Warn you with a Whisper
by Luna Embry
Summary: A bond will shine its brightest in the dark and friendship will overcome adversity.  A curse will cause unforeseen strife and the devastating truth will change everything.  Reality will control fate.  Time has no mercy.  And nothing is what it seems...
1. Chapter 1 Early Suspicions

Warn you with a Whisper: Chapter 1- Early Suspicions

The luminescent rays of the sun shined directly into my left eye. I scooted myself closer towards my tome for a better look. The verdant patch of grass beneath my body tickled my knees as I rested on them. I shifted my weight so I was sitting on my behind instead of knees, which were smudged with a layer of dirt from the wet terrain. As my bottom came into contact with the grass a sensation of wetness overcame me. For the moment I ignored the dew-covered patch of grass I decided to sit on and focused my attention to the ancient writing before me.

I pinched one of the pages with my thumb and index finger and gingerly flipped the tome's worn page. The particular tome looked as though it could be the same age as the ancient language it read. I only prayed each time I flipped the page that I would not rip it. Some pages looked as if they might crumble if you touched them. All I could do was be certain that I was as meticulous as humanly possible.

I traced my tiny finger across each word. Every now and again my hands would begin to tremble and I could not understand why. Occasionally my heart would accelerate and my breathing would quicken. This time however the tremors in my hands would not let up so I hastily decided to close the book for now. _Such power…_I thought to myself, _just what I need. _

Suddenly the sound of footsteps awoke me from my trance. I spun myself around to see a young boy close to my age with distinct green hair and honeycomb eyes. I smiled upon recognizing my newly acquired friend, Sothe. He took a few unnaturally quiet paces towards me and returned my smile.

"Hey Tormod, what are you doing?" he asked as his eyes flickered towards the ancient tome in my hand. I picked myself up off the ground so I was level with my friend.

"Well if it isn't my favorite thief! How ya doin', buddy?" I asked as I slid my tome between my arm and my side. Sothe's eyes wandered to my tome again and back to my face.

"You didn't answer my question. Where did you get that tome? That thing looks older than Tellius!" he replied with curiosity creeping into his voice. I gripped my tome tighter and held it so my crimson cape would shield it. I subconsciously let out a fake laugh.

"Oh, this old thing? Just something I picked up off a Daein soldier after a battle," I said. Sothe narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips.

"So now you're scavenging weapons from dead soldiers? That's a little weird…. even for you," he remarked. I chuckled nervously again, in attempt to break his tension.

"Well he didn't need it where he was going and besides I was eying the tome up for the _entire_ battle. I'd never seen one quite like it before," I replied confidently. Sothe peeked his head closer to where I held the tome. I instinctively took a step back. The thief narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms in disapproval.

"What's so special about it?" he asked inquisitively. I swallowed deeply and gripped my tome against my side even tighter than before. I scanned my eyes across the camp in attempt to find a distraction but nothing worthy appeared.

"Nothin' really I've just never seen a tome similar to it before. It kinda caught my attention I guess," I replied shakily. Sothe began to walk in circles around me never once letting his gaze off my left arm where I hid my tome. I mirrored his movements in the anticipation that he might try to take the tome from underneath my arm and possibly tear it.

"So why can't I see it?" he interrogated. I stammered for a moment until I thought of something to say.

"Well it's really _really_ old and I don't want you to rip it or anything…" I replied. Suddenly my left arm began to twitch where the tome was resting. _Oh come on, not now…_I thought to myself. The muscle spasm continued until it must have been visibly noticeable. I bit my lower lip and began to turn around. A tight grip on my shoulder stopped me from going any further.

"Tormod…what's up with you're arm?" he asked with concern. My eyes grew wide and I bit down harder on my bottom lip. I thanked the Goddess I wasn't facing towards my friend.

"It's just a…muscle spasm…yeah! Ya know…it happens…when you fight everyday your muscles get tired and well you get it! Anyway, I'll see you around buddy, I got a few things I need to do. See ya!" I said hastily. Before I could even give Sothe a chance to protest I shrugged his hand off my shoulder and sprinted towards camp. I knew he wouldn't be able to keep up with me if I ran my fastest. After all, I learned from the best. Muarim taught me everything I knew except magic. As I approached my tent I prayed Muarim was training and not in the tent because my arm continued to twitch. I knew the spasm wouldn't cease until I dropped the tome.

I opened the flaps of the tent and immediately studied my surroundings. To my delight, the tent was barren. I thanked the Goddess as I slid myself in and pulled out the tome carefully from under my cape. I slid it between a fire and elfire tome that was neatly stacked in the corner of the tent. I figured this way its presence was inconspicuous enough for the time being.

My arm began to relax at my side as I drew a deep breath. I couldn't help but to wonder what the effects of actually using the tome would be. Just by holding it I could feel it's unbelievable power pulsing through my veins. I could not ignore the fact that it could quite possibly inflict harm upon me but it was a risk I was willing to take. If something held so much power that it could hurt the predator then there was no hope for the prey. A little burn here and there wouldn't inflict a profuse amount of damage anyway. As long as it helps to protect the ones I love then that is all I can ask of a weapon.

For the time being I had to hide the deadly weapon from the others especially Muarim, but hiding it from him wouldn't be too much of an issue. Muarim wasn't exactly magic savvy since he was a laguz and only needed his claws to rip an enemy to pieces. He would most likely overlook it as another fire or elfire tome.

Now that my secret weapon was hidden it was safe to leave the tent. I prayed I wouldn't run into Sothe again because there was no doubt he would be full with questions. I pushed the flaps of my tent away and began to walk through but was immediately halted by a body standing in my way. I crashed into the figure like thunder nearly knocking him down. I pulled my face out of his chest and looked up to see a pair of honey colored eyes staring back at me.

"Geez Sothe watch where you're standing!" I scolded. The thief frowned and crossed his arms while letting out a frustrated grunt. "Are you alright, Sothe?" I asked as I noticed the dismay in his gestures.

"I'm fine but it's you I'm curious about. Why were you in such a rush to get away from me before? That's not like you…at all," he said with an obvious tone of voice. I let a grin plaster onto my face.

"Awww Sothe are you worried about me? You're such a great friend!" I nearly shouted with a small giggle. Sothe rolled his eyes and let out an exasperated sigh.

"That's not…" he began before I interrupted him.

"But there's no need to worry your pal Tormod is doin' just fine! I feel great actually!" I said with a voice full of cheer. Sothe let out another long sigh and I gave him a smile in return.

"Well before you were…" I interrupted him again with more excuses.

"I was in the zone before! Never disturb a mage when he's reading his tome. Just like when your thieving around you don't need someone stepping on twigs making lots of noise. It's all about the concentration, my friend," I said with utmost confidence. Sothe dropped his gaze to his feet knowing that he couldn't argue anymore. I placed an arm around Sothe's shoulders in a friendly fashion and faced him away from the tent. "Come on buddy, let's go get some dinner before there's nothing left!" I suggested as we began for the kitchen. Despite my efforts, something told me Sothe wasn't going to drop this that easily.


	2. Chapter 2 A Bond

Warn you with a Whisper- Chapter 2: A Bond

A chilling wind slapped me across the cheek as I made my way back to my tent for the night. A prickling sensation tickled my legs from the goose bumps that were forming. It was evident that winter was well on its way, but the cold weather didn't come as too much of a shock for me. Desert nights were often frigid and I learned to become accustomed to it, although I did not favor them.

I scurried into the tent hoping it would be warmer but to my dismay it was not. I rubbed my hands over my freezing arms in attempt to heat them up. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Muarim, staring at me with concern.

"Little one are you well?" he asked. I pulled my cape over both of my arms like a blanket and sat closer to Muarim. My lips curved into a smile.

"I'm awesome! Why? Do I look sick?" I responded sweetly. The tiger chuckled lightly to himself and tousled my crimson hair with his hand.

"No, not sick. You look awfully cold though. I know how much you _love_ the cold," he said mockingly. I giggled at his sarcasm.

"Well Winter is coming…which makes me really miss how warm the desert is," I replied. Muarim nodded his head with a forced smile. I could tell he missed home just as much as I did, but helping Crimea win the war just seemed like the right thing to do. "But hey! Before you know it the war will be over and we can go home. But before we can even think about that we have to prepare ourselves for all of the battles that are still to come," I said. Muarim looked down with a frown on his face. He let out a heavy sigh.

"Little one..." he began with a hushed tone. I scooted closer to him because he seemed upset for whatever reason.

"Yeah? Something wrong?" I asked with unease. His topaz eyes wandered back to my face.

"I-I don't want you fighting anymore. The battlefield is no place for a child. I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you…" he trailed off morosely. My heart thudded anxiously against my chest.

"What? Are you kidding? Of course I'm going to fight! I'm unstoppable with magic! I can hold my own in a battle and I want to protect the ones that I love," I snapped. I didn't even think about what I was saying, it just sort of spilled out of my mouth without my control. "And there's no way you're stopping me."

"I know you are very skilled but if anything were to happen to you…I would never forgive myself. Each battle is getting more and more treacherous and…" before he could finish I cut him off.

"Don't you think I feel the same way? I'd hate to wait around while you fought. I want to be out there with you! We make a pretty amazing team too, might I add! But if it makes you feel better I'll be extra careful." Muarim sighed in defeat and looked up at me lovingly.

"You are impossible to argue with…just promise me you'll stay where I can see you," he said. I smiled brightly and chuckled.

"Of course!" I agreed ecstatically. Suddenly a fierce gust of wind blew the flaps of the tent wide open. The freezing air made contact with my skin triggering the chattering of my teeth. The rest of my body shivered from shock of the cool air. I hugged my red cape tighter against my body in anticipation of another gale. Muarim made his way to the opening of the tent and quickly sealed it shut. He then noticed my discomfort once again.

"Here," he said. The tiger then dissolved gracefully out of his humanoid form and into a ferocious beast. He made his way to a comfortable corner and laid down. He rested his chin on his paws and then looked over to me. He let out a low growl as if to tell me to come closer to him. I nestled myself close to his side. His soft fur brushed up against me and the warmth of his body transferred to mine. He gently nudged my head with his as if to say "good night".

Muarim as a tiger always made for the best blanket and pillow. Sleeping that particular way was something we often did in the desert when the nights were unbearably cold. I buried my face into his green fur and let his warmth spread over me. I shut my eyes and attempted to fall into unconsciousness but was unsuccessful. My mind was weaving with the anticipation of tomorrow's battle. I wondered just how powerful the new tome would be or maybe it wouldn't be powerful at all. It was considerably old. Either way I couldn't wait to try it out.

I tried to push the thoughts out of my head but it proved to be next to impossible. A good night sleep seemed completely out of reach.


	3. Chapter 3 Warned

Chapter 3: Warned

The following morning at daybreak we began our frigid march to Daein. The sound of snow crunching beneath my boots echoed around me. A frosty wind nipped at my skin as light snow flurries began to fall. I shuddered from the freezing temperatures but held my hand out curiously in hope that a snowflake would fall on it. As much as I hated the cold, the white clumps were fascinating. It was the first time I had ever seen snow. Finally a small flake gracefully descended into my hand. It was wet and cold to the touch and almost immediately melted as it came into contact with my body. My eyes opened wide in surprise.

"You look like you've never seen snow before," said a voice that was approaching behind me. I turned around to see familiar green hair and golden eyes. Suddenly, a chill shimmied down my spine and I instinctively cupped my hands to my mouth and breathed hot air into them.

"Well I haven't! I'm from the desert; the only time it gets cold is at night. I'm not sure if I'd like living somewhere where it snowed all the time…" I replied. Sothe sped up so he was walking side by side with me.

"You get used to it," he said bleakly. I quirked one eye brow up in curiosity and stared at my friend who wasn't looking back at me.

"Huh? Do you live somewhere like this?" I asked inquisitively. Sothe's face remained blank and emotionless.

"It's not important," he remarked in monotone. I didn't press him any further because I hated being interrogated myself. Besides, I figured he would probably tell me eventually where he was from.

"Y'know I bet you'd like it in the desert! After this whole war is over you should visit me there!" I suggested. He frowned and kept his gaze focused forwards.

"Once this war is over there's someone I need to find…don't get insulted if you never see me again," he said dismally. I looked at him with confusion but he still wasn't looking back at me. I had to admit I felt a little hurt that he wasn't even willing to make an effort to see me after the war. For the remainder of the walk I kept my mouth closed and remained silent.

Another chilling gust of wind passed through. Subconsciously, my teeth began to chatter and my body shook. The sound of footfalls behind became louder and louder until I felt soft fur brush up against me. I turned to my right and saw Muarim walking by my side in his beast form. He must have heard my teeth chatter from where ever he was prior. His laguz ears were much more sensitive than the ears of a beorc.

"I'm okay Muarim…we're almost there anyway," I said assuredly. He let out a low grunt and rubbed up against my side one more time. One thing about Muarim was that he never stopped worrying about me. Whenever I'm just a little agitated he's always immediately at my side. I couldn't have asked for a more loyal companion.

As we continued trekking through the snow, knife edged mountains came into view. The mountains were the border between Begnion and Daein. Seeing them meant that we finally arrived. A few paces ahead of me was our commander Ike and beside him was the deputy commander of Begnion's Holy Guard, Tanith.

"Once we cross that great wall, we'll be in Daein," she began. Suddenly here gaze wandered to a pack of wyvern riders. She nudged Ike nervously. "Look there, atop that building! Daein wyvern riders on patrol…they won't be happy to see us," she remarked as she stared critically at them. She paused and turned so she faced our commander. "Tell me General Ike, have you faced wyvern riders in combat?" she asked curiously. Ike nodded his head not showing any hint of fear.

"Only a few times. I got the impression that Kilvas ravens were the more dangerous foe," he replied. Tanith let out a sigh.

"If that's your impression then you have yet to fight true wyvern riders. I have no way of judging the ones we see here, but I know another unit, one that was attached to Begnion's temple guard. They had their reasons for leaving…but the important thing to remember is that they are exceedingly powerful," she spoke. Ike nodded his head in agreement.

"Which explains why the apostle sent you to accompany us," he assumed. Tanith stroked her Pegasus in adoration.

"That's right. Pegasus knights fair better than most against wyvern riders. We know the skies as well as they do," she informed. Ike crossed his arms over his chest and looked towards the mountain range.

"Yeah, I prefer to keep my feet on the ground, thank you. Can I entrust the flying business to you?" He asked. I snickered at his bluntness that always seemed to be present in conversation. The corners of Tanith's lips quirked into a smile.

"Of course. We'll bring honor to the name of the apostle's sacred guards," she said proudly.

After we had reached the border, the army began to set up camp. Sothe seemed to disappear and Muarim was helping set up tents since he was great with any heavy lifting. Soren made his way over to Ike to report the results of the last battle. "That is all. With your leave, I will excuse myself," he concluded. Underneath my right arm I held my new tome. No tremors had yet occurred and I was thankful. My heart pounded anxiously. I was ready for battle and it was killing me just waiting around for Ike to give the word.

Suddenly a small body crashed into me nearly knocking me over. My tome slid out from underneath my arm and plunged into the snow. I bent down to grab it but someone already beat me to it. He had jet-black hair and deathly pale skin, I recognized him as our strategist, Soren. I drew in a sharp breath as I watched him pick up my tome. The color drained from my face.

"Sorry about that, I should pay more attention to my surroundings," he began. He carefully studied the tome in his hand. I gulped nervously. "I believe this belongs to you," he said, still not letting it go. I nodded my head and reached out for my tome but Soren had no intention of handing it over as his eyes were glued to the cover. He opened the book and began rifling through the worn pages. His eyes enlarged and he let out a small gasp. "Th-this….this is an ignis tome. Where in Tellius did you find this?" he snapped.

I wanted so badly to rip the tome out of his hands and run. The sage was known for his legendary temper and brilliance. He looked as if knew much more about the tome than I did, maybe it could prove to be useful. "I-I found it after the last battle. I had never seen one like it before so I-I took it," I admitted tensely. Soren narrowed his eyes and shook his head in disgust.

"Do you have even the slightest idea of how powerful this is?" he asked with an attitude showing in his voice. I gulped again and bit my bottom lip.

"W-well…I can feel its power…sometimes it makes my arm shake…" I reluctantly admitted. The mage looked at me in disbelief.

"Do you have any idea how _stupid_ you have to be to use this? This type of magic is _guaranteed_ to kill the one who uses it…not even the most skilled sage can survive the effects of it," he said sharply. I knew it had to be powerful but I never knew to what extent. What Soren said was beyond shocking and frightening but there had to be some false point in his accusation. How could it be possible that not even a highly skilled sage could pull the magic off? Nothing added up.

"How do you know? Have you ever used it?" I interrogated. He rolled his eyes and scoffed at me.

"I wouldn't be here right now if I had ever used this…this…abomination! The only reason I know about is because I once knew someone who used this kind of magic in another mercenary group," he said. I stared at him curiously.

"What happened to him?" I asked breathlessly. Soren sighed and looked down at the snow.

"What do you think happened? He died! And it wasn't fast either. It was slow and painful. He wasn't strong enough to speak, but from what we could tell he died of a fever. It took several days for him to finally perish and there was nothing any of the other mercenaries could do. He was always screaming too. He screamed as if he was burning to death…it was horrifying," he said sullenly.

A bead of sweat rolled off my forehead from his chilling tale. I thought my heart was going to pop out of my chest, but somehow I managed to hold it together. "Maybe he wasn't a good mage…or maybe he did something wrong," I said shakily. Soren shook his head and gathered his fallen tomes.

"It would be very wise not to use that magic. If you value your life…burn it. But if you're going to be over confident…I'll start digging you a grave. Either way it makes no difference to me," he said callously. He picked himself up off the ground and made his way to the tents without another word.


	4. Chapter 4 Battle Ensued

Chapter 4 -Battle Ensued

I wandered aimlessly around head quarters with my mind buzzing. I couldn't stop myself from thinking about what Soren said. He could have been exaggerating and the mage could have been inexperienced, right? I've always been exceptional with magic…so what if a spell was exceedingly difficult to perform? Anything can happen on a battlefield if you don't know what you're doing. Every time I fight I risk my life anyway. Maybe Soren was just jealous that I came across such a rare tome. Suddenly, I heard a familiar voice calling for me.

"Little one!" said Muarim. I turned around to see my laguz companion.

"Hey Muarim, what's going on?" I asked. He took a few steps closer to me and placed a hand on the top of my head and tousled my hair like he so often does.

"We need to speak with Ike and ask him what he needs us to do in the battle," he replied. I tightly gripped my tome at the mention of the upcoming battle. Then, I nodded my head in agreement.

"Right! Good idea," I said. The blue haired commander stood not too far from us sharpening his blade. Muarim and I walked over to him side by side.

"Ike! Which troop should we fall in with? We have received no orders yet," I said. Ike ceased sharpening his blade and slid it back into his scabbard. He turned around and politely smiled at Muarim and I. He then looked at us with an expression of sincerity.

"Tormod, Muarim, I know I've asked you many times, but…are you sure you want to be here?" he asked carefully. I playfully rolled my eyes and let out a deep breath.

"You keep asking that! Maybe you don't want us here. Is that it? I don't know what to think!" I confided. Ike immediately shook his head in opposition.

"No, it's not that at all. To be honest, the battle ahead is going to be hard…it looks bleak. I'd rather those without direct ties to Crimea not get involved," he admitted. I crossed my arms and frowned at his proposal.

"A bleak battle? What about trying to free all the slaves in Begnion? Now _those_ were bleak battles," I replied. It was true, breaking into the homes of nobles were no easy tasks, and sometimes fighting became necessary. "Bleak battles are our specialty. Right Muarim?" I added.

He put a hand on my shoulder and said, "Yes you are. Yet thanks to Ike's time in Begnion, things have changed completely". Ike nodded his head.

"That's right. The apostle has promised to press her investigation until there's not a single laguz slave left in the entire nation," he began. Muarim and I were both incredibly thankful for that fact. A smile spread across my face. "So there's no reason for you two to continue fighting, is there? You don't owe me anything…"

I stopped him before he could finish his thought. "We're going to fight with you, Ike. We want to help!" I declared assertively.

"It's our right to join you in this. Just as it is your right to refuse us," Muarim added. Ike let out a sigh of relief and smiled at the two of us.

"To be perfectly frank. I would be willing to beg to get you to join us. Both of you, all right?" he said. Muarim's lips curved into a smile.

"All right," he agreed. I was relieved Ike didn't want us to leave. I nearly started jumping up and down.

"Ha ha! You can count on us!" I stated cheerfully.

The sun was high in the sky signifying that it was around noon. The Crimean Liberation army took their positions just outside of Tor Garen. I took my place in the third line from the front since I was better at attacking from a distance. Muarim stood in the second line from the front, directly in front of me. To my left was Sothe who carried a sack over his shoulder. All together there were about thirteen of us fighting. Plus we had gained a few important allies including Prince Reyson, Janaff, and Ulki.

The snow had mostly let up but it was still like being on a frozen tundra. I turned myself to face Sothe. "Hey, make sure you steal me something really nice, kay?" I said. He let out a small laugh.

"Yeah, I'll be sure to do that," he replied. He then looked over to me with downcast eyes. For whatever reason he seemed tense. "And try not to get yourself killed," he added. I playfully punched him on the shoulder and giggled.

"Aww Sothe…don't be such a worry wart!" I said. He rolled his eyes and let out a sigh. Then Muarim turned around to face me, still in his humanoid form.

"Little one…" he began. His face was uneasy and his eyes screamed worry.

"Yeah?" I said. He looked at me as if he would never see me again. He took a few steps closer and then pulled me into tight hug. I squeezed him back. The embrace felt delightful since Muarim was always warm and at the moment I was freezing. He held onto me affectionately. I rested my head on top of his shoulder.

"Promise me you'll be careful," he whispered.

"I promise," I replied. He knelt down so he was level with me and held onto me for one more moment until he let go. He placed both of his hands firmly on my shoulders.

"Don't do anything out of your league, okay?" he asked earnestly. I let out a disapproving snort.

"What is with you people and not having any confidence in me? I'm fine! I'll be okay, you'll see. I'm not a little kid anymore…" Muarim still looked at me with unease and forced a smile.

"Ah yes, you are growing up but you will always be a child to me," spoke Muarim. I let out an exasperated puff of air. Sothe lightly chuckled.

"Little baby Tormod…" he teased. I nearly exploded but somehow held it together.

"You'll regret that, Sothe!" I shouted angrily. Sothe returned my outburst with a smile and a laugh. I opened my mouth to protest once more but was interrupted.

"Listen up everyone!" shouted Ike. "The enemy should not be aware that we've come this far. We're going to launch a surprise attack and try to capture the wall on our first charge. Remember, this may be our first battle as an official army, but we've fought Daein many times. We're going to win. After all, I can't lose my first battle as a snooty noble, now can I?" said the commander. At his words everyone took battle formation. Muarim went back to his spot and shifted into a tiger. "Let's move out, everyone!" shouted Ike.

The smell of metal and sweat was close by. The battle had officially begun. All turned to chaos in seconds. Muarim stalked a lance-wielding soldier, waiting for just the right time to pounce. When he found an opening he dug his claws into the soldiers side until he was limp and slumped to the floor. Sothe seemed to disappear in a flash. His footfalls virtually made not a single noise. My hands shook with anticipation and my breathing labored just a bit. I cringed as I watched Titania slice an archer vertically across the chest. She yanked her bloodstained axe away from the fallen enemy and made her way to the next. Ike charged towards a mage cutting him across the stomach, not leaving him a singe breath. A crimson liquid dripped from the edge of his sword but the commander seemed to not pay any mind to it.

A roar of battle cries and clashing of metal echoed through the air. I hugged my "ignis" tome (as Soren had called it) closer to my chest. I had to wait for the opportune moment to test it out. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Soren cast an adept wind spell on a raven. Wind magic always struck me as fascinating. It looked as if several green blades came blowing towards the enemy enveloping him in an energy-stealing cocoon. Suddenly my stomach dropped as I was reminded of Soren's menacing warning. My heart rate accelerated and my palms began to sweat. _I'm not afraid…I am NOT afraid_, I thought to myself repeatedly.

After only a few minutes on the battlefield several deceased soldiers decorated the floor. A few anxiously gasped for air as they tried desperately to cling onto life. The other living soldiers grabbed their wounds with their hands in attempt to slow down the bleeding. Shrill screams escaped from their chapped lips while they fought desperately for their lives. This was the part of fighting nobody enjoyed. It was gruesome to say the least. I had to pull my eyes away from the fallen enemies and advance forwards.

Suddenly, I heard a loud cry coming from behind me. I quickly spun myself around to see a myrmidon raising a steel sword at me. I nearly jumped out of my skin as the enemy took me off guard. However, at the last second, I rolled out of the line of fire completely unharmed. The Goddess must have been watching over me because I had gotten extremely lucky. _Now is the time_, I thought to myself. I hastily opened the tome and anxiously picked through the pages. My hands began to tremor, but this time not from nerves. I had to ignore it for now because any hesitation would cost me my life. When I finally found the spell I almost cried out in joy. I placed my index finger on the words I needed to simply mutter to end the enemy's life. I parted my cracked lips and let the ancient language roll off my tongue.


	5. Chapter 5 Burning Regret

Chapter 5- Burning Regret

A scorching blue flame ignited in the palm of my hand. I gasped at the bizarre color of the flame. I could feel the magic penetrating through my glove and into my skin. Fire and elfire never once burned through my clothing. I hissed as the flare made contact with my flesh. Before I released the spell on the pugnacious enemy before me I studied the flame one last time.

My mind could have been playing tricks on me but I could have sworn I saw a face somewhere within the flame, laughing at me. I blinked a few times and refocused on the magic but the mysterious face had disappeared. I had to have been seeing things.

Without another word I raised my hand in the air like I had done a million times before with other spells and screamed "ignis!" at the top of my lounges. The blue flame danced towards the enemy. To my surprise, the magic took a different route than I had expected. It raced towards the myrmidon's chest and disappeared once it made impact. The enemy soldier squeezed his eyes shut in anticipation of being burned, but nothing seemed to happen. He apprehensively opened one eye to find himself unharmed. He let out a devious laugh thinking he had won.

A drop of sweat rolled down my forehead. I swallowed deeply and nearly cried. The spell had done nothing. The enemy was virtually unharmed. For a moment I thought of casting the spell again but to my extreme dismay the book was beginning to crumble into a pile of ash as if it were burning. "You have got to be kidding me," I muttered under my breath.

As to be expected the enemy came charging at me once more. I prepared myself for the worst as I watched his steps get larger and larger. Unexpectedly, the myrmidon came to an abrupt halt. I held my breath as I watched him drop his sword to the ground. He contracted his body in pain as if someone punched him in the stomach. He squeezed his eyes shut in anguish. Then, a blood-curdling scream ripped through the air. It pierced through my ears. In response I cringed uncomfortably. The soldier dropped to floor limply. A film of wetness covered his face. He did not cease screaming for even a second. He threw his hands over his face and dug his nails into his skin, leaving a trail of red where his nails had been. Was it really that painful? I trembled where I stood and watched the disturbing scene before me.

The myrmidon shook and screamed wildly. "Ah…it…burns…too mu-" he muttered breathlessly as his terror stricken eyes rolled to the back of his head. I couldn't bear to watch it anymore. It was as if the enemy was being burned from the inside out instead of vice versa. I spun myself around and made haste. I had to keep myself out of the fray because I was defenseless since my only tome crumbled in my hands. I should never have relied so heavily on such an old thing.

As I took a few steps away from the fallen enemy I brought my hand up to my face reflexively. I instinctively sealed my eyes shut and a small tear rolled down face. I grunted in pain. It felt like my eyes were on fire, like they were being scorched out of their sockets. I swallowed the horrific cry in my lungs and attempted to open my eyes. There wasn't much to see, everything appeared as a blur. The last thing I recall seeing before I sealed my eyes shut was a flash of green.

As I closed my eyes my entire body felt like a ton of bricks. I swayed where I stood because I could barely support my own body. _What is happening to me?_ My entire body felt frail and feeble. Finally, I crumpled to the stone floor in defeat. Subconsciously I began to hyperventilate. I gulped for air as if I were drowning. Then I felt like I was being roasted over a roaring fire. I was so hot that I thought my entire body could have been getting engulfed in flames. A shrill cry escaped my burning lips; I couldn't hold it in anymore. Was this the pain the myrmidon felt before he…he…

Suddenly I felt cool hands on my face. It could have been an enemy coming to finish me off. I prayed that it was true because the agony was unbearable. I wanted it to end. "T-tormod…please…just hang on…" cried a faint voice. The scorching sensation shifted to my torso and I squealed out in torment once again. I was mildly upset that the person before me had not come to finish me off.

With all my might I forced my eyes half open. I mostly saw blurs of green and I could just barely make out a familiar face. "S-s-sothe…" I whispered. I felt cool hands on my body again. Sothe draped my arm over his shoulder and we began to move.

"You're going to be okay…we just need to find Rhys," he concluded. Something told me that the healer wouldn't be able to help me. What could he possibly do? I was burning from the inside out; there were no wounds to seal. Somehow I felt that Sothe knew that too, but didn't want to admit. I was doomed, plain and simple. I should never have tried that spell. How could I have been so ignorant? I had gotten my fair warning too, it was my own fault.

After moving for a quite a bit I saw an orange and white blur. It must have been Rhys since I knew he had orange hair. My body carefully hit the pavement as Sothe lowered me down.

"Rhys! I need your help….I…I don't know what's wrong with him…" said Sothe restlessly. I felt a soft and delicate hand on my forehead.

"Hmm…he's burning up…and fast. He has no wounds, was he ill before the battle?" asked the healer. I could feel Sothe tensing up, even though I could barely see.

"N-no! He was completely fine! I…I have my theory though…"said Sothe. I forced my eyes open a little wider to see someone dressed in black come into view.

"Let me guess, it has to do with that tome he was carrying around," said a voice that I soon recognized as Soren's. From what I could tell, Sothe looked surprised and turned to the mage.

"How did you know?" he asked.

"Well to make a long story short I took a good look at the tome and I recognized it as the same one that had killed a fellow comrade of mine in another mercenary company I was with. It has unbelievable strength and is also said to be cursed," said Soren bitterly. I could see Sothe's face turn red in anger.

"You're telling me that you knew the tome was dangerous and didn't even make an attempt to tell Tormod! Am I hearing this correctly? Because if I am then I will cut you to-" Soren raised his hand in protest.

"Will you calm down! I gave your friend a much more in depth warning. He chose to ignore me…it was his decision to throw his life away, not mine. And to be frank it's nothing short of a miracle he's still alive," argued Soren. Sothe's face turned an even brighter red.

"Stop it! That's not true!" yelled the thief. I hated to do this, but the pain became too agonizing to take so I let out another scream. My hands curved into fists and my nails dug into my skin. "Rhys there has to be something you can do! He's in pain!" cried my friend. The healer let out a disheartening sigh and shook his head.

"There's nothing a healer can do for him. It's all internal, there's nothing for him to heal with a staff. Look, if I were you I'd start saying my good byes," said Soren insensitively. Sothe clutched his knife with his hand and raised it above his head.

"If you don't shut your mouth right now I'll see you dead! Clearly you don't care what happens here so just leave! You're not doing any of us any good! Gosh! No wonder nobody likes you! NOW GET OUT OF MY FACE!" he roared. Soren narrowed his eyes and began to walk away.

"Don't blame me because you can't handle the truth. I say things as they are, I'm sorry you can't accept that. I will take my leave," he said as he disappeared into the fray. I moaned out loud in agony and tried to open my mouth to speak but was unable. Sothe kneeled down next to me and cradled my head in his arms. I had to admit I was surprised he had done that. We were close friends but despite that Sothe was never the affectionate type. I tilted my head back so I could see him. His lips began to quiver and wetness formed under his eyes. _He cares so much…_I thought to myself.

I struggled again to get some words out of my mouth. "S-sothe…I…w-where's…Muar…im" I whispered weakly. If what Soren said was true then I wanted to see my guardian one last time.

"Oh yes…of course you want him. I-I'll go find him," he said in a thick voice that was on the brink of tears. I grunted disapprovingly.

"N-no…don't go…I-I'm scared…of dying," I muttered softly. Suddenly, I felt a warm liquid drop onto my forehead where Sothe was holding me. He let out a hushed sob and squeezed me tighter.

"Don't talk like that! I'm going to figure something out! Soren doesn't know what he's talking about! He's just bitter because nobody likes him," he cried. Once again I couldn't help myself from shouting out in anguish. I tried to swallow the screams but it was useless. The pain was excruciating and I wasn't sure how long I'd be able to hold on. But a part of me didn't want to let go of life so abruptly. I never wanted to cause anyone grief especially Sothe and Muarim. I knew what I had to do. I had to survive for their sakes. Then a booming voice came crashing through.

"LITTLE ONE!" it screamed.


	6. Chapter 6 Stay a little longer

Chapter 6: Stay a little longer

"Looks like…he found me first," I struggled weakly. Sothe loosened his grip on me and turned his head in the direction of the voice. Muarim barreled through the soldiers in his human form shoving anyone out of his way. I had never once seen Muarim take human form on the battlefield but within the blink of an eye he was at my side. I wished so terribly that I could hold my deathly screams back at least for him but I just couldn't. His eyebrows pulled together and the corners of his lips were downturned. His eyes were narrow and he hunched his back over.

He scooped me up swiftly off the floor and pulled me closer towards his chest. I whipped my head back from another outburst of pain. "Little one…what happened?" he asked urgently. I tried to open my mouth to reply but all that came out was a shrill scream. I felt like I was literally being engulfed in flames. Sothe saw me struggle and spoke in my stead.

"It was a cursed tome he used…" said Sothe. Muarim looked at Sothe wide eyed.

"What do you mean a cursed tome? What are you saying? What's wrong with my little one? TELL ME!" he roared with ferocity. Sothe dropped his gaze to the floor.

"Well that cold hearted mage thinks, no _swears _that it's gonna…it's gonna…" Sothe let out an awkward squeak that stopped him from finishing his thought but he didn't need to finish it. Muarim could fill in the blanks. He held me tighter to his body with no intention of letting go.

"No…not my…not my little…" he let out a loud sob and stroked the top of my head. "Little one…just look at my face…try and focus for me," he said. I held back my screams to the best of my ability and looked at my guardian. His face was wet from tears but it made me want to hang on just a little more. If I had known the pain I was going to cause I would have never used the tome. Muarim looked like he was in more pain than I was. A different kind of pain, but one that hurts equally as much. "Good. Now I'm going to get you out of here, okay?" he said.

"I-I tried to get help from Rhys…but…he said he couldn't do anything," Sothe whimpered. His lip quivered and he rested his forehead on his hand frustratingly. I parted my lips and tugged on Muarim's navy blue shirt.

"I-I'm s-sorry…I…didn't th-think it would…ahhghhh!" I cried. My words were cut short by a screech. Two tears rolled gently down my cheek. "Muarim…it hurts so much." He cradled me in his arms like I was an infant and rubbed my back comfortingly.

"Shhh…just stay with me. I'm here. The battle is thinning out…we can make a run for it back to camp," he said as he began to stand up while conveying me in his arms. Sothe stood up too.

"I'm coming with you," he said. Muarim hesitantly nodded his head and began for the camps. Sothe unsheathed his knife, making sure no soldiers were planning on impending a sneak attack. Suddenly everything seemed to be a red blur. Everything in my vision seemed to wave. My eyelids felt like cement and I dropped my head against Muarim's chest. I let my eyes slowly close. Then it felt like I was shaking. I didn't realize until I had opened my eyes that the shaking was Muarim trying to wake me up. I knew he was afraid I wouldn't wake up if I fell asleep but a strange feeling of exhaustion seemed to wash over me at the moment that I couldn't seem to fight away.

"Little one! Stay awake…for me. Can you do that?" he asked worriedly. My hands shook and I could feel my nose beginning to run. This time I knew it was from fear. Fear of death. Was this where I was going to die? What would happen? I let out a loud sob and tugged on Muarim's shirt like an infant trying to get their parent's attention.

"M-muarim…am I…am I gonna die?" I sobbed. I wanted to stay alive more than anything but I could feel myself slipping into darkness more and more with each passing second.

"No! I won't allow it! You stay with me, got it?" he replied. I couldn't tell how much time had passed but I noticed we were inside the medical tent and I was nestled inside a sleeping bag. I shot up and scanned the room for Muarim but he wasn't there. I instantly went into a panic and my heart almost popped out of my chest. Suddenly out of the corner of my eye I saw a green figure.

"Hey, don't worry he went out to find Rhys to see if there's anything he can give you for your fever," said Sothe.

"Oh…okay. Hey, Sothe?" I whispered. He leaned closer towards me.

"Yeah?" he replied.

"Thanks…for everything," I said as I let my eyes begin to close.

"What are you talking about? Thanks for what? And you're not supposed to be sleeping! Tormod, wake up or I'll…" I cut him off.

"Thanks…for being a good friend," I said weakly. Sothe sobbed lightly. A drop of water sprinkled over my forehead.

"Stop it! Stop talking like you're…don't leave me!" he shouted. I shut my eyes completely and opened my mouth one last time.

"Tell Muarim…I love him. And Sothe?" I murmured almost silently.

"Tormod!" he screamed. Tears rolled off my face and I drew in a short breath.

"I…see you later," I muttered and completely fell into darkness.

_I saw him sitting on a stone by himself sharpening his knife. What a perfect opportunity to get his attention. He didn't seem incredibly busy…so why not? The clouds hung low in the sky and the sun was just beginning to set. My boots flattened the blades of grass as I made my way over to the boy clad in green._

"_Hey you! You were with us during the attack the other day, right?" I said, a little too loud for my liking. He sheathed his knife and turned around to face me. He quirked one eyebrow up in confusion. _

"_I don't know what you're talking about," he replied. Great, this was going to be harder than it looked. I tried to lighten the mood with a smile._

"_No, I remember you! I saw you shanking enemy soldiers with that tiny blade of yours. You're amazing! By the way, did you know we're almost the same age? Oh, sorry…I'm Tormod. I might not look like it but I'm pretty much the most dangerous mage around." I boasted. He kept his mouth shut and rolled his eyes at me. Apparently flattery wasn't going to work well either. I took a step closer to him._

"_And you are?" I asked while cocking my head to the side. He flickered his eyes back to me._

"_Sothe," he responded in monotone. I let another smile spread across my face. I outstretched my right hand for a handshake._

"_It's nice to meet you Sothe!" I said cheerily. He looked at my outstretched hand then back at me as if I was crazy. I put my hand down to my side. "By the way, why are you working as a mercenary with this army?" I asked to fill the awkwardness. His lips curved downward._

"_You don't need to know that," he said sharply. I opened my mouth in surprise at his lack of kindness. _

"_Hey! What's with you? No need to be rude!" I yelled. Sothe shrugged his shoulders and picked himself up off the stone. Then he walked away without another word._

_..._

_There he was again, rummaging through a bag of what I assumed to be stolen goods…completely by himself. He had to have been lonely. He didn't seem to talk to any of the other mercenaries. After the other day I wasn't ready to give up, not yet. I casually walked over to him and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around in shock._

"_Hello, Sothe!" I said happily. He pursed his lips and rolled his eyes. I smiled back nervously. "I was thinking….we're both lethal mercenaries and we're both about the same age, so we should be friends!" I suggested. Sothe crossed his arms and sighed frustratingly. I was relieved I had finally just come out with it. Although he didn't seem too thrilled with the idea._

"_I don't think so," he said rudely. _

"_No? Well, you can say that, but I'm still going to be your friend. You'll see!" I replied confidently. He grunted audibly. _

"_You're insane," he said._

"_Yeah…? Well…maybe I am! But it's not like being my friend is going to hurt you!" I replied with a bright smile. I winked my right eye and gave him the thumbs up. In return, he turned himself around and walked away._

_..._

_I was feeling great. It was just about dusk and I was ready to head in for the night until I saw the boy clad in green. He seemed to be walking towards his tent. What a wonderful coincidence that we were both to run into each other before the end of the night! I knew we were going to be friends, it just seemed like fate. Before he opened the flap to his tent I shot my arm up in the air and waved him down. _

"_Hello, friend!" I yelled. He stopped in his tracks and looked directly at me. He let out a puff of air that blew his hair out of his face. I ran over to him quickly before he could run off somewhere. _

"_Give it up. We're not friends," he argued. _

"_You're going to be my friend. Whether you like it or not," I stated boldly as I slightly raised my chin. Sothe sighed._

"_Why are you so determined?" he asked. I cast my eyes off to the side and kicked some pebbles nervously with my boot._

"_It's Muarim," I responded truthfully. Sothe suddenly appeared to be interested in the conversation._

"_Muarim? You mean that tiger? What about him?" he questioned. I dropped my gaze to my feet and continued kicking around pebbles. _

"_Well, he looks sad every time I see him…he thinks it's his fault that I don't have any beorc friends. That's why I wanted you to be my friend—to make him feel better," I confessed. The thief's eyes widened and he parted his lips._

"_You should have said as much. Then I wouldn't have thought you were crazy," he replied. My eyes lit up and I smiled brilliantly at Sothe. _

"_That changes things?" I said excitedly. My heart thudded anxiously against my chest._

"_Sure," he replied simply. I almost screamed out in joy but I had to make sure this was for real._

"_Why?" I asked. _

"_He's like a father to you. I understand why you don't want to cause him grief. I also have…someone…who is like a parent to me," he admitted. I smiled again even brighter than before._

"_Oh, I get it! Hey, you grew up a lot like me then! We're going to be best friends forever!" I shouted in joy. I put my arm around his shoulder._

"_Er…well…we'll talk. Sometimes. But don't get the idea that we're best friends!" he disagreed. I chuckled at him._

"_Why? We have so much in common!" I enunciated. _

_He shrugged my arm off his soldier and crossed his arms. "No offense, Tormod, but thieves are loners. I can't have you tagging along, snapping twigs and making lots of noise!" I wasn't sure why, but something told me I would find a great friend in Sothe, even though he didn't always show it._

A voice…a beautiful voice…an angel's voice? It was so quiet it was nearly a whisper but I could still make it out. It was singing…yes, it was heavenly. It sang in the ancient language though. The voice was ambrosial…just simply divine. It almost felt like it was giving me energy, like I could open my eyes, but I knew that was impossible. I was dead. I had to be. Was I in heaven? Everything was so dark I couldn't tell. Suddenly off in the distance I saw it…a tear in the darkness where light was shining through. They say when you die you see a light, was this that light? Should I reach for it? I didn't have many options. I could either stay in the darkness or run to the light and see what happened. I took the best course of action and headed for the light. It was further away than it appeared and the beautiful singing became fainter and fainter. It was then that I realized the tear of light was shrinking.


	7. Chapter 7 I will never leave you

Chapter 7: I Will Never Leave You

I squinted my eyes and threw my hand over my face as I approached the light. As I was getting closer, the light grew smaller. When I finally was touching distance from it I hadn't the slightest idea on what to do. I extended my hand forward as if to reach for it. A warm sensation tingled through my fingers to my shoulder and the delightful voice became louder, almost to the point where it was comprehendible.

I drew in a sharp breath and cupped my hand over my mouth. The song…I had heard it somewhere before. Where had it been? It wasn't too long ago either, that much I knew. I bit my lower lip in frustration because I could not for the life of me figure out where I had heard the tune. Then I gasped as I realized how much I was hesitating. I could only assume that I was supposed to step into the light. After all, it was compellingly warm and inviting. I deeply exhaled and picked both my legs up and stepped into the luminosity.

My eyes closed instinctively in the same way as looking directly into the sun. The warmth reappeared but this time it engulfed me entirely. It felt like hundreds of rays of sun were being soaked into my skin. But it wasn't unpleasant in the least, it was wonderful.

Suddenly I felt like had lost my sense of touch. First in my face and eventually making its way down my body to my feet. It was almost like I wasn't there anymore, like I had dissolved into nothingness.

The voice came booming through the air again but this time it was so close that it sounded like it was coming from right next to me. Abruptly I felt my hand curl into a fist and my lips separate. I could feel my body again, which was a relief. I turned my head to the side and twitched my leg to make sure everything was in check. I jerked my other arm and let out a small grunt. Everything seemed to be in order. All that was left was for me to open my eyes. What would I see when they opened? Where would I be? Heaven? There was only one way to find out. I carefully peeled my eyelid away from my eyeball and shot my eyes open.

I fixed my gaze on a burly man in a navy blue shirt and white bandana tied over his head. His skin was tan and marked with four green stripes going across his cheekbone. I knew those features all too well.

"Muarim? What…what happened?" I asked tiredly. He rubbed my back and let out a sob.

"Little one! You're…you're really…thank the Goddess!" he yelled as he squeezed me into a hug.

"Huh? Uhh…I'm so confused…and tired…what's going on?" I asked. Muarim released me and placed both of his abnormally large hands on my shoulders.

"That can wait. Little one…I don't tell you this enough but I love you, okay? Don't ever doubt that…you're the main reason I live and always will be," he said. Tears threatened to form in his eyes once more. "As it turns out…the only thing I can't protect you from is…yourself."

Nothing seemed to add up. I could have sworn I was somewhere else a second ago and now I was back in the tent with Muarim. But one thing was different. The burning, it was completely gone. The only thing I felt now was exhaustion.

"He's right, you know," said a familiar voice that was light and airy. "By doing reckless things, you harm others more than you harm yourself." I focused my stare on the white figure. He had long nearly bleached hair and almost transparent skin. A beautiful set of white wings were attached at his back and his vibrant green eyes popped out dramatically. I recognized him as the heron prince Reyson.

Then it all hit me like a ton of bricks. "You…that song…was that…?" I muttered weakly. He flashed his gaze towards me.

"The same song I used to revive Serenes? Close but not quite. It's the galdr of rebirth. The dark magic inside you was…terrifying. You're lucky you've got quite the set of vocal cords on you or I would have never known this was going on. But I think just about everyone does now. They were all worried about you, right everyone?" spoke the prince. Behind him had to have been most of the mercenaries, packed like sardines inside the medical tent. I couldn't believe my own eyes. Everyone cared that much? Was I hallucinating?

"That's right! Ya'll had us so worried!" said Nephenee in her thick southern accent.

"Yeah!" said the warrior, Boyd. "But I wasn't _that_ worried, I knew you'd pull through because I'm just that kind of guy. Nope I never lost hope…not even for a second." His oldest brother Oscar came up from behind him and tugged on the collar of his shirt.

"If I'm not mistaken, I'm pretty sure you were the one screaming 'he's going to die! He's going to die! Do something already!'. Eh, little brother?" said Oscar. The youngest of the three brothers broke into laughter.

"Haha! Boyd you're just a big baby when it comes down to it!" Rolf teased. Boyd's face became a flaming shade of red and he reached for his little brother's neck ferociously.

"You'll regret that, you booger-eating brat!" he roared. Oscar came between them to cease any fighting.

"Tormod…I'm glad to see you're awake. Welcome back," said commander Ike. My lips curved into a smile.

"Don't scare us like that!" Titania added. "We're all a family here…we care so much about you." Ike nodded his head in agreement.

"Well said Titania."

"Tormod…I'm sorry there wasn't more I could do for you. But now I know that we are so blessed to have the heron prince by our side," spoke Rhys. He smiled at me reassuringly. My lower lip began to quiver.

"You can say that again!" added Mist.

"You aint never gonna scare us like that again, ya hear?" said Brom.

"I don't understand you beorc…you do pretty stupid things to protect one another. Which is another reason why you are the weaker species," stated Lethe.

"I'm _so _hungry…uhhh how do you people survive in these famine conditions?…I mean… I'm glad you're awake!" said Ilyana. I just couldn't believe it. Everyone was worried about me. So many people cared and I had no idea. I wanted to shout in happiness but I held it in.

"Th-thankyou…everyone. I'm sorry I was so reckless…I'll be more careful…" I said in a thick and strained voice. I attempted to sit up but as I did so I began to feel lightheaded. Muarim steadied me from behind so I wouldn't collapse. "Muarim…I'm sorry…I thought I could handle the spell but…I was dead wrong."

"As long as you're alive…that's all that matters. But did I not say to stay where I can see you? You disappeared as soon as the battle started," he said.

"I know…I know. Well…I know now. Soren was right on…" I replied quietly. My guardian lifted an eyebrow in confusion.

"Wait…you _knew_ this would happen? Little one, what were you thinking!" he shouted.

"I…I…I was warned, yes…but I thought I was skilled enough to do it. But then I started feeling hot and dizzy and then….well you know the rest. But I only did it because I wanted to be strong enough to protect you and Sothe…and everybody," I said. I could feel tears threatening to fall but I held them back.

"Protect me? You don't need to do that…I'm fine. We all can hold our own," he replied.

"I did it because I…because I…..." I began. My lips trembled and my nose started to run. Muarim looked at me in concern. "BECAUSE I'M SO SCARED OF LOSING YOU AND BEING ALONE AGAIN! AFTER MOM AND DAD LEFT ME I THOUGHT IT WAS OVER—I thought…". Muarim wrapped his arms around me and I sobbed into his chest. My body trembled. A flood of tears gushed down my red cheeks staining the floor. "But then you found me and kept me…but if anything happened to you…I'LL NEVER BE THAT LUCKY AGAIN!" I screamed into Muarim's chest but his hard body muffled most of the sound. The wailing was almost impossible for me to control; to the point where I felt a little nauseous.

"Little one…look at me," said Muarim. He placed two fingers underneath my chin and lifted it up. I must have looked pathetic with my puffy bloodshot eyes and completely drenched face. "I will NEVER leave you, okay?" he spoke. I tried to open my mouth but all that came out were cries. I hid my face inside of his chest again like a turtle going inside its shell.

I moved my head slightly away from his body so I could make another attempt at speaking. "P-promise? PROMISE ME!" I cried.

"I promise," he replied without a hint of hesitation. Subsequently, the other mercenaries slowly dispersed from the tent one by one, until it was just me and Muarim. A midst the pandemonium I couldn't help but to wonder…where was Sothe?


	8. Chapter 8 Scarred

Chapter 8 Scarred

"Little one, do we need to talk?" Muarim asked softly. I rubbed my eyes and tried to clear my head of Sothe for now.

"No..." I began. He stared at me intently. "Maybe…" I added. It was silent for a moment until I finally said, "yes." Muarim exhaled deeply and looked at me in an alarming way.

"I thought you had no memory of your parents," he said bleakly. I cocked my head to the side.

"No you're right, I really don't. My earliest memories are of the fire…but it's mostly you," I admitted.

"What do you remember of the fire?" he questioned. It seemed like a strange question to ask, but I answered regardless.

"Well…I just remember everyone being in a panic and running out of the house. And…I remember being stuck in my room and being really hot. It was really hard to breathe too….I think I blacked out after that but I'm not sure," I answered truthfully. The night my home went into flames was the last time I was with my parents.

"Yes that's accurate," he whispered as he sighed in relief.

"Why'd you want to know?" I asked. He dropped his stare to the floor and shifted uncomfortably.

"Well you had mentioned your parents earlier so I thought you might have remembered something else," he replied unsteadily. I couldn't shake the feeling that maybe he was lying to me, but he never lied once in the past.

"Oh, no not really. That whole night is sill a mystery to me…I guess I was just really lucky that you happened to be passing by or I would have been fried." Muarim told me the story a million times over and I didn't ask for it to be repeated. He said he saw my mother in a panic outside of the burning house because I was still inside and by the time he rescued me she had disappeared. I never really questioned it, nor was I going to.

For whatever reason Muarim seemed relieved that I couldn't remember much. It bugged me a little but I decided now was not a good time to press it. After all I was exhausted and I had enough trouble focusing. I let out a loud yawn and rested my head on his shoulder. He chuckled lightly.

"Tired?" he asked.

"Just a little…" I responded with another yawn.

"Why don't you rest? You need to build your strength back up," he suggested. I tiredly nodded my head. Muarim closed his eyes and dissolved out of his human form. He walked silently behind me and laid down with his head resting on his paws. I scooted myself backwards so I was closer to him and rested my head on his side like I so often did. My eyes slid closed and I plunged into unconsciousness.

Several hours later the echoing sound of shouting rang through my ears. I hesitantly opened my eyes to see Muarim still fast asleep. The shouting didn't sound too far away at all. I picked myself up off the floor shakily in curiosity. My legs quaked as I stood up and my knees threatened to buckle but I forced myself to stand. I walked steadily to the flaps of the tent so I didn't risk falling and waking Muarim up.

As I exited the tent the yelling became clearer to the point where I could make it out.

"There's no point in even going back, he's probably nothing but a corpse by now." I took a few more paces forward.

"And who's fault is that? You were the one who knew this WHOLE time and never once opened your mouth!" shouted an outraged voice.

"So what? I'm not a babysitter! What is he to me anyway? Why should I care if he dies?" snapped another voice. I silently walked a little closer until I could see two figures. One was wearing all black making it too difficult to see any facial features in the dead of the night. The other was in green clutching something behind his back. I knew the figure in green had to be Sothe.

"Are you really that selfish? You were really that willing to let someone just throw their life away? Ugh, you make me sick! Don't you have a heart?" Sothe yelled back. I swallowed deeply as I realized they were talking about me. I wasn't sure if I should step in or not. For the time being I hid myself behind a pine tree and watched the scene play out.

It was silent for a few moments until Sothe spoke up again. "This is why nobody likes being around you," said Sothe coldly.

"I prefer not to get close to people, especially during a war. Because lets face it, people die. The closer you get to other soldiers the weaker you are on the battle field," argued the other figure.

"What about Ike?" asked Sothe.

"That's…that's different. I knew him well before the war. You chose to get close to that mage and if you're grieving that's not my problem." Sothe's face grew red as he curled his hand into a fist.

"I didn't _choose_ to be his friend…it's more like he chose me," Sothe began. I giggled under my breath. Then, I noticed he bit his lower lip to stop it from trembling. "And I'm not asking for sympathy…. I'm asking you take some responsibility for all this because of you…because of you…Tormod is…HE'S GONE!" he screamed. My stomach sank and my jaw dropped instantly. Sothe thought I was dead. He didn't know…he must not have been there when Reyson sang the galdr of rebirth.

"You act like I murdered him! I get it that your upset but why don't you take it out on someone else?" Sothe squeezed the item behind his back tighter.

"You…you bastard, you just don't get it, do you? You _knew_ this whole time…AND DID ABSOLUTLEY NOTHING!" Suddenly Sothe brought forward the object he was hiding behind his back. It was a silver dagger. He drew it above his head. I pushed myself away from the tree I was hiding behind. I forced my shaking legs to run. My heart rate accelerated and I nearly lost my balance as I sprinted for Sothe.

I could barely breathe as I pushed my trembling legs forward. _Faster….faster…_I thought to myself "SOTHE, STOP!" I screamed. I came up behind him with his knife in the air and crashed into his back like thunder. We both fell to the ground and his knife slid across the floor. He let out a loud grunt as I rolled myself off of his back. I could barely breathe but I attempted to speak, "I…told you…I'd see you later." His eyes widened and his jaw dropped. He rubbed his eyes then blinked a few times.

"T-Tormod….?" He asked breathlessly. I continued to pant like a dog while laying flat on my back.

"The one and only," I replied with a smile. His face softened and he let out a sigh of relief.

"B-but how?" he said.

"I don't know where you've been this whole time, Sothe, but I'm guessing you missed the part when Reyson sang the galdr of rebirth?" I asked. "I owe that heron my life…".

"I left after you went unconsciousness. I didn't want to face Muarim…because I promised to keep you awake. But I decided to come back and make sure Soren got what he deserves and I was gonna until you…". So the other figure had been Soren. He took a few steps forward with his arms crossed over his chest.

"You were planning on murdering me this _whole_ time, weren't you? A petty thief like you never could have anyway," Soren snapped. Sothe narrowed his eyes and picked his dagger up off the ground.

"You wanna bet?" he shouted.

"Sothe calm down! You don't have a reason to kill him…I'm alive I'm right here, see?" I yelled. He froze where he stood and dropped his dagger.

"Consider yourself one lucky bastard," said Sothe. "And you…" he turned to face me. "I was so damn worried about you! Next time you want to do something reckless like that, why don't you let me know?"

"Yeah, I think I've learned my lesson," I replied. Sothe sat down next to me and let out a deep breathe.

"So now what?" he said. I looked at his face and smiled.

"Well, I kind of can't move. A little help?" I asked. He slung my arm over his shoulder and stood up.

"You're probably not supposed to be out and about. Come one let's get out of here," he said.

"Wait!" I began. I scanned the entire area and Sothe looked at me in confusion.

"What is it?"

"Where'd Soren go?" I asked. Sothe rolled his eyes.

"Who knows... he can rot in hell for all I care," he replied crudely.

"He really did try to warn me," I said. "If anyone's to blame for all this it's me." Sothe shook his head.

"No, you didn't tell us because you knew we'd stop you. Soren, on the other hand, didn't tell anyone because he's a pompous, know-it-all…" I waved my hand in objection.

"Alright buddy that's enough. But I do appreciate how passionate you are about your pal, Tormod," I teased. He scoffed and shrugged my arm off his shoulder. I crashed to the ground landing on my bottom. "Ah, Sothe you're as blockheaded as ever! I take it all back!" It didn't happen often, but I actually heard Sothe laugh. He squatted on the ground next to me and outstretched his arm.

"Need a hand?" he said. I playfully rolled my eyes and grabbed onto his hand. Once I was almost up Sothe let out a loud gasp and dropped my hand. I fell to the ground once more and rubbed my bottom.

"Ah come on this is getting old! My butt is getting sore…" I said. Sothe stared at me wide eyed with his mouth slightly agape.

"Tormod, when did you get a tattoo?" he nearly screamed. I raised one of my eyebrows and looked at him in bewilderment.

"Huh? What are you talking about?" I asked. He kneeled down next to me and grabbed my wrist, flipping it upside down so I could see.

"See? Right here on your wrist!" he yelled.

"I don't have a-WHAT IN TELLIUS IS THAT?" I screamed back in shock. On the underside of my wrist a black and red dragon spiraled up to my elbow. The dragon itself was black and the rest was outlined in red flames. Its mouth was wide open with its long tongue enunciated. It had black thorns on its back and seemingly sharp claws to add to the threatening effect.

"Uh…have you always had that?" he asked uncomfortably. I shook my head immediately.

"N-no! I've never even thought about getting one…I'm way too young! Where did it come from?" I replied nervously.

"Good question…you sure you didn't go out and get one?" he asked.

"What? No! Even if I did I think I would remember something like that!" I shouted. I outlined the tattoo with my index finger; it felt smooth but abnormally hot. I kept my finger there for a while to see if it would heat up. "Ouch!" I hissed.

"What's wrong?" he asked. The sting on my finger felt agonizingly familiar.

"The tattoo…it's hot! Like REALLY hot! It almost feels like…" I trailed off deep in thought.

"You don't think…" he whispered. He reached out for my wrist and clutched it with his hand. He held it there for a while until I noticed a bead of sweat roll off his forehead. He bit his lip and squeezed his eyes shut. Then he released his grip hastily and shook his hand. "Damn," he mumbled under his breath.

"Maybe this has to do with the cursed tome I used." Sothe slowly nodded his head. "It sure feels like it," I added.

"But you said Reyson sang a galdr right?" Worry trickled into his voice.

"Yeah he did. I feel fine though, a little tired, but fine."

"I don't like this…" he said. I shrugged my shoulders and managed a smile.

"Well, hey! Now I got a souvenir!"


	9. Chapter 9: A Bad Omen

Chapter 9: A Bad Omen

"How can you be so calm about this? This..." Sothe lifted up my wrist. "is not normal." The truth was it didn't bother me too much. I was just happy to be alive, so what if I was scarred by the experience? At least it could remind me to never try anything like that again. I shrugged my shoulders.

"I don't know…I think it defines me!" I responded optimistically. Sothe sighed in exasperation.

"Don't you think maybe we should look into this? I feel like just ignoring it could be a bad idea," he suggested. I scratched my head and looked around.

"Hmm…maybe you're right…hey I got it! I bet Soren knows what it is!" Sothe nearly exploded. He stood up and crossed his arms.

"No way! Absolutely not! We are not asking that wise ass for any help," he yelled. My lips curved downwards as I rubbed my marked wrist.

"Well…he seemed to know a bit about the tome and I'm sure he's just bursting with more useful information! I mean…he was right the first time…". I shuddered at the memory of being so close to death and the feeling of burning from the inside out.

"I don't care how smart he is! He's nothing but a know-it-all and he always thinks he's right," said Sothe.

"That's because he usually is right. Come on, Sothe, he's our best bet," I pleaded. I knew he'd be difficult to convince since he did have every intention on killing him not too long. But, if anyone knew what the meaning of the mark was, it's him.

"I'm sorry but there's no way we are asking him for help. It's out of the question!" Sothe looked the other way towards base and frowned. "Oh no…" he began.

"What is it?" I asked. His eyes widened and his face grew white.

"Ike and Soren are close right?" he asked nervously. I stared at him in bewilderment.

"Um, yeah why?" Sothe turned to face me.

"I think...I think I might have screwed up…really bad," he said worriedly. I would have stood up if I had the strength to but instead I stayed still, with the blood beginning to pump faster through my veins.

"What do you mean?" I questioned. He swore under his breath and curled both of his hands into hard fists.

"If Soren and Ike are close friends then there's no doubt Soren is going to tell Ike about what happened…and I'll get thrown out of this army," he mumbled bleakly. I drew in a breath and opened my eyes a little wider.

"What? No! I'll die before that happens! We just need to explain things to Ike…or better yet you should just apologize before we even have to do that!" I shouted.

"Apologize? I can't! What would I say 'sorry I tried to kill you, hope you're not mad'? Even if I was willing to do that, it's too late…that's probably where he ran off to before! Ugh, what was I thinking?" he moaned. I bit my lip and tried to think of something positive to say, but there weren't many pluses about the situation. Sothe was right, Soren could easily tell Ike and then that would be it. But maybe Soren wasn't like that…maybe he'd let it go.

"Maybe Soren's not as terrible as you think he is…he could opt to keep his mouth shut, I mean you never know," I suggested. Sothe sighed frustratingly.

"I guess if he did that then I'd consider apologizing…maybe," he said apprehensively.

"He could have just left because he didn't want to deal with you. He's probably exhausted…it is pretty late. I guess using your brain that much is tiring. Yeah…he's probably just working on some kind of brilliant strategy for the next battle. No worries!" I managed a smile and a weak laugh.

"I'll never understand your way of thinking," said Sothe with a timid grin.

"Good because you don't have to! Just leave all the positive thinking to your pal, Tormod," I said cheerfully. Sothe playfully rolled his eyes. Suddenly a cool gust of air tickled my cheeks. I shivered as the cold breeze nipped at my skin.

"Cold?" said Sothe. I breathed warm air into my hands and then rubbed my arms with them.

"Freezing," I replied.

"Shoot you're probably still half dead, aren't you?" he said. I stuck my tongue out at him and folded my arms.

"Hey! I'll have you know that I'm in fact very much alive!" Sothe knelt down beside me, slung my arm over his shoulder, and hoisted me up. "Don't drop me this time! I'm 'half dead' remember?"

"I thought you were 'very much alive'?" he asked. I stammered for a moment.

"W-well of course I'm alive! I wouldn't be talking to you right now if I wasn't!" I argued.

"So you won't mind if I drop you then?" he teased. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"You wouldn't…" I whispered. He smiled mischievously. Slowly, he began to shrug my arm off of his shoulder and I tumbled to the ground with a loud thud. I moaned audibly and rubbed my bottom, which absorbed most of the impact. "Ah for crying out loud! What did my butt ever do to you?" I complained. Sothe giggled and made his way over to where he dropped me. I casually stuck my leg out so it was in his path. He began to offer his hand but before he could completely stretch it out he fell to the ground face first. "Haha! Didn't see that one coming did ya?" I shouted as I burst into laughter.

Sothe wiped the dirt off his face and rose to his knees. "Oh, you are so dead!" he threatened. With in the blink of an eye he pounced on me with his fist extended readily in the air. I grabbed his wrist forcefully before he brought it down.

"No fair, I'm half dead!" I screamed as my arm shook from holding his arm back.

"So you admit it?" he joked. I let out a small laugh.

"Yeah you got me! Actually I lied I'm completely dead…BOO!" I rolled out of the way before Sothe could get a hold of me again.

"What's this? You're moving! You didn't even need my help," he replied.

"It's called self defense!" I looked over to Sothe whose lips were curving upwards deviously. Before I could move he pounced on me again. He wrapped his arms around my head and put me into a death lock position. I let out a grunt and tried to squirm away.

"Okay okay! You win! You're better than me and all that good stuff! Now let go!" I said. Sothe released his grip and fell to his knees in hysterics.

"It's about time!" he replied. My laughter chimed in with his and I wrapped my arms around my stomach. I let myself fall onto my back and rested my arms behind my head. Sothe did the same and I tilted my head up towards the night sky.

A few stars twinkled overhead and the crescent moon shined brilliantly at the same time. I breathed in a puff of chilling air and let my tired muscles relax. It was silent for a little while. The only sounds I could hear were the crackling of flames from the fires at base and the howling of the wind.

Suddenly Sothe's voice broke the almost silence, "Hey, Tormod?" he asked.

"Yeah?" I said. He shifted uncomfortably and never once peeled his eyes away from the night sky.

"What was it like…you know after you used the tome," he replied awkwardly. I kept my gaze upwards as well and counted every individual star. I stopped when I reached around 20 and answered Sothe in the best way I could.

"It was like a nightmare that I couldn't wake up from. I don't even know how I lasted so long before Reyson came. I think I was so scared of dying that I was able to postpone it…if that makes any sense at all," I managed. Sothe hesitantly nodded his head. "You wanna know something weird?" Sothe flickered his eyes to me and then back to the sky.

"Sure," he replied.

"There was actually a moment where I really thought I was dead." Sothe turned his head and looked at me in fear. "It was weird…I couldn't feel my body at all but I was still conscious and that's when all these flashbacks started," I said.

"Flashbacks?" he asked in curiosity. I nodded my head assuredly. I chuckled under my breath.

"They were all of me and you…when I used to beg you to be my friend." Sothe grinned.

"Haha yeah…you were pretty persistent. I thought you were crazy," he reminisced.

I laughed softly at my first memories of Sothe. I always had this gut feeling we'd make good friends and I was happy to know that my instincts were correct.

"Oh and for the record…I'm really glad you're alive," he said uneasily.

"Me too...me too," I whispered almost silently.

….

The next morning I gingerly wrapped a white bandage around my wrist to prevent Muarim from seeing the mark. I didn't want to give him another thing to worry about so I decided it was best if he just didn't know.

My muscles still ached a little bit and my head throbbed but it all felt like nothing compared to the pain I had previously felt. Standing up and walking was no longer a problem. I could feel myself slowly building my strength back up and I began to feel more like myself.

The sun had begun to rise and I promised Sothe I'd meet him outside his tent around now. We agreed that we would confront Soren and try to find out as much as we possibly could about the mark on my wrist. I had hoped to be out before Muarim woke up but I had no such luck. I had one foot outside the tent when I heard him call for me.

"Little one, where are you off to so early?" he asked. I didn't even notice before that he had shifted from his beast to human form. I supposed my mind was elsewhere at the time. I stammered for a few moments as I pondered what to say.

"Oh, hey Muarim! I was just about to go wake up Sothe…he wasn't here last night," I said. It wasn't a complete lie, I was going to see Sothe, but not for that reason. I turned around and stepped back inside.

"Ah yes…he fled after you went unconscious, I was worried about him. I'm sure he's heard the news by now, but you should go see him. He was very…upset." I shuddered at his last sentence as I thought of how Sothe nearly killed Soren last night. If I hadn't been there…I didn't even want to think about it. But on the brighter side of things, I'd be able to easily slip out without Muarim questioning me, or at least that's what I thought.

"Yeah…I figured as much. That's why I'm going to wake him up bright and early! I'll be back!" I said as I started to make my way outside.

"Wait!" he objected. I paused and bit my lip nervously. _Oh come on…_I thought to myself. "What is that on your wrist? A bandage?" he asked as he approached me. My stomach dropped and I could feel my face get a little flushed. I didn't think he'd ask about the bandage, but I thought wrong.

"Hm? Oh, this? Uh well…ha…ya see…last night I wanted to get some air…so I went outside for a little while but I was a bit unsteady on my feet…and it was too dark to tell but…I fell over and scraped my arm on something. But I'm all right! It was just a little cut and I patched it up real quick," I lied. I had a bad feeling the lie sounded too fake. I should have had an excuse already prepared, but it was too late. I prayed Muarim would buy it.

"You went out last night? Here, let me see it…we should go to Rhys just to stay safe so it doesn't get infected or…"

"Muarim. I don't need to see Rhys, I'm fine. It's just a little scratch," I argued. He reached out for my wrist but I reflexively tore it away so he wouldn't feel the difference in temperature.

"If you don't want to go to Rhys that's fine…at least let me see it. I just want to be sure it's not…"

"Muarim! I said I'm fine, okay? If it'll make you feel better I'll go see Rhys after I talk to Sothe," I suggested. He sighed in defeat.

"Very well. I trust that you'll actually do that," he muttered. I felt a guilty feeling in the pit of my stomach. I hated to lie to Muarim but I had to. He dropped his gaze to the floor and frowned.

"Uh yeah…I'm gonna go talk to Sothe now…I'll uh see you around I guess," I mumbled halfheartedly. I quickly turned around and left without another word. I didn't want to hear him talk or see his facial expressions. I felt like I was hurting him, but what choice did I have?

Goose bumps grew on the surface of my skin as I came into contact with the cool air. The sky was painted pink and orange and the sun slowly rose. I was pleased that there appeared to be no snow in the forecast but it was still chilly regardless. Some excess snow remained on the ground. My boots left several prints behind as I trudged through it.

Sothe was already waiting outside his tent when I finally arrived. "Hey sorry I'm late, Muarim held me up," I apologized.

"Is he suspicious?" he asked as his eyes flickered to my bandaged wrist.

"A little...but we're good for now." Sothe nodded his head then he turned his body to face the west.

"I saw Soren a little while ago. He's went that way…reading a book or something," he said with some bitterness in his voice. I knew he wasn't happy about asking for his help but there was no other person who knew quite as much about everything than Soren.

"Perfect," I replied. Sothe led the way through a clearing of trees and brush where he had seen Soren. I was a bit perplexed as to why he would go so far away from base just to read a book. He could read anywhere, why did it have to be in such a remote area? He always struck me as odd, but I guess it was due to the fact that I didn't know much about him.

Sitting under a pine tree with a book in his lap, was a dark figure. As we got closer it became more obvious that it was Soren. He had his face buried in the pages and he leaned his back against the trunk of the tree. I took a few confident steps forward and Sothe apprehensively followed behind me. I cleared my throat to get his attention. Soren didn't react; instead he flipped the page of his book and scanned it up and down. I guessed he was reading a pretty gripping story so I cleared my throat again a little louder this time. He kept his face glued to the book and showed no acknowledgment of me.

"For crying out loud!" said Sothe frustratingly. Soren continued to read but finally opened his mouth to talk.

"Let me guess, another assassination attempt?" he said bitterly. Sothe narrowed his eyes and turned red.

"No, but that can be arranged," he replied sharply. I shot him a disapproving glare and then approached Soren who still hadn't taken his eyes off of his book.

"Morning Soren! This is a cool spot you found," I said. He flipped another page and remained silent. "What are you reading? Must be good." I attempted to fill the stillness but the mage kept his mouth shut. "That good, huh? You'll have to pass it off to me when you're done." He wasn't impressed at all by my friendliness.

"What do you two want?" he asked dryly. He still hadn't lifted his head up.

"Hey, you know it's rude not to look at people when you talk to them," Sothe snapped. Soren closed his book with one hand and looked scornfully at Sothe.

"Excuse me?" he said.

"You heard me."

"I'm sorry I upset you, I'll be more considerate next time," the mage replied sarcastically. Before Sothe could open his mouth I nudged him on the side.

"Anyway…" I announced loudly. "About last night…it was all a HUGE misunderstanding. Ya see…Sothe thought I was dead…and he can be a hot head at times and…" Soren stood up and slid his book under his arm.

"Yes, I figured as much. After you came barreling in, arguing at that point seemed useless so I left," he said simply. The corners of my lips stretched into a smile.

"You mean you didn't tell anyone about…"

"No, like you said it was all a huge misunderstanding." I wanted to jump up and down and I'm sure Sothe did too. I could have hugged Soren, but I didn't want to creep him out. I sighed in relief and relaxed my muscles that were tensing up.

"Oh wow that's great! I'm so glad you understand! See, Sothe? He's not so bad! I knew we could trust him," I replied cheerfully. Sothe rolled his eyes and decided to stay silent. Suddenly, Soren began to walk back towards base. "Hey! Hold on a second!" I shouted. Soren stopped in his tracks. "I need your help," I proposed.

He turned around and walked back towards me. "Help with what?" he asked. I didn't know how to put it into comprehendible words so I carefully unraveled the bandages around my wrist and showed him.

Soren's eyes grew wide and he took one shaky step backwards. His mouth was slightly a gape and he drew in a sharp breath. His complexion was even paler than usual. Soren's reaction tugged at the strings of my stomach. "I see," was all he managed to say.

"Do you…do you know what it means?" I asked nervously. He studied the mark for a few seconds without so much as a breath. Sothe stiffened at my side and looked fretfully at Soren.

"I've seen this crest before in a book I read long ago," he said. I swallowed deeply and parted my lips.

"What kind of book was it?" I asked tensely.

"Demonology," he replied. It felt like my stomach dropped a hundred feet. I bit the side of my lip harshly.

"What? You're going to have to give us more than that!" roared Sothe.

"I had picked the book up out of mild interest. It mostly told tales of dark Gods…but I do recall seeing that dragon somewhere in the text," he began. "I believe having the crest branded on flesh was said to be a bad omen amongst beorc. I don't remember much else though." I furrowed my eyebrows together and cocked my head to the side.

"A bad omen?" I asked. I looked at the "crest" on my wrist then back at Soren. "So I'm just a bad luck magnet? That doesn't sound so good."

"If I still have the book I will give it you," he offered. I nodded my head.

"Hold on a second. You just expect us to believe your superstitions? How do we know your telling the truth? This sounds a little sketchy to me," said Sothe.

Soren turned around in preparation to walk away. "Whether you choose to believe it or not is your decision. I could care less, but don't kill the messenger." With that, he disappeared out of the clearing and it once again it was just me and Sothe and another problem.


	10. Chapter 10: Turn a Blind Eye

Chapter 10: Turn a Blind Eye

It was amazing how things could go from bad to worse in only a couple of hours. The other night I was waiting at deaths door…. I thought it was over but somehow I survived. Something out there didn't want me to die, at least not then. Then once that problem had resolved and I felt more like my self, another arose. Or maybe it was all still the same problem and it was never truly solved…well either way I was labeled bad luck from a crest on my wrist. However, I wasn't entirely sure I was ready to believe such a superstitious thing.

"I don't buy it," muttered Sothe. We stood in a patch of woods just outside base. Pine trees canopied over us with white clumps of snow hanging off the branches.

"I don't know…. he wasn't lying I could just tell," I replied. There was something that seemed genuine about what Soren said. What reasons would he have for lying anyway? He didn't seem like the type of person to do something like that out of spite. There was also the crucial fact that the last time he hinted danger…he was right on. I knew I couldn't take him lightly.

"You're right he wasn't lying. I'm sure he's read a book on just about every subject there possibly is but…." He paused for a moment and pondered something.

"But…"

"BUT think about it like this…doesn't this strike you as just a little irrational?" he asked. I let out a long breath.

"Well yeah but nothing in this world is rational," I responded truthfully. Nothing ever seemed logical anymore, especially after what happened. If logic were applied to anything I wouldn't have been talking to Sothe. I wouldn't have even made it halfway through the night.

"Point taken. But…hmm….hey did you ever used to believe that if you broke a mirror it would bring you bad luck?" he asked. I raised an eyebrow in confusion, not entirely sure what he was getting at. But I did use to believe in silly things like that when I was younger, more so than I would now. In fact I did recall actually breaking a mirror once by accident.

"Well actually one time…" Sothe clearly didn't want to listen to my story because he almost immediately interrupted me.

"Okay, good. You were probably a lot younger when it happened, right?" he asked. I had been very young at the time. I didn't remember it very clearly but it was one of the first times Muarim and I had broken in to a noble's home and freed laguz slaves.

"Yeah! When we first started the Laguz Emancipation Army…" Sothe interrupted my story again, still not interested in it.

"Okay. You probably were scared you'd flock bad luck, right?" Sothe questioned. I still didn't understand the point of this but I immediately nodded my head, I had been terrified.

"Oh yeah, you bet I was scared! Every time I fell or scraped my knee I'd blame it on the mirror. Oh and this one time…"

"Exactly as I thought. Tell me…if you broke a mirror right now would you even be half as scared?" he asked.

"Well, no not at all. It's just an old superstition that you believe in as a kid," I answered honestly. Sothe folded his arms over his chest and turned towards the direction of base.

"So what makes breaking a mirror any different than what Soren just said? They are exactly the same. If you believe you have bad luck it makes you paranoid. If you choose not to believe in something…then what is there to worry about?" he philosophized. Sothe had a very good point. If I chose to believe that the crest was a bad omen then surely bad things would happen, but if I chose not to believe it then life goes on. It made perfect sense.

"So if I believe it, I'm screwed and if I don't believe it then there's no worries?" I asked to make sure I had everything right.

"Exactly. I say for now we turn a blind eye to this and see how everything plays out." I supposed it wasn't a horrible idea. There wasn't much we could do about it anyway. It was worth a shot.

"All right..." I said apprehensively.

…

Back at base everyone made preparations to march even further through Daein. After the fall of Tor Garen Crimea seemed to slowly creak to life once more. As we trekked through the snow, chills bit at our skin. My boots began to dampen, just another reason why I couldn't stand the cold. Most of the army marched together deeper into heart of Daien until we all came to an abrupt halt.

The hawk, Janaff turned to Ike. "So, General…there looks to be a lot of enemy soldiers ahead. Mostly Daein but there are some crows from Kilvas as well," he said.

"More than our last fight?" asked Ike. Janaff slowly nodded his head.

"Yeah, there's a lot, but the most troubling thing is that King Kilvas is with them." King Kilvas was on the battlefield? I felt my stomach churn at the thought. I could tell Muarim, who was at my side, was uneasy as well.

"The crow king himself is cooperating with Daein?" said Ike in bewilderment. Janaff tensely looked towards the Daein army then back at Ike.

"Yep. And compared to the other crows, the king is in a class by himself." I made a mental note to stay out of his range. Janaff cleared his throat. "Obviously, he's no match for our king, but anyway, you should move carefully," he added proudly.

"An entire unit under the command of King Kilvas? I think that bodes ill for us," Ike muttered restlessly. Soren sped up so he stood at Ike's side.

"The outcome of the battle hinges on how we deal with them," he said. Ike sighed and ran a hand through his hair. The red haired paladin saw Ike's uneasiness and casually approached him.

"Kilvas soldiers, hm?" she began. Titania looked towards Janaff who was scanning the perimeter. "As fellow bird tribe laguz, what can you tell us about them?" she asked inquisitively. Janaff narrowed his eyes and scoffed in disgust.

"Please don't lump us together with those carrion birds," said the hawk in disdain. Ulki, the hawk king's ears, moved towards his companion.

"We're not partial…to the crows," said Ulki. Ike didn't seem to be in the mood for the usual "I'm not like those laguz, you beorc know nothing" rant.

"As you know, we are outmanned by the Daein troops. Is there any way to get the ravens to withdraw? That would be a tremendous help," he emphasized.

Janaff moaned uncomfortably and rolled his eyes. "Well…I _suppose_ I could go meet with King Kilvas…if I had to. I don't think that my speaking to him is going to make a difference, though." Ulki stepped towards Ike and gave a disapproving grunt.

"If you like, we will try…but don't expect anything to come out of it," Ulki advised. Then, Reyson who had been mostly quiet spoke out.

"No matter the circumstance, I will never again speak to a crow," he swore bitterly. I couldn't help but to think that all this bickering was wasting time that we could be using to attack or strategize. Soren spoke up and read my mind.

"No matter what we decide, sitting here like this is giving the enemy more time to prepare," said Soren. I couldn't have agreed more, it was like he took the words out of my head. We already wasted enough time and I was ready to fight. Prior to the battle Muarim had asked me…no _begged_ me not to fight. Sincerely, I felt fine and more than well enough to fight. Muarim seemed to worry about me more than usual after the incident. It was starting to get out of hand. I knew he wouldn't let me out of his sight at all during the battle and I wasn't looking forward to it.

"You're right. Come on, let's get moving!" shouted Ike as he rallied all of the troops into a battle formation. Muarim had refused to be put anywhere that wasn't near me. Ike understood and didn't fight it, although I wished he did. Sothe was to the left of me with a knife readied in his hand. Suddenly, I could hear a roar of battle cries coming from the Daein soldiers.

"It appears the enemy has spotted us," said Nasir. Ike put a hand on his scabbard and clutched the hilt of his sword.

"Well, a group this large is hard to miss," Ike replied.

"How will you proceed?" he asked. Ike had that determined look on his face that he always wore whenever he made up his mind.

"No tricks. Nothing fancy. We'll hit them from the front—fast and hard," he stated boldly. Nasir seemed unimpressed.

"I'm sure you're already aware of this, but if you don't do something about Kilvas, you're at a disadvantage," he cautioned. Ike pulled his sword out of his scabbard slowly.

"Yes, I've heard about the ravens…but even so, it's not as if we can turn tail and run." Nasir was silent for a moment. He looked like he was thinking hard about something.

"Now that I think on it, King Kilvas and Prince Reyson used to be close friends. Did you ask him to speak to the king?" said Nasir. Ike chuckled darkly under his breath.

"He was most empathetic in his refusal. It seems that Naesala was responsible for Reyson's capture at the hands of Duke Tanas. I can't really blame him."

"And the hawks? They too, are of the bird tribes. Surely some connection can be found there," said Nasir. Ike sighed in frustration.

"They…weren't excited about the suggestion," said Ike. Nasir took a few steps closer to the commander and looked him in the eye.

"You could command them to do it," he suggested. There was something about the way he said those words that I didn't like. Ike was the commander but he would never force anyone into anything.

"There's an antagonism between the tribes that we don't understand. I'd rather not force the issue. Trying to coerce them into it would be…unfair. I will let them do as they please," he countered. I let out a breath of relief. Everyone knew they put their faith in the right guy. Ike always knew what was right. Nasir had a wry smile.

"That is so very like you. However, giving orders that are unpopular is often necessary when one is in command and…" Nasir's stubbornness was starting to get to me and especially Ike. After all, Ike was the commander, he made the decisions and we could always trust that it was the right choice. I hated to see anyone question his authority.

"Maybe so. But I can only do things the best I know how. My own may. Come, it's time to go!" he shouted. Nasir left without another word and everyone prepared for battle. I held an elfire tome in my hand and marked a page with a spell on it. Muarim had already been shifted for some time now. He rubbed against my side comfortingly as if to say "be careful".

I opened my mouth to tell Sothe to stay safe but as I turned my head I noticed he had already bolted. It wasn't too much of a surprise he always did say "thieves are loners" so I never really interfered.

The sound of metal clashing and soldiers shouting woke me from my trance. I moved out with Muarim following me like a shadow. I heard the noises of footfalls and heavy breathing so I hastily opened my tome to the page I had marked. I closed my eyes and cleared my mind to concentrate my energy on the spell. I muttered a few words under my breath and screamed "Elfire!" at the top of my lungs. When I opened my eyes a myrmidon had fallen to the ground, cringing in pain.

Muarim growled fiercely so I turned to him to see what was wrong. Two archers equipped with laguz bows stood before him with their arrows raised at him. Before they could release an arrow Muarim pounced on them ferociously digging his claws into their necks. I slightly cringed but shook it off. He clearly didn't need my help so I continued on else where.

Suddenly the screech of a crow rang through my ears. I turned my head skyward to see a jet-black Kilvas crow diving towards me. My heart nearly popped out of my chest but before he reached the earth I safely rolled out of the way and opened my tome. A warm feeling bubbled in the palm of my hand as I lit a small flame. "You'll regret that!" I said. I raised my flamed palm in the air and used all my strength to cast a critical elfire spell. The crow disappeared in the flames and I brought down my hand.

Immediately after, a wave of tiredness hit me. I hunched over and put my head between my legs to catch my breath. My eyes had a heartbeat of their own and I found it difficult to focus. I knew then that I had over exerted myself but I had to keep fighting. I couldn't just take a break in the middle of a battle. Suddenly, it was like I was given all of my energy back. The tiredness disappeared and everything was sharper. Focusing was made possible when a blood-curdling scream tore through the air. My legs seemed to move on their own and I didn't even think about where I was heading or what I was doing. None of that mattered because I had recognized that voice…it was Sothe's.

My legs should have buckled but they didn't. I should have been puffing for air, but I wasn't. The scream seemed to echo through the whole battlefield. It was all I could hear and all I could think about. _Sothe, Sothe, Sothe, where are you?_ I thought to myself repeatedly. My sprinting ceased as I nearly crashed into a tall black figure with shiny blue hair and shimmering black wings.

"Well…well…well….what do we have here?" It took a few seconds to process that I had bumped into Naesala, king of Kilvas. He smiled mischievously at me. His dark eyes screamed a thirst for blood. I froze where I stood. My muscles were motionless. I held my breath and sealed my eyes shut. There wasn't anywhere to run now, it was over. Abruptly, I heard the screaming again, but this time it was much louder. I carefully opened one eye and slowly turned my head in the direction of the scream. That was when I saw him. That was when I understood what the monster in front of me was capable of.

For the moment, I forgot I was in the presence of King Kilvas. I sprinted swiftly to where Sothe was laying down. Reflexively, I cupped my hand over my mouth to muffle any screams. I fell to my knees and a feeling of nausea engulfed me. I couldn't look…I just couldn't. Sothe let out another shrill cry and I forced myself to look.

He held his hand tightly over his left eye. His other eye that wasn't covered was closed. A warm red liquid seeped between his fingers and stained his cheeks. He dug his other hand into the ground and bit his lip so hard it began to bleed.

"Sothe!" I yelled desperately.

"Who is this?" he asked weakly. I drew in a sharp breath and leaned closer towards him.

"It's me, Tormod! I don't know what happened but you're going to be okay. Come on, let's get out of here!" I suggested. Sothe moaned in exasperation and agony.

"No…get out…of here…" he mumbled. The blood from underneath his hand trickled to his mouth. He coughed and spit it up involuntarily.

"Sothe tell me what happened!" I roared. I put both my hands on his shoulders and shook him lightly. He never once removed his hand from his eye. Then it hit me. "Sothe…take your hand away from your face," I demanded. He shook his head instantaneously.

"I…I can't," he whimpered.

"Yes you can, just let me see," I replied. He shook his head violently.

"No! Just run, get out of here!" he shouted. I placed my hand on top of his that was shielding his eye. "STOP IT!" he cried.

"Move your hand or I'll move it for you!" I yelled. A lone tear slid down his cheek of his other eye. I gaped my mouth; Sothe almost never cried.

"I CAN'T!" he objected savagely. I hated to do it, but he left me no choice. I mumbled an apology and tore his blood stained hand away from his face.


	11. Chapter 11 Sightless

Chapter 11 Sightless

Sothe's hand trembled in mine. It was hot, wet, and sticky from the blood. Panic churned in the pit of my stomach as I lifted his hand away from his face. I gasped loud enough for the entire army to hear when I fixed my gaze on Sothe's uncovered eye. Hot red liquid flowed out of it like tears. The white of his eye was stained crimson. I couldn't even tell where his pupil was in all of the blood. "Sothe…who did this to you!" I screamed. He struggled to release his hand from my grip but was unable.

"Doesn't matter…just go," he muttered. I dropped his hand and he immediately pulled it back to his injured eye.

"It matters to me and stop telling me to leave because I won't! We're friends remember? I'm always here for you," I shouted back. My lower lip began to tremble. Another tear slid out of his unwounded eye.

"What use am I if I can't even see?" he cried.

"Stop it! Don't say things like that! Rhys can heal you…there's gotta be something we can do! So tell me right now who did this so I can kick their sorry…" Suddenly I could hear the flapping of wings resonate.

"That would be me." I turned around and nearly jumped out of my skin. King Kilvas himself stood before me and admitted to hurting Sothe. I didn't know what was going through my mind all I knew was that he was the one causing my friend pain and he was going to pay. I didn't care that he was in a league of his own, it didn't matter because now things were personal.

"You…WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?" I yelled. Naesala chuckled deviously to himself and smiled.

"Sorry…he was in the way," he said. I stood up and fiercely clutched my tome.

"You're not getting away with this…you mess with my friend you mess with me! Got it?" I shouted. My blood boiled and my heart raced from adrenaline.

"Fair enough. Come at me then," he said simply. A bead of sweat rolled off my forehead. My hands shook with anger as I hastily flipped the pages of my elfire tome. I rested my finger under the spell I was going to use and parted my chapped lips. Before I could mumble any words I saw something brown fly through my peripheral vision. Naesala turned his attention away from me and narrowed his eyes.

"You…" he said scornfully. I heard another set of wings flapping so I picked my head up out of my tome.

"King Kilvas! You egg-stealing snake!" shouted a familiar voice.

"One of Tibarn's flock, eh? You are his "eyes" if I'm not mistaken," Naesala replied. I recognized the seemingly young hawk as Janaff. I thanked the Goddess I wouldn't have to fight alone, although I was ready too.

"It's not enough that you sold the White Prince to humans? Now you're fighting against laguz?" reprimanded the hawk. He flew closer to Naesala. The raven king laughed sardonically.

"You hawks rescued Reyson, didn't you? So everything worked out in the end! What's the problem?" he replied insensitively. Janaff folded his arms and scrunched his face in disgust.

"I'd like you to repeat those words to the prince's face," Janaff countered. Naesala furrowed his brows and turned his head to the side.

"Reyson is here? HERE! WHY?" he screamed enquiringly Janaff rolled his eyes.

"He supports the Crimean army! The beorc leading this army helped him to escape to Serenes Forest," he replied in an obvious tone of voice. Naesala's eyes widened.

"Helped him? Are you saying a _human_ came to the aid of Reyson? A _laguz_?" he confirmed, still not believing what he was hearing.

"Yes! And he rescued Princess Leanne, too!" Janaff added. Suddenly Naesala's face softened and didn't appear quite as tough and heartless.

"Leanne…is alive?" he asked almost breathlessly. Janaff scoffed disdainfully.

"Don't play the fool! You know the life of the forest has returned. That was their power at work," he said. Naesala closed his eyes and exhaled deeply in relief.

"I see….that's how the forest…of course." The raven king ran a hand through his hair. His sudden change in mood was intriguing. I continued to watch their conversation from curiosity.

"Listen up, crow! You need to fly over there and talk to the prince, instead of fighting a couple of kids. If you don't do it, I'm gonna know that you really are the enemy and report that back to King Tibarn. Think it over!" Naesala was silent for a moment.

"Yes…hmmm…what to do," he whispered. Afterwards, he took wing elsewhere and left me in the dust. I was relieved that I wouldn't have to fight someone with such strength, but now that he was gone all I could think about was Sothe. He didn't move an inch from where he was before nor had he opened his mouth. I scurried to his side and kneeled next to him.

"All taken care of!" I said proudly, even though I didn't even have to fight. Sothe responded with a low moan. I had no idea where Rhys was but Sothe needed him badly. So, I did what I could on my own by untying the green band wrapped around my forehead. I carefully tied it vertically around his head so his wounded eye was shielded like an eye patch. It wasn't much, but it would have to do for now. "There! That should hold it for a little while, at least until I can find Rhys." Sothe didn't say anything, but I knew he was listening. "Sorry I'm no healer…I know…" I apologized. My amateur patchwork would have to do for now. I scanned the battlefield for any sign of Rhys. Suddenly a figure in a white robe came into view, things were finally starting to go my way.

I hoisted Sothe up and let him lean on me while I hurried to Rhys. I prayed that an enemy wouldn't attempt to attack since I was now vulnerable. "Dammit," mumbled Sothe in a voice that was thick with tears.

"What is it?" I asked. I scoped the area one more time to make sure an enemy soldier wasn't heading our way.

"Shouldn't have let my guard down," he muttered. I didn't know how to respond, there were so many things I wanted to ask but it would have to wait until we got to Rhys.

After walking a decent length with Sothe leaning all of his weight on me I began to feel its results. My shoulder throbbed and my back began to ache. Eventually, I broke down and lightly dropped Sothe to the ground. "When'd you get so heavy?" I asked breathlessly. He didn't respond again and I began to get worried. "Sothe?" I nudged him on his side and he didn't even stir. "Sothe?" I yelled nervously. I shook him from his shoulders but he still didn't acknowledge me. He must have passed out from the blood loss. His face was smeared red and so were his hands and lips. His face began to lose color more and more by the second. I couldn't stand to see my friend in such a state so I stood and waved my arms in the air wildly shouting "RHYS!" at the top of my lungs. I could see him off in the distance turning his head towards me; I waved again to reassure him that I needed his help. He instantly took off and was at my side after a few minutes.

"Oh my…what happened here?" the healer asked softly. I sat down next to Sothe and put his warm head on my lap.

"It was Naesala," I said coldly. Rhys readied his heal staff and kneeled next to Sothe. He studied his face that was drenched in blood. Then, he put his palm on top of the band I tied around his eye.

"Mind if I take this off?" he asked carefully. In truth, I did mind, what was under it was disturbing to me. But, Rhys was the healer and he could fix it…he had to. I hesitantly nodded my head. The healer began to slowly peal the band away from his eye making sure he was careful enough not to hurt him. I breathed a sigh of relief when Rhys had only revealed a closed eye underneath. His eyelid was bruised, however, with blood rushing down his cheek from the inside of his eye.

The healer lightly pressed his middle and index finger against Sothe's wrist. My heartbeat sped up. "Hmm…his heart is slowing down," he said. Then he moved his hand from Sothe's wrist back to his eye and pulled it open. The healer drew back a sharp breath. The eye was just as red as before with not a hint of white left in it. His pupil was still lost in all of the blood. I turned my head away for a moment. "Oh dear…" he muttered softly. There was something hopeless about the look on Rhys's face. My stomach dropped.

"Please…you have to help him…I…" my voice got lost in an awkward choking sound but somehow Rhys knew what I was trying to convey. He tightly gripped his healing staff and muttered a few words of the ancient language under his breath. The staff glowed with life and nearly blinded me with its light. I reflexively squinted my eyes and held my hand up to my face. When the light had disappeared Sothe's wounds slowly began to fade away. It was incredible.

"Amazing…" I said excitedly. I almost smiled when I saw my friend's face heal before my eyes. But, Rhys still seemed uneasy. He pulled out a roll of white medical tape and gently wrapped it around his eye. He remained completely silent.

"Thank you…" I said graciously. Rhys frowned and dropped his eyes to the ground. Something was wrong, I could tell.

"I'm sorry…" he whispered sorrowfully. He peeled open Sothe's eye and shook his head. My muscles stiffened and I felt like my heart stopped beating just for a second.

"Sorry? Sorry for what? You healed him…didn't you?" I asked anxiously. I held on tighter to Sothe's head that was resting on my lap.

"I…yes…his wounds are sealed but…" he began.

"But?" I raised my voice.

"But…he'll never see out of his left eye again…I'm so sorry, I did all I could." Sothe was blind in one eye, just as he had feared. I wanted to cry for him but I held it together. I was speechless. "Take him back to camp. You should be the one to tell him." I dreadfully nodded my head and began to pick up Sothe's limp body when I felt something soft rub up against me. It was Muarim in his beast form. I wasn't sure if he knew everything that was going on but he seemed like he wanted to help. He laid down so I could put Sothe on his back. After I safely fastened my friend Muarim looked at me with sympathy in his eyes. I didn't want to talk so I silently kept up with Muarim as he sprinted towards camp.

As we ran an enemy fighter clad in red approached us. He held an axe over his shoulder and snarled. I quickly disposed of him with an elfire spell while Muarim continued ahead with Sothe on his back. The whole way back I tried to come up with a way to tell Sothe. Well, he probably would already know without me telling him as soon as he woke up and opened his eyes. Then it occurred to me that he would wake up with a bandage over his blind eye, so he in fact wouldn't know right off the bat. He already seemed to expect the worst the last time he was conscious so I hoped it wouldn't come as too much of a shock.

Back at camp, we made our way to the medical tent, where I had been staying since the incident. Muarim gently laid down so I could pick Sothe up off his back. Across the tent I saw my cozy sleeping bag. A shiver went down my spine. I hadn't realized how cold I was until I was inside a tent. Instinctively, I went to go grab the sleeping bag and wrap it around myself. Before I grabbed it, I hesitated. Sothe needed it more, he was hurt after all, and so I pulled it over him to keep him warm, since the temperature seemed to drop by the second. Once I was sure Sothe was comfortable enough I sat cross legged by his side and stared at him intently in case he were to wake up.

Suddenly I felt a squeezing pressure on my shoulder. I turned around to see Muarim in his human form. "He's very lucky to have you as a friend," he said sincerely. My stomach felt like it was in knots. I couldn't help but to think maybe Sothe was unlucky to have me as a friend. What if him losing half of his eyesight was just my curse rubbing off on him? The thought made me want to hit myself over the head a thousand times. Maybe…just maybe this was my fault. "Little one, are you okay?" he asked gently. I didn't realize until Muarim spoke that my lip was trembling and my nose was running.  
"Huh? Oh…I'm okay," I replied half-heartedly. Muarim lightly rubbed me on my back. I wasn't sure why but it calmed me just a little. One thing about Muarim was that he always knew how to comfort me. I slowly tilted my back so I was leaning against his chest. He wrapped his arm around me tightly. A single tear outlined the contours of my nose and then slid down the rest of my cheek.

"Sothe will be okay…he is strong." My heart pounded thunderously. Muarim would never be able to understand what I was feeling. I could never tell him that this all could be potentially my fault.

Suddenly, Sothe's fingers began to twitch. I hopped closer towards him to see if he was waking up. Slowly, his golden brown eye fluttered open. "Sothe!" I exclaimed cheerfully. He moaned softly.

"Ugh...how long was I out for?" he asked tiredly.

"Two weeks" I replied nonchalantly. Sothe dropped his jaw and stared at me in utter shock.

"TWO WEEKS?" he shouted back. I tried to hold in my laughter but the lid popped off the jar.

"Haha nah probably about an hour," I responded truthfully. I nearly fell over laughing from Sothe's reaction. I clutched my stomach that was beginning to hurt from laughing so hard.

"And to think I expected you to make sense," he replied. "Well…at least I can see now." My laughter instantly stopped and my stomach did somersaults. My lips turned downward to a frown. He didn't know. "What? What's that look for?" he asked curiously. I could feel Muarim tense up behind me.

"Uh…well…ya see…" I began nervously.

"I'm taking these stupid bandages off," said Sothe as he hastily unraveled the medical tape. I swore under my breath and shouted in objection.

"Wait! Don't!" I yelled. By the time I spit the words out of my mouth he had already unraveled his bandage. I drew in a sharp breath and held it in. Sothe's blind eye was incredible looking. His pupil seemed to be in tact but his iris was silver.

"What the…I can't…I still can't see!" he said in frustration. I couldn't stop staring at his blind eye, it was unreal.

"Sothe…I need to tell you something." He glanced at me worriedly.

"What? Tell me! What's going on?" I dropped my gaze to the floor. I didn't want to say what I needed to but what choice was there?

"Rhys did everything he could but…he said you'll never be able to see out of your left eye again…" Sothe was silent. He was so quiet to the point where it was scaring me. I wanted to fill the silence but I didn't know what to say. Finally Sothe spoke.

"I guess I should start packing my things."


	12. Chapter 12 Just Being a Kid

Chapter 12: Just Being a Kid

My heartbeat faltered as I gaped my mouth in disbelief. I couldn't imagine going through the rest of the war without Sothe. He was my friend…he was _finally_ my friend, I couldn't just let that go. "No…no way. You're staying here…come on, are you listening to yourself?" I said. Sothe dropped his head down.

"I'm no good if I can only see out of one eye. Ike won't want me to fight and if I can't fight then what am I doing here?" he replied morosely. His words stung.

"Ike wouldn't do that! He needs all of us…so what if you have one blind eye? You can still see me, right?" I argued. Sothe slowly picked up his head and tried to focus on my face.

"Well…yeah," he admitted hesitantly. I put one hand over my left eye to simulate what Sothe could see. Everything was still there to the front of me and to the right of me. But, to the left was only darkness unless I turned my head around completely.

"Good. You can see enough to get by so Ike shouldn't have any objections to you fighting. So there's no reason for you to leave!" I said hopefully. Sothe didn't reply, instead he looked around the tent as if to test how well he could see. He seemed upset and I couldn't help but to feel completely responsible. I wanted to tell Sothe why it was all my fault but not with Muarim in the room. "Hey, Muarim? Could you get another blanket? It's freezing in here," I asked. He obediently nodded his head and left. I breathed a sigh of relief since I finally had the chance to tell Sothe what was really going on. "Sothe…I'm…I'm so sorry." He looked up at me in confusion.

"Huh? Sorry for what?" I hastily unraveled my bandages around my wrist to reveal the crest.

"For this," I began as I showed him my wrist. "I-I'ts all my fault…" I rested my forehead on my palm and silently whimpered.

"What? No! I don't blame any of this on you, it's my fault I let my guard down!" he objected.

"Sothe, we ignored it! We took it too lightly and look what happened! Dammit, it's not fair though…it's _my _curse it should have been me not you." Sothe shook his head.

"No…it's just a coincidence. I was careless, really, don't beat yourself up over this." Sothe had a point it could have been just coincidence but I didn't want to make the same mistake.

"What if it's not? What if I'm the reason you can only see out of one eye? Sothe…I don't know what to do!" A tear gently slid down my cheek. I couldn't stand the fact that I most likely caused Sothe to lose half of his sight. It wasn't fair, it was my curse…why was it affecting other people? I couldn't stop thinking that it should have been me.

"I'm not buying that 'it's a curse' crap, I refuse! You didn't do this to me, okay? And even if by some bizarre reason there really is a curse, I forgive you. If you weren't there when it happened…I probably would have died. You saved my life…I owe you everything. Besides…I have _two _eyes," he said. I picked my tear-stained face out of my hand and looked at my friend. His silver left eye shimmered and he forced a smile. It wasn't like Sothe to see past a bad situation; it made me feel like that maybe I was rubbing off on him.

"That's what friends are for," I said as I wiped the tears away from my face. I looked up at Sothe with hope glimmering in my eyes. "So…since you owe me everything…promise me you'll stay. I'll beg on my knees if I have to," I pleaded. Sothe lightly giggled and a grin spread across his face.

"Yeah…yeah I'll stay," he said. My face lit up and I almost burst with happiness. It was one less thing to worry about. I smirked vibrantly at my friend. I couldn't help but to tackle him with hugs.

"Really? Ya mean it! You're the best, Sothe!" I shouted jovially. Sothe chuckled lightly and smiled under my crushing grip.

"Okay…okay…I think you might squash all of my bones," he said with a grunt. I loosened my grip on him and hung my arm over his shoulder. It was good to have the old Sothe back, even though he was blind in one eye. Somehow I knew he would work past it. Just for the one moment I tried to let myself forget about the curse and just be a kid. A kid with the greatest friend he could ever ask for.

"Y'know…I really like your blind eye, it's all silver and sparkly!"

"It is?" he asked in bewilderment. I cheerfully nodded my head.

"Uh-huh! It's so elusive and it makes you look more threatening! No one is gonna mess with you!" Sothe playfully rolled his eyes and snickered.

"Haha yeah I'm sure because I have two different colored eyes people are going to be afraid of me," he said jokingly

"You'd be surprised! The eyes are the windows to the soul!" I said poetically. Sothe burst into laughter. "People will fall to their knees and tremble before you just begging for mercy!" My friend's eyes started to water from laughing so hard.

"I always thought you were insane," he managed in between laughs. I swiped a small dagger from his pocket and stood up. I swung it around wildly and rolled across the floor with stealth.

"But you won't give them any mercy! Because you're a lethal mercenary who can do all kinds of amazing things with a little knife!" I stabbed the air horizontally and vertically with Sothe's dagger. "Hyaaa! Hyaaaa!"

"Is that supposed to be me? I don't really look like that, do I?" I flashed him a menacing smile.

"This is _exactly_ what you look like!" I replied. Sothe shook his head and grabbed my elfire tome that was sitting close to where the medical supplies were stored.

"If that's what I look like, then this is what you look like!" He opened my tome and held it obnoxiously close to his face. "Blah blah blah….Fire!" he screamed. My lips curved downwards and I crossed my arms.

"Hey! That's an _elfire_ tome, and 'blah blah blah' is not a part of the ancient text! Let me show you how a master does it," I said confidently. I swapped Sothe's dagger for my tome and delicately flipped through the pages of it.

"Um, Tormod…you're not really going to cast a spell are you?" asked Sothe. I shook my head without looking up and continued reading through the text.

"No way! I'm just showing you how it's done," I replied simply without thinking.

"But wouldn't that require…"

Before he could finish his thought I cleared my head of every noise around me until it was complete silence. I muttered a few lines of ancient writing and screamed "Elfire!" like I had done so many times before. Suddenly the crackling of flames resonated and the smell of something burning tickled my nose. I opened my eyes to see Sothe in an uproar.

"Tormod! You set the tent on fire! What the hell!" he yelled. It took a moment to process, but he was right. The wooden limbs that held the tent up were the first to catch fire. I hastily grabbed a blanket off the floor and fanned the flames. Sothe did the same but it didn't seem to be doing any good. "This isn't working! Ugh…we are so screwed." Then an idea popped into my head. I uncovered a wind tome that I rarely used, since fire was my affinity.

"Aha! I'm a genius! I'll just use a wind spell to blow out the fire!" I boasted. Sothe watched me precariously as I cleared my mind once again to focus my energy on another spell. Gusts of winds traveled from every direction picking up the flames with it as it went. I groaned aggravatingly because my brilliant idea had utterly failed. If anything, it made matters ten times worse. It caused the fire to spread even more across the tent. Sothe brought his hand up to his face and sighed. "Sothe, this tent is a goner let's get out of here!" I yelled. My friend stood his ground with his arms crossed.

"We can't just leave…ugh…here at least grab Rhys's medical supplies so it doesn't burn up," he suggested. It was a nice thought but it was getting hotter by the second and difficult to breath. I covered my mouth with my hand and hesitantly nodded my head. It rained ashes as we swiftly scooped up whatever healing staves we could. Sothe held his gray scarf over his mouth so he wouldn't choke. Suddenly a plank of wood descended from the top of the tent and crashed only a few inches from Sothe. I swiftly pulled him by the collar of his neck to stop him from getting any closer. The fire sizzled on top of the plank, blocking us from reaching our exit. My eyes widened as I realized we were completely trapped.

"We now how have permission to freak out!" I said worriedly. Sothe grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me to the other side of the tent. He unsheathed one of his knives and sliced the tent open for us to step through. "Wow, Sothe! You're so resourceful!" I said. He held on tighter to my wrist and quickly stepped out of the burning medical tent with a few staves in his other hand. I followed close behind with a few more heal and mend staves. As soon as we were able to breath in fresh air we both fell to our hands and knees, gasping for air. I wiped the sweat that was forming on my forehead away with my hand. When I brought my hand back it was covered in thick ash. "Ah sheesh we're covered in soot!" Sothe did the same as me and wiped his face with his hand.

"That's the least of our problems! You set the tent on fire! Come on, we have to find some water before it spreads," he shouted. I lightly coughed in the cup of my hand and turned to face the burning tent. Clouds of smoke hovered over it. I picked myself up off the ground and sprinted with Sothe at my side. I didn't think or look where I was going all that was going through my mind was water. Suddenly, as I ran I crashed into something hard and fell to the ground. I instinctively rubbed the back of my head that burst with pain.

"Hey watch it!" I picked my head up too see Soren with a scorn written all over his face.

"You…" Sothe growled. I shifted so I stood on my knees then slowly brought myself to a standing position. I dusted some snow off that stained my crimson shorts.

"Oh hey there! Sorry about that! Kinda in a hurry to find some water," I replied rapidly. Soren stood up and folded his arms across his chest. He rolled his eyes and let out a disapproving puff of air. Then his eyes wandered to Sothe. He stared at him for a moment intriguingly and then looked away. I could only imagine that Soren was fazed by Sothe's left eye.

"I assume that," he pointed to a cloud of smoke traveling from the burning tent "is your doing." I chuckled nervously and scratched the back of my head.

"Well…it wasn't _all_ me." Sothe tightened his hands into fists and narrowed his eyes at me.

"What! Of course it was you!" said Sothe furiously. Soren shook his head in disdain and glared at us both.

"I don't care who did it! I saw some smoke before and I decided it would be best to check it out and make sure our base wasn't raided by enemy soldiers, but I should have known it was just you two acting like fools!" snapped Soren. I was immediately taken aback and pursed my lips into a thin straight line.

"Look we were just about to find some water to put out the fire and we even saved Rhys's staves that were inside," said Sothe. I moved to his side.

"Yeah! We could really use your help!" I said. Soren began walking towards the flaming tent.

"Just leave it to me," he said in an exasperated voice. I turned around to catch up with him. What was he planning on doing without any water? Sothe and I followed him to the ablaze medical tent. The flames that engulfed it crackled and popped. I couldn't even see the outline of the tent anymore; it was all a haze of red and orange. Soren slid an interesting tome out from underneath the side of his arm. I silently observed him as he barely parted his lips to mumble something I could hardly comprehend. He lifted his arm in the air like he was holding up something heavy and then brought it down forcefully. An icy breeze bit at my skin that was warm from the heat of the fire. Suddenly a frosty blanket of ice appeared and shielded the raging fire. As the ice came into contact with the fire it triggered a sizzling sound. In only a few seconds the flames had ceased to exist. The screen of smoke slowly dissipated into the atmosphere.

"THAT WAS SO COOL!" I shouted. Soren satisfyingly closed his tome and slid it underneath his arm. "What kind of tome is that?"

"A blizzard tome, it's very rare," the mage replied. I gaped my mouth and stared in disbelief. It was quite possibly the most impressive spell I had ever seen. It put out the fire like it was nothing.

"Amazing! Just amazing! Soren, we owe you one!" I said. He slowly shook his head and frowned.

"You don't owe me anything. However, you have some explaining to do to Rhys and any wounded soldier. The medical tent is just a pile of ash now," he replied. I uneasily bit my lip.

"I already told you, we gathered his staves! We did what we could," said Sothe aggravatingly.

"Well you can save the explaining for Rhys. If you'll excuse me…" he said as he carefully slid past us. Suddenly a feeling of guilt churned in my stomach. I prayed no one was seriously injured. But, the army would probably be marching further into Daien by the end of the day, so hopefully it wouldn't be too much of a hindrance.

"Well, I've really done it this time," I said. Sothe nodded his head in agreement.

"I always knew you were insane," he replied.


	13. Chapter 13 Student and the Master

Chapter 13: Student and the Master

The next few days consisted of helping Rhys with any little job he needed to take on. The guilt of burning down his specialized tent was slowly eating away at me. I had to make it up to him in whatever way I could. After apologizing deeply I asked if he needed any assistance. He enthusiastically accepted my offer. Although I did not know much about healing with a staff, Rhys had said he was determined to teach me since he could use the extra hand. He also had said that I would be easy to teach since I excelled in magic. Mist was still nothing more than a trainee healer, so one more apprentice wouldn't hurt him. Plus, it was always fun and exciting to learn something new.

We had to relocate the medical tent in a much smaller space, since we couldn't be without one. Rhys thanked me heartily for rescuing his staves but it truly was the least I could do at the moment. Since the fire, almost all of my time was spent cramped in an overcrowded tent with Rhys and a few wounded soldiers. I decided to give Mist a break since she seemed to be overexerting herself. I knew it meant more work for me but I couldn't have cared less, I had a debt to pay.

Inside the makeshift medical tent Rolf squirmed under the touch of his older brother Boyd who held him down. I slightly cringed at the sight of the archer's arm that was penetrated by a bloodied arrow. Rolf pressed his eyes shut and squealed in pain. "Don't do it Boyd! Please don't take it out! It hurts!" the archer cried. A few tears descended down his cheek. Boyd clasped the arrow that jutted out of his arm. "Don't touch it!"

Boyd bit the side of his lip and grunted in frustration. "I can't leave it there! You wanna walk around with an arrow sticking out of your arm? Rhys, tell him he's a cry baby and needs to toughen up!" said Boyd. Rolf began to sniffle and glanced worriedly at Rhys. The healer tried to force a comforting smile.

"Rolf…you're going to have to let one of us pull the arrow out or I can't heal you, okay?" said the healer soothingly. Rolf quietly whimpered and reluctantly nodded his head. Rhys turned to me and placed one of his delicate hands on my shoulder. "Tormod…I want you to do it." At first I wasn't sure if I had heard him right. I was an amateur and I couldn't believe he trusted me this much already. I stared at him in shock and blinked a few times.

"Huh? Me?" I asked in astonishment. Rhys confidently nodded his head.

"Of course, you'll never improve unless you practice." I swallowed deeply and prayed that I was ready to handle the given task.

"Well…all right." I made my way over to Rolf who quietly sobbed and looked to his older brother for comfort. Boyd tousled his lime green hair and patted him lightly on the back. Rhys walked a few paces until he was behind me looking over my shoulder.

"Now…I want you to tightly grab hold of the arrow and pull it straight out," Rhys instructed. My stomach did somersaults as I shakily gripped the arrow projecting out of Rolf's arm. Rolf hissed and cried out for his brother.

"Boyd…" he said nervously.

"It's okay peewee, hold my hand if you have to," his brother replied. As I clenched on to the arrow tighter Rolf searched for his brother's hand and squeezed the life out of it.

"I'll do a count down…if that makes it any better," I said.

"Yeah, that might help," replied Boyd. I took a deep breath and focused intently on swiftly pulling the arrow out of Rolf's arm. Rolf looked away and scrunched his face in anticipation of the pain.

"Okay, one…" I clenched the arrow tighter. "Two…" Rolf softly sobbed and clasped Boyd's hand for dear life. Rhys observed me attentively and readied a heal staff for me in his hand. I cleared my throat, "three." I yanked the arrow straight out forcefully in one clean motion. It was longer than I had expected and most of it was stained red. Rolf cried out piercingly in anguish. His brother steadied him while rubbing his back comfortingly. Tears gushed down his cheeks. His eyes became puffy and agitated. I hastily discarded the arrow to the ground while Rhys handed me a heal staff. "There! It's gone! I'm sure that wasn't pleasant but it's out now, so there's nothing to worry about," I assured.

"See, you're alive! Now stop with the tears I don't like seeing my little brother cry," said Boyd. Rolf gently rested his head on his brother's shoulders and sniffled back his tears. I grasped the heal staff with both of my hands and raised it slightly above my head. I chanted a few lines of the ancient language that I had memorized. Soon, the staff glowed to life. It radiated a blinding blue light that spread to Rolf's open wound. My hands trembled as I did so but I managed to stabilize them enough so the staff wouldn't fall. Shortly after, the archer's cowering and sobbing ceased. I brought the staff down and gently placed it on the floor. Rhys handed me some white medical tape. I unrolled a few strands and delicately wrapped it around Rolf's arm. I wiped any excess blood away with a cotton swab and before I knew it the job was done.

"Th-thankyou…" said Rolf weakly. I smiled comfortingly.

"No problem." I couldn't help but to feel a sense of accomplishment. Rolf slowly stood up and his brother held his shoulder for support. They walked out of the tent, teasing each other like they usually do. Once they were gone it was just my teacher and I. It had gotten late and unpleasantly cold.

"You did very well today," he said. He held a sincere face so I flashed a toothy grin.

"Thanks Rhys! Couldn't have done it without ya." Rhys turned around and searched for something in a pile of clutter. I heard the ripping of paper and noticed Rhys scribbling something. I took a few steps forward in curiosity to see what he was doing. The letters on the paper were of the ancient text. He handed me the paper and smiled.

"I want you to have this…I think you are ready. I understand carrying a heal staff on a battlefield is probably inconvenient for you…so I jotted down a few healing spells. They aren't as strong as they would be with a staff…but they will definitely come in handy as a mage." I unfolded the piece of paper and scanned the spells. They seemed quick and easy to perform from what I could tell.

"So I can just heal someone without a staff?" I asked in disbelief. Rhys nodded his head.

"Yes, that is correct. It's ideal for small scale injuries."

"That's incredible!" I exclaimed. Rhys lightly chuckled.

"Yes…it will be quite useful," he began. "Oh by the way, how is Sothe? Is he feeling well?" I still felt partially guilty for everything that happened to him, although it was a long shot that I actually was to blame.

"Yeah, he's really strong so I know he'll manage! Plus I'm always here to help him with anything, not that he'd ever ask for my help." Rhys listened closely and seemed to ponder something.

"That's very nice to hear. Might I ask what you're planning on doing after the war?" My smile faded off my face instantly. The end of the war…was it really within reach? As much as I wanted the dispute between Crimea and Daein to end I wasn't sure if I was ready to say good-bye to everyone. I didn't even want to think about saying farewell to Sothe. The thought nearly brought tears to my eyes. "I'm sorry…I shouldn't have asked it's really none of my business." I shook my head and dropped my stare to the ground.

"No…its just that I…" My thoughts wandered to the future. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," said Rhys calmingly.

"Do you really think after the war is over everyone will go their separate ways?" I picked my head up and stared attentively at Rhys. It was a question that had been on my mind for a while. The healer shifted uncomfortably.

"Well…we all live separate lives and have duties to fulfill outside of this army. Sometimes the hardest part of friendship is having to say goodbye." I chomped down on my lip as it started quivering. He was right…we all lived separate lives. Some perverse part of me almost didn't want the war to end for that reason. "You're thinking of Sothe, aren't you?" I gulped uncomfortably and tried not to think. "There is no reason to believe you won't meet again…if something is truly meant to be, it will work itself out." Rhys grinned at me and I forced a smile back.

"Yeah you're right…y'know you're a melting pot of good advice!" I said. He smirked and began to stand up.

"If I can ever help you with anything just let me know." As he stood up I nearly reached out for him. He slightly stumbled and leaned against a wooden chair to steady himself. His hands seemed to tremor and his complexion grew pale.

"Rhys? Are you feeling okay?" I asked worriedly. He nodded his head and ran his fingers through his hair. I picked myself up and stood next to him incase he needed me for support.

"Yes…I just have this unfortunate tendency to get a little sick here and there but I'm fine thank you…I felt a little lightheaded before," he said half-heartedly. I grabbed his arm and looked at him with concern.

"You don't look so good…maybe you should sit down," I suggested. I guided him to the chair he was previously leaning on and examined him. Despite his lack of a healthy glow he seemed overly exhausted. Dark black crescents formed underneath his eyes. "Can I get you some water or something?"

"I'm fine, thank you for the offer though. This happens a lot…I just need…" he began to stand up and walk across the room. He grabbed a rolled up towel and dipped it in a bowl of pure cool water. He ringed the towel free of any excess water that dripped from it.

"Hey! Let me do that!" I grabbed the icy wet towel from his feeble hands and dragged him back over to the chair. From what he tried to do, I assumed he often broke out into fevers. I held the towel gingerly to his forehead. "Fever, huh? You should take it easy for a while and get some rest." Rhys closed his eyes and sighed sorrowfully.

"Tormod…do you think I'm a burden?" he asked out of the blue.

"Huh? No, of course not! You're the greatest healer there is! We're all lucky to have you." He limply dropped his head to the side. He looked as if he hadn't slept in days on top of his burning fever.

"Being a healer makes it difficult to defend myself on the battlefield. I hate to see others go out of their way to protect me…plus I'm always falling ill." I immediately shook my head. I was very thankful for him and so was everyone else. Suddenly an idea popped into my head.

"Hey I got it! Remember when you told me I'd pick up healing easily since I'm a mage? Well I bet you'd pick up magic effortlessly since you're such a great healer!" I exclaimed. He slowly forced his eyes open and looked at me with hope.

"You think I could do something like that?" he asked unsurely. I grinned brightly.

"Absolutely! Something like light magic would suit you…you'll definitely pick up on it! They're pretty much used the same way except one is for helping people and the other is for hurting people." Rhys pricked up his ears and seemed to listen to me very carefully. I could tell he was considering my idea.

"Hmmm….that might actually work. Thank you, Tormod! I'll only agree to it if you are the one who teaches me though," he said. I widened my eyes. The opportunity to share my knowledge of magic excited me.

"Well of course! I'm a pretty dangerous mage, so you've come to the right person."

I had never imagined that through the war I would acquire the ability to heal, nor had I dreamt that I would teach a healer how to use magic. As terrible as war was, I seemed to make the best of it.

….

My instincts were right; Rhys easily picked up on magic. Of course, he couldn't have done it without his mentor. Any free moment I had I took that time to teach Rhys everything I knew about casting a spell. Within a few weeks I had turned him into a lethal healer. I took great pride in his newfound abilities; it felt great to help him overcome his frailness. I even began to notice through the duration of the war that he became less and less sickly to the point where he rarely fell ill. The feeling of satisfaction stayed with me for a very long time. Simultaneously, there was still an uneasy feeling in my chest. It was hard to believe it was true… but the end of the war was drawing near.


	14. Chapter 14 Struck

Chapter 14: Struck

As the war continued the battles became fiercer and fiercer. The battle at Fort Pinell was the severest to date. Through the horrific clash of weapons and battle cries, the Crimean army emerged bloodied and exhausted, yet victorious nonetheless. Each battle prior to that one all seemed to blur together. It was difficult to keep up with the current events and all one could do was prepare themselves to fight at any given moment. It was best not to ask questions and just do what you are told. As an army, we all agreed to follow General Ike's orders to the death no matter what they were. When Ike had decided to face off against the Black Knight alone his closer friends tried desperately to talk him out of it. I could have laughed at that moment because once Ike made up his mind there was no changing it. After he fought with the Black Knight my faith in him grew ever stronger. He swore to defeat him and he did. He was a man of his word. That night we slept well past dawn. It was the first time Ike had done so since his Father's death. At last, the war was thinning out.

Tomorrow would be a fateful day. It would most likely be our last fight together as an army. We were to march to the capital of Crimea and finally confront the Mad King Ashnard. It would be the one battle that would go down in history for sure. If we were to lose, all of our hardships would be for nothing. Preparations for the attack had to proceed with care.

An air of excitement pervaded the camp the night before the final battle. Soldiers were smiling and laughing with one another. I couldn't help but to feel out of place. A small group of us circled around a roaring firing, reminiscing the war and things to come.

"When all this silly fightin is over I can't wait to go home and see my beautiful daughter," said Brom. Nephenee who was close at his side, enthusiastically nodded her head in agreement.

"Mmmhmm…the thought of home makes me shimmy!" she said. Brom chuckled and patted his stomach. I stared at my hands with downcast eyes. I had no desire to join in their conversation. Muarim noticed my discomfort and looked at me alarmingly.

"Say, Zihark I think ya'll would love my daughter! After this war is over how about ya meet her!" Suggested Brom. The swordsman flushed in embarrassment.

"Oh, um, well actually…" Zihark began. Brom smiled brightly and clapped his large hands together.

"Great! Then it's settled! I know my little girl will take a likin' to ya," exclaimed Brom. Ilyana moaned weakly by Zihark's side. She clutched her stomach and faintly leaned her head on the swordsman's shoulder.

"So hungry…" she muttered.

"Again? I just saw you shovel down three plates of food!" Zihark protested. Ilyana moaned again and clutched her stomach tighter.

"Oh…I feel so lightheaded when I have an empty stomach," she cowered. Zihark sighed in exasperation. Ilyana limply dropped her head onto Zihark's lap and feebly closed her eyes. The swordsman turned red and raised both of his brows.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing?" Ilyana didn't respond instead she rested lifelessly on his lap. Zihark's face softened as he nudged her lightly on the shoulder. "Okay, okay! If you're still that hungry I'll buy you something to eat but you have to get off of me first!"

Ilyana shot her violet eyes open and immediately collected herself. She sat up straight next to the swordsman and stared at him in shock. "Huh?"

"I can't have you going hungry on me, but I'm not rich I can only afford two dinners," he said. Ilyana's lips curved into a satisfied smile. She seemed to beam with graciousness.

"That's so…very kind. That should be enough. I'm so happy! Oh thank you, thank you….um…eh…Ike? No, wait! Um….Bill? Lance? Sword guy?" she stammered.

"Zihark."

"Ah, Zihark! Oh, I really appreciate it…I do!" she emphasized. Zihark stood up and extended his arm towards the mage. She smiled cutely and accepted his hand. Her legs lightly shook as she picked herself up off the log she was sitting on. The swordsman stared at her with concern. Her legs rattled like a snake and it looked as if her knees might buckle. Zihark swiftly curled his arm around her waste so she wouldn't collapse. Ilyana grinned awkwardly and her cheeks grew rosy. The two walked away hand in hand.

Everyone seemed so happy, which made me feel even more out of place. A melancholy feeling overcame me. As much as I liked watching the army interact with each other (since it was always entertaining), I slowly stood up and began to walk away. I wanted to find Sothe.

"Little one, is something wrong? You seem upset," said Muarim as he followed me. I didn't look at his face nor did I open my mouth. I didn't feel like talking about it with anyone. "If you need to talk, I'm here." My chest ached and throbbed. I stopped dead in my tracks and felt sick to my stomach. My breathing became abnormally heavy and the corners of my eyes began to sting. My body felt like it was supporting a thousand pounds. I felt like I was being crushed. Muarim gripped my shoulder and spun me around to face him. The second I looked into his worried eyes my lips started to quiver.

I couldn't hold my sadness in anymore. I buried my face into Muarim's chest and wrapped my arms around his waste. "It's not fair," I whimpered. A delicate tear rolled down my cheek and stained his shirt. Muarim rubbed my back and wrapped his arms around me comfortingly. "I finally make a beorc friend and…and…" I sobbed louder into his chest. I needed to let it out. "After tomorrow I'll…I'll never see him again will I?"

"Why don't you go talk to him? It might do you more good than just crying…okay?" said Muarim carefully. I detached myself from him and rubbed the tears away from my red puffy eyes. I clenched my hands into fists and stared at the ground. I wasn't sure why but something he said didn't sound like him. It almost seemed like he didn't want me to bother him. All I needed was shoulder to weep on just for a moment and I felt like he was pushing me away.

"I'm just your burden, aren't I?" I said agitatedly. Muarim took a step closer to me but I instantly took a step backwards.

"Where would you get a crazy idea like that?" he said.

What came out of my mouth next was something I wasn't even expecting. "Why'd you even adopt me?" I said bitterly. Muarim took in a sharp breath.

"I've told you the story how I found you countless times…"

"I never said this before but there's something about the story I just don't buy. It all seems too coincidental. You just happened to be passing by when you saw my house was on fire? Why do I feel like you're leaving out some really important details? If there's something you're not telling me I want to know!" I snapped. Muarim raised his brow in confusion.

"Little one…where is all of this coming from? I would never lie to you." I laughed darkly and rolled my eyes.

"See! You're not even answering my questions! Tell me what happened, I deserve to know, don't I?" I yelled. Muarim held a nervous face and bit down on his lip.

"I've told you everything there is to know! There's nothing to be told. Where did you get all of these crazy ideas from?"

"Stop it! You're lying to me! Liar! Liar! Liar!" I screamed. Several tears started to sprinkle down my face. I hated to be so rude to Muarim but his phony story was something that had been bothering me for a while. Something told me everything that was coming out of his mouth was a big fat lie. Why not tell him that now? There was no point in ignoring it anymore. Suddenly I wished I hadn't said those words. All the color drained from my face. I saw something in Muarim's eyes that I had never seen before…at least not directed at me. It was hostility.

"I AM NOT LYING!" he roared. I narrowed my eyes and glared at him furiously.

"That's a bunch of crap and you know it!" Then, everything seemed to happen so fast that it all seemed to occur in less than a blink of an eye. He curled his hand into a fist and raised it in the air above his head. I didn't even have a chance to flinch or dodge when he brought his fist down forcefully across my cheek. The harsh impact caused me to stumble backwards to the ground. Pain burst through my entire face. I brought my hand up to my mouth and spit into it. When I pulled my hand away I noticed it was stained red. I felt like I couldn't breath. Both of my hands shook subconsciously. I could have filled a dozen buckets with all the tears that gushed down my face. I wasn't horrified from the pain or the blood. Muarim had never hit me before, that is what scared me.

Muarim's face immediately screamed regret. He widened his eyes and gaped his mouth. I was so terrified that the only thing I could think to do was run as fast I possibly could and never look back. "No….little one! Wait!" he screamed. His shouting only made me want to run even faster. What if he was following me? My heart nearly popped out of my chest at the thought. _I have to get out of here…faster…faster…_I thought to myself repeatedly. Tears flew out of my eyes as I ran with the wind blowing in my face. My heart sank as I heard foot falls close behind me, it had to be Muarim. Terror consumed me so aggressively that I let out a sharp scream of horror. After my tear-strangled scream the footfalls seemed to stop. I was too afraid to look behind me to check if he was still following so I trudged on. I didn't know where to go at first. Most of the army was gathered around the campfire telling stories and whatnot so I couldn't go there. Then it hit me. Sothe wasn't with the rest of the group before. I could go to him.

I knew I'd probably be able to find him in a small clearing in a nearby patch of woods. We claimed it as our secret spot and told not a single soul about it. So, I pushed my way through the brush. As I did so a thorn bush brushed against my arm and left a trail of blood where it scratched me. I didn't even feel the thorns dig into my skin all I could feel was a throbbing in my chest.

I pushed through more dead branches until I found the clearing. I could see Sothe standing with his back faced away from me. He clutched a knife in his hand and brought it behind his back. He held it there for a moment and then released it towards an oak tree where the knife landed perfectly in the middle of the trunk. As I approached him from behind I snapped a twig with my foot. Sothe turned around startled but then calmed down when he saw it was only me. I took a few steps closer to my friend and covered my face with my hand.

"Tormod….?" I sobbed into my hand and breathed heavily. I took my hand away from my face to reveal the blood that was smeared all over it. "Tormod, what happened!" he yelled in distress. I tried to open my mouth but all that came out were labored sobs. Everything felt like a nightmare and I couldn't wake up. I fell to my knees and squeezed a patch of grass with my hands. Sothe kneeled down and tried to comfort me.

"He...he…he hit me…Muarim hit me!" I wailed. I clutched the grass tighter and pulled it out of the earth.

"What? Why? Why would he do that?" said Sothe. The pain in my chest throbbed even harder. I felt like I could barely control my own body. My skin felt like it was burning and my head began to pound. More wet hot tears filled my eyes, my throat closed tight and each word I tried to convey was pitched higher than the last.

"He hates me….Muarim hates me…I'm no good…" I cried. Sothe wrapped his arm around my shoulder. I leaned on him and let even more tears flow down my face like a river escaping a dam.

"He doesn't hate you," Sothe said firmly.

"Wha…what am I gonna do? I'm scared…he never hi-hit me before." Sothe pulled me closer to him and let me cry for a decent amount of time. How did I let things get this bad? I sat on my knees with Sothe beside me for a few more minutes. I sniffled and choked back the last of the tears. Although I was drained and dehydrated, somehow it made me feel better that all the sorrow was out of my system.

"It's gonna be okay…all you need to do is talk it over with Muarim. I'm sure he feels like a big jerk right now anyway." I heartily shook my head and told him everything that had happened prior.

"So y'see…he's lying to me about something huge or at least I thought he was. I guess he really meant it when he said he wasn't lying."

"Yeah but he didn't have to strike you to prove a point!" I nodded my head and wiped some of the drying blood off my face with my orange cape. "Look he probably just got frustrated with you…you can be rather persistent sometimes. I'm sure he's dying to apologize."

"I feel like he…like he doesn't want me anymore. Sothe, what am I gonna do? Muarim hates me and tomorrow we say goodbye. I'm gonna be all alone…" Sothe tensed up at my side.

"Don't say that."

"Sothe…" I began. "I'm really going to miss you."


	15. Chapter 15 Ruined

Chapter 15 Ruined

I rubbed my itchy eyes and cradled my arms around my body. I couldn't say how many times I expected to wake up covered in sweat inside my sleeping roll. Nothing felt real. I wasn't sure how much time had passed….minutes, hours? It all felt the same to me. My body felt numb and my brain could barely register anything. I stared fixedly at the ground, never once picking my head up. I dug my nails into the earth simultaneously. I had forgotten Sothe was at my side the entire time until he spoke.

"Tormod…you're scaring me. Maybe we should head back," he suggested. I couldn't open my mouth to respond; it felt like it was bolted shut. All I could do was dig my nails deeper into the ground. Sothe lightly shook me by the shoulder. "Come on we have a big day tomorrow, no one needs you falling asleep on the battle field." I pressed my lips together into a thin line. My body felt like it was shutting down, I lost the ability to think all together at that point. "Say something dammit! Don't do this." I kept my mouth shut and dropped my head to the ground. My head began to throb so I wrapped my arms around it instinctively. "Okay that's it I'm getting Rhys." My heartbeat sped up and I forced my lips to separate.

"N-no…" I mumbled. Sothe sighed in defeat. "Stay…here…please," I squeaked.

"You want to sleep out here?" he said.

"Y-yeah…can't go back…" I struggled. I heard Sothe sigh again and imagined him to look pretty frustrated. I closed my eyes but all I could see was Muarim's fist flying towards my face. Although the impact was painful, I knew Muarim was capable of much worse. He could have hit me harder, he could have knocked me out…but he didn't. Was he really that desperate to cease my interrogation?

"You're too quiet…well for you," said Sothe. He sat down next to me with his legs crisscrossed. I didn't say anything in return instead I pondered what happened some more. It suddenly occurred to me that maybe Muarim really was lying. Maybe whatever he was hiding was so disastrous that he had to be absolutely sure I would never speak of it again.

"Hey, Sothe…." I mumbled.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think maybe Muarim _is_ lying? I mean…whenever I bring up my past he gets really tense. I wish I could remember what happened but I just can't! I guess it's because I was so young…" Sothe shrugged his shoulders and thought for a moment.

"Maybe something bad happened and he doesn't want you to ever find out about it. It could just seem like he's being secretive right now but what ever it is…maybe…maybe he's trying to protect you from it. What you don't know can't hurt you." I prayed those actually were the circumstances and he didn't just strike me out of spite. They made sense. There were several missing links to the chain of my past.

I slowly picked up my head and stared at the night sky. Each star shined brighter than the last. "Something bad? I wonder what it could be…" I said curiously. "It's not like I can come out and ask him." Sothe nodded his head.

"True, but…secrets always have their way of slipping out. It's probably only a matter of time before it unfolds."

"Yeah maybe you're right…I should let it happen naturally. I mean no one can hide something forever!" I took a long breath and unearthed the tips of my fingers that were drilled into the ground. Everything started to become a little clearer. My mind wasn't quite so foggy. "Do you think he…do you think he…hates me?"

"Honestly?" I nodded my head. "I think he'd probably die for you a million times over without regret. When we first met you guys he was ready to do just that…at least that's what it looked like."

"No you're right, he was. I was pretty mad at him for that." I usually disliked his readiness to drop dead for me but in truth I'd be willing to do the same for him. Sothe had a point.

"I think whatever he's doing…it's for your benefit. He cares a lot about you. I don't think I ever saw real grief in someone's eyes until you pulled that little stunt," said Sothe referring to the cursed tome. I lightly giggled and Sothe rolled his eyes. "Don't ever do that again…seriously. I'm not gonna be there next time and…" Everything suddenly went silent. My chuckling stopped abruptly and all I could hear was the rustling of leaves from the wind. I wished he didn't bring up the inevitable, but it was too late. My heart thumped nostalgically against my chest. Sothe bit his lip and dropped his eyes to the ground nervously.

"And you're not going to be able to stop me from doing something reckless, right?" I said shakily, breaking the silence. Sothe attempted to form a meek smile.

"Yeah or tell you not to burn tents down," he added. I snickered and started to grin remembering the silly things we did.

"And I'm not gonna be able to stop you from trying to kill people you get mad at." Sothe's laughter chimed in with mine.

"I guess we'll have to think for ourselves," he said sullenly.

"I guess so," I said.

…

That night Sothe managed to convince me to go to my tent and sleep. I knew sleeping would be impossible but there weren't many other options. When I got to my tent Muarim wasn't there. A feeling of uneasiness washed over me but I swallowed it down and attempted to fall asleep. I delicately closed my eyes and pulled my blanket over my body. Then I dived into a dream.

_My face was drenched in tears while my nose started to run. I tugged on my mother's satin dress desperately to get her attention. She chose not to acknowledge me but it only made me pull on her dress harder. "Where are you taking my friend? Give him back!" I shouted frantically. She folded her arms tight across her chest and directed a few burly men to a closed door. _

"_Tormod, sweetheart, please don't refer to him as your friend, let alone a human being. He is beneath you. Do you understand?" she said calmly. I pounded her leg as hard as I could with my balled up fists but she didn't even stir. It was completely hopeless. _

"_No! And I don't wanna understand!" I shouted while sticking my tongue out. "He's my friend!" _

"_If you know what's good for you, you'll stop saying that," she said coldly. Suddenly three well-built men equipped with leather whips approached us. _

"_The preparations are complete," said one of the men. _

"_Very well, bring the rebel fourth." A tall muscular figured stepped forward. His face was covered in a worn brown bag and his hands were tied behind his back. My mother turned around and kneeled so she was level with me. "Just for this one time I'll cover your eyes so you don't have to see," she whispered in my ear. She placed her cool hands over my eyes. _

"_Huh? What's going on? Why can't I see?" I asked in confusion. _

"_No misdeed shall go on punished. I told your 'friend' to stay away from my baby and he did no such thing! I'm sorry if this upsets you but it must be done. I will not have my own son associate himself with that thing!" Tears stung the corners of my eyes and my heart pounded out of control. _

"_NO! Leave him alone! He didn't do anything wrong!" I tried to squirm my way out of her grip but she held me down. Suddenly the cracking of a whip pierced my ears. A loud grunt followed soon after. "STOP! LET ME GO!" I cried. The screaming of the whip resonated louder than my pleas. I couldn't take it anymore. Finally my mother gave up on restraining me. I burst my eyes open and confronted the horror before me. "LEAVE HIM ALONE!"_

I woke up with a start, covered in sweat. I felt something cool against my cheek and something warm shaking me by the shoulder. "It's okay…you were just having a bad dream," came a calm and steady voice. I focused in on Muarim who was leaning over me holding a pack of ice to my cheek. He hovered over me protectively like he often did. As astonished, as I was to see Muarim acting normal, the dream was what really bothered me. It didn't feel like a dream, more like déjà vu. I had seen those faces before and I recalled those frantic yells escaping from my lips. It slowly started to come back to me. I believed I was finally remembering bits and pieces of my past.

I wiped the sweat off my forehead and stared at Muarim in confusion. The hostility in his eyes disappeared and he seemed more like himself. "Little one I…I promise I'll never hurt you again. I'm so sorry; I'll never forgive myself…I completely understand if you hate me. You'd be much better off with a beorc father…" he said miserably. I could have whacked him over the head for ever thinking that.

"How could you say that? Of course I forgive you…sorry I ran off before I was just…"

"Scared?" I silently gulped because he was right and he knew it.

"I…uh…umm…." I didn't want to admit the terror I was feeling inside. He didn't need to hear it, he already felt bad enough about hitting me. I knew he was sorry and that was all that was important.

"That's understandable."

"I-I'm sorry I was being pushy before…I won't ask anymore questions if it makes you angry. I was j-just curious." He stared at the floor morosely and remained silent. I could tell he was beating himself up over this.

"You're afraid of me," he said. I widened my eyes and stared in shock.

"N-no! N-n-never," I managed. He shook his head in shame and looked at me sincerely.

"Yes you are. You stutter when you're scared." I swallowed deeply and bit the inside of my mouth. I couldn't help but to feel shaky after what happened, but I didn't need Muarim to think that. I hated how despite my efforts he could always prove me wrong.

"N-no I just ha-had a bad dream!" It wasn't a complete lie. I was a bit shaken from the dream. I wasn't entirely sure on what was happening in it but I remembered my mother and that was big, although her face was but a blur. I had wished I'd gotten a closer look.

"You stutter when you lie too." I wanted to hit myself over the head; it was impossible to argue with Muarim. He knew my mannerisms way too well, better than anybody. I let out a long heavy sigh and leaned my head over my shoulder. The bag of ice slid off my cheek and onto the ground. Muarim picked it up and brought it over to my face. As his hand came closer I instinctively flinched and pulled my head back. He dropped the bag of ice in disdain. "This is what I mean. Little one…I've ruined you." He slowly picked himself up and headed out the tent.

"Wait! Don't leave! Muarim!" I shouted. By the time the words came out of my mouth he had already left. His laguz ears would have been able to pick up on it regardless, but he didn't come back. I scooped myself off the floor to follow him. As I stood up all the blood rushed to my head. Black spots invaded my vision for a moment. I took a second to steady myself and continued on. As I stepped outside all I could see was darkness. There was no way for me to know which way Muarim went. I whispered a fire spell I had memorized and lit a small flame in my palm. It illuminated enough of the night for me to see where I was going.

The first place I decided to look was the forest. It was a nice spot to clear your head so I figured it might be and adequate place to find Muarim. I ran straight forward breathlessly. While I sprinted through the thicket and the pine trees I felt my foot slide into a loose root on the ground. I threw my arms up to steady myself and I tried to pull my foot free, but it was useless. I inevitably began to fall forward. Out of the corner of my eye I could see a small gray stone, hiding behind some overgrown grass. I let out a sharp breath before the side of my head smashed against the solid hidden stone. Before I felt a burst of pain, I plunged into darkness.


	16. Chapter 16 Truths Revealed

Chapter 16 Truths Revealed

As I fluttered my eyes open, an obnoxious ray of sun shined directly towards my face. The glimmer of light caressed my skin and made it bubble with warmth. I focused in on my surroundings. Rhys leaned over me cautiously with his hair slightly covering his face. My eyebrows pulled together in confusion. "W-what happened?" I mumbled softly. I rubbed my forehead and felt a bandage wrapped around it tightly.

"I found you unconscious on the path to the woods last night," said Muarim. I didn't even notice he was there. Usually in a situation like this he would hover over me like a hawk. Instead he sat in a wooden chair halfway across the room with his arms folded. Something was bothering him.

"Did I trip and fall or something? Haha I should watch where I'm going! I guess I'm a little clumsy, right Muarim?" I said. Muarim picked up his downcast eyes and looked at me in bewilderment. Suddenly a sensation of panic overcame me. "Wait a second…it's morning! Ahhh! Did they leave without us?" I nearly yelled.

"General Ike said we are moving out in about an hour's time," replied Rhys calmly. "But how are you feeling? Do you feel well enough to fight?" I playfully rolled my eyes and flashed a toothy grin.

"I was born ready! All I need are my tomes and I'm all set. So if you'll excuse me…" I began to sit up but the healer immediately pulled me down by the wrist. He winced slightly upon grabbing it but brought me down nonetheless.

"Sorry…but I would like to change a few of your bandages if you don't mind," said Rhys. I looked over to Muarim who seemed oddly gloomy.

"Hey Muarim! Could you do me a _huge_ favor and get my tomes for me? You know where they are, right? This way we can cut back on time." Muarim slowly nodded his head and left the tent without any objection. His somber mood sparked my curiosity. Once he left, Rhys turned to me and looked worriedly at my wrist.

"Were you injured badly here?" he asked as he picked up my poorly bandaged forearm.

"Huh? Nahh! Just a little scratch no biggie," I lied.

"Does it hurt? It feels very warm underneath." I chomped down on my bottom lip and pondered something to say.

"N-n-no not at all!" I stammered. I pulled my arm away from his grip and brought it closer to my chest.

"Oh…well those bandages look like they are falling off. Let me put some new ones on." He fished some white medical tape out of a drawer and a fresh roll of bandages. I should have just ran away while I could, but I felt frozen. What was the worst that could happen if he knew? My heart beat faltered as he grabbed my wrist and slowly unraveled the worn bandages. Gradually my clean woundless flesh was revealed. Rhys jumped and let out a startled breath. "Oh dear…this isn't a wound," he said fretfully.

"Yeah…" I said with a nervous laugh.

"If you don't mind me asking…how in blazes did you end up with Devlin's crest?" he asked alarmingly. His face appeared colorless. My stomach churned at his apparent fear.

"Devlin's crest?" I asked in disbelief.

"You've never heard of him?" I shook my head frantically. Was it really possible he knew more about the mysteries of the crest? "He was a dark sage…notorious for his interest in curses and crafting rather destructive tomes."

"How do you know that?" Rhys dropped his gaze to the floor uncomfortably.

"I…I knew him."

"How?" I leaned closer to Rhys in curiosity. But to my dismay he kept his lips sealed. I wondered what was going through his mind. "Please if you know anything you have to tell me!" Rhys closed his eyes and his bottom lip quivered. "Rhys?" He delicately opened his eyes and stared fixedly into space.

"He was my…he was my brother," he whispered somberly. "He used to have markings all over him like the one on your wrist." The healer pointed to my crest that almost seemed to glow at the moment.

"But…how could someone like you be related to someone so evil!" Rhys slightly shook his head with disappointed eyes.

"He wasn't evil…he just let his abilities get to his head." It was almost impossible to take in everything I was hearing. It was an information overload. I never knew Rhys had a brother.

Suddenly it looked as if he keeled over in pain. He wrapped his arms around his torso and squeezed his eyes shut. His breathing became abnormally heavy and his lip started to tremble once again.

"Rhys…are you okay?" I asked in concern. He slowly picked his head up as a delicate tear carefully descended down his cheek.

"I loved him…"he murmured just loud enough for me to hear. I couldn't help but to notice every time he referred to Devlin he spoke in the past tense. At the moment I had not a clue what to say. I got the feeling that what ever happened; Rhys wasn't strong enough to speak of it. "He loved making such dangerous tomes…but he was a good person. He was just…different…but very skilled."

"Rhys…"

"Ignis. That was his favorite one…" As soon as he spoke the word 'ignis' my eyeballs nearly popped out of their sockets and my heart dropped. That was the one, the one that almost ended me. Now the question was what possessed him to make such destructive tomes and how did I end up with his "favorite".

"I've used that tome before! It was so powerful but impossible to control. It nearly killed me…" I blurted out anxiously. Rhys slightly parted his lips and widened his eyes.

"Then…that time when you were burning up…you had used ignis?" he shouted in disbelief.

"Well…yeah…" Rhys let out a heavy sigh and dropped his shoulders.

"It all makes sense now. Tormod…you are so very lucky to be alive."

"I know…I know…if it wasn't for Reyson I'd be pushing up daisies." I had heard it all a million times; how it was a miracle I survived. Death had never felt so real until I had spoken the words inside that tome.

"So very lucky…" he muttered. He dropped his head again and cupped his hand over his mouth.

"Wh-what happened to him?" I asked in curiosity. "To Devlin," I clarified. I noticed his shoulders and arms begin to quake. I reached out to grab his shoulder to comfort him. My heartbeat gradually sped up.

"When he had used ignis he…he…" I could only assume what he was about to say. It was obvious he had burned from the inside out like I almost did. He didn't need to finish his statement.

"It's okay. I understand," I said comfortingly. Rhys shook his head and wiped his tears away with his sleeve.

"No…there's more. Ignis wasn't what killed him," he began in a voice that was thick with tears. I stared at him intensely still gripping his shoulder. Another almost silent sob escaped his lips. "I did." At first I wasn't entirely sure I had heard him right. It was difficult to imagine Rhys, who was so kindhearted, murdering his own brother. It wasn't possible…he wasn't capable of something so cold. I felt like the thumping of my heart against my chest was audible. "He was in so much pain…"

"Look Rhys…you don't have to tell me everything, I won't force you. This is probably very difficult." He shook his head sorrowfully and parted his quaking lips to speak.

"No…you should know. Devlin suffered…in the very same way you did. As a healer I couldn't stand by and watch as someone I loved was in anguish. There wasn't anything I could do…I was completely powerless. I did the only thing I saw fit…we both agreed on it. He wanted me to do it and I couldn't decline." He lightly sobbed into his palm. His breaths were low and shallow. I felt like a statue, completely immobilized. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. How could any of this be? I wanted to hug Rhys and tell him it was going to be okay, but I wasn't so sure it was. What an awful burden to carry on your shoulders. I was lost for words…what do you say to something like that?

Finally I forced my mouth open and tried to form words. "I…I had no idea…Rhys I'm so sorry." I let my instincts get the better of me. I wrapped my arms around his torso and hugged him tightly. He rested his chin on top of my shoulder and quietly wept. I felt one of his warm tears slide carefully down my back.

"He was so very reckless…I never approved of all the dangerous things he did, but I loved him regardless. I always accepted him for who he was," he said in a voice that was choked with sniffles. I rubbed his back soothingly in attempt to calm him down. For a few minutes that was all I did. I comforted my mentor while he cried over my dampening shoulder.

"Um…Rhys…. if that's all true then how did I end up with ignis?" He gradually picked his head up and swallowed down the rest of his sorrows.

"He had a wife…whom I wasn't too fond of. After his death she wanted rid of all the tomes he had ever crafted…cursed and not cursed. I believe she had sold them to a traveling merchant. It was against her nature as a fellow mage to destroy any tome. I'm sure more than just ignis is floating around somewhere."

"So she just sold them to a merchant knowing who ever was unlucky enough to use them would be put in serious danger?" Rhys nodded his head in disgust.

"Yes. She's not a very practical woman."

"Is she still alive?" He dried his remaining tears with his white sleeve and looked up at me.

"Yes very much alive. I believe she was pregnant just before Devlin had died. I never met her child though, she lost connection to my family after Devlin and fled to Begnion." I ran my fingers through my mess of red hair and tried to absorb everything to the best of my ability. "I'm sorry this must be a lot to hear."

"No! This is really going to help me understand more about this crest. So…if I used ignis does that make me cursed?" He gently grabbed my forearm and studied the wicked design.

"I never really understood the dark arts. I'm not entirely sure how Devlin did the things he did…he was gifted. As for that mark…I'm afraid it very well could be a curse. Devlin was covered in bizarre symbols like that." I gulped nervously and hesitantly nodded my head.

"Thank you…so much. This information is really helpful!" He stared at me apologetically and forced a meek smile.

"Oh…I am sorry you had to hear all that. I never really spoke of it before. Thank you for listening…you are a very good friend, Tormod," he said softly. My lips curved upwards into a tiny a grin.

"The best around!" I boasted with a giggle. Rhys weakly chuckled in return. After I had gotten the entire story behind the crest I informed Rhys how I didn't want Muarim to know about it. He respected my decision and helped me bandage the marking so it was no longer visible.

Suddenly the side of my head began to throb. It pounded against my skull dreadfully. I really started to wonder what exactly I had done to myself prior to waking up in the medical tent.

…

As I walked out of the tent my head spun with all that I had discovered. I tried not to dwell on it because I knew it would drive me completely mad. The sun had rose higher in the sky, which meant the battle was drawing nearer. Upon exiting, I found Muarim heading towards me with a few of my tomes tucked under his arm. I waved to him from a distance and sped up to greet him.

"Hey, you found em!" I said enthusiastically. He handed me them one by one. "Thanks!" He stared at me quizzically in return with his brow raised. His lips turned to a frown. I took a step closer to him and watched him in concern. "Muarim you look sad. I don't like it when you're not happy!"

"No…I'm just…uh…" before he could finish his broken thought I hugged him warmly around the waist. He apprehensively wrapped his arms around my back.

"Muarim, what's wrong? If you're worried about me I'm fine I promise!" I rested my head inside his warm chest. As I did so I could feel him tense up. I could just about hear his heart beat accelerate slightly since my face was pressed closely against him He was silent for a moment, as if he were thinking deeply about something.

"Nothing's wrong…absolutely nothing," he spoke.


	17. Chapter 17 Clueless

Chapter 17 Clueless

The sun rose higher in the cloudless sky. It's warm rays beat down on the entire army's back. I breathed in a puff of the warm Crimean air. I carefully absorbed all of my surroundings so the memory would be ingrained into my mind. This would be the last time I fought with this army. After today it would all be over. Losing was out of the question and all I could think of was how sweet victory would finally taste after all the hardships everyone had endured. The thought of heading back to Begnion by night was difficult to wrap my head around, but it was reality.

As I pondered the course of the war the entire army gathered around Princess Elincia like a flock of birds. It looked as if she were making a speech but her voice failed to reach my ears. I'm sure whatever she happened to be saying was along the lines of a gracious thank you for resurrecting her homeland. It wasn't necessary for me to hear because I already knew how thankful she was. She always made it very evident, especially when she had decided to fight alongside us. She would be a great ruler, one who the people could place their faith in.

A light tap on my shoulder woke me from trance. I spun around to see Sothe with concern in his eyes. "Hey, Sothe!" I said.

"Hey…how are you feeling?" he asked carefully. I wasn't entirely sure what he meant by that unless he had heard that Muarim found me unconscious last night.

"Um…good I guess. My head hurts but other than that no complaints!" I replied with a bright grin. He stared at me in bewilderment like something I said made no sense at all.

"Really? So everything's good now?" His voice had a hint of surprise to it.

"Uh yeah, I feel better…but I'm not too sure what I did last night. All I know is that whatever it is gave me a _killer_ headache! Haha! Sothe did you slip something into my drink at dinner?" I teased. He rolled his eyes and stared at me in that strange way again.

"What do you mean you don't remember last night? Did you hit your head!" I lightly snickered at his rage.

"Hit my head? Wait a second… that actually sounds pretty reasonable! Maybe that's why I can't remember anything. My head does hurt…y'know that makes _a lot_ of sense now that I think about it. Hmmmm…" Even though what Sothe said was meant to be offensive, he was probably right. My head was throbbing excruciatingly. It felt as if someone was drilling a hole inside my skull but I tried my best to mask the pain. There was no way I was missing out on the final battle.

"For crying out loud…you would do something like that! Stupid… stupid…"

"Hey that was an insult!" Sothe smacked his hand to his forehead and grunted in aggravation. I didn't understand what was so frustrating about me not remembering the night's events.

"So you remember _nothing_? Not a thing?"

"Nope! Ahh! Did we do something really funny last night? Aww come on…I missed out, didn't I?" My lips curved to a frown and Sothe's did the same. He looked towards the ground uncomfortably and swore under his breath. "Darn… it must have been so funny…well now you gotta tell me what it is!" Sothe kept his stare anywhere that wasn't my face. His mouth remained shut for a few silent moments. "C'mon don't keep me in suspense! What happened? What'd we do?" I asked eagerly. Finally he stared at me in an apologetic way. He released a long heavy breath.

"Tormod…" he began. Before he could finish his thought Ike began to rally all of his troops together to say a few words before the battle. Sothe and I followed the pack and stared wondrously at our General Ike who stood before us to speak for the last time. Whatever Sothe was going to say would have to wait. We squeezed ourselves into the crowd and anxiously awaited Ike's words. A low buzz of chatter from his crowd echoed through the air. Ike cleared his throat and the second he did so all went silent amongst his army. He awkwardly stared into the sea of soldiers as if he didn't expect his army to go quiet at the sound of him clearing his throat. We all stared at him intently with adoration shining through our facial expressions.

"Um hey there…" he started like he was unsure of what to say to all the hopeful faces before him. "Before we march into battle, like we've all done a million times before it seems…I just want to tell you all something very important. I will not accept anyone dying on me today! Remember…you only have one life. In this moment especially our blood ties do not matter. We're all family in everyway that counts. If you don't want to cause your family grief then simply don't die. That is what my Father always said…and now I think…I think I finally understand why. He said it because we're family. Don't let your guard down…never turn your back…and use every last drop of strength you have in your bodies!" Everyone seemed to silently agree with everything Ike said. As he spoke of family ties and holding on to life, I thought of all that happened to me during the war. I could really relate to all of his motivational words.

"Our road has been long but it ends today! We will liberate Crimea…free our friends and our families from Daein's oppression! So everyone…men of Crimea…Laguz of Tellius…Greil Mercenaries. For the last and final time…MOVE OUT!" he roared with triumph. The crowd raised their weapons in the air and cheered heartily for Ike. High-pitched whistles accompanied the shouts and cheers that boomed from the soldiers' lips. Everyone was ready…ready for it all to come to an end. I could feel the upbeat energy radiate off of everyone's skin. Ike raised his sword skyward and joined in the cheering. The ground seemed to vibrate with hopeful feelings. Finally it was time…time to end it all.

I breathed inward and looked to my side to say a few cheerful words to Sothe, but he had disappeared. I scanned the crowd of confident faces but failed to find Sothe amongst them. I stood on my tiptoes to get a better look over the heads of the soldiers, but still was unsuccessful. He must have slipped past me during Ike's speech. The colossal crowd led by Ike began to move out towards Castle Crimea. As they marched, I squeezed my way through each fighter in the opposite direction. _Sothe, where are you?_

After I wiggled myself out of the pack I nearly stumbled to the ground. I took in a deep breath and tried to catch my breath. Breathing was nearly impossible when being sandwiched between multiple bodies at once. As I collected myself I saw what appeared to be Muarim and Sothe conversing in the corner of my eye. I spun myself around to get a closer look. Sure enough I was right, off in the distance the two of them seemed to discuss something with one another. I couldn't help but wonder what they were talking about. Whatever it was, had to have been important because I got the impression that both of them had missed Ike's morale boosting speech. Sothe had not told me he was leaving either. So I assumed what they were discussing was something they didn't want reaching my ears. Not too far from where they were standing stood a tall withering oak tree. Its trunk was large enough for me to successfully hide behind. I admit, I felt a tad guilty for eavesdropping but I felt almost inclined to do so.

"Look I'm really sorry but you're asking me to do something completely impossible. He's not a _complete_ moron (most of the time). If you don't tell him now he'll find out on his own…which would be bad. It'd be much better if he heard it from you," said Sothe. Muarim sighed in exasperation.

"Yes I know that…but after what happened he was afraid of me. I feel like I've been given a second chance…and I won't ruin it this time. I don't want him to ever feel scared and alone again. If I could….I would…I would have fled last night," said Muarim. My heart pounded thunderously against my chest. What reason could he possibly have had for leaving? Something in the pit of my stomach told me that whatever I missed out on last night wasn't a joke. "He deserves so much better." I cupped my hand over my mouth to muffle my gasps. I felt a light tug inside my chest. Why would he ever say something like that? It took everything I had within me to not jump out of my safe haven behind the tree.

"I was with him after it happened last night. _Yeah,_ he was a bit shaken but he was getting through it. He would have recovered given the time. I get that you see him losing his memory of the night's events as a fresh start but when it comes down to it…what's right is right and what's wrong is wrong. You can't just act like it never happened."

"I know that, but all I want to do is take it back and start over, is that really so wrong?" Sothe ran his fingers through his mess of green hair and let out a deep exhale.

"I'm afraid so. I can't step back and watch you lie to him. He's my friend, okay? I won't do it, I won't!" Sothe crossed his arms and slightly raised his chin like a stubborn child.

"Thank you." Sothe's eyebrows pulled together in confusion. He stared at Muarim enquiringly. I poked my head out further from the side of the tree trunk.

"For what?"

"For being there for my little one when I couldn't be. You are very dear friend to him…thank you." For a split second I felt like my heart stopped. Sothe's eyes wandered to mine for a brief moment. His silver eye burnt through mine even though I knew he couldn't see out of it. It caused me to jump and nearly stumble as I pulled back my head that stuck out from the side of the tree. I tried to race positive thoughts through my head. _Maybe he didn't see me…he can barely see at all as it is. _After a few moments of panic I heard Sothe speak again.

"You don't have to thank me, it's not like it was a chore or anything. We've got each others backs if you know what I mean." I let out a huge sigh of relief. At that point the curiosity burnt inside me like an abandoned campfire spreading into an aggressive wild fire.

"Yes…yes I do," said Muarim almost inaudibly.

"So will you tell him?" It was silent for a few seconds. I wanted to poke my head out to see but I was too frightened I might get spotted again. "Because if you won't tell him then I will." That was it. That was the breaking point. I couldn't stand behind a tree any longer and wonder what it is they were talking about it. I no longer cared if they knew I was eavesdropping. I had to know. If I stood in the shadows just a little while longer I could risk them leaving for the final battle that would commence in only a few minutes. There wouldn't be time after the battle because Sothe would be gone. So, I slid past the tall oak tree and took a few paces forward to completely reveal myself.

"Tell me what?" I asked.


	18. Chapter 18 Questions Arise

Chapter 18 Questions Arise

I had caught Muarim off guard when I revealed myself from behind the tree. He quickly turned and took in a sharp breath. Sothe on the other hand appeared pretty mellow, like he was expecting me the entire time. His behavior confirmed my suspicions that he had seen me prior to this moment. I wondered why he had decided to stay close-mouthed. I started to get the feeling that maybe he wanted me to hear what they were saying but then again I couldn't be entirely sure. Sothe was always mysterious, no matter how well I got to know him. Neither of them spoke a word when I had demanded an explanation. I cleared my throat and demanded answers yet again, "Well?"

Sothe looked to Muarim, then me and then back to Muarim. He heaved a small sack over his shoulder and began to walk away. "You're choice. It's either me or you. For now I'm out of here...think about it though, will you?" he said. Muarim silently nodded his head. Before I could object Sothe had already gone too far out of my reach. His steps gradually turned to a hurried sprint to catch up with the rest of the group. I would have gone with him, but not without an explanation from at least Muarim since Sothe clearly wasn't giving me one. As I thought more about it I probably should have gone with Sothe instead of falling behind. However I stayed stalk still and stared intently at Muarim. He looked back at me in a sad puppy dog way.

"So? What is it? What happened?" I pressed. Muarim dropped his gaze to the ground as if he didn't want to look at me. I took a step closer to him and cocked my head to the side in concern.

"It's...it's not good," he replied reluctantly. I rolled my eyes and let out a disapproving snort.

"Yeah...I kind of caught on to that." Muarim let out a long lingering breath to signify he didn't want to talk about it.

"Last night we had an argument..." he began. After that I wasn't sure if he had continued talking or if he had paused. I felt my ability to focus slip out of my hold. The drilling feeling inside of my skull was back, but this time it was much worse. It felt like the driller had successfully dug a decent sized crater inside my head. I brought my hand to my face instinctively and tried not to grunt in pain. It felt like a hammer was smashing through the sides of my skull. I wasn't sure what exactly triggered the horrifying feeling but I had an initiative that it had to do with the word "argument". My head had been throbbing before hand but it had never once felt quite so agonizing like it did in that moment, especially not so suddenly. I almost felt like my brain was pulsing rapidly against my skull in the same way my heart would pound against my chest. I closed my eyes and tried my hardest to breathe deeply and relax, so I would not alarm Muarim. "...and that was what happened, I am so sorry. I understand if you can't forgive me...you have every right not to," he said. Amidst all my pain I was enduring I had missed Muarim's entire explanation.

Subsequently, one last outburst of anguish rattled my brain. I held both of my hands tighter to my head and cried out in agony. In an instant, Muarim kneeled down so he was level with me. I felt his warm large hands cup my face. I partially opened my eyes so they were only small slits. Everything in my vision seemed to double. "Little one, what is wrong? Is your head hurting you?" he asked in distress. He moved his hand to my forehead as if he were checking my temperature. As he did so, a strange instinct forced me to jump back almost subconsciously. "Ah...you do remember," he whispered. I wasn't sure what he had meant by that but for some odd reason I felt uneasy with his hand near my face. He let go of me and I almost stumbled to the ground. He stood up and slightly distanced himself from me. As he backed away I felt the pulsing inside of my head settle down. "Better?" he said. I looked up at Muarim awkwardly, wondering what just happened.

"Sorry...I didn't hear what you said. I don't know what just uh...I hit my head kind of hard I think," I replied.

"You didn't hear me?"

"No...I got a really bad headache but it's starting to go away now." I rubbed my forehead with my palm and focused on Muarim. There was only one of him and he was crystal clear. "Could you tell me again what happened?" I asked.

"I'm not sure if that's entirely necessary. You remember much more than you think you do." I scratched the back of my head and stared at him feeling puzzled.

"Huh? I do?" Before Muarim parted his lips to respond a soldier clad in gray armor and a black eye patch stumbled between us. He yawned obnoxiously and stretched his arms high above his head with his axe in hand. If Muarim hadn't been on high alert my head could have easily been severed as the tired soldier brought down his axe hand. Before it could graze me, Muarim tightly gripped his arm and stopped its motion. By the time Muarim had stopped him I had already ducked and threw my hands over my head. I scrunched up my face in anticipation of brutal pain that failed to reach me, so I carefully peeked my head up to see Muarim cautiously lowering the soldier's axe hand away from me. I breathed a shaky sigh of alleviation.

"Be careful where you're swinging that thing," warned Muarim. The solider looked to him tiredly. His eye seemed to glaze over in exhaustion.

"Hm? Ah yes...didn't see you there! I'm terribly sorry, I didn't get enough sleep for my liking. Some loud roaring and cheering woke me up rather rudely," he replied.

"Are you saying you just woke up?" I asked in amazement. He rubbed his uncovered eye and yawned yet again. He closed his eye and dropped his head lethargically to his shoulder. I took a curious step closer to him. At first I thought he might have been sick. However after a disgruntled snore escaped his slightly ajar mouth, I knew he had in fact fallen asleep. "Hello?" I said as I tapped him lightly on the shoulder. He then awoke with a start. He rapidly scanned his surroundings.

"Hm? Who goes there?" he asked in perplexity. I raised my hand in the air and grinned. I couldn't help but to snicker.

"Me!" I responded. The soldier scanned me from head to toe showing little recognition in his facial features.

"Who might you be?" he asked. I smiled brightly and tried to refrain from too much laughter.

"I'm Tormod and this is Muarim, pleased to meet you!"

"Oh, of course! And I am Haar, I suppose we have never met before?" I shook my head in response.

"Nope I don't think so." Haar acknowledged my reply with the nod of his head. He then looked eastward to where the Crimean army had began marching.

"Looks like Ike will be giving a speech to his loyal soldiers shortly. Now that is something I wouldn't want to miss!"

"Um, actually..." I began uncomfortably. Muarim, sensing my hesitance, spoke in my stead.

"Ike has already given his speech...those soldiers are marching towards the castle of Crimea for the final battle. We should follow them." Haar threw both of his hands up in outrage.

"Madness! How could I have missed his speech? What games do you play?" he objected. He brought his hands down forcefully with his axe still in his grip. The weapon nearly struck me again but before it could skim me I swiftly jumped out of the way.

"Haha! You were probably sleeping!" I said with a giggle.

"Ah...very true indeed! Sleep comes before everything!" The corners of my mouth pricked upward into a wider grin.

"I like this guy!" I said. Haar stared at me in wonder.

"Tell me young one, do you cherish sleep as much as I do?"

"I don't know..."

"Then let me tell you that sleep is everything! It's the life force of man! It's the peek of happiness! It's peace of mind! It's..." he suddenly trailed off. He appeared to be in a daze like he was earlier. He dropped his head limply to his shoulder and delicately closed his eye like he had done previously. I supposed all the talk about sleep made him weary. But it was astounding how Harr could fall so easily into a sleep...even as he was talking. I turned my head to Muarim and giggled, he smiled in return.

"Mr. Harr? You fell asleep again!" I said carefully as I gave him a slight nudge on the shoulder. He shot his eye open and hurriedly darted his eyes from me to Muarim and back to me.

After a prolonged snort he said, "Hmm? What's that? Were we talking just now?" My lower lip trembled from his bluntness. Booming laughter threatened to escape my lips at any second.

"You should go to bed earlier! Then you won't be so tired," I suggested.

"Pah! Are you mad? I'm in my sleeping roll before the sun goes down!"

"Haha! You're funny!" I squeezed my sides that burned from laughing so heartily. Something I was going to miss about the war were people like Harr who seemed to come out of no where and brighten my day with simply a bizarre personality.

* * *

After our encounter with Harr, Muarim and I tried our best to catch up with the rest of the group. We didn't fall too far behind since I was a fast runner and so was Muarim. The warm rays of sun beat down on our backs as we sprinted towards the battalion. Any sharp and uncomfortable feelings in my head ceased to occur. Everything was once again vivid and bright. Only a few miles from where we were was the castle of Crimea. It was built in layers upon layers of gray stone walls and pointed rooftops. I had never seen anything quite so elegant. Surrounding the castle was a thick patch of flourishing pine trees. Beyond the castle were verdant rolling hills with more lush greenery. My stomach lurched at the fact that soon the beautiful landscape would be a battlefield and a grave for some. Despite that unsettling truth I couldn't help but to take in the beauty of the heart of Crimea.

Finally, we had caught up with the pack and took our typical places in our battle formation. There were about four rows of fighters. Ike took his place in the front line and the rest of us formed behind him. To my right was Muarim, where he always demanded to be and to my left was Sothe. In front of me were two paladin units, Oscar and Kieran. On their wing was Harr who sat half asleep on his wyvern. Hopefully the sound of battle cries would wake him up. In the row behind Ike was Titania and Boyd, who had both proven themselves, over the course of the war, to be fierce opponents. With them was the hawk king Tibarn. Behind me was the highly skilled swordsman Zihark who stood in line with the thunder mage Ilyana. Next to Ilyana was Rhys with his mend staff in hand. Beside Rhys was Soren who already appeared to be lost in his wind tome.

I took a deep exhale and attempted to mentally prepare myself for battle until Sothe interrupted me. "Hey where'd you run off to before?" he asked. I looked to him in puzzlement.

"What do you mean? I just got here," I replied truthfully.

"Well yeah, but you were here a few minutes ago talking to me and then you just left." I quirked one eye brow up and scratched the back of my head.

"Nope wasn't me. I was talking to Muarim about...stuff. You must be imagining things." Sothe glared at me as if I was an idiot and shook his head in resistance.

"No way it was definitely you. How hard did you hit your head again?" I chuckled lightly at his remark but still found no truth to it whatsoever. As far as I knew I was talking to Muarim a few minutes ago, not Sothe. I knew I wasn't the one going insane.

"Maybe you hit _your_ head, because I definitely wasn't here a few minutes ago." Sothe scoffed loudly and rolled his eyes at my comment.

"Stop it! I'm not delusional...I know what I saw and it was you!" he nearly shouted while poking me in the chest. I took a step back and almost bumped into Muarim. Sothe never liked being wrong, that much was a trait he showed consistently.

"Yeah? Then prove it!" Sothe narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms tightly.

"Fine." He took a few paces forward and caught the attention of Oscar who was mounted on his steed. He turned around to face Sothe who looked incredibly small next to Oscar's mount. "Hi Oscar, you saw Tormod talking to me a few minutes ago right? Just verifying." Oscar looked to me with his perpetual squinty eyes. I shook my head as if to say "no I wasn't here. Sothe is out of his mind." He looked back to Sothe who stood patiently awaiting an answer.

"Yes, I do believe I saw you two talking a little while ago if I'm not mistaken. Why do you ask?" he replied. Sothe spun around and stuck his tongue out at me childishly.

"Oh, it's nothing just checking," said Sothe. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Oscar seemed so intelligent and sincere. Why would he say he saw me if I clearly wasn't there? Nothing added up. Oscar didn't seem like the type of person who would lie like that either. "See, I told ya!"

My face must have gone blank. Something wasn't right. As much as I wanted to think so, Sothe wasn't delusional. "But that's not-" I began. Before I could finish my thought the entire army focused their attention to General Ike. He pulled out his sword furiously.

"Any of you whose arms remember what it is like to battle, step forth! I would take of your strength now!" he bellowed. With his words and a final battle cry, the fight had officially begun.


	19. Chapter 19 The Final Showdown

**Author's Note: **Sorry it took a little while for this chapter to get up! Hope you enjoy this last bit of the war, I'm really excited to write what happens after this...where the real fun begins ;) Enjoy! Reviews are always appreciated!

* * *

Chapter 19: The Final Showdown

My heart pulsed powerfully against my burning chest. There was something about battling that I never could seem to get used to. The Crimean army had split into two groups, each led by an extraordinary fighter. One group was led by the hawk king Tibarn and the other by Ike. Ike's battalion took the right wing of the battlefield and Tibarn's took the left. Muarim, Sothe, and I were all put under Tibarn's command. Along with Boyd, Oscar, Rhys, and Soren. Nerves and fear made my hair stand on end. In truth, this battle was no different than any other. I fought alongside the same people and Daein was still the enemy.

Before our group pressed forward, Sothe grabbed me by the arm. "Hey if it's not too much would you mind watching my back for this battle? I'll watch yours too. This is looking pretty bleak," he said. The nervous fluttering in my stomach began to assuage.

"Damn, I thought you'd never ask," I replied. Usually during a battle Sothe would bolt out of sight almost instantly. "Thieves were loners", he always said. _Well not this time_, I thought to myself. I threw my arm over Sothe's shoulders and grinned. "Alright buddy let's do this!"

Sothe's lips perked up into a crooked smile. "Only because you seemed a little delirious before," he said.

"Wait…what? I'm not-" I unwound my arm from around his shoulder. I wondered if he was referring to the time when he had thought he saw me. Just then, our group began to charge forward. All hopes of talking to Sothe had vanished. The Hawk King led our battalion into the fray. Far up the battleground was a line of archers, knotting their arrows and pulling back the strings of their bows with their elbows raised high. Before them were a few lance wielding paladins mounted on white steeds. On their wing were two feral laguz beasts with gray fur and jet-black stripes. Upon seeing the feral beasts I cringed inwardly knowing they had been robbed of any sense of reason by a masochistic beorc. I didn't hate my own race…but the cruelties they inflicted on laguz made my blood boil with wrath. I wanted to try my best to avoid any feral ones, because after all who ever that laguz may have been certainly wasn't there anymore. It almost seemed like their consciousness was removed and all that was left was a walking corpse programmed to kill. It was just as inhumane as laguz slavery…if not more.

Subconsciously, I lit a flame in the palm of my hand that appeared to grow rapidly the more I thought about mistreatment towards laguz. I swore to myself I would not lay a hand on a feral one. I had done well to avoid them through the entire war, so this one last battle would not be any different.

Flames danced in my eyes as I glared at the Daein army who had done such a despicable thing. Hatred radiated off my skin like hot steam. I couldn't understand how anyone could possibly be that cold, it didn't seem natural. The crackling of growing flames in my hand grew ever louder. My hands nearly shook from all of the built up loathing. Then, I felt a cool grip on my shoulder. I supposed it felt so cool since the orbs of fire in both of my palms began to climb up my wrist, heating up my whole body. It sounds unpleasant, but it was something I was so accustomed to and I barely felt it anymore.

"Just let it go…we'll go around them," said Sothe. I uneasily nodded my head and pressed forward. As we sprinted to catch up with the rest of the pack an enemy paladin trotted towards us with a silver lance raise high above his head. I could tell he was mumbling something but it was impossible to hear since his helmet muffled his voice. As soon as I spotted him I knew I'd take him down. He was mine. A man willingly fighting alongside feral laguz was not a man at all. I curled my fingers into my flaming palm and outstretched my arm. Then, I closed one eye to assist my aim. Once I had aligned my hand with the paladin, I spread all five of my fingers apart and whispered a relatively powerful spell (I had memorized) that would be incomprehensible to any ears but my own. I stood back and watched as the flare engulfed the unsuspecting enemy. His steed stood on his hind legs in an uproar. As a result the paladin lost his hold and crumbled to the ground in complete and utter defeat.

Sothe took a few silent steps forward to the fallen enemy. I followed close behind him. Hardly any breath escaped the enemy's lips. There was no way he was causing anyone any more trouble. Sothe closely examined any items he was carrying.

"Need a vulnerary?" he asked as he sifted through the paladin's pockets that slightly glowed from small embers.

"They're always useful!" I replied. Sothe carefully slid the small pouch out of the enemy's pocket. However, as he did so, with whatever life the soldier clung on to, he grabbed Sothe's wrist and stopped him from pulling out the vulnerary. Sothe quietly laughed to himself and shook his head. With his free hand he unsheathed a small shiny knife that he surged towards the paladin's neck. I could imagine that the paladin could see his own reflection from the blade of the knife itself.

"Don't even think about it…do yourself a favor and accept your defeat unless you want to let go of all of your pride," said Sothe between his gritted teeth. The soldier released his grip and dropped his arm limply to his side.

"Big words coming from a thief like you," the soldier muttered in a strained voice. I could see the hostility glowing in Sothe's eyes that began to narrow. He stood up and stared for a moment at the fallen paladin with scorn written all over his face. I knew right after the enemy's comment that Sothe wouldn't take it very lightly. He raised his boot in the air and brought it down mercilessly against the soldier's face with a stolen vulnerary in his hand. A trail of thick blood trickled out of his nostrils.

"You just don't know when to quit, do you?" Sothe snapped back at the enemy.

"That was totally necessary, right?" I asked.

"Completely."

"Alright…moving on then!" Sothe tossed me the vulnerary and I caught it in midair. As we continued forward I could hear the strings of a bow being pulled back. Sothe appeared oblivious to the noise. I cautiously turned my head right and then left. By the time my head had reached the left side (where Sothe was blind) an arrow came spiraling into my view where it landed directly in Sothe's thigh. He let out a rippling scream and keeled over in pain. Blood dribbled down his leg, staining his pants.

"Sothe!" I yelled. I could see the archer not too far off in the distance, readying another arrow. _Not while I'm around,_ I thought to myself. Sothe clutched the arrow that jutted out of his leg. He tried desperately to yank it free but was unable. If anything, moving it around like that was making it worse and just agitating the wound. "Stop that! I'll take care of it, but first that archer has another thing coming…" Sothe scrunched his face in a distorted way from the agony of his pierced limb and attempted to nod his head. I stormed towards the archer and cupped both of my hands so they could house a healthy flame. Each of my steps that hit the pavement were louder than the last. My crimson eyes glowered through the archer's glare. He sent another arrow flying towards my face. Instead of dodging it, I faced it head on. I extended my arm and flicked my wrist outward to release a lower impact spell on the soaring arrow. Before it could graze my flesh it crumbled to the ground into a pile of ash. I smiled deviously as I was now only a few measly feet away from the doomed archer. "This is for Sothe," I said. With my other hand and a low mumble I released a cloud of blazing fire. Even after I had released the flare, the palm of my hand was still warm from holding the orb of fire. The enemy instantly screamed frantically from the burns that were eating away at his relatively pale skin. I quickly turned around since watching a person suffer (enemy or no enemy) was not something I enjoyed.

I raced towards Sothe to find him kneeling on the ground taking in short and shallow breaths. In that moment I silently thanked Rhys who had taught me how to heal. A stream of blood crisscrossed down Sothe's leg that was penetrated by the arrow. Upon looking at the injury it immediately took me back to when I had successfully pulled an arrow out of Rolf's arm not too long ago. Of course, I had Rhys at my side and I was in the sanctity of the medical tent, but now was no different than then. The same procedure needed to be done. _I want you to tightly grab hold of the arrow and pull it straight out_, Rhys's voice echoed through my mind like he was right next to me, telling me what to do. I did as I was instructed a few months ago and grabbed a tight hold of the arrow.

"Don't worry, I'm a pro at this," I said comfortingly. "But it might hurt so, don't stab me and say I didn't warn you." I gripped the arrow tighter and yanked it straight out in one clean motion. After I pulled out the arrow, to my extreme dismay, I noticed something was missing. Sothe immediately cried out in pain and whipped his head back.

"Dammit…I thought you were good at this!" he yelled. I stared blankly at the arrow in my hand that was evidently missing the steal arrowhead. My mind weaved with questions like, what in the hell did I do wrong? But I couldn't dwell on the inconvenience; we were on a battlefield after all. Someone could attack us at any given moment. So I tried my hardest to stay alert and tend to Sothe simultaneously.

"That sucker is coming out!" I promised. Sothe stared at me in terror. I could tell he only partially trusted my healing skills, since I was unable to remove the arrowhead. "I can see the glimmer of the arrow…I just need some time. Look out for anyone coming, got it?"

"Are you crazy? You're just going to dig into my leg like its nothing?" he asked fearfully. I studied the small rip in his beige baggy pants created by the arrow. It was big enough for me to stick my finger inside it.

"Do you have a better idea? We don't have time for anything clean. Just tell me if someone is coming." I wiggled both of my index fingers inside of the small tear of his pants and pulled them in opposite directions, creating a larger opening.

"Ripping my pants is _definitely_ going to solve all of our problems…" For the moment I ignored Sothe. Once the whole was big enough I could see the flesh wound much more clearly. Beneath a layer of what seemed to be muscle was the arrowhead that stood out with its steal shine. Blood cascaded around the wound that was turning a brighter crimson by the second. I assumed it was becoming infected from the arrowhead. The sooner I could get it out, the better. A part of me wished desperately that Rhys was nearby but then I had remembered what he told me "you'll never improve unless you practice." Recalling his words, I swallowed down my hesitance.

"Give me your knife," I demanded. Sothe looked at me like I was completely mad.

"Ohhh no you don't…." I didn't like to be stern but this situation unfortunately called for it.

"Just give me the damn knife! I have to do this!" Sothe unwillingly handed me his small silver knife. He breathed inward shakily and stared fixedly at what I was about to do. If fear could take a physical form, it was Sothe in that moment.

I clutched the green handle of the knife that was cool against my fiery palm. I searched for the arrowhead one last time. I held down the rest of Sothe's leg by his knee. I hated that I had to hurt him, but it was for his own good. Then, I steadily brought the knife closer to his wound. The tip of the knife descended into the first layer of muscle, leaving a pool of blood behind the further down it went. Sothe hissed and squeezed his eyes shut. I forced the knife in deeper until Sothe finally let out a petrified scream. Finally, I had struck something hard. It was the steel tip of the arrow. I vigilantly dug the knife underneath the arrowhead and flicked it up without any hesitation. By that point, Sothe's face was completely colorless. "Hang in there…it's out! Now I just need to heal it…no passing out on me, okay?" Sothe failed to respond and my worry reflex was triggered. I pressed my index and middle finger to his wrist. A faint beat was all that was to be felt, however his hands were ice cold. I knew he was losing way too much blood.

Suddenly I could hear the clapping of hooves against pavement. The sound grew louder; I assumed a paladin was approaching me. He had probably heard Sothe's scream from a mile away. I gulped nervously and hurried along with the healing spell. Clearing my head was impossible knowing I was about to be attacked. I ran my fingers through my hair tensely, knowing I wouldn't be able to heal Sothe without a clear mind. The smacking hooves became louder and louder until I was certain they were right behind me. Even with that information, I still tried frantically to mend Sothe's injury. On a spur of the moment, the ground shook with an electrifying thunder spell. I turned around hastily to see Soren standing not too far from me, bringing his hand down. Normally, I would have shouted out an overly enthusiastic thank you but this time I took Soren's rescue as an opportunity to clear my foggy head and heal Sothe.

After whispering a few ancient words, I focused all my energy towards my hand. I closed my eyes for maximum focus. A bead of sweat rolled down my forehead as my hand trembled from the intensity. I continued meditating any energy I had towards my hand until I could feel a warm sensation in my palm "Finally…" I muttered breathlessly. I fluttered my eyes open and I brought my hand to Sothe's injury. As soon as my hand made contact a bright light enveloped the wound entering every crevice of it. I pulled my hand away and watched the luminosity glow like a candle and close the wound.

"Everything well here?" came a voice directly behind me. I turned to see Soren standing above me with a tome tucked under his arm.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you! You saved my-"

"Save the talk for later. Does he need to fall back?" Sothe stirred at my side and slowly opened both of his eyes.

"Hell no," said Sothe. I looked to my friend, who was slowly gaining his sanity back. He brought himself to one knee and blew his hair out of his face.

"Very well," replied Soren. As soon as he saw Sothe pick himself up off the ground, Soren fled. I offered Sothe a hand to help him up. As he grabbed hold of my hand he winced slightly upon touching it.

"Damn!" he hissed. I giggled at his comment. My hands naturally heated up from using fire magic. I rarely noticed but I supposed a non-magic user would probably feel the excess heat.

"Sorry bout that! Oh and hate to break it to ya but… your pants have seen better days," I said with a grin. Sothe shook his head and sighed in annoyance. He looked down towards the large rip that went straight across the upper part of his pants.

"Thanks for that…" he replied sarcastically.

"Hey! That's what friends are for!" I grabbed Sothe by the forearm and dragged him up the battlefield before more enemies launched a surprise attack on us. Not too far off, I could see Tibarn and Ike crowd around a man on an abnormally large wyvern. There weren't nearly as many enemies left than there were to start with. The fight actually looked like it was thinning out. Sothe and I sprinted forward in search of more Daien's pesky soldiers.

For just a moment I thought I had seen someone with crimson eyes like mine but with dark hair and flaming red tips on the end. A headband was tied around his for head, like mine. The figure stared at me blankly for a moment. Before I could catch a better look at him he had disappeared almost as quickly as he appeared before me. _Is he a Daien soldier? Doesn't look like one…_If I wasn't in the middle of a battle I might have investigated the mysterious figure, but for now I would have to shrug it off.

While we continued on I could hear a low growl resonate. Along with the growl, the scratching of claws on pavement was also audible. My heart pulsed at the sound of those noises. I kept my eyes glued straight forward and I made sure not to turn around. The growling slowly became louder as were the scratching of the claws. _A feral one_, I thought to myself. It was so close now I could practically feel its hot steamy breath on the back of my neck. I eventually realized that running was pointless, it seemed that the laguz was going to catch me inevitably. I didn't know what to do; I certainly wasn't fighting a feral beast. So, I turned around to face the feral one. He looked very similar to the ones I had seen earlier, with gray fur and jet-black stripes. He was of the beast tribe, like Muarim.

"Stop," I said firmly to the beast. It glared demonically back at me while flashing his razor sharp teeth. Reasoning with a feral one probably seemed completely hopeless, but what other options were there? I would not lay a hand on the beast that much I was sure of. "You don't have to fight. I won't hurt you!" I yelled. Suddenly I could feel a tugging on the hood of my orange cape.

"Tormod, what the hell are you doing?" shouted Sothe. "He's feral, there's nothing you can-"

I ignored Sothe for the time and focused intently on the feral beast. "You don't need to fight…no one is forcing you. I swear I won't touch you." As I said those words I dropped my tome to the ground. I stared into the beast's black eyes. They showed no emotion, only blood thirst. I knew I wasn't getting through to him, but that was okay. As long as I had tried, then all was well. I lengthened my arms outwards and let out a long breath. "Go on…attack me!" I screamed. Sothe continued to tug me by the cape but I stayed cemented the ground. "This is my fight, Sothe. I need you to stay out of it." The beast dug his claws into the pavement as if to show his strength. He let out another ferocious ear piercing growl. "Well…come on! Scars on the back are shameful…so attack me!"

"TORMOD! You idiot, are you trying to get yourself killed?" The beast's claws went from the ground to my neck faster than I could blink my eye. It felt like a thousand small daggers burrowed into the side of my neck at once. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Sothe urgently trying to pull the beast off of me, but it really wasn't doing much. _I must not fight._ Before the nails could dig any deeper, a radiant light blinded all three of us. The feral one roared in agony and collapsed lifelessly to his side. My neck stung where the claws had been, but I knew I was very fortunate that the claws didn't get the chance to burrow further into my neck. By some divine intervention I truly wasn't injured fatally. The slashes from the claws tingled with a stinging sensation. I placed my hand around the wound where it felt hot and sticky with fresh blood. Sothe screamed urgently at me and appeared to be waving someone down. When vivid orange hair and pure white robes came into view, I knew it was Rhys who had saved me.

"That certainly is exhilarating!" said Rhys proudly. I looked to the healer who held his mend staff high above his head. It glowed to life with a luminous blue shine. The light felt cool and soothing against my burning neck. As the light spread, the pain from the gash slowly dispersed. "Does that feel a little better?"

I struggled to find my voice. I feared if I opened my mouth all that would come out were high-pitched squeaks. I was thankful to be intact but the laguz didn't know what he was doing or why he was doing it. His lifespan would have ended shortly at any rate but I couldn't help but to feel despair. A non-feral laguz would have had a choice in this kind of situation…but not a feral one. I couldn't stand how horribly unjust it was that a living creature could be robbed of its sense of self.

"And I thought you were insane _before_ this…" spoke Sothe. I rubbed the side of my neck instinctively. It no longer throbbed, however the part of skin where the claws had been was bumpy to the touch. I hoisted myself up off the ground and stood up. Sothe and Rhys did the same. Suddenly, it seemed like the entire army went completely silent. The only sounds were heavy breathing and hearts thumping. Everyone had turned to face where Ike stood over a fallen King Ashnard. He yanked his bloodied ragnell away from Ashnard's limp body and held the sword up towards the sky.


	20. Chapter 20 Departure

Chapter 20 Departure

The heavy storm clouds of war cleared their way from the Crimean sky. The air seemed purer and colors seemed brighter. Soldiers amongst the army appeared satisfied and content with their performance of the previous battle that went down as a solid victory for Crimea. Finally, Ike's homeland was set free from the oppression of Daien. It brought me great joy to be able to help in the effort of Crimea's liberation.

After the triumphant battle, soldiers circled in around Ike and Princess Elincia to wish them the best of luck in rebuilding their land that had been taken from them for what seemed like ages. Muarim and I patiently waited our turn for a last few words with Ike before we departed for the desert. It was hard to believe that by nightfall we would be well on our way home and the war would be nothing more than a memory. Although I feared the events of the war would still effect me in someway.

Amidst everything, I hadn't seen Sothe since the battle had officially ended. I knew he had to be around somewhere, but where? It was an inevitable fact that I'd have a difficult time saying good-bye to him after everything we had been through, the good, the bad, and the ugly. It all almost seemed like a dream that everything was truly over. I wasn't sure what the road ahead would be like without my friend, who was so easy to talk and identify with. I imagined an empty feeling but I couldn't allow myself to wallow in that feeling forever, I'd have to let go eventually.

As Devdan stepped aside, a pair of icy blue eyes met mine. I took a step forward and smiled brightly for Ike. "Well…I guess it's time for us to go home," I said.

"Take care…both of you! I'm very glad we met, you were a tremendous help, really," replied Ike. I waved my hand in objection.

"Nah, it was nothing! It was an honor to serve under you. Boy…do we have some stories to tell our friends in the desert or what? They're all waiting for us." Ike nodded his head and grinned. Muarim moved closer to my side and turned his attention to Ike.

"Ah…although war is a horrible thing…perhaps the gap between laguz and beorc is narrowing. Maybe we have all gained something of value from this experience after all," spoke Muarim.

"I would like to believe the same thing. It was truly a pleasure to meet you both! Have a safe journey home."

"Same to you. Farewell, General Ike!" Muarim and I began to walk away but as we did so I turned back around to face Ike and waved both of my arms in the air.

"Good-byeeeee Ike! Thanks for everything!" I shouted over the loud buzz of chatter. Ike responded with a smile and the nod of his head. I had a feeling that Ike was going to do some pretty amazing things, after all he certainty was capable of it. I thought it would be interesting if we were to meet again sometime in the future. Such things were always a possibility.

Muarim and I silently exited the scene. Muarim still seemed tense from the last conversation we had. The conversation had been a failure in the sense that I never did find out what happened the night I blacked out. At this point, I wasn't sure how much I wanted to know. I was curious, but it would have to once again wait for the appropriate time. We did have a long road ahead of us, so maybe it would come up somewhere along the way.

As we continued along I could see Rhys fiddling with his staff. I waved him down and shouted his name. He picked his head up and looked to me with delight. I jogged towards him and as I did so he dropped his staff carefully to the side. "Ah, Tormod! There is something I've been meaning to tell you," he said.

"What is it?" I asked. Whenever anyone says they need to "tell me something" I can't help but to feel my heart drumming against my chest. Isn't it that way with everyone though?

"I forgot to tell you something important the last time we talked and you may find this bit of information useful. On the outskirts of Begnion is where I believe Devlin's wife lives. Here's the part I failed to mention earlier…the woman owned a few laguz slaves."

"A slave owner? But, how do you know?" I asked curiously.

"A few days before Devlin…passed…he had rather violently complained to me about the inhumanity of it, so much so that he was planning on separating from his wife, and freeing the slaves himself. Of course he was unable to do so…but had he not died so suddenly I strongly believe he would have caused quite the uproar. Of course…as you know, laguz slavery had been outlawed by the late apostle."

"Wow…that's…"

"Unbelievable? Quite! Although slavery has been outlawed, some still discreetly practice it and Devlin's wife was not the type of woman who took no for an answer. I could be wrong but I've always suspected she still had slaves, if not more when she fled to Begnion. Since you are on your way to Begnion I thought you might want to know incase you were to run into her."

"I think I may have to rain on her parade! Thank you, Rhys! Oh, but just one thing doesn't really add up…why would your brother not separate from that crazy lady sooner?"

"Ah…that is because she was expecting. My brother was wholesome in the sense that he did not wish to abandon her in such a state. Especially since he had talked about running away with the child a few times. He was in a difficult position." I stared at Rhys in perplexity, wondering how he had forgotten such important details. I supposed it was irrelevant at the time, but it was indeed a large chunk of information to take in at once, but useful nonetheless. I made a mental note to pay a visit to this alleged laguz slave owner.

"I see…one more question, where can I find her?" I asked.

"On the western most tip of Begnion, there is a secluded marketplace that attracts many of the wealthy upper class beorc from the area. Before you reach the marketplace you will see an oasis, once you've reached that point you are in very close proximity to the market. It's full artisans and merchants selling rare items. I am certain Devlin's wife relocated amongst the wealthy merchants after my brother's death." I tried to mentally remember his directions. I would have to inform Muarim right away, who wasn't with me at the moment. As soon as I ran off to Rhys, he had gone to bid farewell to some other nearby soldiers.

"Alrighty sounds good! Looks like I got a whole bunch of fun waiting for me at home! Y'know Rhys, you sure do know a lot…how did you find out where this psycho lady lives?"

"Well after Devlin died, she informed my family she was leaving for Begnion and that she did not wish to be disturbed. I would have respected her wishes…had she not been carrying my nephew! So I traveled to Begnion several months later, assuming the baby was born, only to be rudely thrown out by a tall burly man. I never did meet my nephew…and I suppose he is out there somewhere. Perhaps it was the Goddess's intention that we were to never meet. But I suppose I wouldn't know him if I saw him, now would I?" Rhys let out a heavy sigh and stared towards the setting sun. The sky was beginning to turn a pastel orange with a few paintbrush strokes of pink and blue. It was still relatively warm despite the descending sun. I stared at the skies ambience as well, thinking about everything Rhys had said. I wasn't sure why, but a sunset had always reminded me of a person blushing or getting rosy on the cheeks. The orange sphere of light looked like it was melting into the horizon as if it were a liquid. As I took in the natural beauty I turned to Rhys.

"Maybe you have met him and you don't even know it! How freaky would that be? Ahhh! I've got goose bumps!" I proposed with an enunciated gasp. Rhys lightly chuckled and curved his lips into a smile.

"I will certainly miss your humor, Tormod! Don't ever change." I smirked as my laughter chimed in like a bell.

"I won't! Thanks for teaching me all about healing…I learned _so _much! You're really a great teacher! I healed Sothe today and I thought of everything you taught me and I did it! I like helping people, it makes you feel all good inside."

"I'm so glad! Of course I can't thank you enough for teaching me the ways of magic. It's quite a useful skill! I will never forget your kindness. Take care of yourself, okay?" Rhys put one of his delicate hands on my shoulder. _I guess this is it_, I thought to myself. It was weird to think that this could be the last time I see Rhys. I stared at his calm face and held a perpetual smile.

"You too! Well...I guess this is goodbye…" Rhys shook his head and held a serene face.

"Just remember that a farewell is always necessary to meet again. And meeting again is certain for those who are friends." I pulled Rhys into a hug and stayed there for a few seconds. He was always capable of finding something positive out of any situation.

"Thank you..." I slowly pulled myself away from my comrade. "Till we meet again?"

"Of course. Farewell and grow strong!" I whole-heartedly nodded my head and marched away with a heavy heart full of mixed feelings. I tried not to look at my comrade as I walked back to Muarim who was waiting for me. He shook his large hand through my hair and smiled comfortingly at me, sensing my wistfulness. He didn't speak a word to me, however, until we had found Sothe. He sat with his knees tucked into his body and his arms wrapped around them underneath a tall lush pine tree that seemed to be abundant around the castle. He held downcast eyes and morose expression on his face. A few strands of his hair covered his left eye and as it did so he blew it out of his face in irritation.

"Little one, you should say goodbye to your friend now. It's best if we leave before nightfall. I'll be waiting," said Muarim. He gently patted me on the head before he went off to fetch the supplies we would need for the journey home. Before I confronted Sothe, I stared at him for a little while longer wondering why he seemed so dismayed. The war was over, was that not something to be cheery about? He could go home and continue on with his life. Surely, something was bothering him from his appearance. I casually sauntered to where he sat, twirling a piece of grass between two of his fingers. As I approached him he looked up at me with a frown on his lips. I stood before him with my knees slightly bent and I cocked my head as far to the side as I physically could without pulling a muscle in my neck or even snapping it completely to get as close to upside down as possible.

"Found it! There's a smile!" I exclaimed. The corners of Sothe's lip slightly perked up as he watched me.

"You look ridiculous," he said.

"Maybe. But, hey it worked…. well a little! Would it have been better if I stood on my head?" Sothe playfully rolled his eyes and rested his cheek in the palm of his hand while his elbow leaned on his knee.

"Possibly…" he replied. I put my hands to my hips and shook my head in disagreement.

"Sothe, you're so demanding! You ask too much of me!" I declined.

"You offered." My lips broke into a smile as I started to snicker. When I started to laugh, Sothe grew quiet and stared at the ground again like it was something interesting and not just a mixture of grass and dirt. His mood swing troubled me. So, I sat down next to him with my legs crisscrossed.

"Okay…okay…clearly something is wrong. What is it? Wait! Are you upset about your pants? Ahh! I'm sorry, I'm SO sorry! I didn't want to do it but I had to…they were _really_ nice pants too…oh, I feel horrible…hey, I bet you could fix it up with a needle and some-"

"Tormod. I really don't care, it's fine," he interrupted. I let out a heavy sigh of relief.

"Well that's good to hear! You scared me for a second there. So…if that's not the problem then…what is?" I hated to see my friend in a lousy mood; it wasn't like him to be so gloomy.

"Things are going to be rough back home…I don't know what the future has in store for me there, but I'm heading back regardless." As he spoke I suddenly realized Sothe never told me where he lived. I had asked him once before but he ignored the question saying it was unimportant or something along those lines.

"Where is home exactly?" I asked inquisitively.

"Daein…I only joined the Crimean army because I'm trying to find someone who's like family to me. She left me all alone in Daein...so I have to find her." My eyes couldn't help but to nearly pop out of their sockets in shock. I had never once suspected Sothe was from the opposing side, but then again he seemed to avoid the subject.

"I had no idea…you fought your own country this whole time? That couldn't have been easy…Daein's got to be a mess right now! So, you're really going back?"

"Well, it's my homeland after all!" I nodded my head as I began to understand what Sothe was feeling. I wished I had known where he was from during the war…maybe I could have helped him in some way. I couldn't imagine watching my own homeland crumble and having to contribute in the effort. I wasn't sure how Sothe could do it, but I assumed whoever he was looking for was pretty darn important to him.

"You'll find her, I know you will." I didn't doubt what I said at all. Sothe was clever and if this person truly meant that much to him, he'd undoubtedly find a way back to her. He looked up to me with a small glimmer of hope in his eyes.

"I better get going then…" he said as he began to stand up.

"Hey! Hey! You're not going anywhere just yet! We need to talk." Sothe stopped in his tracks and faced me once again. I could still see pain in his eyes.

"Oh right, Muarim told you everything I assume?" I shook my head in disagreement. Sothe let out an irritated grunt.

"No that's not what I meant…but no he didn't tell me…I think we'll talk about it when we're on our way home. But…I really wanted to know why you thought I looked delirious before? Remember on the battlefield you said-"

"When you were talking to me before you were stumbling around a lot and seemed half asleep or just really weak for some reason. You kind of seemed like you were looking for something too…how is it that you remember none of this?" I could almost feel a headache coming on. What the hell was happening? I desperately wanted to know why Sothe had thought he'd seen me. I sighed in annoyance.

"It just doesn't make sense! I'm positive I was in one place and you're positive I was in another. Which one of us is right? There's only one of me!" Sothe shook his head hopelessly.

"I just don't know…but I'm not the only one who saw you. Y'know…I kind of wish I could stick around long enough to see you crack this mystery."

"Haha! Yeah…I've got my work cut out for me." Sothe grinned and looked at me in a finalizing way, like this was truly it.

"Well Tormod…we sure have been through a lot, haven't we? Thanks for all the excitement, things never got boring with you around." My heart pulsed nostalgically.

"Of course things were never boring! Ahh Sothe it's gonna be weird with out you…" He grew silent for a moment in a somber way. He turned his face to the setting sun as if to hide something. The sky was now without a trace of blue in it. It was fully orange and pink, almost unnaturally.

"Try not to get yourself into too much trouble, okay?" he said in a strangled voice.

"Same for you!" I replied in a voice that was one pitch higher than I would have liked. I sniffed involuntarily as my nose started to run. I couldn't see Sothe's face but I did see him rub his eye with a balled up fist. _I will not cry, I will NOT cry. _There was a silence between us with the exception of the noises of sniffling and shaky breathing. Without my control, a small warm droplet of water spilled out of my tear duct. Sothe finally turned away from the sunset to face me.

"Tormod…are you crying?" he said unsteadily. I looked to my friend who had a fresh tear tumbling down his cheek. His eyes were slightly red but I could imagine myself to look the same way, though I would never admit my weakness.

"Tch NO! Are you crying?" Sothe wiped his hand over his cheek.

"NO!"

"Good!" Another tear escaped my eye and glided towards the corner of my mouth, where I could taste its saltiness. It took everything I had to only let a few tears leak. Thousands of cries pounded against my closed mouth, trying to break the barrier I had formed. Sothe covered his face with his hand and sealed his eyes shut tensely. "S-Sothe….we-we're always gonna be fr-friends right?"

He pulled his hand away from his face to reveal his red puffing eyes. He nodded his head. "Y-yeah…we're definitely friends." I finally couldn't hold back anymore, the walls I built at last shattered. I opened my arms and pulled my friend into a hug. We both openly sobbed. It was almost impossible to catch my breath between cries and sniffles.

"I'M STILL NOT CRYING!" I yelled.

"ME NEITHER!" We held on to each other for a little while longer. I suddenly became plagued with doubts on whether or not I was willing to let go of such a great friend.

"I'm SO sorry about your pants!" I wailed.

"Stop using that as an excuse to cry, you idiot!" I squeezed Sothe tighter and stained his shoulder with falling tears.

"They were so nice! It's not fair!" I could feel my shoulder dampening where Sothe rested his head.

"They really weren't that great! Why are you such an idiot?"

"I don't know!" Sothe let out a strange choking sound that was meant to be laughter. My heart thumped in sorrow. I let go of Sothe and wiped all of the wetness on my face away with my arm. Sothe did the same and we both sniffed back any remaining sobs. We both knew we couldn't stand there and cry forever.

"Friends?" he asked. Through all of my trouble I managed to force a genuine smile.

"Friends." Sothe stuck his hands in his pockets and looked towards his feet.

"Bye, Tormod."

"Good bye, Sothe. See you later…" I slowly backed away from my friend. With reluctance I turned my head away from him and commenced the long walk to Muarim. I could feel Sothe's stare on my back, but I let it be. I feared if I turned around, I might go back. As I walked away I took one last look at the sunset. The orange sphere of light sunk into the horizon. The setting of the sun was a lot like friendship. The sun must set if it is to rise, just as a goodbye is necessary to meet again.

When I reached Muarim, he looked to me with concern. I tried to mask any sadness I still felt. Why was saying good-bye so difficult? I bit down on my lip to stop it from trembling. "It's okay, little one. We can stay a little longer if you like, it's fine with me." I shook my head and threw my arms around his waste.

"No…let's go home," I whispered. Muarim rubbed my back soothingly and patted the top of my head.

"If that is what you want." I let go of him and he threw a small beaten up bag over his shoulder, probably full of food and water for the journey home.

* * *

The sun had completely melted away and the sky was now dark with only the moon and a few twinkling stars to illuminate our path. As we walked eastward I informed Muarim of the potential slave owner waiting for us in Begnion. We decided that we'd investigate the scene first before arriving at home, since it was on the way.

With each step I took towards home it became more and more difficult to continue on. A splash of over powering weariness fazed me. The feeling was odd and unexpected since I was usually full of energy, even in the hours of the night. Plus, I hadn't felt any signs of exhaustion prior. My eyelids threatened to close on me and my focus grew weaker. I almost felt as if I was caught between a state of dreaming and consciousness.

Although it was pitch dark I could see a faint glow of two red orbs in the distance. I squinted my eyes to get a clearer look. What I saw then was a pair of crimson eyes staring through me. The eyes reminded me of my own and the mysterious figure I had seen briefly in battle. Almost as quickly as I had noticed them, they had vanished. If I had not felt so drained I probably would have been more curious but my sudden exhaustion got the better of me. As I marched, I swayed into Muarim a few times, mumbling a few apologies here and there. I couldn't be sure but I believe I had heard him call out for me a few times before he knelt down facing away from me so I could climb on his back. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he tucked his arms underneath my legs. Then, he hoisted me up and continued walking normally.

If I had the strength to I would have attempted to mumble a thank you. Instead I let my head droop on his shoulder and allowed my eyes to finally close so I could fall into a deep sleep.


	21. Chapter 21 March to the Oasis

Chapter 21 March to the Oasis

I awoke to the long forgotten feeling of hot desert sun beating down on my face. The second I had felt the burn of the scorching sun I knew where I was. I looked to my right to see nothing but sand dunes for miles and miles. Light wind picked up the sand as it gently blew by. The sand grains swirled in the air and then settled as the gale died down. Before the dunes a wavy line of blistering air rested on top of the sand. All the familiar sights and feelings nearly brought a smile to my face. Before a grin could form, however, memories from last night chased it away. I shook my head to rid myself of the painful thoughts.

"Little one, are you awake?" asked Muarim. I had nearly forgotten he had been carrying me through the desert the entire time while I was resting. The sudden realization sent guilt projecting towards me.

"Yeah! I'm good! How long was I out for? Have we stopped at all?" I replied in rapid fire. Muarim chuckled softly and looked towards the sweltering sun. It was far past its highest point.

"It's well after noon by now…and we had left by nightfall yesterday. I decided it would be best just to continue forward and not stop, so we could cover more ground. But if you would like to we can take a break." The guilty feeling squeezed my stomach again. I never intended Muarim to carry me for hours through the desert without even an ounce of sleep after such a fierce battle.

"Muarim! You jerk! Why don't you ever think of yourself? You have to be exhausted by now! How are you even standing up?" I unhooked my arms from around his neck and planted my feet into the warm sand. I jogged in front of Muarim to stop him from going any further. I was shocked to see not even a single bag forming under his eyes. He didn't seem terribly exhausted like I had imagined him to be. "How…"

"I'm fine, little one. It was you I was worried about…I'd never seen you get so tired so suddenly even after a battle."

"Yeah…I don't usually get like that. Oh well, it's not important I guess. So how much further to the oasis?" Muarim put his hand on his forehead to shield his eyes from the sun as he looked straight ahead, contemplating how much longer we would have to trek.

"I'd say it couldn't be too far from here. We should get there well before nightfall." I grinned inwardly knowing we were almost at our destination. I moved out of Muarim's way and stood by his side again.

"Then I guess we press forward if we're that close. Plus, an oasis always means water!" We glanced at one another and nodded our heads simultaneously. Oases were like a jewel in the desert. There weren't many of them and they ranged vastly in size. Some were large enough to sustain a town and others were simply a small isolated area of vegetation. Whether it is large or small, typically an oasis was surrounded by a spring, which was crucial for trade and transportation routes out in the desert. It didn't come as too much of a surprise to me that this market Rhys had spoken of was in such close proximity to the oasis.

At the thought of such relief, Muarim and I continued our sweltering march through the arid desert. As I walked I kicked up some sand that whipped the back of my leg. At the point we were at, any normal being would have easily passed out from heat exhaustion but my immunity to heat and Muarim's excessive vigor were what kept us moving. Our limited water supply soon depleted. I squeezed the very last drop of water frantically out of the canteen. The droplet was so insignificant in size that I could barely feel its tickle against my steaming tongue. I could see Muarim struggle to extract his last drop as well. Both of us being out water was unsettling, all I could do was fill my thoughts with the oasis surrounded by water and vegetation. From the absence of water my lips began to dry out and stiffen. Soon enough I could feel with my tongue tiny valleys on the surface of my lips where they were beginning to crack. Licking them became useless.

I picked my head up towards the sizzling sun and squinted my eyes from its incandescence. I sighed heavily and pealed my eyes away from the fiery sphere. Soon, I was able to the feel sizzling on my cheeks where the sun was shining on it. My skin absorbed the burning rays as I winced in discomfort. The sun was never forgiving on skin as fair as mine. Normally I would wear a cloak that shielded my skin from the unbearable effects of sunburn. This time, I wasn't fortunate enough to have it with me. I would just have to endure it.

Before long, I lost track of how long we were traveling through the desert. I was wishing I had my cloak to ward away the sunburn that was spreading quickly to the rest of my skin that was exposed. It would have proven to be extremely useful…and yet there I was scorching under the merciless sun. My lips and throat were completely parched. I tried to relieve the dryness by swallowing repeatedly but my efforts were mostly a waste.

Not too far off, in the distance a patch of flourishing vegetation sprouted from the sand. With each step I could see more and more deep green palms that rustled in the warm breeze. Surrounding the palms was a vast spring of sparkling water. A trim of green fertile grass outlined the brim of the spring. Beyond the body of water were scattered bushes each more verdant than the last. I rubbed my eyes and blinked several times to be sure it wasn't my mind playing tricks on me. Each time I reopened my eyes I saw the same miracle spring full of thick greenery. I stopped dead in my tracks and for the first time since my departure, I smiled with all of my teeth. I slightly bent my legs and drooped my head downwards to catch my breath. "There! There…it is! The…the oasis!" I breathed heavily. I silently said a few prayers of gratitude. Muarim took a few steps beyond me and stared at the jewel of the desert. I picked my head up to take another gander. Past the clump of greens and water I could see buildings…several of them all with similar brown tiling rooftops. "This has to be the place! Thank you everything that is holy!" I dropped to my knees and gazed in wonderment at the oasis. _How have I never seen this place before? I've lived in the desert my whole life_, I thought to myself. "Look at all that water…so much!" Muarim stayed silent and still. Before I could say anything to him a sharp burning pricked the skin on my knees where I was kneeling. I hissed out loud in pain. I dug my hands into the sand to help myself stand up but as I did so the desert sand scorched the palms of my hands as well. A painful cry escaped my parched lips. My muscles shook as I continued to attempt to pick myself up off the sand that felt more like burning coals. I wanted to hit myself over the head for not remembering the hellish temperature of the sand that had turned red around my knees and hands. After another shrill scream, a tall shadow towered over me.

"Little one! Do you not remember how to survive in a desert? Has it really been that long?" He reprimanded. Before I could reply he wrapped one arm around my back and the other around the backs of my legs. He lifted me up effortlessly and held me like a small child, but I guess that's what I was to him.

"Hey! Put me down! I'm not a baby, I can walk!" I yelled. Muarim shook his head and continued walking forward towards the oasis. I squirmed under his grasp but his grip was too strong for me to break free.

"Look how badly you've burnt your skin," he began. I raised one of my hands up. The skin was cracking and bleeding. The blood cascaded down my wrist. Then, I looked to my knee that was in a similar cracked and bleeding state. I shuddered upon looking at it. "I forget how fragile beorc are."

"But-"

"Protecting you is my first priority. I'm not letting you walk like this, okay?" I nodded my head hesitantly.

It was only a short walk from where we were to the oasis. When we had finally arrived Muarim gently placed me on a patch of grass near the spring. The blood on my hands and knees stopped oozing freely. It was mostly dried up and a shade lighter than it was before.

The water of the spring was crystal clear. On the surface of the water I could see the reflection of overhanging palm trees. As I took in the glistening water a tearing sound broke my concentration. I turned to Muarim who was dipping a piece of blue fabric into the water. The side of his shirt was ripped with a few loose threads hanging down from it. He ringed the wet piece of fabric over the spring and brought it over to me. He carefully grabbed my hand and applied pressure to it with the wet fabric. As he did so it slightly stung but I tried not to grimace.

"Little one…you must be more careful. Even though you are used to heat nobody is completely immune to burns," he cautioned.

"Sorry, Muarim…I wasn't thinking," I replied in embarrassment. Muarim took my other hand into his and wiped away the dried up blood. He dipped the fabric into the spring again and squeezed it free of excess water. He brought it to my knee this time. As he wiped it clean my face twisted in pain. The knee he was cleaning felt especially singed compared to my two hands.

"Does this one hurt?" he asked in concern. I looked up to him and nodded my head. As he took the shirt fabric away from my knee I noticed an x-shaped scar where my skin must have cracked. Muarim sighed disdainfully and began to wipe down my other knee. _Another scar to add to the collection._ I rubbed my hand against the side of my neck to feel the bumpy claw marks of the feral laguz. As I brought my hand away I noticed Muarim was staring at me.

"What is that?" he asked curiously. I gulped and instinctively brought my hand back to my neck.

"N-nothing!" I shouted back. He moved closer to me and fixed his gaze on my neck where my hand was shielding it.

"Let me see," he said calmly. I shook my head restlessly and dropped my eyes to the ground. "Little one…" If it wasn't for the sincerity and concern I saw in his eyes I would have kept my hand glued to my neck. But I slowly moved it away to reveal the scars beneath my hand. Muarim gasped in shock upon seeing the claw marks. His eyes widened in fear. "When did this happen?"

"Yesterday...I didn't fight back," I admitted simply.

"What do you mean you didn't fight back? How could you be so…so…"

I narrowed my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest. "Stupid?"

"No…not that. I was going to say reckless. Little one, feral laguz are dangerous! You could have been killed…"

"I promised myself I wouldn't hurt any feral ones because it's not fair…it's not fair to whoever that laguz used to be." Muarim sighed deeply and shook his head.

"I see." I was somewhat shocked that he seemed to drop it so easily. I supposed he had agreed with my reasoning or he didn't want to argue with me. He eventually grew completely silent. I was unsure how to fill it at that point without coming off as awkward so I scooted myself closer to the spring. I cupped my hands together and filled them with water. I slurped the refreshing liquid completely dry out of my hands. I greedily shoveled more and more water down my baked throat. Soon, my whole face was drenched but I didn't care at all, it felt revitalizing. I continued to drink to my heart's content. Once I was completely hydrated I stared at my reflection in the water. My cheeks were pink from sunburn and my eyes were tired and dark. Underneath my left eye was a black crescent shaped ring. My eyebrows pulled together in confusion. I applied pressure to it and felt a surge of anguish upon touching it.

"That's weird…I don't remember getting a bruise underneath my eye," I thought out loud. Muarim quickly turned his attention to me and then to the ground. His face contorted in pain and something else…it almost looked like guilt. He bowed his head in what seemed to be shame and closed his eyes shut.

"Muarim? Are feeling okay?"

* * *

**Author's Note:** If anyone has seen Tormod's character portrait from Radiant Dawn you may have noticed an x-shaped mark on his knee. You have to look at a relativly big picture to see it, but it's there without a doubt. So I thought I'd incorporate how that came to be into this story, since it's not explained. Anyway, thanks for reading! The next chapter will be better :)


	22. Chapter 22 Unwanted Encounter

Chapter 22 Unwanted Encounter

My laguz companion stood silent at my side. I wondered if it was something I said that triggered his stillness. Whatever the reason was, ever since we had arrived at the oasis something appeared off about him. I picked myself up off the ground and stood in front of Muarim. He avoided making eye contact with me for the moment so I tugged on his torn shirt to get his attention. "Muarim…are you feeling okay? We can rest here, I'm fine with that."

"N-no…I cannot," he replied. I tilted my head to the side in bewilderment. Muarim turned in the opposite direction and pointed to a wooden sign sticking up out of the sand. A majority of the sign was buried but the part that was surfaced had a name painted across it.

"Karoo?" I read out loud.

"Would you go on without me, little one?"

"Without you? Of course not! What do you take me for?" I replied sharply. He lowered his golden eyes from the half-buried sign to the sand and chuckled darkly.

"Very well," he said simply. A feeling of confusion pervaded my thoughts. I couldn't imagine what possessed him to ask such a question. I'd never abandon the one who took me in and raised me. Just the thought made me sick. Without any more words, Muarim marched forward towards the desert town of Karoo. I jogged to keep pace with him and deliberated what was wrong. I glanced at his face and noticed a strange readiness about him. For the time, I decided not to press it.

Inside the town there was a low buzz of chatter. On nearly every last corner was a different kiosk with a merchant selling his goods. Rushing people shoved past one another, several carrying baskets on their heads. Every building shared similar structure and color with brown tiled rooftops. Nearly every house was identical except one. Past the kiosks and the merchants was a short barren trail to a sprawling manor. It was shielded off with a black gate that covered every which side. The house appeared impenetrable since the tips of the gate were sharp as daggers.

The people of the town seemed to pay no mind to us at first as they went about their daily routine. Muarim stared blankly at the hustle of people. I wondered what was going through his mind. He crouched on one knee so we were level, and gripped my shoulder with his hand. He took his free hand and lightly traced the bruise underneath my eye. "Little one, I have failed you," he whispered. He moved his hand to the side of my neck where the bumpy claw marks were. "If I cannot protect you, then I have no purpose amongst beorc. Perhaps you were better off with your…maybe I shouldn't have…ah well it does not matter now."

"Muarim, what are you talking about? What's going on?" I asked nervously.

He looked at me in a finalizing way. He scanned me up and down and weakly pulled off a smile. "You've grown so much…in such a little amount of time, beorc certainly are fascinating."

"Muarim?"

He moved his head closer to my ear and whispered, "Please forget what you see here and run home, my little one. Live free…" I shoved him away from me and clutched both of his shoulders.

"Muarim! Why are you-" before I could say what I needed to say Muarim shrugged my hands off of his shoulders and stood up. He faced the crowd of hurrying beorc. Then, everything happened so fast that I barely had time to react. A small girl with a high brunette ponytail crashed into Muarim's side. Without looking up, she mumbled a quick apology. "Sorry, Mister! I wasn't looking where I was going. Hehe! I need to be more care-" Suddenly her cheerful expression fell from her youthful face. Her eyes nearly shook as they gawked at Muarim's green furry ears. She then dropped her bulging eyes to his green tail that wagged habitually back and fourth. Her jaw nearly hit the floor and she stumbled backwards upon realizing that Muarim was a laguz. She fell on her bottom and let out a yelp. "F-f-ur a-and a t-tail…s-s-s-subhuman!" she cried while pointing at Muarim. Upon her yelling, the crowd fell deathly silent. My heart felt like it was failing me as I was beginning to realize what Muarim was doing.

Just like that, we had an audience. People stopped in their tracks to see what the commotion was. Terror and scorn was etched on their faces. "Subhuman!" boomed another voice.

A large balding man took a few steps closer to confirm the rumors. "I-it's true! A subhuman! How dare you come here!" he shouted. A younger man with short brown hair approached Muarim as well. He grabbed him by the collar only to shove him down brutally. Muarim kept his balance and temper.

"Filthy beast! Damn sub-human, you need to learn your place in society! Human towns are too good for you!" yelled the young man hatefully. Before long a crowd of enraged townspeople encircled Muarim. An older heavyset woman dared to take a step closer.

"Ugh! How horrendous! Go on! Scat!" she motioned with her hands for him to flee. Muarim avoided her loathing glare and kept his eyes glued to his feet. "Fine! Then I'll just move you myself! How do you like this?" She pushed him backwards forcefully but Muarim still managed to keep his footing.

"M-monster!" yelled a high pitch voice within the crowd. Soon, the circle around him began to get tighter and tighter until I could no longer see what was happening. All I could hear were the shouts of the townspeople and the disturbing sounds of fists smashing into bone. I couldn't take the inhumanity much longer. Anger bubbled in my blood. My face turned red with hate. I knew I couldn't hold back any longer.

"Stop it!" I screamed. I desperately shoved my way through the angry mob only to be pushed to the floor by several different bodies trying to make their way to Muarim. _Bloodthirsty savages,_ I screamed in my head. As I stood up a young girl whizzed past me with several stones in her hands. I brought my arm down to knock the stones out her hold.

"Hey! You big meany! Those are my stones!" she hollered. Dozens of more people rushed past me in hopes of getting a whack at Muarim. I had never felt so powerless before. I wanted to throw my hands over my ears as the sound of heavy punches grew louder and louder. The noises felt familiar in a frightening way. As a last resort I turned to my magic. I muttered the ancient language under my breath and felt the heat of fire roar to life in the palms of my hands.

"Stand back!" I yelled furiously. To my surprise, the people ignored the flames in my hands and continued to shove their way to Muarim like a bunch of mindless animals. I had never felt the urge to kill a man like I did in that moment. "I SAID STAND BACK!" I roared with a new ferocity in my voice. I raised my palm in the air and aimed my orb of fire to a man with a pointy rock in his hand. "Elfire!" He fell to the ground and shrieked in agony with flames crawling up his back. A few faces began to notice what I was doing and hurriedly stepped over the fallen man.

I kept the glowing flames bouncing in my palms this time as I tried once again to push angry people out of my way so I could get to Muarim before they beat him lifeless. I would never live with myself if I had let that happen. Every fuming person I pushed away let out a sharp cry of pain as I let the fire in my palm burn into their skin. "I'll burn every last one of you into a pile of ashes! OUTA MY WAY!" I boomed. I singed anyone who dared to stand in my way until finally I had reached Muarim. A line of blood trickled down his forehead. Both of his nostrils dripped blood and his cheeks were turning a shade of black and blue. His shirt was completely tattered and barely covered his chest.

I focused my energy on the four men that were still swinging punches. I muttered a few hushed words and cleared my head. It would take a great deal of concentration to take out the four men without harming Muarim. My head pulsed from the dexterity of it until I finally released the spell. It came out stronger than I had imagined. Multiple red and orange flames danced towards the bloodthirsty brutes and scorched their skin immediately upon contact. I was never comforted by screams before, but that moment was an exception. I shoved my boot into one of the savage's sides and kicked him away from my laguz friend. I did the same to the other three men without so much as a drop of mercy. As soon as they were out of my path I stood in front of Muarim with my arms stretched out.

"Don't come any closer or I swear I'll kill you!" I cried. My breaths grew heavier from using so much magic. A bead of sweat tumbled down my forehead. My chest felt ready to burst with repressed anger. My knees and hands shook with rage as I stood over Muarim who remained silent.

The mob took a few careful steps back but refused to retreat completely. "That boy is defending a subhuman and he's a mage!" shouted a voice in the crowd. A part of me wanted to break down. I wanted to buckle my knees and bury my face inside my warm sweaty hands. Muarim, who meant everything to me, clearly wanted to throw his life away. I couldn't imagine what drove him to such an extreme but the thought of losing him made my chest throb.

"Stay away little one…I mean it…get out of here…this is for the best…" he managed to say. I wanted to smack him for speaking such obscene words.

"You're not getting rid of me that easily! I don't know why you're doing this and I don't know what you're hiding from me…but you're all I have…so I'll die before I let anyone else touch you," I replied. Suddenly the mob grew quiet and still. The only unnatural sound I could hear was the clacking of heals against pavement. I turned around to see a woman with long red flaming hair and scarlet eyes approach me. She wore a long red satin dress with a pink bodice that hugged her body tightly. The dress split towards the side and revealed the skin of her leg. Her skin tone was fair and relatively pale. Around her neck and down her back was a long gold cape that skimmed the ground as she walked. Layers of jewelry jingled as she carried herself. She sported three gold rings, large hoop earrings, and a thick gold necklace embedded with small diamonds. As the wind picked up it moved her hair away from her face revealing that it measured well past her hips. She looked to me and smirked. Then, she turned her attention to Muarim who sat on the ground.

"Muarim, how lovely it is to see you again," she began sarcastically. He narrowed his eyes at her and frowned in contempt. "I never would have thought you'd come back so freely. Have you finally realized where sub-humans like yourself belong in this world?" she added coldly. Muarim snarled and gritted his sharp teeth together. I balled my hands up in fists to stop myself from pouncing. My heart raced wildly in wrath.

The woman flashed her eyes to me again. "I see you've brought Tormod back as well. This is very unexpected. Ah but I suppose a piece trash like you never could have raised a human child." I dug my nails into my skin so intensely that I started to draw my own blood. _How does she know me?_

"Hey, you better watch your mouth! Muarim is a _laguz_, not a piece of trash for you to step on," I scolded. The woman snickered and took a few paces closer to me and studied my body up and down.

"Tormod…where did you learn such a silly word from? Laguz? Is that what Muarim told you to call sub-humans? Ugh, he was always such a horrible influence on you from the beginning." She eyed me up and down again and placed her soft delicate hands on my sunburnt cheeks. I shrugged her away and backed up closer to Muarim. "Oh…you're so grown up now! It brings me such happiness to see you again even if that beast has tainted you. But what is this? Are these claw marks…and bruises?" she spoke in shock. She turned away from me and faced Muarim. Then, she brought her foot high in the air and forcefully crunched her heel into his side. He grunted in pain and dropped his head to the ground. "You! How dare you! I know this is your doing! You good for nothing-"

"STOP IT! Leave him alone! He didn't do this to me!" I yelled. I grabbed her by her flowing golden cape and she brought her foot away. Muarim carefully sat up and held his bleeding side with his hand.

"I take full responsibility, master," said Muarim bitterly. I gasped audibly and my jaw felt like it was touching the ground. Master? Was I hearing things right? "I hit him but with good reason." Suddenly my head felt like it was going to burst. The feeling was agonizingly familiar.

_Then, everything seemed to happen so fast that it all seemed to occur in less than a blink of an eye. He curled his hand into a fist and raised it in the air above his head. I didn't even have a chance to flinch or dodge when he brought his fist down forcefully across my cheek. The harsh impact caused me to stumble backwards to the ground. Pain burst through my entire face. I brought my hand up to my mouth and spit into it. When I pulled my hand away I noticed it was stained red._

Memories of the night I had forgotten flooded back into my brain.

_"He...he…he hit me…Muarim hit me!" I wailed. I clutched the grass tighter and pulled it out of the earth._

As much as I tried I couldn't feel that terror and angst I felt in that moment.

_"He hates me….Muarim hates me…I'm no good…" I cried. Sothe wrapped his arm around my shoulder. I leaned on him and let even more tears flow down my face like a river escaping a dam._

The pain and sorrow just wasn't there like it was then. Had I subconsciously forgiven him over time?

The fiery women whipped Muarim across the cheek with the back of her hand. When she pulled her hand away in satisfaction, Muarim's cheek was a burning shade of red. "You're lucky I don't end your life right now, you wretch!" she rebuked. Muarim laughed darkly upon getting backhanded. He laughed in the same way he did before we had entered Karoo.

"Yes, I did hit him. But it was only to keep him from ever meeting you…he would be shamed to know of his past. I only wanted to spare him," said Muarim.

"But you failed, didn't you? Because here we all are. Oh, I do love reunions," replied the woman.

"I told him to run but he chose not to obey me. Little one…we can't be a family anymore…I'm sorry…please just run away."

"Muarim…" I muttered shakily. Tears threatened to well up in my eyes.

"No one is running anywhere! You…" she pointed to Muarim, "you shouldn't even be allowed to breath the same air as us humans! You _will_ get what you deserve." I held back my urge to fry the red-haired woman to the best of my ability. Anger coursed through my veins like it never had before.

"Hey! You can't talk to Muarim like that! Leave him alone!" I screamed.

"Tormod…you haven't changed in the slightest…it's a pity," said the woman.

"Who are you? How do you know me and Muarim? Answer me, now!" I barked. The woman breathed inward sharply and widened her eyes.

"Oh my…have you really forgotten your own mother's face?"


	23. Chapter 23 Living a Lie

Chapter 23 Living a Lie

Time seemed to stand still. It couldn't be true…I didn't want to believe that the malicious laguz-hating woman standing before me was my own mother. As far as I knew we held polar opposite ideals, she had to be fibbing, but she _did _know my name.

"You're lying," I argued. Muarim stirred uncomfortably on the floor. Was this what he was hiding from me? Suddenly I could feel a strong hand wrap around my ankle. I turned around to see Muarim holding onto me.

"Stay away…please…run-" he began to whisper until I cut him off.

"Would you stop asking me to run away? Because I never will no matter how many times you tell me to! I owe you my life…for taking care of me and I…and I don't want to lose you!" I replied.

The woman stepped between Muarim and I. "You're stubborn as ever I see. Well, I'll let you know right now that I am indeed your mother. Surely you remember the life we had until that horrible day…c'mon you must remember _some _of it. I'm sure Muarim would love to tell you how he was a slave for our noble family and how terribly disobedient he was-" I threw my hands over my ears. I didn't want to remember if this was all the truth.

"Stop! You're a liar!" I objected. She laughed menacingly and shook her head with pride. I drew my hands away from my ears and looked to Muarim in worry. He wouldn't meet my gaze and stayed focused on the ground, with his head bowed in shame. Why was he not objecting to the lies?

"A liar? Hardly! You're of noble blood! Be proud, child! That wretched beast was in fact our slave at one time…and a horrible one at that!" My face grew a brighter shade of red with each word she spoke. Again I felt torn between the urge to cry and the urge to scorch her with my magic. My heart thumped ferociously like it was ready to burst. I felt a tugging and twisting sensation in the pit of my stomach. _When am I going to wake up? _I thought to myself over and over again. I squeezed my hands into tighter fists until my knuckles were white.

"Liar! Liar! Liar! Muarim is my only family, not someone like you! He's my…he's my Dad! And don't you dare tell me otherwise because I swear I'll-"

"Enough! He is beneath you, don't you understand? Slaves are not our friends and they certainly are not our fathers. They only exist to serve the powerful, my dear," she spoke in a sweet voice that sent daggers down my back. Then, I could hear similar words echo through my head, like I had heard them spoken once before. It felt a lot like déjà vu, although I was nearly afraid to admit that to myself. My mind buzzed and pounded until a faint memory surfaced from deep within.

_My face was drenched in tears while my nose started to run. I tugged on my mother's satin dress desperately to get her attention. She chose not to acknowledge me but it only made me pull on her dress harder. "Where are you taking my friend? Give him back!" I shouted frantically. She folded her arms tight across her chest and directed a few burly men to a closed door._

"_Tormod, sweetheart, please don't refer to him as your friend, let alone a human being. He is beneath you. Do you understand?" she said calmly. I pounded her leg as hard as I could with my balled up fists but she didn't even stir. It was completely hopeless._

"No…it's not true…it's not true…" I whimpered. I looked to Muarim for any source of comfort but he provided me none. His eyes met mine for a brief moment and they screamed pain and regret. "Muarim! Back me up here…tell her she's a liar! Go on…tell her!" I beckoned. He dropped his head in disdain.

"It's all true," he replied somberly. For the sake of my pride I held back my childish sobs.

"So…all the stories you used to tell me…"

"All lies." That night before the final battle…I had been on the right track the entire time. My instincts were not misleading me. Now that I could recall the forgotten night I was able to piece everything together.

_"Why'd you even adopt me?" I said bitterly. Muarim took in a sharp breath._

_"I've told you the story how I found you countless times…"_

_"I never said this before but there's something about the story I just don't buy. It all seems too coincidental. You just happened to be passing by when you saw my house was on fire? Why do I feel like you're leaving out some really important details? If there's something you're not telling me I want to know!" I snapped. Muarim raised his brow in confusion._

_"Little one…where is all of this coming from? I would never lie to you." I laughed darkly and rolled my eyes._

_"See! You're not even answering my questions! Tell me what happened, I deserve to know, don't I?" I yelled. Muarim held a nervous face and bit down on his lip._

_"I've told you everything there is to know! There's nothing to be told. Where did you get all of these crazy ideas from?"_

_"Stop it! You're lying to me! Liar! Liar! Liar!" I screamed. Several tears started to sprinkle down my face. I hated to be so rude to Muarim but his phony story was something that had been bothering me for a while. Something told me everything that was coming out of his mouth was a big fat lie. Why not tell him that now? There was no point in ignoring it anymore. Suddenly I wished I hadn't said those words. All the color drained from my face. I saw something in Muarim's eyes that I had never seen before…at least not directed at me. It was hostility._

_"I AM NOT LYING!" he roared._

The night that happened, he was lying… the entire time, but for what reason? The thought of my mother's heel digging into Muarim's side and all the malicious remarks that came from her mouth crossed my mind. The sight of Muarim being beaten made my eyes sting. The trail of blood descending from the top of his forehead all the way down to his neck and the welts on the side of his face forced me to recall similar images I had once seen as a young child. Images I was thankful to have forgotten up until now.

_"__Very well, bring the rebel fourth." A tall muscular figured stepped forward. His face was covered in a worn brown bag and his hands were tied behind his back. My mother turned around and kneeled so she was level with me. "Just for this one time I'll cover your eyes so you don't have to see," she whispered in my ear. She placed her cool hands over my eyes._

_"__Huh? What's going on? Why can't I see?" I asked in confusion._

_"__No misdeed shall go on punished. I told your 'friend' to stay away from my baby and he did no such thing! I'm sorry if this upsets you but it must be done. I will not have my own son associate himself with that thing!" Tears stung the corners of my eyes and my heart pounded out of control._

_"__NO! Leave him alone! He didn't do anything wrong!" I tried to squirm my way out of her grip but she held me down. Suddenly the cracking of a whip pierced my ears. A loud grunt followed soon after. "STOP! LET ME GO!" I cried. The screaming of the whip resonated louder than my pleas. I couldn't take it anymore. Finally my mother gave up on restraining me. I burst my eyes open and confronted the horror before me. "LEAVE HIM ALONE!"_

_It was the very first time I had seen something so violent and grotesque. Deep slash marks covered my friend's back. Fresh blood oozed wherever the whip made contact. The slashes were so deep I was afraid I might see bone. _

How could any of it be true? That was a question I repeatedly asked myself. The memories were there, they were real and utterly horrifying. My only explanation for suddenly having a recollection of my past was the sheer fact that I must have buried the images deep within my mind so never to be resurfaced and thought of again. In a way, it was amazing how I could protect myself from the truth for so many years with the help of Muarim who had never once hinted anything truly abnormal. In that moment I loved my body for protecting me for so many years. Muarim did what he could as well. The night he hit me…was for my own benefit. He didn't want me to think ill of myself…as a despicable snooty slave owning noble. And perhaps the worst of all was that Muarim…the one who raised me and took care of me like his own child was _my slave_.

The shame was incomprehensible. It was like a punch to the gut or a dagger to the heart. All this time Muarim and I had been fighting to end laguz slavery all the while I was the offspring of a slave owner making me no better than the rest of them. Muarim suffered under my family's hand. He was robbed of his laguz pride and beaten nearly to death. Did that make me a hypocrite? For having lived a lie for so long? _I hate myself. _

I tried not to look at Muarim, for I was afraid I might lose myself. The anger and hate that ate away at me from the inside caused me to pant heavily like I could barely catch my breath. So I flashed my stare to my mother who appeared to be pretty satisfied with herself. Her eyes soon met mine and widened in surprise. Her mouth was agape and she blinked multiple times as if to be sure she was seeing things right. I stared back at her blankly, wondering what was so interesting. "What's this? Do you plan to hurt your own mother?" she said. I looked to my hands and noticed they were aflame. I didn't even realize I had lit two glowing flames in my hands. Had I subconsciously whispered a spell? I did not recall ever doing that. The flames grew bigger and eventually bluer, which was just about the hottest fire could be. I breathed sharply inward. Only one other time had I lit a blue flame…

"I…uh…no…I'm not…I'm not trying to…" I stuttered as the blue flames swirled up both my arms gracefully. I felt no pain as the fire climbed up. It was warm, but not unpleasantly so. Muarim picked his eyes up from the floor to look at me. His face immediately flashed worry. My mother studied me as I wondered what the hell was going on.

"Ah Devlin I see you have passed on your gift," she spoke. I stared at my blazing arms in great unease.

"Wh-what's wrong with me? What's happening!" I yelled. I shook my arms as if to shake away the flames, but my efforts were useless. Mother took a few steps closer to me and snickered.

"Just close your eyes and take a few deep breaths," she said calmly. I glared at her in annoyance. What could she possibly know about what was happening to me? How could I possibly be calm when both of my arms were aflame and I did not cause it?

"What? How do you-" I began.

"Just do it! Or you'll light this town up in flames!" My mind raced with a million different thoughts but I forced them away and closed my eyes like she told me to. What other options were there? I breathed in and out and let my chest rise and fall habitually. For a moment I tried to listen to the beating of my heart just to distract me from the situation at hand. Slowly, the warm sensation up my arms began to fade. Soon my temperature felt normal again. I opened my eyes to see my arms looking completely normal like nothing had happened at all.

"What _was that_?" I asked in a panic.

"Your father used to do the same thing when he was enraged…like father like son, I suppose." I scratched my head in puzzlement. I had never known my father; he died before I was born from what I could remember. For the better part of my life Muarim was like my father.

"Huh?"

"Oh! That's right! Devlin died just before you were brought into this world." I instantly remembered the name she spoke. Could it be…could it be the same Devlin Rhys had spoken of? But that would mean… "Ah yes well that problematic father of yours was a fire lord. And it seems you have inherited his ability…you always did remind me of him."

"A fire lord? I've never heard of that." She crossed her arms behind her back and began to pace back and forth before she spoke. Her heels clicked with each step.

"Well, a magic lord's abilities go beyond those of an arc sage's. The most notable difference is that they have the ability to use magic upon birth, without any instruction. And not only that but they can create their own spells. Many go through their lives never knowing their true potential…you're very fortunate to have me." I gawked at her in total disbelief. I thought of what Rhys had told me about Devlin. "Of course your father had the opposite problem. His abilities got to his head and he…well you know. As unique of a gift it is, it's also extremely dangerous. Although, I have yet to meet other magic lords…your father was the only one I knew of. Perhaps the rest aren't as foolish as him." Everything felt like a hallucination. Maybe I was hallucinating….the desert was unforgivably hot and at times the heat could get to your head. But at the same time, all was too vivid to be an illusion. The clicking of heels, the sizzling sun on my back, and the nearly silent whistle of wind, told me it was too detailed to be a trick of the mind. The Devlin she spoke of…he had to have been Rhys's brother….and if he is Rhys's brother then I would be…

_"I loved him…"he murmured just loud enough for me to hear. I couldn't help but to notice every time he referred to Devlin he spoke in the past tense. At the moment I had not a clue what to say. I got the feeling that what ever happened; Rhys wasn't strong enough to speak of it. "He loved making such dangerous tomes…but he was a good person. He was just…different…but very skilled."_

_"Rhys…"_

_"Ignis. That was his favorite one…"_

Atlast I could make sense of Rhys's words he had spoken from what seemed to be so long ago.

_"He was so very reckless…I never approved of all the dangerous things he did, but I loved him regardless. I always accepted him for who he was."_

Then it really hit me.

_"Well after Devlin died, she informed my family she was leaving for Begnion and that she did not wish to be disturbed. I would have respected her wishes…had she not been carrying my nephew! So I traveled to Begnion several months later, assuming the baby was born, only to be rudely thrown out by a tall burly man. I never did meet my nephew…and I suppose he is out there somewhere. Perhaps it was the Goddess's intention that we were to never meet. But I suppose I wouldn't know him if I saw him, now would I?" Rhys let out a heavy sigh and stared towards the setting sun. The sky was beginning to turn a pastel orange with a few paintbrush strokes of pink and blue. It was still relatively warm despite the descending sun. I stared at the skies ambience as well, thinking about everything Rhys had said. I wasn't sure why, but a sunset had always reminded me of a person getting rosy on the cheeks. The orange sphere of light looked like it was melting into the horizon as if it were a liquid. As I took in the natural beauty I turned to Rhys._

_"Maybe you have met him and you don't even know it! How freaky would that be? Ahhh! I've got goose bumps!" I proposed with an enunciated gasp. Rhys lightly chuckled and curved his lips into a smile._

Through the entire war I had been with my uncle and did not have the slightest clue. How could it be possible? The nephew Rhys had never met was right under his nose the entire time. Perhaps our family bonds were what made us so close during the war. The bonds we had no idea even existed. My head began to whirl and uneasiness stirred in my stomach. Simultaneously my head started to pulse with an overload of information. The events were getting to be too much, so I sat on the ground with my legs crisscrossed and my head buried in my hands. I wanted Muarim to come over to me and just say something…anything. But he remained silent and still to my dismay. More than anything I wanted him to hug me and tell me it was all just a dream and to go back to sleep. My mother's voice broke my train of thought.

"You know…the night I had lost you makes much more sense now. It must have been you who started the fire…ah yes I see now. You were very upset with me, kind of how you are now. Hmm…when you really look at it you are no different than your lunatic father. Huh, what a waste…" she spoke rudely. I knew of the fire…I had always known of it even after I had locked away most of my memories. But I did not want to think about that now. I did not want to remember why I was so upset. The disturbing images danced in front of my eyes, teasing me incessantly. _I will not think of that day. _

Suddenly, after being mostly quiet, Muarim had spoken up. He glared viciously at my mother. "Don't speak of Devlin that way. He was a good man! I will not let you dishonor him! You can beat me to bloody pulp and I will not complain but if you speak of ill of that man I cannot tolerate it!" he bellowed. I jumped from his sudden outburst of anger, slowly picking my head up in curiosity. The clicking of heels grew closer and louder.

"Oh? Might I ask why your loyalties rest with a dead man?" she asked. Muarim's face burned red in fury.

"We made a promise. As he was dying he asked me to take his child…and lead an emancipation army to free laguz from the cruelties of slavery. And if I had ever felt I could not protect his child, he told me to bring the child back…back to you…master." As he said the word "master" he bowed his head in shame. Once again I had felt overwhelmed with information. Muarim had been indebted to my father to take care of me. Through our march to the desert town he must have known the entire time where we were headed and what was in store for him there. I wondered if I had not wanted to visit Karoo then maybe I could have postponed this tragedy. At least for a little bit. My mother laughed sinisterly at his response.

"Ha! Devlin you're still causing me trouble from beyond the grave! How unfortunate." Muarim narrowed his eyes and growled more like a laguz beast than his humanoid form. "You…why would you place your faith in that fool? Why did you obey him?"

"Because if he didn't die…then he would have freed us all and have been rid of you!"

* * *

**Author's Note: **Don't worry, further explanations will be given soon! There's a lot more coming :)


	24. Chapter 24 The Beginning of the End

Chapter 24: The Beginning of the End

Muarim held his scornful gaze on my mother. I began to wonder if Muarim and my father had been friends. But of course he would honor anyone who wanted to put an end to laguz slavery, so perhaps they were not quite so close in that way. I wanted to know more. _But not here not now_, I thought to myself. There had to be a way to escape. I needed to quickly devise a plan that would successfully get Muarim and I away from this town. The emancipation mission would have to be put on hold, if it were to be carried out I was afraid of what might happen. Already, I noticed the Muarim I knew slowly slip away. He wasn't telling me that everything was going to be okay. The lack of his comfort left me feeling empty inside. Then, it crossed my mind that perhaps he was mad at me…perhaps he hated me. He was a slave for my family after all. How could he have put up with me for so long? A long forgotten memory suddenly slid into my mind and answered that question for me.

_I stared at the large laguz man before me, my eyes twinkling in awe. At the time I had not a clue what a laguz was, he was nothing more than a mythical creature to me. My young immature self was simply amazed at the tiger laguz. He was extraordinary. His green tail swayed from side to side, beckoning me to feel its pleasantly soft fur. His ears were furry as well and equally as tempting to stroke and touch. The laguz I had been intently staring upon busied himself by moving several large boxes into a separate pile. I did not understand what he was doing, or why he was doing it, or even why he was in my home. All I knew was that I just had to talk to him. _

_I scurried to where he was loading and unloading boxes. He quickly glanced at me and then looked away as if he hadn't noticed me at all. He obtained yet another box and brought it to where I was standing, he set it down and was about to begin the process of going to the other side to fetch more boxes again, until I finally raised my voice._

"_Excuse me, Mr. Tiger?" I spoke. He flashed his golden eyes towards me only to quickly avert them and continue with his work. "Did you know that you have a tail?" I asked, feeling rather intelligent for noticing. For a second I saw his lips slightly perk up into smile but it soon faded away. "Cause' I thought that only animals had tails and fur and stuff like that… but you look like a person to me…but with a tail." His lips slightly curved into another meek smile, but he still remained silent. He never once stopped loading and unloading boxes. Then, my childish mind thought of an explanation for his quietness. "Can tiger people not talk? Wait! Maybe tiger people have their own language…yeah that's gotta be it, right Mr. Tiger?" As I waited for a response something else dawned upon me. "Oh! But you can't know what I'm saying so I guess you won't be answering me then...right?" _

_The tiger glanced at me again and shook his head. The intelligent response shook me from my core. I was not expecting an acknowledging gesture at all. "Oh! So you do understand. Okay then…so…why do you have a tail that's all fuzzy? 'Cause I thought that people were people and animals were animals. Can animals be people? Hey, do you have a name? I'm Tormod, we should be friends! I like animals and I like people…so we should get along!" Words continued to flow out of my mouth like lava spewing from a volcano. I had so many things I wanted to say without intelligible ways of saying them. After my questioning and blabbering had finally come to a stop, I once again waited for a reply. He lightly chuckled but that was all. No words were spoken. I couldn't help but to feel hurt after being ignored yet again. I frown spread across my lips and my eyes turned downcast. _

"_So…do you wanna be my friend?" I asked urgently. He successfully avoided another reply and left me hanging once again. "Mama doesn't have time to play with me or nothin'…" I hinted. Without a response my bottom lip began to tremble. "Why don't you like me? I just wanna be friends," I cried. Tears welled up in my eyes as I started to whimper. Soon my whimpering turned into full on childish sobs. _

_As my cries grew louder, the tiger finally stopped what he was doing and turned around to face me. He casually walked towards me and bent down on one knee so his face was almost level with mine. "Please don't cry," he said softly. I sniffled back my tears and tried to stop. Then, I soon realized that the tiger had finally spoken _because _I was crying. Instead of trying to stop, I let my tears freely sprinkle from my eyes like rain showers. _

"_I w-won't stop crying till you be my f-friend!" I argued between exaggerated cries. My face grew hot and my eyes grew red and irritated. Sooner or later he would have to agree. _

"_I'm sorry…but we can't be friends. When you're older you will understand. I'm sure your mother doesn't allow you in the cellar…so why don't you run along." _

_I exploded in hysterics at his words. Finally he had spoken only to reject me. At the time his rejection was nothing short of a tragedy for me. So I opened my mouth as wide as I could and sucked in a large breath of air to let out the loudest possible scream I could muster. Before I could let it reach full force, the tiger's big hand covered my quivering lips. _

"_Shh! It is late; you wouldn't want to wake everyone up, right? Look if you calm down then you can ask me as many questions as you like. Deal?" he said. He slowly removed his hand away from my mouth. By then, I had nearly forgotten why I was so upset and why I had been crying. Did it matter? Because I just knew from then on that we would be great friends. I began to bounce up and down in excitement with a wide grin plastered on my face._

"_Really? Really? Ya mean it? Well, do ya? Do ya?" I asked frenziedly. My voice eventually grew to an almost shout but before it was noticeably loud the tiger silenced me again._

"_Shh…you mustn't be too loud or someone will come down here." I nodded my head several times to show that I understood even though I did not fully comprehend what would happen if someone were to find us. But nodding my head seemed like the intelligent thing to do. _

"_Okay! I'm Tormod incase you forgot. So what's your name? Do you have one? Probably not so should I just call you Mr. Tiger, because I kind of like that. Yeah I think I'll just call you that. Uh huh that sounds all right to me…wait! _Do_ you have a name?" Again my immaturity got the better of me. Questions flowed out of my mouth like clockwork. I barely even gave my tiger a chance to respond._

_When I eventually grew silent, in search of a response, the tiger laughed. "I have a name," he said. My eyebrows rose in surprise. "I am Muarim." _

"_Muarim…we're gonna be friends now, okay?" I proclaimed. He looked from side to side nervously as if to see if anyone were watching him. _

"_I'm not entirely sure if that would be allowed-"_

_Tears threatened to drip from my eyes. I had my heart set on befriending Muarim, so I absolutely would not take no for an answer. I began to whimper and sniffle, hoping to change his mind. _

"_Please?" I begged. He bit his lip and seemed to ponder his next course of action as if it would determine his fate rather than make my day._

"_I'm sorry, I think it would be unwise for me to-" _

"_I'll scream!" I threatened. I sucked in a mouthful of air and readied myself to let out a piercing scream. Just as I was about to shout, Muarim's hand covered my mouth again. He sighed heavily in defeat and dropped his head in frustration. I squirmed my way out of his grasp. _

"_Cheeky, aren't you?" he said. _

_Befuddled with his words, I brought my tiny hand to my smooth cheek. I pinched the skin and stretched it out as far as I could. "I guess so…" I replied. Muarim laughed wholeheartedly and patted me on top of the head. _

"_So what is it that you wanted to ask me, little one?" _

_My face turned red from a mix of embarrassment and irritation. I folded my arms over my chest, like I had seen other adults do when they are angry. _

"_Hey! My name is Tormod! TOR-MOD. And I'm not little! One day I'll be this tall!" I stretched my arms way above my head and hopped up and down. "See? Not so little!" Muarim smiled in return and shook his head. _

"_It would feel too strange calling you by your first name. It's terribly informal…I think I will just call you little one." I scoffed at his reply and rolled my eyes. I wanted to object further but Muarim had already spoken before I could complain. "How old are you, little one?"_

_I flashed all five of my fingers on my right hand. "I'm five! Can I ask a question now? _Please_? Please!" He nodded his head. "Okay so…why do you have a tail and I don't? Could I grow a tail? Ooohh if I can, can you teach me? Please?" I asked in a rush. He smiled at me in return and to my dismay he shook his head. _

"_No…humans don't grow tails. I'm a lag-" he stopped himself abruptly and almost seemed to internally argue with himself. He cleared his throat to fill the silence. "A subhuman…that's what I am called," he managed as he nearly choked on his words._

"_A subhuman? I don't like that name. Isn't there anything else to call you?" _

_His eyes flickered like a candle. The golden shade of his eyes brightened. "Um, well…yes. A laguz is the true name of my race, but I haven't been called that in a very long time. The term 'subhuman' is more commonly used around here." _

"_I like 'laguz' better. Laguz, laguz, laguz! Ha ha!" I giggled and repeated the word several times until I wore myself out. "Why do laguz have tails and different ears than humans? Oh! And those marks on your face!" _

"_All subhumans can shift into animals forms. In our human forms we still have animal-like characteristics such as tails, ears, and all the things you mentioned." I dropped my jaw in amazement. _I'm talking to a real life tiger, _I thought to myself ecstatically. But despite my excitement, the way Muarim talked about himself bothered me. _

"_Why do you call yourself a subhuman? Why don't you say laguz? Say it! It's fun! LAGUZ! See how much cooler that sounds? Subhuman doesn't very nice either."_

"_Ah…if only everyone could be that simple-minded…"_

I snapped out of my daydream with a start. I had almost forgot that I was attempting to come up with an escape route away from this horrible town. I looked in front of me, behind me, and to my right and left. What I saw shocked me. I could feel all of my hopes of making a successful escape drain away. My eyes wanted to pop out of their sockets and my heart wanted to explode in rage. Muarim, my mother, and I were completely surrounded by dozens of armed men on each side. There was not a single opening to slip through. The men looked more like bodyguards than soldiers, each equipped with either a steel lance or a sword in their hands. I had thought about fighting my way through, but the odds were against me, even if I could get Muarim to fight. The fact of the matter was that I was severely outnumbered and trapped like a rat. _When did all of these men appear? _I had distracted myself with memories of the past and let myself get surrounded. I was on the brink of screaming when my mother began to speak.

"Incase you thought of escaping, Muarim, I prepared my guards for such an occasion. Now, there is nowhere to run. You are back in your rightful place, where you should have been all this time," she said wickedly. Muarim snarled and showed his pointy teeth.

"Do you not understand that I came here on my own free will? You did not catch me…you never could have…I only came to fulfill a promise!" he snapped. Mother laughed heartily like Muarim was cracking a hilarious joke.

"Tell me…when you decided to come back after all of these years and admit to kidnapping my son, did you expect to be thrown back into slavery?"

Muarim glared at her with his eyes narrowed in contempt. For a few seconds it was unnaturally silent. "Yes. Is there a worse punishment than that?" he asked dryly. She chuckled and nodded her head pleasurably. I bit down on my lip harder and stared nervously at the scene. What more could she possibly do? What was left to take away?

"Lucky for you there is much worse. How does execution sound? Two days from now, in the town square, you will be hanged." My will to carry on disappeared as she spoke. I could imagine my face to be colorless and frightening. My mind programmed itself to not accept the cruel fate at any cost. I bounced up and finally raised my voice.

"NO! You can't take Muarim! Stop it! Please! I won't let you have him, I won't, I won't!" I cried hysterically. I shifted to where Muarim was, on the ground. I wrapped my arms securely around him. The blood pulsed rapidly through my veins.

"Little one?" he whispered painfully. Tears fell freely from my face and onto the floor.

The guards grew closer and closer. They readied their weapons and waited for a signal. "GO AWAY! I'll fry you all to a crisp! Muarim, we have to fight. We don't have a choice anymore. C'mon!" I urged him to stand up with me. He eventually stood but not in a stance to fight. "Muarim! Please! We have to!" I implored.

"I cannot. If this is fate…then so be it." I tugged on his torn shirt to get him to move. I pulled and pulled until I eventually ripped his shirt even deeper. He stayed still like a statue. Why was he so willing to die?

"Muarim! Stop being so selfish! What am I supposed to do if you die? I have no one! I need you! Please, just fight! Even if we lose…at least we tried." I pounded my fists against his chest frantically.

"You have your mother." I pounded his chest harder as he said that.

"I have no mother! I only have you! You are my family! Muarim, _please_! I don't care that you hit me, it doesn't matter anymore! If…if you're worried about me…I'll…I'll be more careful, I promise! I know I can be careless at times but you shouldn't have to die for my foolish mistakes. Muarim, look at me!" I yelled. Tears stung the corners of my eyes. My hands shook while I tugged Muarim's ripped apart shirt. The guards moved closer and closer towards us with each passing second. If we didn't start fighting then, as a last ditch effort then I knew there would be no other opportunity for escape.

My face became hot and contorted with my desperation that was growing fiercer and fiercer. Seconds was all that was left. Seconds to decide to fight or seconds for my whole world to come caving in. Muarim remained motionless, even with me pounding my fists against his chest and tugging him by the threads of his shirt. I didn't want to admit it to myself but it was evident that he had made up his mind. I knew he wouldn't fight, but dammit I had to try.

"Please fight with me!" I exclaimed. Instead of obeying me and shifting into a tiger, he wrapped his arms around my trembling body and brought me closer towards him.

"There are only two of us, there is no way, no matter how you look at it, for us to come out victorious. I'd only be putting you in unnecessary danger. Little one, I never planned to be put to death…but I accept this fate if this is the Goddess's will. You must move on…" he spoke just loud enough for me to hear. I exploded into more tears and muffled my sobs against his chest. My eyes became enflamed with my blood rushing after each onslaught of waterworks drenched my face. The thought of Muarim dying was never something I thought or worried about. He was strong and full of might. _H_e was usually the one who worried about _me_.

"How could you say that! What about our dream? Of beorc and laguz living peacefully together! And what about the emancipation army? Muarim! We can't give up!"

Suddenly I felt a strong grasp on my shoulder. I quickly turned around to see that the guards had completely closed in on us. Our chance to fight was gone. As I tried ferociously to shake off the hand, more hands grabbed my arms and torso. I struggled and wiggled under the clutches of the armed guards. But no matter how much I thrashed and yelled, they would not let loose of their grasp. Eventually, they peeled me completely away from Muarim. My cries and shouts were useless against the strong guards that were restraining me. Muarim was soon surrounded by a group of guards as well. His face grew smaller and smaller as the men dragged me away from him.

"MUARIM! YOU PROMISED!" I began feverishly. His warm eyes met mine as I screamed what was in my heart. "YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER LEAVE ME!" My throat felt coarse and dry against the force of my shouts.

"_Little one…look at me," said Muarim. He placed two fingers underneath my chin and lifted it up. I must have looked pathetic with my puffy bloodshot eyes and completely drenched face. "I will NEVER leave you, okay?" he spoke. I tried to open my mouth but all that came out were cries. I hid my face inside of his chest again like a turtle going inside its shell._

_I moved my head slightly away from his body so I could make another attempt at speaking. "P-promise? PROMISE ME!" I cried._

_"I promise," he replied without a hint of hesitation._

I tried to search Muarim's face for a response but my mother stood in front of me, blocking my way with her hands on her hips. She looked at my tear-stained face and sighed.

I noticed her watching me and felt tempted to send a gob of spit flying her way. "You're a monster," I said simplistically. She giggled carelessly and took a few steps closer to me so she could say a few hushed words in my ear.

"Two days," she began. "I have given you two days. If you don't want to see that beast hanging from a noose I suggest you do something. After all I have given you a gift…the gift of time."

My eyes widened, as I understood what she was suggesting. She was right, I had two days before the execution. I could find a way to stop it. Muarim didn't have to die. I could do something…I had to. It was hardly a gift though; a gift would have been to spare his life completely. But despite that I wondered why she had even given me the opportunity to save him at all.

I gradually nodded my head for I was afraid that if I spoke something profound would come out of my lips.

"You have till the second day at noon. I know you are strong. Come and show me your strength in battle. Until then, I will take my leave of you." She turned away and quickly went back to directing her guards and barking orders. She directed the battalion that had captured Muarim elsewhere. For one last time I tried kicking the guards that kept me restrained. When that didn't work I tried running forward to catch up to Muarim but the guards only held me back more. They yanked on my arms so forcefully that if I did not stop running my arms surely would have been ripped off. Finally, I gave up and all that was left to do was watch Muarim be taken away. My chest throbbed and ached. I would have let my knees buckle if I could have. I wanted to use my magic but I couldn't focus well enough to do so. Why couldn't my arms burst into flames now like they had done previously? I was much more upset than I was then, so why could I not use the powerful magic.

For now, it would have been of no use. I was given two days and I would use those two days, every last second of them. I needed to become stronger and I would also need people to fight along side me. I did have my laguz friends back home but getting there on my own would take two days in itself. So that was out of the question. All I knew was that I could not fight all of these men, assuming they would be there, alone.

Eventually my mother had disappeared out of my sight and so did Muarim and the band of guards restraining him. He was gone. _From here on out, it's all up to me. _The citizens had dispersed as well. My guards then dropped me to the ground seeing as we were the only ones left. I pulled my arms towards my body. They were sore and aching from being tugged on so mercilessly. I dropped my head the ground and a few tears slid down my eye and outlined my nose as it descended to the ground.

I knew there was a possibility Muarim could hear me, since his ears were so sensitive. I used every last bit of moisture I had left in my throat to scream one last thing. "MUARIM! I'M COMING TO SAVE YOU! ON THAT I PROMISE!"


	25. Ch25 The Shadow and the Kindling Hope

**Author's Note- **I feel like it's been a little while since the last update...I could be wrong but if I'm not I apologize! Well anyway, here it is! Enjoy! :)

* * *

Chapter 25 The Shadow and the Kindling Hope

My tears dried up on my face and my throat felt like it was one fire. It was absent of moisture from screaming with such ferocity. My mind felt cloudy and dazed as well. I knew the state I was in rendered me unable to devise a strategy to stop the execution. If Muarim were with me he would worry and tell me to drink water and rest. Unfortunately I didn't see any time for rest but a gulp of water from the oasis would be enough for now.

With the sun still beating strongly, I backtracked my way to the oasis that had brought us into this nightmare of a town, my true home. Through all of the calamity I forgot about the stinging of sun burn on my cheeks. It was uncomfortable, but there was nothing I could do about it. So I carried on to the oasis. As I approached the sparkling body of water I could almost see an apparition of Muarim and I before we got separated. It wasn't too long ago that Muarim was cleaning up my burns carefully with his torn apart shirt. It was odd to think, the Goddess forbid, if I were to get hurt, Muarim wouldn't be there to take care of me like he always had in the past.

I shook the nostalgic thoughts out of my head and kneeled down to view my reflection in the water. I expected to see a somber face with sun burn on the cheeks, but what was there caused me to jolt. Glowing red eyes stared back at me, but they weren't my own. All the facial features were nearly identical to mine except the jet-black hair that was bright red on the tips as if it were dipped into paint. I stumbled backwards and fell on my bottom from the shock. I crawled to the water again to see if the face was still there until loud laughter interrupted me.

"Haha! You shoulda seen your face! Woo that was good!" came a nearby voice. I hesitantly turned around to see whom the voice belonged to. Before me was a figure with the same face as the one I had seen in the water. He looked to be the same age as me and his height was in close proximity to mine. In fact, he looked frighteningly similar to me. Except of course the obvious differences in hair color and clothing. He wore all black, complete with a black hooded cape tied around his neck.

"Wh-who are you?" I asked with my voice wavering in astonishment. I slowly tried to pick myself up off the ground. His eyes followed my every move.

"Who am I? I'm you! Isn't it obvious? Boy, you are dense!" he replied. I immediately assumed I had not made it to the water in time. The hallucinations had already begun and they were more than common in the desert. All I would have to do is have a few sips of water and the hallucination would disappear. For the moment, I ignored the boy and kneeled back down toward the water. I cupped some in my hands and greedily slurped it dry.

"Y'know…this is usually the part when you ask some questions!" the boy spoke out in annoyance. I ignored his remark and continued to drink water to my heart's content. "Drinking water doesn't make me disappear!"

I swallowed gulp after gulp until my stomach felt ready to burst. I sighed in contentment and stood up once more. As I took a step forward I crashed into a body.

"Nice to see you too!" said the boy. The boy? He was still there! Was he not a hallucination after all? But he had to be…for he said he _was_ me, which was absurd. "Is there any water left in there?" he teased. He was still talking to me, which had to mean I was losing my mind. What other explanation was there? I looked away from him and used silence to make him disappear. "Hey! It's rude to ignore people when they're trying to talk to you!"

"You're just a figment of my imagination so why should I _not_ ignore you?" I replied sharply.

"A figment of your imagination? Ouch!" he said. I turned my head away from him but as I did so he grabbed my wrist that I always kept bandaged. "You wanna know how I am real? Take a look at this!" He swiftly unraveled my bandages despite my protests and revealed the crest branded on my wrist that I had been hiding. At first I was only surprised that he knew what was under the bandages. But then he held out his own wrist to mine to expose the same exact marking. As the identical crests were brought together they glowed to life with a mysterious red radiance. "See? We're brothers! Well…I mean not literally…but we're bound by this crest! Ya see…a while back you casted a spell that released me. For a while I was still stuck trailing behind you…but I grew stronger and more powerful! And I separated myself from you…so now I'm my own person! Hooray for me!" he cheered jovially.

I blinked and attempted to process everything that was occurring. Could this boy be…the curse? Perhaps he was not a hallucination after all. "How do you know all of that? How'd you know what was underneath my bandages? I…I don't understand. I really am cursed…" The boy cocked his head to the side in bewilderment. My mind raced with the chilling thoughts of the cursed spell.

"Curse? Ouch, that hurt! It's more like a….like a blessing! See? Flesh!" he held up his arms and rubbed them against me. I spun myself around in the opposite direction to avoid his awkward touch. "Sheeesh! You act like you don't even know me!" he yelled.

I scoffed audibly and rolled my eyes. "That's because I _don't _know you."

He raised a single eyebrow and shook his head. "Sure ya do! Take a look," he beckoned while grabbing me by the hand. The boy dragged me directly under the sun's rays and pointed toward the ground in front of me. "Notice something missing?"

I pondered for a moment and then finally flickered my eyes to where he was pointing, wondering why I even bothered listening to such a strange person. As my eyes lowered to the ground I did in fact notice something essential that was not there. Something that followed me where ever I went. I sharply breathed inward upon the realization.

"My shadow! It…it's gone!" I shouted nervously. The boy shook his head again this time with a smirk on his face.

"Nope, it's right here!" he replied while pointing toward himself. My eyes grew as wide as saucers as I stared at the boy indefinitely. _It can't be…he can't be…yet it makes sense in a strange messed up way. Am I losing my mind or am I really talking to my own shadow? Muarim, I wish you were here to snap me out of this nightmare. _"Don't look so sad, I'm here to help you now that I'm stronger. But I'm still getting used to this whole 'body' concept."

"How…how is that even possible? If you're my shadow then why aren't you…"

"Don't you pay attention? I told you that the spell you cast allowed me to separate from you. Pretty great, huh?"

I sighed heavily and folded my arms across my chest. "You mean the spell that almost killed me?" I snapped.

"Yeah that one!" he replied quickly but soon noticed the disapproval on my face and added, "I mean uh…sorry about that! But hey, no harm done!"

I narrowed my eyes in increasing displeasure. The memories of the horrific pain and being on the verge of death were haunting. I never would have survived if it weren't for Sothe for getting to me in time. I never would have made it to camp in time if Muarim hadn't been there to carry me like an infant and sprint as fast as a laguz could. The burning would have continued until my death if it hadn't been for Reyson singing the galdr of rebirth. The distant memories reminded me of the horrible suffering I had endured but it also made me long for my dear friend Sothe and Muarim more than anything.

"I thought I was going to die!" I hollered. "You have no idea what I went through and you have no idea what I'm going through right now! So please do me a favor and just leave!"

My shadow jumped at my sudden burst of anger. "Hey now, you got it all wrong! I see everything you see because we're connected! I know what's going and I'm here to help if you'll just let me."

Horrifying images of Muarim as a slave flashed across my eyes. I could still see the deep gashes running down his back and the blood dripping to the floor. _What are they doing to him right now? Please don't hurt him anymore…please…_

My knees buckled from underneath me and I fell limply to the earth. My arms hung droopily at my side. "_Help _me? You think you can _help_ me? Please enlighten me!" I rebuked. He was silent for a moment. "I'm a mess…two days…two days is all I have! What can I possibly do in two days? TELL ME!"

The shadow sauntered closer to my side and placed one hand on my back. "We go to the cathedral and ask for the Apostle's help. It may take a while to get there but the holy guard can fly back here, if we leave now we should get there in time," he proposed. The Apostle…of course! Why hadn't I thought of that sooner? Laguz slavery was outlawed, I could have the crazy people prosecuted and I could save Muarim. Muarim would be okay…that was my main concern.

"Sanaki…yes…yes…she would help me for sure! I met her during the mad king's war! Your idea…it's actually pretty great!" I exclaimed with a new feeling of excitement taking over me.

"Well of course it's great! We just have to budget our time correctly. So what do you say?" he said.

For the first time that day I let myself smile. The feeling of the corners of my lips perking up almost seemed foreign. "I say hell yes! Let's do it!" I bellowed. My shadow grinned back at me as I began to get back on my feet.

"Then let's prepare for departure, brother!"

A seedling of hope began to sprout. With my path now lighting up, I actually started to believe that I really could stop the entire execution.


	26. Chapter 26 Storming the Cathedral

Chapter 26 Storming the Cathedral

Before we departed for Sienne we would need to obtain the necessary supplies to fuel us for the long journey. I crammed my hands into my pockets and felt around for any gold. I was mildly shocked to find my pockets completely empty.

"I've got nothin'" I informed my shadow.

"No problem, we could just steal whatever we need!" he replied cheerfully. I stared back at him in confusion until I remembered that he was my shadow. Perhaps rationality was not something that came easily to him.

"You're way too calm about stealing _everything _we need," I remarked. In return, he shrugged his shoulders and carried on through the town confidently. I sped up my pace to catch up with him when an unsettling thought crossed my mind. Maybe it was not such a great idea to reenter the town I had just caused an uproar in. I tugged my shadow on the hood of his cape to get his attention.

"Hey, I don't think I should be walking around here stealing things after what just happened. Since you're so comfortable with stealing supplies why don't you go do that and I'll fill the canteen with water."

"Well…if that's what you want then…okay!" He shoved the canteen in my hand and scurried off without another word. I couldn't help but to doubt my abilities as a thief. It wasn't something I ever imagined myself being good at. If Sothe were with me he could have easily pickpocketed someone for change. The sudden thoughts of Sothe made my gut squeeze in pain. I missed always having him at my side but those days appeared to be over although mentally I refused to accept it.

I carefully made my way out of the town and back to the oasis to fill the canteen with water. As I filled it to the brim my thoughts drifted away to Muarim who had to have been suffering at the moment. I couldn't imagine how he was being treated. More than anything I wanted to hug him tightly and cry but he wasn't there to hold. His absence left me feeling empty.

Soon, my shadow reappeared with two cloaks to shield our skin from the sun and a small bag of bread. He tossed me one of the cloaks and I slid it on over my head. At last, I could be free from the impending threat of more sunburn. As we gathered everything together we finally disembarked to the capital.

My feet molded into the dry sand with every step. My legs were soar from walking miles without rest but in truth there was no time for any breaks at all. The sun was beginning to set which meant the day was coming to a close. I breathed in and out heavily from the prolonged exposure to heat. The march was mostly silent until a question popped into my head.

"I just noticed something…I have no idea what to call you. Do you…do you have a name or something?" I asked in increasing curiosity. The boy glanced towards me and smirked.

"You can just call me Tormod," he responded. I balled my hands up into fists and feverishly shook my head.

"Uh, no! That name is already taken!" I snapped. Not only that, but it would be confusing hanging around a person with the same name as me all the time. There had to be something else I could address him as.

"Hm, yeah I guess you're right. Well…I don't really have a name in that case! You can call me whatever you want." I thought about his statement briefly. What was I to call him?

"Um….should I just call you shadow?" I asked. The boy frowned disapprovingly and purposely kicked some hot sand up with his feet. He stuck his tongue out in dismay.

"Blaagghhh! Lame! C'mon give me real name! Please, please, please! Now that I have my own body I need my own name too and I'll let you name me but I don't want to be called a shadow anymore…that just sounds like I'm not on par with you. Which is not true at all! Because we're-"

I cut him off instantaneously before he babbled on forever. At the rate he was talking he could have easily done just that. "Because we're brothers," I finished. He smiled satisfyingly and looked to me in gratification. For a shadow he sure was cheery.

"Yup! That's right! Now come on and brew me up a name, a good one!" he pressed. Not only was he cheery but he was also incredibly persistent, I began to wonder if he reflected my own personality. Normally I was the same way, but the recent circumstances drained me from my usual hyper attitude.

"Okay let's see…" I began as I scanned my surroundings. The great almost red sphere of light descended from the sky and hid itself behind the tall sand dunes. The air was utterly dry but not uncomfortably hot since the sun was receding. _A name...a name…_I contemplated a suitable name for my shadow that he would find adequate. Although I had only recently met him it seemed like I knew him forever, I guess in a way that was true. He had been following me throughout my entire life. I felt as if I knew exactly what he would and wouldn't like as I began to understand the similarity in both our personalities. Suddenly, a perfect name popped into my head. I nearly gasped as I thought of it.

"How about Devlin? It was my father's name…I never got to know him but from what I heard we pretty much shared the same ideals," I suggested. The boy stopped walking abruptly and stared at me in adoration. His eyes twinkled with compassion and awe. He looked upon me like I was some sort of godly figure. At first it made me a tad uncomfortable. I stopped in my tracks as well.

"You would give me that name?" he asked in frightening uncertainty. I smiled at him with reassurance.

"Sure, why not?"

I noticed his mouth was agape as he breathed in and seemed to hold his breath in what looked like amazement. There was no better way to describe him than saying he was completely dazzled by my suggestion. I could almost see the stars shimmering in his crimson eyes. However, he failed to speak.

"Well…? Do you like it?" I asked.

"Yes! Yes! I like it, yes I do! No, I don't like it! I_ love_ it! Oh, thank you so much, brother! I will bring honor to the name!" I chuckled at his over enthusiasm and urged him to keep moving. We would never reach the capital in time at this rate.

* * *

We walked in silence for a few hours to harbor our strength. The sun had completely set and now the sky was covered in a dark blanket that was the night sky. A full moon and a few twinkling stars illuminated our path. But soon more curious questions sprouted in my head. Devlin and I didn't look completely alike, but we were very similar in facial structure, height, and eye color. I began to wonder if our analogous appearances had anything to do with a specific memory.

_I took a deep exhale and attempted to mentally prepare myself for battle until Sothe interrupted me. "Hey where'd you run off to before?" he asked. I looked to him in puzzlement._

_"What do you mean? I just got here," I replied truthfully._

_"Well yeah, but you were here a few minutes ago talking to me and then you just left." I quirked one eyebrow up and scratched the back of my head._

_"Nope wasn't me. I was talking to Muarim about...stuff. You must be imagining things." Sothe glared at me as if I was an idiot and shook his head in resistance._

_"No way it was definitely you. How hard did you hit your head again?" I chuckled lightly at his remark but still found no truth to it whatsoever. As far as I knew I was talking to Muarim a few minutes ago, not Sothe. I knew I wasn't the one going insane._

_"Maybe you hit __your__ head, because I definitely wasn't here a few minutes ago." Sothe scoffed loudly and rolled his eyes at my comment._

_"Stop it! I'm not delusional...I know what I saw and it was you!" he nearly shouted while poking me in the chest. I took a step back and almost bumped into Muarim. Sothe never liked being wrong, that much was a trait he showed consistently._

_"Yeah? Then prove it!" Sothe narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms tightly._

_"Fine." He took a few paces forward and caught the attention of Oscar who was mounted on his steed. He turned around to face Sothe who looked incredibly small next to Oscar's mount. "Hi Oscar, you saw Tormod talking to me a few minutes ago right? Just verifying." Oscar looked to me with his perpetual squinty eyes. I shook my head as if to say "no I wasn't here. Sothe is out of his mind." He looked back to Sothe who stood patiently awaiting an answer._

_"Yes, I do believe I saw you two talking a little while ago if I'm not mistaken. Why do you ask?" he replied. Sothe spun around and stuck his tongue out at me childishly._

_"Oh, it's nothing just checking," said Sothe. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Oscar seemed so intelligent and sincere. Why would he say he saw me if I clearly wasn't there? Nothing added up. Oscar didn't seem like the type of person who would lie like that either. "See, I told ya!"_

_My face must have gone blank. Something wasn't right. As much as I wanted to think so, Sothe wasn't delusional._

I cleared my throat to get Devlin's attention. He turned to me and I immediately shared with him my thoughts.

"Hey…I was wondering…did you by any chance meet my friend Sothe during the war?" I asked.

Devlin's face lit up the night sky as he flashed a vibrant smile. "Ah yes! I certainly did! He seemed like an even better friend than I imagined him to be, he was very concerned with how I was feeling. In fact he seemed like he was going to run after me when I left."

My throat became dry and hoarse, so I took a swig of water before responding.

"Why was he concerned with how you were feeling?" I asked. "Uh…not in an offensive way or anything," I clarified.

Devlin laughed heartily at the awkwardness in my voice. Clearly, there was something I was missing. He must have known something I didn't know.

"Well that's easy! When I alter myself to look like you it drains almost all of my energy. It's not very fun at all…"

My eyes shot out of my head as I listened to him speak. I had to have been hearing things incorrectly. How could he altar himself to look like me? What kind of magic has the ability to do that?

"I'm sorry….did you just say you can altar yourself to look like me? Because if you did then I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about," I replied in bewilderment.

I half expected for him to laugh and tell me it was exactly what it sounded like but instead he was strangely silent for a moment. The cheeriness he showed earlier seemed virtually absent.

"Well…um…remember when you called me curse before?" he asked. My eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. Perhaps he was finally admitting to being a curse after all.

"I remember."

"Well…when I split from your body this weird voice told me I had the power to 'destroy lives'. At first I didn't know what that meant and frankly. I didn't think I wanted to know but then I realized I could shift my body into any person I've seen or have memory of. I know it sounds crazy…but I guess I could show you if you want."

I stared at him impassively, unsure what to say. As ridiculous as it sounded coming off the tongue, it made perfect sense. It explained why Sothe swore on his life that he had seen me in one place when I swore I was somewhere else. It was Devlin, my shadow, he had seen, not me.

I decided to take his word on his strange ability and not ask him to use it if it drained him of his strength. We both needed all the strength we could harness when marching through desert. But his alleged ability did spark my curiosity. I silently pondered how it was at all possible…but the dark arts that I had briefly used seemed not to follow the basic rules of magic at all.

"I guess I sort of lied before when I said I wasn't a curse…but I swear I won't use the ability to inflict harm on anybody! I swear! I don't know why I have this power…I don't want it! I would gladly give it away if I could…honest!"

"Well that's the dark arts for ya…but don't worry you don't have to defend yourself or anything. I couldn't see much point in using something if it's only going to harm the user. But who knows…maybe you'll find a good use for it someday…" I trailed off and thought of the potential uses his skill could have. It could easily be a convenience but if it drained him of his own sanity then it would only be a hindrance in the long run.

I could feel Devlin become less tense at my side. He sighed in alleviation.

"Thanks for understanding. I didn't mean to confuse you guys or anything," he said. I laughed and shook my head. It didn't really matter any more I supposed. I didn't have Sothe to bicker about it with so it was truly only to fan the flames of my own curiosity. Although I wondered what Sothe would say if he knew…. would he believe me?

* * *

At the first sight of daybreak we were walking through the capital. The streets were packed with hurrying people of Begnion and the air rang with a low buzz of chatter. Devlin and I carefully pushed our way through in search of Mainal Cathedral where we could confront the Apostle. By the time we had hydrated ourselves and nourished our crippling hunger from the restless journey, the sun was at its highest in the sky. It was noon, which meant exactly one day had passed since Muarim was taken. It also meant that I had exactly one day left to stop his execution. The feeling sent chills down my back. And yet we had not slept at all, but in truth there was not a second to spare for luxuries such as sleep.

At long last Devlin and I stood outside the doors of Mainal Cathedral. Sienne was breath taking all on its own. The cathedral was just another jewel in its crown. Everywhere we looked we were surrounded by towering pointy-topped structures made from elegant grey stone. Patches of verdant vegetation were scattered around the capital as well. Surrounding the cathedral itself were several trees with magnificent verdure. All of the sights brought back memories of the war, when Ike had taken Muarim and I to speak with the Apostle. The memory tugged on the strings of my heart…the last time I had been in Sienne was with Muarim. But why would that bother me? Did a part of me doubt myself that I could save Muarim in time? Perhaps that explained the nostalgia I suddenly felt when looking at the doors of the cathedral.

I almost envied myself from the last time I had been in Sienne. Sure, I was faced with several issues then but at least I had Muarim at my side. Then, I recalled when he had spoken out on behalf of me leaving him. What a ridiculous thought! _I came here...to ask if you would...take care of something for me. I would have you take care of the little one. _Only Muarim knew how to throw me into a fit. The dream we shared of laguz and beorc living peacefully together was what always held me together in those hopeless moments. _That's a dream that belongs to us as former laguz slaves. We don't need the help of another beorc like you. _I remembered that moment with much clarity. His words sent me into an onslaught of tears that I thought would never cease but soon after he came looking for me and assuaged any worries I had of him abandoning me or having any ill feelings toward me. His mood swing had simply ignited when he spoke of his past. The past that my family had caused…

"Tormod? You all right?" spoke Devlin in concern. His voice snapped me back to reality and out of my state of recollection. He stared at me with worry etched on his face.

"Yeah, never better. C'mon let's go inside…. enough stalling!" I exclaimed. Devlin continued to eye me with a troubled look about him.

"You don't have to feel guilty about anything that's happened…it's not as if you could choose your birth parents," he suddenly spoke. As I was about to step closer toward the door I halted. Had he been reading my mind? How could he tell what was troubling me?

"Excuse me?" I snapped.

Devlin bit his lip as if he were trying to hide something. He spontaneously grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me through the lavish doors of the cathedral.

"Enough stalling! Let's go!" he shouted as if he were using my own words against me. Before I could object further, the two of us had stumbled our way inside the cathedral.

Inside, multiple white columns stood around a red-carpeted throne room. Before I could catch a glimpse of the throne itself, a guard spotted us. He moved himself in front of our path to block us from going any further. A thick helmet shielded his face and he was clad in shining armor. In his right hand he wielded a silver lance.

"Halt! Who goes there?" said the guard generically.

"I'm Tormod, and I would like to see the Apostle please! It's a very important matter and I need to see her right away! So if you would excuse us…" I attempted to slide past the arm guard but I had no such luck. He grabbed me by the hood and lifted me up effortlessly. My cape constricted my throat as he dangled me causing me to slightly choke. I kicked my feet anxiously under his grasp.

"I'm sorry…but we don't allow just any person with a problem entry to meet with the Apostle. Especially a child such as yourself! Now why don't you run along and I will forget all about this. How does that sound?" he replied bitterly.

"What's the big idea? Let me go and I'll start talking! I can barely breathe!" I struggled. The guard dropped me ruthlessly to the floor. My bottom hit the ground with a thud. I slowly collected my bearings and stood up. Before I began to speak, Devlin whispered in my ear.

"Please choose your words wisely, brother," he urged. I rolled my eyes at his caution.

"Okay! Mr. Guard…sir…I can assure you I won't cause any turmoil. Sanaki knows me; we met during the Mad King's war! So please inform her of my presence at once!" I demanded. The guard folded his armored arms over his chest and scoffed at my informality.

"How dare you address the Apostle by her name! What business would the Apostle have with a runt like you?"

I could feel my face growing red with his insult but for the moment I tried to hold myself together.

"It's super important and it absolutely cannot wait another second! It's about laguz slavery in Karoo!" I almost shouted. The guard grew silent for a moment and then exploded into laughter. I gritted my teeth together and balled up my fists. _Bastard….how dare he laugh! _

"Laguz slavery? _That _is your reason for wanting to speak with the Apostle? Bah! It would be embarrassing to bring an idealistic child like you to the Apostle! I will not waste her time by presenting you to her."

_I will not lose myself…I will hold it together._ Steam seemed to fume out of my ears as I tried desperately to hold back my anger.

"But a laguz will die if you don't let me talk to her! Someone's life is on the line! Please let me speak with her!" I implored. The guard laughed even louder at my response. His laughter caused my blood to boil with wrath. I wanted more than anything to fry him. As my body shook with rage I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Tormod…we have to remain level headed. We would not want to anger a guard of the Apostle!" Devlin murmured so only I could hear.

"Ha ha! You think that changes things? You want me to bring two little brats to speak with the Apostle in order to save _one_ life? Pah!" Rebuked the guard. At that point I feared I would subconsciously scorch the guard out of pure rage. Why was one life not worth saving? It was Muarim's life…and I _would _save it…I would not break my promise. _I'm coming Muarim…I swear I'm coming…I will speak to Sanaki and she will help us…she _will _help us. _

"That is exactly what I want you to do! That one life is everything to me! I absolutely will not leave here without speaking to Sanaki. So damn it just let me through already! I've already wasted enough time by arguing with you!"

"That's a pity! I'll be gone with you now. Get out of my sight, you damnable youth!" Yelled the guard. He thrusted his hands forward forcefully and pushed me toward the door. Then, something in my mind went astray. Whatever willpower was holding back my true angst was released. My eyes grew fiery and wild with hate and torment. I was done playing games, I would see the Apostle at what ever the cost even if I had to fight my way to her.

I ignited a scorching flame in my palm and held it above my head threateningly. I glared scornfully through the guard with my other hand shaking in fury.

"Tormod! Don't! Think about what you're doing!" Devlin pleaded.

"Since when are you the pacifist? I'm sorry Dev, but I'm going to do everything in my power to save Muarim and there's nothing anyone can do to stop me!" I argued.

The guard watched us converse closely and snickered. "A mage, hm? But you're just a child! I haven't had to use my lance in years and I don't intend to start now. Why don't you run home peacefully to your parents?"

I took a step closer to the armed guard and narrowed my eyes with contempt. "Yeah? Well you might want to start using it! You can either get out of my way or fry! Your choice, pal."

He laughed sinisterly at my tenacity and readied his lance for battle. "You'll regret those words, brat!" Within the blink of an eye he stabbed his lance toward my abdomen. I stealthily side stepped away and released a powerful spell that would turn him into nothing more than a pile of ash. I was able to land a hit on my first attempt and sent the guard crumbling to the ground shrieking in agony.

"You weren't kidding when you said you hadn't used that thing in a while!" I teased.

"Fool..." he managed to say before he lost consciousness. I stuck my tongue out at him childishly before I ran off to search for the Apostle.

"Brother! This is very very bad! You attacked a guard! More are sure to come now…it's only a matter of time before we're…"

Suddenly a small battalion of about five lance wielding guards came barreling through the throne room. My heart rate sped up as I lit another flame in my palm. The magic I housed danced in my palm, excited and ready to fight. The guards charged toward us, with their weapons in the air. I quickly ducked out of their way and sent more flames flying through the air.

Just when I thought I had disposed of them all a sword wielding guard approached me from behind. Before I could react he powerfully brought down his sword. I squeezed my eyes shut and bit my lip in anticipation of the horrendous pain that was to come. _Muarim…I tried…_

However, the pain failed to reach me. I peeled one eye open to survey the area and was greeted with a thick cloud of black murky smoke. The smoke disabled me to see and soon I found myself lost in it. Suddenly, I felt something grab hold of my hood and drag me away from the site. As soon as I was free from the smoke I coughed loudly and rubbed my eyes. Devlin stood over me with worry in his eyes.

"What the hell was that?" I roared. Devlin helped me to my feet and smiled nervously.

"It is darkness…. that is the kind of magic I am skilled in. But there is no time to chat. We must press forward!" he said. I raised one eyebrow up in perplexity.

"What's with the sudden change of heart?" I asked inquiringly.

"You've made up your mind and so have I! I promise to assist you in whatever way you see fit. Now, let's hurry!"

"Right!"

We dashed down several corridors and were continuously greeted by angry guards everywhere we turned. None of them were any match for Devlin's magic or mine. We left a trail of tumultuous destruction in our path. The floor was littered with the bodies of fallen guards. They left me with no choice…I had to fight them. It was my only hope to save Muarim. Sanaki would understand once I reached her…wouldn't she?

Devlin and I continued to take on guard after guard until we were met with the largest battalion yet with over twenty guards. Beyond them I could see a pretty woman with mint green hair and white armor standing beside the Apostle. The Apostle! I had finally reached her, but how would I survive this last obstacle?

"Stop right there! You may go no further!" yelled one of the many oncoming guards. I stood my ground and prepared myself for a bloody battle, as did Devlin. But this time, with the Apostle in sight, I tried another tactic before I resulted to my magic.

"SANAKI! PLEASE I NEED YOUR HELP! I know of a place that still practices laguz slavery and I need your help to stop it! THERE IS GOING TO BE AN EXECUTION!" I screamed as loud as my lungs would let me. Before I could search her face for a response the ambush of guards came charging toward me. This time I was unable to ready my magic. Several guards at once threw their hands at me and tackled me to the floor. Pain burst through my cheek as it was slammed through the marvel floor. I knew I was caught and I knew there was no escape. I ordered Devlin not to fight. I told him to surrender and as I did so more guards flooded the hall and cuffed Devlin with shackles.

Soon, my own hands were met with shackles as well. Then, I was brutally kicked on my side. I grunted and contracted my body in pain. _I can't give up…I can't give up…_

"SANAKI! Tomorrow at noon in the town of Karoo and innocent laguz will be executed! It is _Muarim_! Please help me! Please! SANAKI!" I cried. I shouted all the needed information to her…perhaps she would change her mind and help. I knew what I did was a crime but I prayed she would understand my motives. She must help me…for what other hope was there?

"Stand, you rogue! You are hereby under arrest." Reprimanded one of the guards. I tried to pull apart my shackles but my efforts were but a waste. I could not be arrested…I still had to save Muarim. There was no way…

I glanced at Devlin in alarm. He shook his head hopelessly and dropped his gaze to the floor. Panic clutched the pit of my stomach.

"No! You can't do this! SANAKI! PLEASE HELP ME!" I cried out one last time before the burly guards led us away. Just like that, the seedling of hope that began to sprout was crushed.


	27. Chapter 27 A Light in the Dark

Chapter 27 A light in the Dark

My face made harsh contact with the cold stone floor as I was shoved into a diminutive cell. Soon, I was greeted with another loud thud that was Devlin being tossed to the floor. I wearily picked my throbbing head up and hopped on my knees closer to the bars of the cell. Without the help of my arms (that were chained behind me) it felt terribly awkward. As I drew my terror stricken face closer to the bars, I was met with a deafening bang of the door being slammed shut. I rested my aching head on the rusted bars and looked wild-eyed at the retreating guards.

"You can't leave us here! Do none of you care about the harsh practices of laguz slavery?" I yelled. My words resulted in the booming laughter of several men. I had gotten my answer. "Let me speak to Sanaki!" I tried yet again.

Finally, one of the guards meandered his way to the other side of my cell. He crouched down and snickered menacingly.

"You keep asking that, kid, but no means no. The Apostle will not be speaking with you today," he said. I couldn't believe it. After everything I had done I was fated to rot in a jail cell. What a cruel world! How was I supposed to save Muarim locked up in jail? All I could think to do was send a gob of spit flying toward him; reasoning was no longer an option. The guard yelled in anger and wiped his face free of my saliva while turning bright red in anger. He kicked the walls of the cell and sent the rusted old bars rattling. "Damn you! You deserve to be locked up!" Then, he marched away without another word.

With no one left in the hall I scooted myself away from the bars. I looked to Devlin in utter hopelessness. Was this how it was truly going to end? I couldn't accept it…but yet what hope was there of escaping? Not a single ray of sunlight shined through our cell so I had no idea of what time it could be. All I knew was that time was passing and the sand in the hourglass was running thin. A sudden feeling of anger washed over me. I tried to pull apart my chains again and cried out as I did so.

"Damn it! Why! Why is this happening? This plan…this plan was terrible! And it was all your stupid idea! You knew this wouldn't work, didn't you? You…you no good shadow! This is all _your_ fault! You shouldn't even exist!" I sobbed. I slammed my forehead purposely on the stone floor with tears trickling into the corners of my lips. My body shook in despair and rage. I slammed my head again against the cold surface as if doing so would wake me up from the horrible nightmare. "Muarim….he's gonna…he's gonna….DAMN IT! You've wasted all my time! I should have fought by myself! I could have done something…anything! MUARIM!" I screamed and wailed into the floor with tears flying left and right. My heart pulsed rapidly with sorrow and pain. It thudded so strongly that I thought it might travel up my throat and out my mouth.

I sniffled back the rest of my sobs and sneeringly looked to Devlin to see if he was happy with himself for everything he had caused. However, when I picked my flaming eyes up, he was nowhere in sight. It was as if he completely disappeared into thin air. I scanned the cell alarmingly and frantically searched for him. But every time I looked around my results were always the same. He was not in the cell. He was gone.

"Now you've gone and escaped without me, have you? Well this is great! This is just great!" I hollered. How was he able to escape without being seen? How could I not have noticed? None of it seemed logical. But what did it matter? The reality of it was that he somehow managed to free himself and he had left me in the dust. _To think I was actually starting to warm up to him._

Once again I found myself yanking on the chains that bound my hands. Was it not horrible enough that they had me locked inside a cell? Why was it that I needed chains as well? Suddenly an interesting thought swam through my mind. Perhaps I could melt the chains with a quick fire spell. I hastily closed my eyes, eager to see if my idea would work. Then, I whispered a few hushed words and awaited the warm tingling sensation of fire in my palm. I waited and waited but yet the warmth failed to meet my skin like it always had. I concentrated my mind harder on the spell and drew forth more energy than normal, but still I could not light even a single spark.

"These are no ordinary chains…" I thought aloud. They had to have been what was holding back my magic that I so fervently called upon. "Damn it!" I howled with sorrow bleeding into my voice. I felt so entirely miserable that it was practically exhausting. I slumped into the corner of the cell. I wanted to hide my face in my hands but the shackles disabled me from doing so. There was nothing to do while being locked up but to think about Muarim and what he must be feeling. I pondered what he was doing right now. I hoped he wasn't being treated cruelly, but that was probably a silly wish to even dream of. Of course he was being treated with brutality. It's not as if he would be sipping tea with the nobles.

As I sulked in my sorrows I felt my eyelids threatening to close. When was the last time I had slept? I thought about it for a moment and then realized the last time I had fallen into a slumber was on Muarim's back on our walk through the desert. My chest ached wistfully at my realization.

"Muarim…I'm sorry…I don't want to…I don't want…I can't…" I cut my own mumbles short with a sharp cry. A terrible thought crossed my mind amidst my delirium. If Muarim were to die because I was too late…what would I do with myself? I could only think of one possible option to escape the pain, the idea made me nervous and cold. _But I can do it…it would be so simple and all I would need is a…_I shook my head viciously to stop myself from plotting any further. It was not over yet. There was still the rest of the day, the whole night, and tomorrow morning. There was time, but not much of it.

My eyes fought against my will to close. I tried to pick them up, but they were heavy like bricks. _I can't sleep now…I must escape…I must…_The voice inside my head grew weaker and weaker until I could no longer hear myself pleading to fight the drowsiness. Soon, my eyelids did close and the world around me went black. I tried to fight back a dream that slid into my unconscious mind, but I could not keep it at bay. Eventually, the terrible nightmare engulfed me and all I could do was let it happen.

_I stormed through my home with rage eating away at my fractured heart. I threw glass frames off of the wall and let them shatter to the floor. I ran over the shards of pointy glass and hissed in agony as it impaled my small foot. _It's nothing compared to what Muarim felt,_ I repeated those words over and over in my mind whenever a burst of pain shot through my foot. I made my way through the rest of the corridor being sure to knock down any vase, frame, or statue I could find. Nothing I did was enough to fan away the anger. _

_ Before long, I could hear a set of footfalls following my path of obliteration. My breathing became heavier with each click of heals that scurried through the hall. I turned around to face the one who was following me and screamed out, "Go away! I hate you!"_

_ "Tormod! Stop this madness now! You are causing much more destruction than you think. Calm yourself, child!" yelled my mother. I ignored her and continued to tear down every hanging from the wall. The only comforting noises around me were the breaking of glass on the wooden floor._

_ "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you! You hurt him! You hurt, Muarim! Go away!" I howled. She tried to grab me by the arm but I wiggled myself away from her hold. The anger was so immense that I could almost feel flames burning through my skin. _

_ "There is nothing you can do about that. Why don't you be a good boy and go to your room?" she said with venom creeping into her voice. I hated her so much in that moment that both of my hands shook. I couldn't even look at her so I stomped into my room leaving bloody footprints in my path. I did not obey her to be obedient; I only wanted to be away from her after what she did. I slammed the door hatefully behind me and began to tear apart my own room._

_ I ripped down the curtains and threw papers off my desk. I hurried back to the window to smash it open but a strange feeling stopped me. My hands burned and my mind went berserk. The burning traveled up my hands and all the way to my shoulder. Actual flames swirled up my arms. The flames glowed red and orange and crackled with wrath. I didn't know what was happening or why it was happening. But I did feel ten times more crazed as the fire consumed both of my arms. My mind was too out of sorts to even wonder why I had suddenly burst into flames. _

_ With the new and strange ability I sliced my arms across the walls of my room, setting them aflame. Smoke hung above my head and choked me as it grew thicker and thicker. The flames I had lit circled in around me, leaving me no passageway for escape. My feeling of anger was then replaced with terror. What had I done? _

_ The air grew even hotter and smokier by the second and my lungs were full of it. The flames became fueled with the wooden planks of the floor. All there was to see was a blur of red and orange. _I am going to die, _I thought. _

_ I screamed out in horror hoping someone would hear, but of course I could barely hear my own scream with the fire roaring constantly in my ear. I then noticed that the flames that were carefully wrapped around my arm were virtually gone. Did I imagine the whole thing? I could feel my mind beginning to melt along with everything else in my room. Dizziness took over me and I swayed where I stood in the ring of fire. I cried out one last time before I dropped to my knees in utter defeat. "Somebody help me!" I barked. _

_ Suddenly a crash and thud rose above the sizzling of flames. I tried to look up to see what just happened but my eyes wouldn't allow themselves to be burned. So I kept my face pressed against the small sliver of floor that had not yet caught fire. The floor was hot and burning but not nearly as bad as the flames themselves. I coughed violently into the floor; almost positive that my lungs would surface where I coughed. The dizzy feeling became even stronger and I could feel my consciousness fading. It wasn't until I felt my body lifting up that I could open my eyes. This time all my eyes could process was the color red, but it was not from the aggressive flames that almost ingested me, this time it was blood. I coughed violently into the body that held onto me tightly as I was taken far away from the now burning building. _

_ I had never seen a more vivid red in my life. It was shockingly bright and warm. The blood stained my cheek where I rested my head. Soon, we were outside where the air was purer and I could at last breathe. It was very late at night, no stars showed themselves in the sky. There was a thick blanket of darkness with smoke careening into the atmosphere. The colors of the flames stood out boldly against the night sky. I heard a few voices scream and I could faintly see a few men sprinting with barrels of water. _

_ "Little one…are you okay? Please tell me you are not injured too severely," came the voice I recognized as Muarim's. The blood on his body became even more frightening as I listened to him speak. I squirmed away from his hold and landed on both of my feet. I took a few steps back to get the entire image. Slash marks were deeply ingrained into his chest. Blood spilled from the wounds and dripped to the ground. I walked behind him to see if his back was harmed as well. My eyes met even deeper gashes going across his back. Even more blood poured from the open slits across his enflamed skin. I couldn't see anything but the horrible death liquid, there was too much of it for my youthful eyes to handle….way too much. Subsequently, I could feel everything around me go dark and cold. _

I shot my eyes open and found myself covered in sweat in the corner of my jail cell. My heart pulsated rapidly with tremendous terror. It was only a dream…I was not reliving the nightmare I so rarely thought about. The day Muarim and I ran away was dreadful. It was what truly opened my eyes to the cruelties beorc were capable of. I didn't like remembering that day…nor would I think about it anymore.

I moved myself out of the corner and closer to the rusted old bars. I looked down both of the hallways to see not even a single soul passing by. What time could it have been? I began to wonder how long I had fallen asleep for. Hopefully not long.

Suddenly, the sound of a quiet pitter-patter filled my ears. The noise was very faint, but it was there nonetheless. It had to be someone walking through, who was very light on their feet. Someone sneaking around perhaps? The idea excited me. Maybe I could beg whoever it was to set me free, so long as it wasn't a guard. Although the pitter-patter was barely audible, it became louder as if this unknown person was approaching me. My own heavy breathing was louder than the weightless feet gliding on the stone. Abruptly, the noise stopped, but that was only because the owner of the sound stood on the other side of my cell. My eyes became wide with absolute shock. Simultaneously, my heart fluttered with overwhelming joy and my face glowed with bliss. It couldn't be…it just couldn't be…how was it possible?

"Hey, Tormod! Long time no see," said none other than my greatest friend Sothe.

* * *

**Author's Note: **He is back! Haha... I couldn't resist. I'll get the next chapter up as soon as I can :)


	28. Chapter 28 The Return

Chapter 28 The Return

I kept wondering when I was going to wake up, but I never did. Sothe was there…on the other side of my cell! He must have been the source of the almost silent footfalls I heard. Millions of questions I wanted to ask him ran through my head, but at the moment all I could do was take in the absolute happiness that spread through my body.

"Sothe…? Sothe! How are you…what are…I think…I think I'm so happy I might actually die!" I cried out in joy. I pressed my face closer against the rusted bars of the cell. Sothe looked to me with a friendly smile. He leaned in closer to my cell so he could quietly mumble a few words.

"Hmm…well that would be a problem! Look…I have a hell of a lot of questions to ask you and I'm sure your wondering why the hell I'm here too but right now I've got to get you out of here as fast and swift as possible. No more talking…just follow my lead and for the love of the Goddess do not make any noise! Am I clear?" He whispered.

I stared at him adoringly. Not only could I trust he would break me free but I had missed him terribly. I remembered our good-bye briefly and it wasn't pleasant to think about. But none of that mattered anymore. Sothe was with me, breaking me out of jail. I wondered how much he knew…did he know why I was jailed? Did he know what was going on? I doubted he would know about Muarim. But all of these questions would have to be put on hold until later.

I watched him fiddle with the lock on the door of the cell. He held a small slender knife in one hand and the lock in the other. He slid a part of the knife up and a thin arched piece of metal protruded from the side of it. I assumed the arched metal to be a lock pick. He then shoved the pick where the keyhole would be. He wiggled the pick around briefly until I could hear a glorious clicking sound as the lock opened without its key. He caught the lock in his hand before it could hit the ground and make noise.

"Just like magic!" I shouted impulsively. Sothe shot me a terrifying glare in return. "Sorry…sorry…" I mumbled back. He swung the door of the cell open slowly and carefully, to be sure it wouldn't creak. I stared in disbelief at the wide open door and my friend that was on the other side of it. I could have cried…given the time. Instead, I scurried off the floor and stood next to Sothe. I wanted to hug him but the mysterious magic-stealing chains cuffed around my hands disabled me from doing so. I then turned around and showed Sothe the cuffs.

He pulled my chained hands closer to him. I could feel his warm sweaty hand clenched around my wrist. Then, I heard a small ding as the lock pick touched the keyhole of the cuffs. Sothe jerked my hands as he dug around with the pick. Soon, I was greeted with a beautiful clicking noise. I felt weightless as the chains slid from my hands and into Sothe's hold. He carefully placed them into a dark corner of the cell. As he came back from the inside of the cell I tackled him with hugs. I wrapped my arms around his whole torso and squeezed him as tight as I possibly could. I had wanted to do that for a while. His body stiffened in shock and he fought against my strong grasp.

"Thank you…thank you…" I whispered gratefully. My face beamed with gladness so ferociously that a single tear slid down my cheek. As more tears began to well up I could feel Sothe's body relax. I loosened my grip on him and removed myself from his torso for I knew he was probably anxious to get the show on the road. When I looked to his face I expected him to shoot me an angry glare like he did before. However, I could see worry shining through his multi-colored eyes and he grinned reassuringly. He placed his hand on my shoulder and nodded his head as if to say "it's going to be okay, we're getting out of here."

Sothe and I hurried down the long hall way silently. As we were about to turn a corner Sothe stopped in his tracks and pulled me by the hood to stop me from going further. He pressed his body against the wall and motioned for me to do the same.

"Wow! Sneakin' around with Sothe…how fun!" I blurted out. Sothe angrily held his index finger up to his closed lips. I immediately felt a wave of guilt since I hadn't realized till then what I had done. "Right…" I muttered. The whole no talking business was starting to become an issue.

Sothe peered his head around the corner to get a look on what was on the other side. He motioned for me to move along and I obeyed. As we continued down the torch lit hallway I noticed Sothe appeared agitated for some reason. His paces became smaller and smaller until they came to a complete stop. I stopped with him and stared at him in confusion. He crouched down and rubbed his hand over the surface of the floor. He closed his eyes briefly only to shoot them open in terror.

Suddenly I could hear the loud clanking of the metal moving closer and closer toward us. I was certain that my racing heartbeat was audible.

"Sothe! What are we gonna-" I began until his hand shielded my mouth from spilling more words.

He drew his face closer to my ear and murmured almost silently, "Act like you belong here." How was that supposed to work? Clearly, I didn't belong wandering around the halls of the basement of the Cathedral. A feeling of panic strangled me, but Sothe was the thief. He snuck around on a daily basis. I knew I could trust him, I had no other choice.

I swallowed down my fears and continued walking along naturally with Sothe at my side. The clanking of metal resonated loudly. I focused my stare on the floor so I would not make accidental eye contact with the passing guard. Now the clanking was so loud that I could feel the ground vibrating underneath me. My muscles tensed up and my breathing labored. I was surprised not to feel tension radiating from Sothe when the heavily armored guard passed us by.

"Hey, how you doing?" said Sothe without a hint of fear creeping into his voice. The guard barely stopped moving to respond to Sothe. He didn't look to see where the voice came from. He kept his eyes glued forward.

"Good. You?" the guard replied in monotone. _I can't believe it…_

"I'm fine, thanks." _Is it really possible to be that…stupid? _I couldn't believe how natural Sothe could act around a person who could easily throw our asses in jail. How did we get lucky enough to cross paths with such an ignorant guard? As I speculated what just happened Sothe pulled me closer to him to get my attention. He mouthed the word "run". My heart lurched. Perhaps we weren't so lucky.

Sothe pulled me by the wrist and darted down the hallway, no longer caring how loud our footfalls were. We turned a sharp corner and came to a worn down wooden door. Sothe quickly approached it and turned the handle. The handle failed to move from its stationary position. The door was locked.

To make matters even worse I heard the metal clanking again, but this time the steps were harder and faster. The guard must have come across the empty jail cell and wised up. Sothe swore under his breath and pulled out the small shiny knife again. This time as he enabled the lock pick his hands shook. He was scared and so was I.

"I'll fight him! Just get the door open," I suggested.

Sothe shook his head nervously and began to speak now that we were already caught. "No! You look terrible…I'm not letting you fight. I just need to hurry my ass up. Keep your voice low."

I reluctantly agreed as Sothe continued to vigorously pick at the lock. The clanking of metal grew closer and the sound was extremely unnerving. I held my breath as I closely observed Sothe struggling to open the locked door. Did I truly get freed only to be imprisoned again? _No, I must have faith that Sothe will get us out of here._

Sothe turned the lock pick inside the keyhole one last time until he was able to turn the handle all the way around. "Got it!" he said. Relief washed over both of us as I sprinted through the door and up a flight of stairs. Sothe shut the door behind me, in hope that maybe the guard would overlook the closed door. The staircase was pitch black with not even a glimmer of light to illuminate our path. We held on to each other tightly partly for our own safety and partly because fear was munching away at both of us. There was no way to tell how long the stairs went on for and where the exit was.

"Wait a second!" I thought out loud. I murmured a weak and simple fire spell and my hand glowed to life with a bouncing red flame. Now, we could see that our path appeared relatively long. "Great…this is going to take forever!" I complained. Sothe hurried ahead to investigate the rest of the path.

"No it's not that long! See, it's dark out so it's hard to tell where this corridor begins and ends," said Sothe from a distance. I wished I had heard him sooner as I felt the stairs disappear. I stumbled forward from the shock of the flat surface.

"Oh…I see…." I picked my head up too see where we were. It looked like we were in a back alley of Sienne. Suddenly a jolt of fright burned inside my chest. "Wait…no…no! It's…it's…dark! No it can't be dark! It hasn't been that long! No!" I shouted out. Sothe stared at me strangely.

"Why does that matter? C'mon keep moving and talk to me as we walk. That guard might not be as dumb as we think he is…"

We made our way out of the alley and into the streets of Sienne. The streets were empty of people, probably because it had to have been very late at night. The surrounding darkness made me go numb with fear.

"Okay…so what's going on? I'm all ears," said Sothe in concern. I explained everything to him how Muarim was set to be executed tomorrow at noon and how I was actually the son of a slave owner. The truth felt strange coming out of my mouth. I felt shamed to speak of my past.

"Tormod…I had no idea you were the son of…are you sure? It seems a little unlikely," he spoke. I somberly nodded my head in agreement. I hated that it was all true.

"I'm sure. Sothe…everything…everything is a mess. I don't know what to do," I said with my voice wavering. Sothe and I exchanged glances of worry.

"You said you went to the Cathedral with someone, who was it?" he asked. I told him about Devlin and how he was the missing puzzle piece to the curse.

"You mean that mark on your wrist? You're saying you have a doppelganger? Well that's a bit…creepy!" he remarked. I could hardly believe that he was accepting what I was saying. It even sounded ridiculous just admitting it.

"You don't think I'm crazy?" I asked in skepticism. Sothe put on a kindly smirk and chuckled.

"You know I think your crazy! But I thought that _way_ before you told me about this. But that's why I like you…things never get boring and someone's gotta keep you out of trouble. Besides…as crazy as your explanation sounds it does make sense…if you have a doppelganger then that's probably why I thought I saw you that day when you swore you were elsewhere."

I let out a deep and heavy sigh. It was so difficult to explain that Devlin wasn't actually my doppelganger and he honestly didn't appear very evil during the time I spent with him. But that was before he disappeared out of my sight and left me to rot in a cage, now things were different. I attempted to explain to Sothe that he was my shadow and had taken human form when I casted the deadly spell during the war.

"Yeah, this is why I'm not a mage. All this magic mumbo-jumbo makes my head hurt. But, I take your word for it. You generally know your shit when it comes to magic. So…what now? We're both wanted outlaws for sure…should we head to uh…Karoo was it?"

By the time he had asked that question we were on the border between Sienne and the Grann Desert. At first I was surprised he was so willing to cross the desert to help me. But a part of me knew heading down that road would certainly lead to inevitable danger. I couldn't risk potentially losing someone else close to me. Even if that didn't matter to me, given the new circumstances, I wasn't sure if we would even make it to Karoo by noon. Saving Muarim almost seemed like a pipe dream. I was shocked that so much time had passed while I was locked away…time I could have been using valuably that was utterly wasted. The time must have slipped away when I fell asleep. _Damn my weariness. _

"No…I can't let you risk your life for me…I've already lost-" Sothe cut me short.

"You haven't lost him yet! Let me help; let's leave right now. If we start walking now we might make it on time."

Strangely enough I felt a cool breeze tickle my skin. An ominous rumbling sound filled the sky. I stared at Sothe with all the sorrow I bared showing through my face. He was such a great friend but…I couldn't drag him with me, it was too risky.

"We'll never make it! It's already too late…and if just me and you go it's a death wish for sure. Sothe…it…it's over. I've lost him…Muarim…he…he…" I could barely finish my thought as tears strangled my throat. Another menacing boom echoed through the air with a bright flash of light following soon after. I could feel the wind beginning to pick up as it tossed my hair in several different directions.

"Stop it! Since when are you all doom and gloom? You used to be so optimistic it was frightening! You'll regret not trying to save Muarim…I swear you will! Look, I'm your friend…we promised we would always be friends and I'm here now. So please let me help you," he pleaded.

"Why are you here? I mean…how could you have known I was in jail." Sothe rolled his eyes, seeming annoyed that I was changing the topic abruptly.

"I was already in Begnion and you caused quite the uproar. Rumors were spreading really fast and by the time they reached my ears I realized there was only one person stupid enough to try and pull something like that off…and look how right I was!"

I didn't smile or laugh at his joke. I felt like a dark cloud was consuming my mind. My thoughts were so solemn that I couldn't even muster up the strength to formulate a potential strategy on how to stop the execution in time. I wanted to save Muarim…more than anything. It was failure that frightened me most. I wouldn't be able to bare the sight of his limp body, cold and breathless. If I ever had to behold such a sight I could imagine that my mind would collapse into ruins and I would lose all will to live.

"Now that you know why I'm here…what do you say? Let's stop the execution!" he urged. Another foreboding flash of lightning lit up the sky. _Heat lightning_, I thought to myself.

"But Sothe…I feel like I've already lost. What could we possibly do?" I spoke sorrowfully. Sothe scratched the back of his head as he strategized a way for us to win this battle. It was quiet for a moment, except for the rumbling that preceded the blinding flashes of lightning. I dropped my eyes hopelessly to my feet. "I feel like…I feel like everything is in ruins."

Sothe jumped as I spoke and his eyes were beaming with an idea. "Say that again?" he asked peculiarly. My brows furrowed in confusion but I did I was told regardless.

"I said I feel like everything is in ruins," I repeated. Sothe smiled brilliantly with eagerness etched on his face.

"That's it! Your base is somewhere in the Grann Desert right? In those ruins? We can't be that far from there! You could rally up all of the laguz and bring them to Karoo to start a riot! Strength in numbers as they say."

"That's a good idea but…we'd never make it! The execution is _tomorrow_. Maybe if I had done that from the get-go…but that damn shadow convinced me otherwise!"

I felt like crumbling to the ground in defeat. Sothe's idea was good but not good enough. Time was an important factor. A factor that could not be ignored. Sothe sighed in frustration, his temper beginning to flare.

"Damn it, Tormod! What other option is there? It's all we can do at this point! We have to try…for Muarim's sake and for your own sanity! I can see what this is doing to you…and frankly it scares me. You used to be so upbeat and cheery…this isn't you at all."

As I listened to Sothe speak I felt the overpowering urge to break down and cry in front of him, exposing the rest of my weakness. I wanted to be the person he remembered me as but with the possibility of losing Muarim there was no way I could ever be that person again.

"Let's just try," he repeated. "It's better than sitting back and doing nothing." Somewhere along the line I lost my ability to speak. Sothe was right in a way. I did need to try but it would be difficult with the lingering thought that we might be too late. Sothe noticed my face going blank. "The Goddess forbid the unthinkable should happen….I'll…I'll be there for you, okay? But no way am I going to let that happen, you hear? We _will_ stop it! I know we can if we leave right now, I can steal all the food and water we'll need for the journey. So…are you with me?"

Sothe appeared more determined than I had ever seen him. I was so grateful…I truly was. I didn't want him risking his life for my sake but there really was no convincing him out of it. I decided then that I would try, for Muarim, but with one condition. The condition being something I had been thinking about on again and off again. A way of escape if we were to not make it in time.

"Okay…okay fine! We'll try. I mean…Muarim has always protected and taken such good care of me. It's time I return the favor," I declared. Sothe grinned in relief.

"Finally you've come to your senses! All right…just hold on for one more second while I gather some things we'll need…strictly the bear minimum." Sothe prepared to leave but before he disappeared from my sight I grabbed him by his arm. There was still the condition that would need to be addressed.

"Wait! There's just one more thing…I need you to promise me something, okay?" I said shakily. My stomach fluttered with nerves from what I was about to say. I had been thinking about the "condition" frequently but by putting it into words it would appear more real than a thought racing through my head. It would be reality once spoken.

"Sure, what is it?" he asked.

"If Muarim dies…" I began.

"Which he won't!"

"_If _he does. Sothe…I've been thinking that…that I want to…Sothe….I want to end my own life." There. It was out. I said it. The horrible thought that had been haunting me was now out in the open for Sothe's ears to absorb. "And I want you to stay out of my way…"

At first, Sothe's face grew deathly white. I could tell that he was hurt by what I said and that he was also terrified, terrified for me. But when I told him to stay out of my way he exploded into a fit of rage.

"Tormod! What has gotten into you? There's no way I'd ever stand by and let you end your own life! I couldn't do it! Stop thinking so negatively, if you keep thinking Muarim is going to die you'll drive yourself insane! You're already half way there too!" He shouted angrily. Tears began to fall from eyes like a light rain shower.

"Sothe…it's something that I can't stop thinking about! I can't make the thoughts go away. It hurts so much already…what is it going to feel like when he's really gone? There won't be anything worth living for…and I don't want to feel like this anymore." I held back the true weight of my tears with a sniffle and a quivering lip. I wasn't sure why I was crying. Was I already mourning myself? A part of me lost real hope so long ago that it was nearly impossible to spark it back to life.

Sothe's face was rid of any sympathy. His eyes narrowed in fury and he scowled at my weakness. His hands balled up into tight fists at his side, pulsing with rage.

"STOP IT! Do you have any idea how selfish and cowardly it is to kill yourself? It's the weakling's way out! How could you have even considered it enough to speak it out loud? And what about me? We're supposed to be friends and you act like you have nobody who cares about you besides Muarim! You know damn well that's not true!" He roared. His sudden outburst left me in shock, but I wasn't about to stand there and take it.

"It's not only that…the root is even deeper. Ever since I started remembering my life….I just….I haven't been happy. The memories are so horrible…and I don't want to be bothered by them anymore. I don't want to remember…I wish I could bury the memories like I did before…but I just can't! Sothe….I hate this…I hate everything!"

It all seemed ten times more horrifying coming out of my lips. My head was pulsing and my blood was rushing. I knew every word I was saying was only pissing Sothe off even more, but I needed to hear myself say it. I wasn't sure why…but I needed to hear the reality of the pain that burnt in my chest.

"So what? I get that your hurt from all of this…but you're not alone! You never were! We promised to always be friends…and friends don't leave each other to die. Do you have any idea how it makes me feel? Knowing that you're losing your will to live? Just tell me this is all a joke so we can laugh about it," said Sothe. He stared at me intensely; his eyes almost seemed to shake with a small shred of hope that maybe I was just kidding. I knew and he knew that I was dead serious. It was a measure I would take if Muarim were to die.

"I'm serious, Sothe. So please just stay out of my way…if I need to…if Muarim…you get the point." Why were the words becoming increasingly difficult to say now?

"Stop pushing me away! I hate this gloomy person you've become! I hate it! Where's the real Tormod? Because it's not you!" he snapped. Sothe's face reddened in ferocity. His eyes were gleaming with such extreme antagonism that it was enough to cause the average person to tremble in fear.

"Shut up! That person…that person is gone! He left a long time ago."

After those words were spoken, all sense of control in Sothe was vanquished. He pulled me closer to him by my shirt and used his free hand and balled it up into a shaking fist. "Sorry I have to do this," he said. He pulled his arm back and brought it down powerfully on my cheek. His punch sent me flying to the ground. Once my body hit the earth I felt the undeniable throbbing of my cheekbone. But I didn't dwell on the pain for long as a new feeling of anger rushed through my body. I swiftly stood up and sent my own fist projecting toward Sothe. At first my fist landed on his cheek but it then slid across the rest of his face, drawing blood from his nose. My breathing quickened from the adrenaline.

My victory was short, however, as Sothe sent another forceful fist flying toward my other cheek. Pain burst from where his fist, that felt more like a rock, touched my skin. I could taste the sweetness of blood inside my mouth. But this time I kept my footing and prepared to send one of my punches soaring his way. I balled up my aching knuckles again and sent my fist spiraling to his right eye. Sothe nearly fell backwards at the impact.

Now, my fist was severely throbbing. One more hit and I was certain my bones would snap. Sothe had to have been feeling the same way but he didn't show his pain, he masked it very well. As I pondered my discomfort Sothe took advantage to deliver a dangerous blow across my eye. I cried out in pain and instantly threw my hand to shield my tender eye. Sothe took advantage again to shove my body to the ground with all the force he could muster. My back erupted with the most pain I had felt so far. Sothe quickly crouched on top of me, breathing exceedingly heavily. He pinned me to the ground and I knew then that I had lost.

"Tell me…you want…to live…" he managed between gasps for air. Immediately, I shook my head with resistance but I was wishing I hadn't after. Sothe raised his arm in the air and once again sent his fist soaring for my cheekbone. The impact was so dreadful this time that I felt like one more belt and I would be unconscious for sure. I spit up blood from my mouth and it cascaded down my neck.

"SAY IT!" he shouted zealously. _One more hit and I'm out cold. Muarim…I'm sorry I'm taking so long but I coming…I swear I coming…thank you Sothe. _His last punch seemed to knock my sense back into me. What was I doing? Fighting Sothe? _This isn't me…_

"I don't want to die anymore! I want to save Muarim!" I cried. Tears gushed down my cheeks like a waterfall. My eyes became hot and itchy and I struggled to catch a breath between sobs. Sothe smiled in satisfaction.

"Good, then let's get the hell out of here."

* * *

**Author's Note- **Well there ya have it! Hope everything turned out okay...I can't wait to write the next chapter and start the race against time. Thanks for reading! Reviews are always nice too :)


	29. Chapter 29 A Powerful Ally

Chapter 29 A Powerful Ally

Sothe rolled away from his position, no longer pinning me to the ground or hovering over my face. He laid on his back for a moment, next to me, just letting himself catch his breath. I was in a similar state. I panted loudly and drew in every breath of air as if it would be my last. The fight exhausted the both of us. My face was soar where Sothe's fist made contact, most notably underneath my eye on the cheekbone.

After a moment of just breathing Sothe finally stood up. _He's stronger than me,_ I thought. The idea of moving made me a tad uneasy after being jostled around so harshly. As Sothe got to his feet, he became aware that I was still on the ground, breathing just as heavily as before. He offered me a bloody hand.

"Is this for real? Or are you just going to drop me this time?" I asked with an amused smile. Sothe's eyes brightened with the recollection of the time we spent together during the war. I could see in Sothe's eyes the image of him offering me some help up only to drop me rudely to the cold ground. I remembered that moment vividly. It was immediately after Reyson practically brought me back to life and I had set off in search of my grief-stricken friend.

_"Need a hand?" Said Sothe. I playfully rolled my eyes and grabbed onto his hand. Once I was almost up he let out a loud gasp and dropped my hand. I fell to the ground once more and rubbed my bottom._

_"Ah come on this is getting old and my butt is getting sore…" I complained._

Before Sothe responded I grabbed a hold of his bleeding hand. The blood felt warm and slippery as my hand held on to his. Suddenly, he playfully let go for a split second. Just before I slammed into the ground he caught a hold my hand and smirked mischievously.

"Nah…not now. I beat you up enough for one day," he replied. He hoisted me up and I stumbled a bit as I stood. When I got a look at Sothe's face I almost jumped. A dark and distinct black eye was beginning to form. As he let go of my hand I could tell that his knuckles were both bruised and bleeding.

"You've got a little something right there," I teased and put my pointer finger on his black eye.

"Yeah? Well it looks like someone brushed a line of black paint under your eye." Then we both giggled, our immediate shift in mood didn't feel strange at all. It felt natural…it felt good.

"Here…I can heal it if you want," I offered. He politely shook his head in return.

"No time for that. I'll manage. Just stay here and I'll gather what we'll need. It'll be faster if I go alone….uh, no offense," he replied sheepishly, afraid that he might come off as offensive. But to me, there really wasn't anything offensive about the truth. Sneaking around wasn't my affinity and I was okay with that.

"Just be careful, okay? Guards could be tracking us," I warned. My friend nodded his head and took off in an instant. Before long he was completely out of my sight. The ominous rumbles of thunder and streaks of lightning seemed to vanish. Now, it was quiet. The silence was almost comforting as I stared over the tall sand dunes of the Grann Desert. _Home is so close. Everyone will be happy I've come back but…how will I tell them about Muarim? And my past? Would they hate me if they knew? _Every possibility of their reactions crossed my mind. There wouldn't be much time for explanations anyway once I've reached the ruins. I could only imagine having just enough time to tell them Muarim was in trouble and that we had to leave immediately. Every morsel of time was crucial. There would be no time for details.

Instead of driving myself mad with my thoughts I took the free time I was given to heal any injuries I had acquired during the fight. As I cleared my face of the bruises with a simple healing spell an uneasy feeling washed over me. The feeling was peculiar…like someone was perhaps watching me. Yes, there was definitely another presence, I was not alone. Was it possible Sothe was already back? No, he had only left a few minutes ago, that would be impossible. Then, I fooled myself into believing it was just a pedestrian walking by. _This late at night…I doubt it. _Maybe it was not an innocent bystander…

Eyes on my back. The feeling was so distinct and this time I was positive someone was watching me. Staring at me. The gaze was intense and burned through my back like fire. I swallowed deeply before I prepared myself to turn around and confront who ever was observing me. Nerves gripped me before I turned my head. My stomach fluttered with anticipation.

I slowly rotated my entire body so I was facing the opposite direction. Nothing could have prepared me for what stood before me, or should I say who stood before me. My heart plummeted as I looked into the warm golden eyes of the Apostle. How could it be? Was she there to arrest me? By herself? I wanted to ask those questions but the situation called for a yell to escape my lips, for the shock was so immense. However, before my astonished yell could reach full blast, Sanaki cupped her hand over my mouth and silenced me with a nearly inaudible, "Shhh." Her hand was so warm and smooth against my mouth but I couldn't help but to let my eyes bulge in surprise. The way she held her hand over my mouth rendered me unable to breathe out of my nose.

She noticed my inability to take in a breath of air and hesitantly released her hand. "Must you be so loud?" she reprimanded. I had to have looked dumb founded because what she said next assuaged all of my fears. "I'm not here to arrest you, so wipe that look off your face!"

I sighed in relief and relaxed my tensing up muscles. "Phew…that's the greatest news I've heard all day! So…uh…where's your normal entourage? Did you come here by yourself?" I asked. She scoffed at my question and rolled her shimmering gold eyes.

"Yes, I came here on my own. I'm plenty capable of doing things for myself, you know?" she replied while quirking up one violet eyebrow.

"Uh…yeah, yeah, sure! What ever you say!" Awkwardness trickled into my voice. Being polite to someone of higher social status wasn't something I was used to. The short time I lived under the roof of a noble I was too young to learn what was polite and impolite in conversation. _Oh well…a person can only know so much, right?_

"I wouldn't have gotten out quite so easily if it weren't for that strange boy you were with," she added.

"Devlin? You met him? How?"

"He was more like an anomaly than a beorc child…he just simply appeared in my quarters like it was nothing strange at all!"

Yes, that actually made sense. He vanished from our cell without even a word of where he was going. To think he would reappear in front of the Apostle! Why had he failed to tell me he had the ability to warp?

My urge to giggle got the better of me. "Haha! Devlin does weird stuff like that all the time, that's just kind of how he is," I responded. I no longer felt deceived knowing Devlin had only vanished to speak with the Apostle. And she was not here to arrest me, so he had to have done something right.

"Well, that boy told me everything. What you did was beyond idiotic, but I suppose you've realized that by now. I would have brought along my holy guard but I can't risk this matter going public and then those irksome senators finding out about it. They aren't too fond of laguz…as you may know."

I couldn't believe it. How did Devlin do it? I felt ashamed for even thinking him a trader. "But won't everyone notice you've gone missing?" I asked.

"I worried about that myself as well until that strange boy said 'I've got you covered'. At first I had not the slightest clue what he could do to mask my disappearance until he did the most bizarre thing. In seconds I was staring into my own eyes. Were you aware your friend can shift his form? I found it most unusual…"

A feeling of alarm swept over me. I remembered Devlin telling me how he could replicate anyone whom he'd laid eyes on but not quite so easily.

"Yeah…I know he can do that. But…he said it makes him really weak…I'm not sure how long he can hold the ruse for," I said worriedly.

"He promised to shift into my body only if needed. So I suppose by doing that he can gather more energy." I stroked my warm wrist with our crest in unease. For some reason, I felt that he would be forced to shift into Sanaki more than he anticipated. My eyes wandered to the crest and suddenly something hit me. The crest seemed much lighter than usual…almost like it was fading. _Devlin…don't do anything stupid…_

My unease left me feeling nervous. What would happen if Devlin shifted for too long? My fading crest only deepened my worries.

"The Dark Arts are something most would stay away from…" she cautioned.

"I know…I know…well I know now. I didn't know what I was doing when I found the…ah never mind…I can't really get into all the details now." There wasn't enough time to tell her how Devlin came to be seeing as Sothe would be coming soon.

"Hmph. Desperate times call for desperate measures I guess. I'll have to put my faith into that boy…for now."

A new hope radiated from my skin. Had I acquired another ally to help in the fight against time? And such a powerful one at that! Surely with her authority causing an uproar at the execution would be simple. I only wondered how well she would be able to fend for herself. I knew she wasn't dull-witted in the least though, so I was sure she had some form of self-defense. Right?

The possibility that maybe she did not briefly crossed my mind. _I couldn't take her if that's the case but who am I to stop an empress from doing something? _After my fight with Sothe…things were different. Risks would have to be taken if I wanted to see Muarim again. He's worth it. If the matter was flip-flopped Muarim would take any possible measure to save me, so I had to have faith in the ones that would help me.

It all seemed like a pipe dream that Sanaki was standing before me. How could any of it be real? I watched her carefully to be sure she wasn't an illusion. She tossed her violet pin-straight hair so it rested along her back. She then adjusted her long crimson cape that hung low on her shoulders. It didn't take long for me to notice how many layers of clothing she seemed to have on. Her clothing was rich looking and undeniably regal. Every layer of garb was embellished with intricate designs. Nothing less than the best for royalty, I supposed.

We were both silent for a moment as I observed her. Sanaki seemed as if she were somewhere else until her unnaturally golden eyes met mine inevitably. I couldn't help but to think that Sanaki was…pretty…very pretty.

As she caught me staring I instantly opened my mouth to fill the awkwardness. "So…you're really going to come with us?" I verified.

"Us?" she asked. Right…I hadn't told her about Sothe.

"Oh! Well my friend Sothe was the one that broke me out of jail and right now he's stealing everything we'll-"

Suddenly a fresh pair of footsteps reached my ears. I turned around to see Sothe turning a brighter shade of red each second.

"Tormod! What the hell do you think you're doing?" he scolded in near embarrassment.

"Oh hey Sothe! Haha! Don't get mad, she's going to help us! Right?" I faced Sanaki and awaited her verification. Her face softened and she politely grinned.

"Yes, that's right," she declared. Sothe gaped his mouth open in disbelief. I could tell he was having trouble taking it in. I took a minute to explain to him all that had happened since he left. But with each word I spoke he appeared more and more indifferent.

"But…this…this is practically kidnapping!" he shouted in objection. I shook my head in return.

"No way! It's not like we are forcing her to come, she said she _wants_ to help and we have no right to tell her otherwise," I countered.

Sothe sighed in frustration. "But…if something happens to her…do you have any idea how much trouble we would be in? She should at least bring along a body guard or…or something!"

"No, Sothe! She's trying to keep this whole thing on a low profile. If she doesn't want it going public then it won't! She's the empress, so it's her choice."

Sothe rubbed his temples with his hand. Clearly the idea of taking along Sanaki wasn't appealing to him. Sanaki then spoke out on her behalf.

"Neither of you need to protect me. My magic makes for a formidable opponent. And yes, I do want to help. This kind of beorc behavior has been bothering me to no end. I don't want to see this happening in Begnion anymore," she spoke.

Yes, she was definitely an ally. I could no longer resist the smile that was sneaking its way onto my face. I was positive she wouldn't lie about being skilled in magic, she was the empress after all, someone talented had to have trained her. I wished Sothe could share my joviality but he continued to resist her help.

"Look…it's really great you want to help but…we're already pretty unpopular around here and if you come home with so much as a scratch on you..." Sothe began.

"Sothe, she won't! This is her choice, okay? If we want to save Muarim then she's our best bet. We need all the help we can get…and look how much time we've wasted by arguing about this!" I snapped.

"I…I can't…we can't take her! It's one more thing to worry about…and it looks like we are kidnapping her! I know we aren't but that's sure what it looks like! Our heads will roll if the officials of Begnion think the same as I do…"

It was obvious I wasn't getting through to him. What more could I say? Having Sanaki by our side would be beneficial. I didn't even let long term consequences cross my mind. Who cared what the senators thought? Or the rest of Begnion? Sanaki would speak out on our behalf if needed.

Sanaki took a few steps closer to Sothe seeming slightly agitated. "How about this…either let me come with you now or I arrest you both," she wagered.

Sothe bit down on his lip and mumbled profanities under his breath. He then laughed nervously and put on a fake smile. "Well when you put it like that…what are you waiting for? Let's do this!" he replied with enthusiasm. I giggled at his acceptance because now he could no longer argue.

"That's the spirit! So…are we all set to go?" I asked. Sothe patted the sack that was slung over his shoulder.

"Yup…let's get a move on."

I looked to Sanaki and grinned. "No second thoughts?" I asked.

"None."

"Great! Then let's go!"

* * *

The walk through the Grann Desert wasn't as unbearably hot as it traditionally was. Since the pristine darkness blanketed the sun there was no blistering heat to cause any of us discomfort. The temperature was endurable and kept me alert.

The three of us walked in a horizontal line. Sothe was to my left and Sanaki to my right. Neither of us spoke for a while. Sothe and Sanaki appeared occupied with their own thoughts. I didn't need the ability to read minds to know that Sothe was thinking how terrible an idea it was to bring Sanaki. However, I wasn't sure why, but I had a very strong feeling that Sanaki was powerful. Way more than Sothe would ever give her credit for.

I couldn't put my finger on what Sanaki was thinking about. She stared straight forward with a determined look about her. I pondered if it was possible that she was worrying about whether or not Devlin could succeed. It was a thought that troubled me too but there was nothing that could be done.

My crest was still fading which was disquieting. I knew the marking on my wrist was what bound Devlin and I. If it was wearing away…then Devlin was unquestionably struggling to hold his ruse. _Just hang on a little bit longer, brother…_

As we continued on I took note of the undeniable sensation of sand in my boot. I wanted to stop to shake them free and rid myself of the inconvenience but enough time had already been wasted. It had to have been well after midnight by now.

My thoughts inevitably drifted back to Muarim. I missed him terribly. Usually we were inseparable. He never liked me wandering off on my own. He always had to be close behind incase any danger were to rise. At times he was definitely overprotective…but that was just how he was. I always felt guilty whenever I was hurt because I knew he would just blame himself for not protecting me, which was how we were brought into this whole mess in the first place. He took the blame for any injury I acquired during and after the war. None of it was his fault though. He couldn't protect me from _everything_, he had to know that.

Soon the sky would be turning a purplish hue as the sun rose. I estimated that by the time the sun revealed itself we would be at my base. We were making good time, which was great. The real struggle would be rallying the emancipation army and getting them all to Karoo in time.

My eyes wandered to Sanaki again. She still seemed to be deep in thought but I couldn't help but to stare at her. Her radiant purple hair blew away from her and the incandescent glow of the crescent moon shined light on her face and made her eyes shimmer brighter than normal.

I could feel Sothe's gaze on my back. I peeled my eyes away from Sanaki and toward my friend. He raised one eyebrow at me and quickly glanced at Sanaki. I broke a nervous sweat as every parcel of blood rushed to my cheeks. I hastily averted his gaze.

"This is the way to the town, correct?" asked the empress.

"Oh! Ha…whoops I guess I didn't tell you that we are heading toward the base of my emancipation army first. We can't jump into battle alone…that would end badly. But my laguz friends would do anything to help out Muarim," I replied.

"And you think we'll have enough time to do that?" she questioned.

"I hope so."

She nodded her head in agreement and we carried on. My body felt exhausted but I doubted I would be able to sleep even if I did have the time. There were too many feelings buzzing through my mind. I couldn't wait to have Muarim back. His prolonged absence made me feel itchy with anxiety. He would live past noon. I was so sure of it. With Sanaki, Sothe, and my laguz friends we couldn't lose. Our only opponent now was time. But I was positive we could beat it. The tiny seedling of hope grew ever stronger, soon it would be blossoming and flourishing. _Yes….we can really do this_, I thought repeatedly to myself. I began to deem there really was a light at the end of the tunnel.

Suddenly, Sothe's voice broke my thoughts. "Hey Tormod, are you…feeling okay now?" His voice was full uncertainty. _Guess I really scared him back there…_

I grinned heartily at him. "Yeah…I'm good now…thanks…I don't know what came over me before. If I ever say stuff like that again feel free to beat me up as much as you like," I said. Sothe smiled for real this time and laughed.

"With pleasure," he agreed. We both laughed like we always used to together. I couldn't imagine a better feeling than having Sothe at my side again. I didn't even want to think what would have happened if Sothe hadn't set me free.

Sanaki glanced at us in puzzlement. I supposed she had no idea what happened between Sothe and I prior to her showing up. Frankly, she didn't need to know. It wasn't something I wanted others to know about.

* * *

By the time the sun was at last beginning to rise I could imagine that Sothe and Sanaki's feet were aching just as much as mine. They were probably tired too and the oncoming heat wouldn't exactly help with that matter.

Just as I had pictured, the sky turned a beautiful shade of purple and pink. The orange sphere of light poked out from behind the towering sand dunes. Not too far off in the distance I could see the ancient ruins that served as the emancipation army base where my friends awaited my return.


	30. Chapter 30 The Homecoming

**Author's Note: **I feel like it took forever to get this chapter up. The next one will be a biggie I'm thinking...so hopefully people out there are still reading my story! Anyway...enjoy! Reviews are always greatly appreciated :)

* * *

Chapter 30 The Homecoming

My heart filled with happiness at the sight of my home. It had been way too long since I last was with my laguz friends. And there they were…in my line of vision once again.

I felt like all the delirium I had acquired during our walk was replaced with revitalizing energy. The feeling swept me from head to toe and before I was even aware I had grabbed both Sanaki and Sothe by the hand and sprinted as fast as my legs would allow toward the ruins.

A hot wind blew in my face and helped to pull back my lips into a more animated smile. Subconsciously I began to laugh and giggle. Warm sand whipped the backs of my legs as my feet unintentionally lifted it up as I ran.

"Tormod! What the hell!" Sothe moaned. His complaining only made me yank on him harder and force my legs to move even faster.

"Is this where we need to be?" Sanaki asked. I didn't bother answering questions. They would understand soon enough.

My heart pumped vehemently and I could feel both Sothe and Sanaki's hands sweating in mine. I panted between each excited giggle that danced out of my perpetually smiling lips.

Now the sun had shifted so that it was shining in our faces. The slight discomfort didn't even make me flinch, my joviality overcame it all. When we were close enough for my laguz friends to pick up my scent I screamed full heartedly with all the joy that was bottled up inside.

"GUYS! I'M BACK!" I couldn't stop laughing. The chuckles spewed out of my mouth like molten hot lava. I wasn't sure where my nerves and worries had gone off to. I supposed my longing for home was what put me in this state. Although I knew we wouldn't be there for long. Soon, Muarim and I would be back…together. "HEY!" I yelled with more giggles.

"Someone's happy to be home…" Sothe commented.

"I'll say…" Sanaki agreed. I could practically hear Sothe's lips curve upward in his voice. The closer we got to the ruins the more I began to feel like myself. As the sun rose ever higher so did the temperature. Tears would have fallen from eyes had I enough moisture in my body to produce them. I didn't even care how dry my throat was becoming or how much I was craving water. Home was so close. I just had to keep running.

Sothe and Sanaki became breathless as I dragged them through the sweltering heat of the desert. But soon we were able to stop running because we had arrived at our destination.

Sothe bowed his head and hunched over to catch his breath. Sanaki struggled to slow down her racing heart as well but didn't show it nearly as much as Sothe was. Me, however, I was just smiling.

The flapping of wings echoed through my ears. I quickly turned around to find a familiar face and a not so familiar one grinning at me.

"Well if it isn't the little man! Welcome back!" came a lively voice that I had not heard for quite some time.

"Cade!" I screamed out while I made haste toward the young hawk laguz. His shaggy blonde hair tousled in the warm breeze and his deep blue eyes widened as I came crashing into his arms. He wrapped his sun kissed arms around me and pulled me into an even tighter hug. Soft brown feathers brushed my shoulders as my friend cocooned me inside of his long shimmering wings.

Cade was the first laguz Muarim and I had freed. He was also one of the youngest and freest spirited. When we freed him he informed us he had not been a slave for a very long time at all. He was new to the life of a slave but hated it just the same. I always assumed the reason his pride seemed to be utterly untouched was due to the fact that his days as a slave were brief. He carried little emotional baggage and was consistently bright and friendly but could also prove to be cheeky at times.

We held each other for a little while longer. I whimpered thankfully inside of his crushing embrace. Cade unwrapped his glistening wings from around my body and slowly began to let go. He took notice of my whimpering and rolled his eyes mockingly.

"Oh come on! None of that! You're gonna make _me_ all weepy!" he teased. I laughed amidst my tearless sobs. My eyes wandered away from Cade and settled on an unfamiliar face. Beside Cade was a female laguz. I knew she was of the raven tribe by her shining black wings. Her hair was dark with a greenish tint to it and bit messy from the whistling wind. Her green eyes glowed with the verdure of a plant and her thin lips curved into a smile.

Cade opened his arms out theatrically to introduce the stranger. "And this lovely birdie is Miss Vika. We took her in while you and Muarim were gone. She's got a pretty sharp beak on her too, so watch out!" he exclaimed. Color flushed to Vika's cheeks.

"Cade…you're embarrassing her!" I began. The hawk laguz shrugged his shoulders. "Nice to meet you, Vika! Welcome!" I extended my arm out to her and we shook hands. "I'm Tormod, leader of the Emancipation Army!" I boasted.

"Oh! But you're so…" Vika started. Cade smirked mischievously and leaned in closer to me.

"Small?" he finished with that stupid look on his face. I almost forgot Sothe was there until I heard him burst into laughter.

My face burned red with a mixture of embarrassment and rage. "Hey! Watch it!" I rebuked.

"Oh…sorry little guy…. you're just so much fun to pick on!" Cade admitted.

"Stupid bird…" I mumbled. Cade chuckled at my comment and smothered the brown feathers of his wings on my face and around my nose. The urge to sneeze became so overwhelming that I could no longer hold it in. A deafening sneeze shot out of my mouth and into my hand. "Ugh…gross…" I muttered.

"Haha! Just wanted to embarrass you in front of your little friends over here. So are you gonna introduce me or what?" he pressed. I looked to Sanaki and Sothe and gestured for them to come over. First, I introduced Sothe. I hung my arm over his shoulder and smiled fervently.

"This is my best friend, Sothe! We fought together during the war. He's so sneaky and cool! Right, Sothe?" I enunciated. Sothe rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"Um…yeah let's just go with that," he replied. I giggled cheerfully and playfully slapped Sothe on the back.

"Ha! Isn't he the greatest?" I said.

"Wow! Never thought I'd see you with a beorc friend," spoke Cade in surprise. His shock was understandable since before the war I rarely ever spoke to other beorc. Muarim always wished I had at least one beorc friend and I supposed my friendship with Sothe made him very happy.

Cade meandered his way closer to Sanaki. "And this young lady must be your girlfriend!" he assumed. Blood rushed to my cheeks and soon my entire face was a glowing red. I wished there was a way to control such irritating bodily functions. I instantly jumped all over his false assumption.

"What? No! No way…Cade she is actually the Empress of Begnion! _Okay?_"

Cade jumped back with a start and his wings flapped excitedly. His sky blue eyes bulged out of their sockets.

"You…why…how…you've got a lot of explaining to do little guy! What's going on? Start talking!" he yelled anxiously. I carefully described the whole situation from the very beginning. I started with Muarim being captured. I hated to do it but I sugarcoated my explanation just a little bit. Instead of getting into my horrific past I simply said Muarim and I stopped in Karoo to rest, unaware it was a town of slaveholders. Then, as we made our way through the streets the enraged citizens ambushed us and a slaveholder took Muarim away. As punishment for walking amongst beorc Muarim was to be executed. I wasn't sure how believable that sounded but I didn't care much. I decided that I would eventually tell all of the laguz my beginnings but not then, with such little time.

"Muarim….no….are…are you sure? We must take wing right now!" Cade rushed. I shook my head and took a little more time to briefly explain what happened next with my curse. Without an in-depth explanation it probably sounded ridiculous but unfortunately I couldn't offer him anything better. I told him how my shadow separated from my body. At first, I could tell he wasn't buying it but when I pointed to the ground he understood. Cade's shadow trailed behind him but mine was virtually absent. Lastly, I explained how I stormed through the Cathedral to seek Sanaki's help and landed in jail. As I told the remainder of the story I could tell Cade was overwhelmed by it all.

"I don't fully understand but…we'd do anything to help Muarim out! Let's stop with the chitchat and leave right now. We'll strictly bring the bird tribe laguz so we can fly there. Vika, go to tell the others we are leaving immediately. If they ask why tell them it is for our brother!" Cade barked. Vika obediently nodded her head.

"Sure thing!" she replied and then took wing to inform the rest of the army.

"What do you guys think of flying?" asked Cade. The idea of flying always excited me and I was no stranger to it. At times it was necessary for me to hitch a ride on Cade or any of the other bird tribe laguz to carry out a mission. I never weighed much or took up too much space, so for me flying was simple. Sothe and I were the same size and if anything Sanaki was smaller than the two of us. I assumed all would be well, especially considering flying would take half the time it would to walk.

"Fun!" I exclaimed.

"Well…if it's the fastest way to get to Karoo then what choice do I have?" said Sothe.

"I agree. The faster we can get there the better. Beggars can't be choosers after all," Sanaki spoke.

It was settled than that we would take flight in five minutes time. In the short preparation time we were given Sothe broke out the water and food he had stolen. The three of us indulged in everything that small bag had to offer. Inside were three small canteens of water, a few pieces of stale bread, and some dry meat. Our tummies weren't completely full but it would have to last.

The sun seemed increasingly hot as well but with a light breeze to accompany it. There was something about the breeze that didn't quite fit the description of a desert climate. Yes, the breeze had an almost moist feel to it, not that it aided the climbing temperature. But still, the small bit of moisture in the wind was fascinating.

Despite that factor the sun beat persistently on our backs. I noticed Sothe was still sucking every last drop of water out of his canteen. Sanaki fiddled with hers in her hand, not drinking any of it.

"I don't how you live here…it's like hell…maybe even a little hotter…" Sothe commented. I couldn't help but to laugh considering he was used to his frigid Daein winters that I hated so much during the war.

"Sorry it doesn't meet your standards, snowball," I replied with a widening smile.

I quickly looked to Sanaki to include her in the conversation, but her eyes were downturned and her cheeks were flushed. "What's the matter? Wishing we were going gourmet?" I asked in a joking manner. Her face grew red but not from embarrassment. She slowly picked her eyes up and met my stare. I could immediately tell something was off…her gaze seemed unfocused and lost. She opened her lips to speak but instead of words all that came out was a groan.

"Hey now! You're not getting sick on me, are you?" I questioned. She shook her head weakly as if trying to put together words was too much of an effort. She then rubbed her hand on her forehead as if she had a headache. "Sanaki? Are you feeling okay?"

Now, she was worrying me. The fact that she stopped talking and was starting to make sickly gestures only deepened my worries. Not only that but she appeared incredibly warm, much more so than the rest of us.

"She doesn't look so good…I'll bet it has to do with this heat," Sothe wagered. He used his hand as a visor to block the strong rays of light away from his eyes as he scanned the plentiful sand dunes. "Maybe some sort of reaction or something…"

I noticed Sanaki sway where she stood and struggle to keep here eyes open. Instinctively, I wrapped my around her back to steady her. "Sanaki!" I cried out.

Soon, her body fell limp into my arms and all her weight came crashing down on me. After I got over the immediate shock I grabbed a better hold of her and prevented her delicate body from sliding to the ground. Sothe rushed to my side to help me hold her up so she wouldn't fall into the blistering sand.

"Sanaki!" I yelled restlessly. Wings began to flap close to my ear as Cade flied to my side as well. He took a peek toward Sanaki and shook his head.

"Desert fever," he spoke. Desert fever? It sounded very familiar to me. Ah yes, I remembered contracting it several times as a young child. Growing up, Muarim and I never knew what to call it so we gave it it's name desert fever for the soaring body temperature it caused. We never knew exactly what caused it. It always appeared just as mysteriously as it disappeared. Memories of long sleepless nights surfaced in my mind. Perhaps I was overreacting then since I was practically an infant and extremely weak. I remembered Muarim always having to hold me because if he wasn't I would start a fuss.

The first time I came down with it Muarim was so worried that I had to travel all the way to Sienne on his back to spend our entire savings on seeing a physician. Of course, I came out undiagnosed and burning up just as terribly as before. The only way Muarim could stop my screaming and crying was by rocking me back and fourth into an uneasy slumber. His only other healing remedy was to keep me as cool as possible. After a few days the fever would vanish and I'd be back to my normal self. It was just another form of aggression the desert inflicted upon its inhabitants.

Now I understood what was wrong with Sanaki and I also began to realize how huge of a problem it would be.

"We need to get her out of the sun. I'll take her into one of the tents and try to cool her down," said Cade. He scooped her up effortlessly and glided to the nearest tent. Sothe and I followed close behind. My heartbeat sped up as I thought about what would become of Sanaki. We needed her there at the execution, at least as a figure of authority. I didn't need her to fight; I simply just needed her presence. But she would need one day at the absolute least for a full recovery. I hated the idea of jeopardizing her health since we did not have nearly enough time for her to recuperate. She would have to snap out of it, Muarim's life depended on it.

As we pushed the flaps of the tent out of our way, Cade carefully set Sanaki on a sleeping roll. Inside the tent it was slightly cooler since it shielded us from the sun. Cade then left to retrieve a pale of cold water and a cloth to rest on her forehead.

Being inside the tent instantly brought upon a pang of longing for Muarim. It was our tent. The one we always slept in. It was makeshift…and we didn't have the greatest resources to build a tent, but it was ours. It always gave off this warm sense of security…probably because even after our prolonged absence it still smelt like Muarim.

A neat stack of my clothing in the corner of the tent came to my attention. I had been in dire need of a change of clothes after crossing the desert one too many times and spending hours in a rotting jail cell. The clothes I had been wearing were stained in sweat and smudged with dirt. They were disgusting, to put it nicely.

Before I stripped my shirt off, I made sure Sanaki was still unconscious. Her eyes were still shut and she showed no other signs of rousing. Knowing she was probably in a whole other world, I hastily unbuckled my hooded cape from around my neck and peeled off my rotting shirt.

"I'm going to have to burn that," I said to Sothe.

"Not right now you're not!" he replied. We both broke out into laughter. "Just what we need…for you to burn down _another _tent," he added.

"That wasn't all my fault! I had to bring some justice to that awful impression you did of me!"

"Yeah…yeah…put a shirt on before Sanaki wakes up. Unless you're trying to show off for her and if that's the case then by all means go right ahead!" he teased.

My face became rosy as I chuckled. The blood tingled underneath my skin. "Well it's too bad I'm not a muscle head!"

Our laughter resonated so loudly to the point where I thought we could possibly awake Sanaki. Without any further hesitation I slid on one of my fresh and thin white shirts. Then I threw on a loose green one that was opened on the sides. I quickly fastened a white band of fabric around my waste to secure everything together.

"Voila! Now it's time to burn the evidence," I said as I pinched my dirty shirt between my thumb and index finger. I lit a small flame in my hand, with no intention of actually burning the shirt.

"Not this time!" snapped Sothe as he pulled the shirt away from my grasp. "You can do that outside where there's nothing but sand, sand, sand, and oh yeah MORE sand!"

I closed my fingers in around my palm, extinguishing the tiny flame. "Sheesh Sothe, you're the sand king! Just try to contain your excitement…I know it's hard…"

"I don't know how you stand it. It's too hot, too dry, too-"

"Sandy?"

"Yes."

I laughed heartily. It really was great to have Sothe back. For a second he almost had me forgetting that we had a pretty big problem on our hands. We needed Sanaki to wake up soon. Hopefully Cade or someone would come back with the water quickly.

For the time I once again took advantage of the fact that Sanaki was still unconscious. My dark brown shorts were just as dilapidated as my shirt. They began to rip on the seam and even though they were dark I could tell something was staining them although the color didn't show up. The stained part was still a little bit sticky. Suddenly I came to the horrifying realization of what it was. It was blood. Not my own, but Muarim's.

Sothe toyed with my dirty shirt in his hand and studied it meticulously. "Hey Tormod, there's blood all over this shirt. It's kind of gross. Maybe you really should burn it," he suggested. Okay, the shirt could have had my own blood on it from when we fought each other. But when I looked to wear Sothe was pointing I knew it wasn't my blood. It wasn't fresh and it was beginning to fade, like it had been there for a while.

Images of Muarim being beaten in the middle of the mob flashed in front of my eyes. I might have started to shake because without me even noticing Sothe was sitting in front of me.

"Muarim…" I whispered painfully. All I could think was, _I HAVE to get rid of these clothes._

"This isn't your blood…is it?" Sothe guessed. I shook my head, avoiding eye contact. "It's okay…none of us are going to let him die today, all right? You don't need to worry anymore."

I pulled Sothe into a hug. This time he didn't squirm or fight it. I rested my head on the top of his shoulder and let out a deep breath. "Thanks, Sothe." Within all of the terrible things that had occurred these past few days, I was actually quite lucky. I had the Apostle herself aiding me, my laguz friends, and most of all I had Sothe. I hated to think about what I would have done to myself if Sothe hadn't found me when he did. I owed him everything.

As I let go of him I scooped up the fresh shorts I would change into. "Okay…I have to make this one quick…" I hastily unbuttoned and unzipped the shorts. While I began to pull them down I got the shock of my life. The flaps of the tent burst open and a hawk laguz entered with a wooden bowl of water and a small white cloth. He had shaggy brown hair and matching brown eyes with a set of shimmering wings that barely fit inside the tent. I recognized him as Nero, the second laguz we had freed.

Upon entering he stopped in his tracks. From his perspective it must have looked bad with Sanaki unconscious on my sleeping roll and me sliding my shorts down. _Just my luck…_

My cheeks felt like they were bursting into flames. We stared at each other blankly for a few seconds until Nero finally built up the courage to open his mouth. "Uh…hey there…I'm just gonna…leave this stuff right here…sorry to uh…disturb you." As soon as he finished speaking he scurried out of the tent, feeling like he had stumbled upon something that wasn't for his eyes to see. As he left I could have sworn I heard him mumble something like "Isn't he a little young?"

For a moment it was very quiet inside the tent but it didn't take long for Sothe to explode with laughter. I slid my hand over my face in embarrassment. What was Nero thinking? I wasn't sure I wanted to know. Before I let myself get completely consumed in embarrassment I rapidly switched shorts as fast as I possibly could.

I sighed in frustration. "That was…awkward…" I mumbled.

"I was kind of waiting for something like that to happen. It was only a matter of time," said Sothe. "You're face…priceless!"

"Sothe?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."

After I got over the awkward encounter I hurriedly went over to the bowl of water and dipped the white cloth in it. I ringed it free of any excess water and brought it over to Sanaki's forehead. I delicately pressed down on it and began to move it to her cheeks that were burning up as well. Then I brought the cloth back to her forehead and let it rest there. I prayed that my efforts were working.  
It wasn't long before her eyelashes fluttered and a pair of warm golden eyes were staring back at me. "Welcome back!" I said with relief flooding my voice. She casually sat up and looked around at her surroundings. As she sat up the cloth slid down her face and into her lap. She picked it up and studied it for a moment.

"I've wasted time…" she fretted. In truth she wasn't unconscious for terribly long.

"Don't worry about it! We're flying remember? So how are you feeling? Any better?" I asked in concern. Her eyes met mine and she quickly dropped them guiltily. Her face was still considerably flushed.

"I'm sorry…" she began. "I feel weak…and so…tired…sorry I blacked out…"

It was exactly as I had feared. Of course she was feeling weak. Whenever I had come down with desert fever I was ill for days. I knew she was feeling incredibly sick. I explained to her that she had contracted desert fever and that I had also fallen victim to it a few times myself.

"It's okay…I don't need you over exerting yourself so I'll send maybe Nero or one of the bird laguz to take you home."

She eagerly shook her head in rejection. I had a feeling she would some how talk me into letting her come along. But dragging a sick Empress through the desert didn't seem like a great plan.

"No, that is not an option. I promised I would help you, did I not?" she asked.

"But you're too-"

She put her index finger to my lips to silence me. Upon her contact my stomach fluttered with a tickling sensation. Her lustrous golden eyes were more than enough to shut me up.

"I'm tired of other people doing everything for me. I'm joining your merry band whether you like it or not. I may not feel very strong right now…but going home…what would that accomplish? That I'm too weak to even cross a small part of the desert? That when things get a little tough I should just call it a day? It's pathetic, really. I'll shake off anything this fever throws at me. I promise not to be your burden," she spoke.

I knew there was no convincing her otherwise. She had her heart set on joining us but it only made me worry. If I were to let her come I would have to protect her. Even if she was skilled with magic it would take strength to cast a spell and I didn't feel much strength radiating from her. There was no way I could let the Empress of Begnion die under my watch. She would be one more person to protect along with Sothe and Muarim. Who knew what kind of state Muarim would be in when I arrived? And Sothe…I didn't want him risking his life to begin with. But in all honesty I needed her badly. Her and Sothe.

Despite all my worries for some reason I found myself laughing. "You're pretty crazy…but in a good way. Desert fever is debilitating and yet here you are willing to jump into battle," I responded.

"Does that bother you?" she asked politely. Did it bother me? Having to keep a close eye on her would be restricting…but was that so bad? The idea of keeping her out of harms way didn't feel very much like a bother at all. It was less like an obligation and more like a want.

"No…not at all. I like crazy. Crazy is good."

Sanaki's giggle was light and airy. I noticed Sothe's laughter ring in with hers.

"And you finally admit it," Sothe concluded. I couldn't hold back from laughing. It was Sothe's greatest theory that I was insane, ever since we first met he swore by it. Normally, something like that would insult me but hearing it come from Sothe only made me laugh. After everything we had been through, he probably had every right to call me crazy.

"Well…what are we sitting around for? We should leave right now if we are to make it," Sanaki said.

Anxiety shook my limbs at the reminder of our little amount of time. But in a way it also excited me…because I knew I was getting closer and closer to seeing Muarim again. Each passing second was another second closer for everything to return to normal.

"I guess this it guys…but before we go I just wanted to say thanks…for helping me and keeping me on the right path," I paused and looked to Sothe. "I'd love to say more but I just want all of this to end as soon as possible. Let's get out of here, shall we?"


	31. Chapter 31 Retaliation

Chapter 30 Retaliation

Sothe had left and the others were carrying through some last minute preparations before we departed. As everyone prepared to leave I remained inside with Sanaki just for a little while longer. She struggled to mask her discomfort and it was becoming incredibly worrisome. Her complexion continued to grow colorless and each breath she took was shallower than the last.

I searched my thoughts for anything I could do to help her. After all, Rhys had mentored me for months. There had to be a way to relieve her symptoms even if it would only be temporary. Was there something he taught me? Perhaps an incantation I could perform without the help of a staff? _Think…think…_

Like an answer to my prayers a pleasant memory slid into my mind giving me that delightful feeling when all you can think to say is, "Aha!"

Sanaki flashed her now dim eyes that were burning up with a fever to me. There was in fact a remedy that would help her greatly. But what did Rhys say about it…

_ "I have something a little bit different to teach you today…are you ready?" asked the healer clad in long white robes. _

_ "Different? Sounds exciting! Teach me, teach me!" I replied, being swept away with curiosity. Rhys chuckled lightly as he reached for his mend staff. _

_ "This particular spell can do something quite amazing. Tormod, do you know what adrenaline is?" he asked. I gave him a wide grin and nodded my head with enthusiasm. _

_ "Of course! It's when you get super hyper, right? Like…that feeling you get after you do something totally dangerous!" _

_ He fiddled with his staff and then readied it in his hand. "Right! The body produces it to allow better coping with dangerous and unexpected situations. It'll give you that extra bit of energy for short bursts of time. Fight or flight as they say…"_

_ "Right! So what about it?" _

_ He then scribbled a quick note on a scrap piece of paper. As he finished he placed the note in my hand. "This spell will give its recipient an unbelievable boost of adrenaline. So much so that whatever pain they are feeling will vanish! It's a great quick fix during a battle."_

_ I clutched the note tightly as if it were a fortune and quickly skimmed over the words. I tucked it inside my boot for safekeeping. "Amazing! I never even knew healers could do that! Wow! If you can make pain disappear just like that then why don't you always use it? It'd save a lot of trouble!" _

_ As I spoke, Rhys did not share my enthusiasm. In fact, he breathed a disheartening sigh that made me feel like maybe it really was too good to be true. "Tormod…unfortunately such a spell has its cost. The pain does not disappear forever. How long it lasts depends on what type of staff is used. A mend staff will let the effects stay for up to an entire day. A heal staff will keep you pain free for half a day and not using a staff at all will only insure a few hours of comfort. But it is important to remember that pain isn't always a terrible thing. It's the body's way of saying something is wrong."_

_ "Well…it's still a pretty good deal! And I still don't understand why you never use it! You always have your mend staff on you…it's not like battles last more than a few hours anyway," I objected. Rhys shook his head as I spoke. Could there be another catch to such a convenient spell?_

_ "Ah, if it were that simple I would certainly exercise it more! But that isn't the case…you see…once the spell wears off it will only double the pain or illness and in rare cases it could even take years away from the healer's life. Of course such a heavy risk would only be an effect from a fatal wound. So…it's best to only use this spell in fight or flight situations. If the injury is grave…I highly suggest staying away from adrenaline seeing as it will only cause more harm than good. Not only to the one you are healing, but you as well."_

_ I carefully took in everything he said. Only one question was left lingering in my mind. "But what if…what if it was a life or death situation and a normal healing spell wouldn't do the trick? Could you use adrenaline…to give the person more time?"_

_ "Now that would depend on you, Tormod. How do you measure quality of life? Ask yourself that. You're correct that in a sense that adrenaline would give them more time but at the price of only doubling the previous pain. Would you rather live a few extra hours with the anticipation of grueling pain? Or would you rather die then and not put off the inevitable? That is a situation I hope you are never put in!" _

Adrenaline. Of course! How did I not think of it sooner? Sanaki's situation was actually favorable. I couldn't imagine the fighting lasting longer than a few hours. Since I was without a staff, a few hours would be all I could give her. But it would be enough. I rushed through an explanation of the spell I would perform on her. Out of obligation, I mentioned the off-putting side effects. I went through them rather fast and quietly because I absolutely needed her to agree to my proposition. She wasn't fatally injured so the effects wouldn't be dire as they were in some rare cases. Her situation was not life or death….but it certainly was fight or flight. I could almost feel Rhys's gentle hand nudge me on the back as if encouraging me to mutter the spell.

"I suppose I don't have time to be picky…I pray you know what you're doing," she spoke. I waved my hand up in objection.

"Oh, please! I'm a trained professional!" I exaggerated. She rolled her golden eyes in an I-don't-believe-you-for-a-second way. "Okay maybe not a professional…but I had a pretty good teacher! What? Don't give me that look!"

"What look?" she asked. A pretty smile drew her lips upward. Even in sickness she was still…

"Sanaki! You're wasting time with your questions," I spoke in more of a humorous than a scolding way. I didn't have any reason to believe that the paper Rhys had given me was no longer in my boot. So, I fished around inside it until I felt the sensation of crumpled paper against my skin.

"Oh, _I'm _wasting time?" she challenged.

I pulled the wrinkled sheet of paper out into the light so I could see what was written on it. The spell didn't seem difficult to perform, but only one question remained in my thoughts.

"Yes, you are! Just give me a second to think about something…" I replied. How would I go about using the spell? Normally if I were healing a wound I would hold my glowing hand up to the wound itself. But this time there was no wound. As I pondered I toyed with the paper in my hands. Sanaki's eyes dropped to the small slip of paper.

"Is that what I'm supposed to put my faith in?" she asked uneasily.

"Yup. Is that okay?"

She sighed restlessly with uncertainty clearly shown on her face. She didn't respond and instead kept her gaze fixed on the ground.

"Your confidence in me is astounding," I teased. While I continued to search for a way to administer the spell properly something else occurred to me. Thinking…yes, even thinking was wasting valuable time that meant life or a certain death for Muarim. _No more thinking…no more thinking…just need to do something…._

So I did the first thing that popped into my mind. For a moment I closed my eyes and pictured the energy radiating from my hand with its beautiful iridescent light. I murmured the words of the ancient language and soon I could feel my hands fizzing with warmth. When I opened my eyes I grabbed Sanaki's hands and pulled them closer to me. I watched attentively as the glowing green light traveled from my fingertips all the way up to her arm.

The green luminous light cascaded up both of her arms and stopped once it reached her shoulder blades. Was it enough? Something told me it was not.

"Did it stop working?" she asked. "It felt promising for a second there…"

I shook my head impatiently, trying my hardest not to break my concentration. I probably should have felt awkward or strange as I brought my hands up to her face where the green light became engulfed by her burning skin. My mind was so fixed on the actual spell that I didn't even take the time to notice the smoothness of her skin or the racing of my heart. I kept one shimmering hand on her scorching forehead and the other on her cheek. I wasn't looking directly at her, because I knew if I did my concentration would be lost from me forever. But despite that, I could still feel her stare fixed on my face.

"Nothing weird," I assured her. Having a staff would have decreased the awkwardness…but somehow I wasn't longing for one. What I was doing was working, I could tell by the color that flooded back to her cheeks.

"Nothing weird," she repeated. Eventually, the green light that enveloped my hands faded. Any magic left lingering on my hands became consumed by what was left of her fever.

"Feels like I was never sick in the first place," she breathed. I grinned at what I took as a compliment, with my hand still resting on her cheek.

"Pretty nifty, huh?"

"Well…it was more than what I expected for sure."

"Glad I could be of service."

We both knew in a few hours the fever would only burn stronger. I wasn't sure what I would do when the hours were up. Hopefully Muarim would be safe by then and we could all fly to Sienne together.

Abruptly, I heard a tent flap burst open and I quickly turned to see Sothe poking his head in. "We're leaving any second. Cade said to be ready," he said. His eyes moved to where my hand was still resting on Sanaki's cheek. I pulled it away, nearly forgetting that it was still there. My face tingled where the blood came rushing through. "Um, fill me in later," he added. He just had to say something, didn't he?

Sanaki's lips moved faster than mine. "Alright, let's get going then. Don't want to waste anymore time, now do we?" She looked directly toward me and grinned cutely.

"You're the time waster! I've been ready to crash this party much longer than the both of you," I said. I picked myself up off the floor and offered Sanaki a hand. She took one look at it and scoffed.

"You can keep your hands to yourself," she declared.

"Whatever you say, Empress," I replied with a flash of my tongue. She made her way out of the tent; just before she exited she glanced at me for a short moment. Then without any further hesitation she pushed the flaps of the tent away from her and carried on elsewhere.

"Well she looks…better," said Sothe. I felt guilty knowing I could only give her a few symptom free hours before they came back stronger than ever. But what more could I have done? I filled Sothe in on the situation, leaving out any details that would spark questions to come flying from his mouth. When I was finished with my brief explanation there was silence between us. I wasn't sure what brought it on, but it was lingering.

"We should get going. Everyone is probably waiting for us," I spoke. I wasn't sure if my eyes were deceiving me but Sothe had a troubled look about him. It was almost as if he was unsure of something. "All ready?" I asked.

"Yeah, are you?"

"I don't need anything but myself!"

He was oddly silent again until he murmured, "Everything is going to be okay…". I wasn't entirely sure if he intended for me to hear him since he spoke so softly, but again there was a pained expression on his face that just seemed out of place.

"Well of course it's going to be okay! I'm here after all!" I had high hopes with Sothe, Sanaki, and my laguz friends at my side. How could we lose? It seemed almost impossible. Time was our biggest threat but the ravens and hawks would surely win that fight.

"Yeah…" he started. I looked to him in concern wondering what was going through his mind. "Just promise you'll…promise…promise me you won't go crazy or anything." Normally when he would say something like that he would laugh immediately after, but this time his attitude called for no laughter.

"Why would I go crazy?" I questioned. "According to you I'm already crazy!"

Strangely enough, he didn't laugh or even muster a smile. He was hiding something, that much I was certain of. "Sothe…is something wrong?" His stare shot through mine giving me a bizarre vibe. I could practically taste what he was feeling…and it was undoubtedly sympathy. Why would he feel bad for me? Why did I get the feeling he wanted desperately to tell me something?

"It's…nothing. Just…nothing," he managed. From beyond the flaps of the tent I could hear Cade and a few other voices calling for me. Instead of responding to them I kept my focus on Sothe.

"Sure doesn't sound like nothing! C'mon Sothe, you can tell me anything. If you don't want to come with us I totally understand. I have a bad feeling about this…but I know we'll win." For a short second Sothe's eyes looked wild. There was something about the way he looked at me that was…off.

"No, I want to come. I need to be there…because…I think…I…I know what-"

"TINY! What in Tellius are you waiting around for? LET'S GO! Cade's orders!" shouted Nero, the hawk laguz that interrupted me earlier.

"You know I really hate it when you call me that! But alright, we're coming...just give me two seconds."

"We don't have two seconds! Tiny, you're nothing but trouble…move it, now!" He yelled. Before I could object any further he grabbed me by the hood and yanked me by force out of the tent. Sothe followed us, not saying a word. I squirmed and kicked but Nero was much stronger than me. What could Sothe have meant? What did he know? And why was he so gloomy? I had a terrible feeling that I wouldn't find out any time soon.

Outside, Cade and Sanaki assembled two rows of bird tribe laguz, still not shifted. About half of them were ravens and the other half were hawks. Among the ravens was Vika. Altogether there were about thirteen of us. Nero finally let go of my hood and took his place in line with the other hawks. I stood beside Cade and Sanaki to evaluate the small battalion that had been assembled. I recognized all of their faces. Each laguz smiled at me, showing relief that at least one of us had returned from the war. Some spoke kind words; others simply nodded their heads approvingly.

"It's good to see you in one piece, boss!"

"So the little guy made it after all!"

I wasn't entirely sure what to say to them. A few appeared distressed and the rest seemed unfazed and ready for battle. I cleared my throat and forced myself to speak. "Hey, guys…you all probably know what's going on. Muarim is scheduled to be executed today," I started. Several faces looked down and some grew more tenacious. Sothe was among those who were averting their gazes. "Well…I want to let you all know that I have other plans. I don't know what this battle is going to be like. But I do know that if they want to take Muarim down…then they've got another thing coming!" I roared. A few voices in my audience cheered and whistled. "Before I left Karoo and started for Sienne, I promised Muarim that I would save him…that I would see him again. And I intend to do just that! Life would be awful without Muarim…and I never want to know what that feels like." The cheering ceased and my friends became silent. "So that's why…that's why I'm asking you all to fight until your bodies go numb! Understood?"

The air boomed with cheers and determined shouts. "I'm not asking any of you to fight for me…I'm asking you to fight for Muarim!" I yelled within the explosion of applause.

"For Muarim!" I heard someone shout.

"We won't let you down, brother!"

"By the end of this day…we will all be together again," Cade announced. I believed in his words with everything I had. Muarim would be home. He would be safe. _Yes, that is what I believe…_

It was at last time to leave and my heart made that very clear. It drummed against my chest with astounding ferocity. I could no longer feel the blazing rays of the sun on my face. All I could feel was hope burning like a fire inside me. As I scanned my eyes over Sanaki, my laguz friends, and Sothe the little seedling of hope burst into a fully bloomed flower.

"WE'RE COMING MUARIM!" I cried full-heartedly as we began our departure into Karoo.

* * *

Cade's sharp talons loosened from their tight hold on my shoulders. Slowly his clutch on me became weaker and weaker. My eyes moved to the ground that seemed to be moving beneath us. It was a pleasant change of scenery to see pavement rather than mounds of sand. We were close enough to the ground that the tips of my toes almost skimmed the surface.

My heart jolted as Cade let out a piercing shriek that caused my ears to ring. Soon after, ten other shrieks joined his. I assumed he was sending out a signal to everyone else. The earsplitting cries were more than loud enough for the entire town to hear. I knew what Cade had in mind. He wanted to cause a scene and produce as much chaos as possible. He wanted to let everyone know that we had arrived.

I tilted my head up to the sky to see white puffy clouds rolling in. A few of them appeared to be a shade of gray like they were welling up with water. _How strange…_

On my sides I could see Sothe flying with Nero and Sanaki flying with Vika. Straight ahead had to have been the center of town. The ground was well paved and buildings sprouted up like mushrooms, each with similar beige bricks and tiled rooftops. The immense crowd inside the square was perhaps the most difficult to miss. They yelled and shouted profanities savagely. Some threw their fists in the air, as if egging someone on. There had to have been more than one hundred people, packed together tightly. They created a circle and gathered around something. _Muarim!_ It had to be him…

Cade let out another shrill screech and gripped my cape tighter with his talons. He flapped his wings with more energy and sent us higher into the sky. The other laguz did the same. I knew Cade was trying to go around the crowd so I wouldn't have to shove my way through. Once we were hovering over the opening in the mob Cade let out one last deafening shriek. The surrounding hawks and ravens echoed his calling. By then, I was sure my ears were oozing with blood. I made a mental note to yell at Cade for that later.

When their fierce cries came to a halt, I was then able to hear the devastating cracking of a whip. The mob of crazed people started to notice the additional noise and turned their heads toward the sky. Some turned tail and ran immediately upon seeing the hawks and ravens gliding overhead. Others remained, until we began our descent into the heart of the crowd. A few armed men mounted on horses looked up and noticed the disturbance.

Cade let go of his grip on me. I was only free falling for a few short moments until my feet hit the pavement forcefully. I fell into a squat and let the tips of my fingers touch the ground for support. I heard two more sets of feet hit the pavement as well. I knew it was Sothe and Sanaki. A fearful gasp escaped my lips as I beheld a wooden frame with a noose dangling from above. The gallows were empty, however. Everyone's attention was focused on what was behind the gallows.

"38…39…40! Well done! You may stop," came a venomous voice that I recognized as my mother's. I ran through the wooden frame and followed the voices and the cracking whip. "Hey! I said you can stop! I want to keep him alive for the hanging!" She yelled.

"You've miscounted! If I had whipped him 40 times he would be unconscious by now! I've only just gotten started! Please allow me to continue," the man with the whip pleaded. That voice…I knew that voice.

I was not ready for what I was about to see. It was too much like the first time…

By the time I could take everything in Muarim had fallen to his knees. His hands were cuffed behind him in large rusty chains. I wanted to look away but my eyes couldn't even close. Several deep gashes were ingrained into Muarim's bare back. Blood fell from the open wounds like a waterfall. The warm vivid red liquid flooded the floor like a torrential downpour. The sight made me dizzy and sick, but for everyone's sake I held back my nausea. A man clad in gray armor that was equipped with the whip sent a terrifying glare toward Muarim who struggled to hang on to consciousness. The man had long gray hair and an aged face with powdery blue eyes. He took his boot and sent it flying for Muarim's gut. Muarim released a terrifying cry of pain and fell to his back where his wounds were wide open.

"Hey what don't you understand about me wanting to keep him alive for the hanging? It's what everyone came here to see!" My mother argued.

The heavyset man with the whip chuckled. "Oh, my love, they came here to see a show! And a show they shall see!" he countered.

The armored man took a few steps closer to Muarim, who was cringing in agony on the floor. The man with the whip lifted his foot up again and brought it down forcefully against Muarim's face. I wasn't sure how he was still conscious, but he was.

"Did you just ignore me? This is not how this works!" she screamed. Ignoring her words, the armored man lashed his whip once more, this time it slashed across Muarim's face vertically. I wasn't sure why my body couldn't move or why I couldn't stop watching. Muarim contorted his face in torment as fresh blood seeped from the new wound. "You good-for-nothing scum! I said stop right now! You're useless…absolutely useless! Didn't anyone ever teach you to follow orders!" she yelled frantically.

The crowd cheered thunderously upon seeing Muarim lashed across the face. The hawks and ravens still flew overhead, awaiting my word to attack. They still seemed to be undetected by my mother and the man with the whip.

"See? This is what the people want!" the armored man argued.

"But it's not what _I _want! Give me that!" She snatched the bloodied whip from his clutch. Completely enraged, the man took back the whip and pushed her mercilessly to the ground. The mob roared with contentment.

The overload of disturbing images sent my mind into a crazed state. My arms burst into flames without me even realizing it. I couldn't control my own body as I lurched forward and tackled the man with the whip. I instantly brought him down as my body barreled into his with great force. I smothered my flaming hands over his face and then brought them down to his neck where I not only singed his flesh but also cut off any oxygen from reaching his lungs. The man fought under my hold, but my wild state of mind gave him no opportunity to escape. Eventually, scorching him wasn't enough to satisfy my headstrong bloodlust. While I had him pinned to the floor I sent fiery fists spiraling to his face one after the other. I forced myself to stop once I was positive there was no breath left in his ungrateful body.

"I've…always…. hated…you…" I said while trying urgently to catch my breath. "You…and you're stupid whip…aren't going to hurt anyone anymore…" I picked up his whip that was slippery to the touch from the blood that stained it. His fingers still weakly held on to it. I slid it away from his grasp and squeezed it madly with my flaming hand. Before long, the horrific weapon was reduced into nothing more than a pile of ash. "I'll never accept you…as a father. Muarim is my father! And I'm so happy that…your blood doesn't run through my veins." He probably couldn't hear me. He could have been dead. But I needed to speak. "You hurt Muarim…so many times…I hated you then and I still hate you now! You took away his pride. You took away all of their pride! Death isn't enough to punish you."

He was dead. I was sure of it. My breathing quickened at the sight of his scorched and limp body. His death signified and end to his cruelty. Growing up, I thought of him as a monster. I feared him and hid from him whenever I could. His name was Warren. He was the one who inflicted the punishments on all of the laguz slaves. I never saw him go anywhere without his whip. He married my mother after I was born but I had always known that he was not my real father. _And today he is dead…_

"Good! That saves me some time!" my mother spoke out. Why did she not care? Her husband had fallen before her own eyes. Something wasn't right about her...at all. Not only did she fail to show sympathy but also she didn't show a hint of anger toward me either. _Can this really be the same woman who took Muarim away from me?_

After pouncing on Warren the armed men mounted on horses came charging toward us. Heaps of heavily armed fighters appeared from the core of the crowd with their weapons raised high. The blue flames that consumed my arms gradually began to wither.

The civilians that had been spectating screamed in horror and took a few unsteady steps away from the fighting. I didn't need to give Cade and the rest a signal. They could see everything from above. They swooped down from the clouds and engaged in gory combat.

"What were you thinking? Why would you draw blood with such haste? Look what you've done!" Sanaki yelled. "The people won't even notice I'm here!"

"Then make them notice you!" I shouted back. I couldn't allow myself to engage in combat, not until I knew Muarim was okay. It felt like a dream that he was in my presence again. I sprinted to his side and lifted him with all my might into a sitting position so his wounds wouldn't scrape up against the pavement. "Muarim! Muarim!" He shot his eyes opened and looked to me in shock.

"Little…one?" he spoke with astonishment. I could tell he was having difficulty focusing by the way his eyelids would fall down and shoot back open.

"Muarim, hold on! I'm going to heal you…I can't really do a lot without a staff but I'll do everything I can!" Before I began healing my eyes were drawn to wear his hands were chained behind him. The chains reeked of poison used exclusively on laguz slaying weapons. "Sothe!" I shouted.

He hurried to my side with a sorrowful aura following him.

"Sothe! I need you to get these chains off of Muarim. They're poisoned."

"Sure thing."

As Sothe desperately picked at the lock I chanted a few silent words of healing. The green light that glowed from my hand spread to the wounds embedded in Muarim's face and back. The weak spell couldn't do much but it as able to stop the bleeding. I chanted the spell again but more ferociously so I could seal the wounds. My body shook as I did so and the spell began to feed off of my own energy that I willingly gave away. I resisted the urge to pass out as I finished up the spell. All that was left of the injuries were several bumpy scars that I could do nothing about.

Soon I was greeted with a clicking sound that meant Sothe had unlocked the poisoned chains. The chains seemed to have almost burned through Muarim's skin. His wrists were red and pink where the chains had rested. I wanted to do something about it but I felt so rid of energy. Instead, I threw my arms around him affectionately and whimpered into his chest.

"Muarim! I'll never let you die!" I yelled.

Muarim looked around at the raven and hawk laguz engaging in battle. He finally took notice to Sothe who had unlocked his chains. "Little one…how did you…"

"I said I was coming to save you, didn't I?"

* * *

**A/N: **Not everything is supposed to make sense just yet. The next few chapters will tie everything together. A little confusion is to be expected...unless you're really intuitive! Thanks for reading :)


	32. Chapter 32 Indefinite Defeat

Chapter 32 Indefinite Defeat

Chaos spread aggressively through the center of town. It was really only a matter of time before a javelin would be sent flying my way or something along those lines. Cawing of birds and cries of bystanders nearly made the earth shake. I was to blame for most of the turmoil, Sanaki was right about that. I lost it for a split second and took someone's life away, officially declaring war. Not that I felt any regret, but I knew then that I was much more powerful than I had thought.

I ordered Sothe to defend Sanaki's back. I no longer knew how to make her presence known but perhaps if the people saw her fighting…maybe they would cease. Sothe still hadn't quit with his sympathetic glances. At the moment, I cared not about his strange behavior toward me. I needed a moment, just a moment, to take in Muarim's scent and company because he was alive. He was _alive_ and that was everything to me. He was bruised, scarred, and beaten, but he was alive. I pressed my forehead against his and cried happily. The warmth of his skin made me smile radiantly.

"Little one…you should not have done this!" he reprimanded. But I could tell he was happy, despite his objection to his rescue.

"I'm here now and there's nothing you can do about it! I guess you're stuck with me," I replied. He laughed lightly and I squeezed him harder.

"Hm, I guess so." I couldn't stop myself from hugging him as tightly as my arms would allow. Eventually he let out a grunt of discomfort. "Not so hard, little one."

I instantly loosened my embrace. He was probably still in pain from the whipping…the healing spell I had performed was a very weak one. But, it practically left me with no energy at all. The thought of using magic seemed excruciatingly exhausting.

"Muarim…I'm so happy you're okay. I'm sorry…I'm sorry I couldn't stop them from taking you…no one is ever going to separate us again," I vowed.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm the one who should apologize…I pushed you away." He stroked my cheek adoringly with his eyes full of love. "I'm so sorry…your mother can offer you so much more than I can. I hated that I took that away from you…but now I'm finding that I don't care so much anymore. All that I want is my little one…"

"I'm right here," I whispered. _This is how it should always be_, I thought to myself. "I don't care about money or luxuries or anything like that. You know I don't…"

Muarim grinned and closed his eyes pleasantly. He sighed and rubbed my back soothingly. "I've missed you, little one…. you're unharmed…that is good…very good." I didn't need to tell him about the horrors I felt when he was gone. He didn't need to know. None if mattered anymore because he was with me again.

I lifted my head up for a moment to see my mother stir uncomfortably on the floor where she had fallen. Muarim noticed her as well and visibly showed his unease.

"Can you fight?" I asked anxiously. He squeezed his golden eyes shut and attempted to shift into his beast form. His face twisted and his brows pulled together furiously.

"I…I can't change forms. There's still much poison in me. I'll protect you the best I can," he said. My weariness must have been obvious. As we both stood Muarim helped to steady me before I stumbled.

"I'm okay…" I informed, although I knew he would never believe me.

My mother scooped herself up off the floor and gently dusted off her dress. Muarim held my hand as we approached her together. My heart pounded madly. While my nerves haunted me, Muarim chased them away by giving my hand a tight secure squeeze.

I was the first to speak. "I want you to stop. Call this off right now and no one else needs to die," I announced.

"Finally! Yes, yes let's call it off. ATTENTION!" She cleared her throat and shouted for her men to cease-fire.

"You don't…have any objections?" I asked in disbelief as she continued to shout at her men.

"Hm? None! You may leave…" I looked at her in peculiarity. She noticed my doubt and hurried to find different words. "Er…I mean…burn in hell!" she snapped.

I knew there was something that was completely amiss about her. The way she spoke…the gestures she made…they almost reminded me of someone completely different. Suddenly it dawned upon me. It wasn't her. It was Devlin. It absolutely had to be. My mother would never act in such a way. It all made sense.

"Devlin?" I asked with uncertainty.

"Yes? Uh! I mean…who's Devlin? How dare you! I'm a woman!" he replied. _Yup, definitely Devlin. _

I grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him closer to me. "Devlin, what the hell is going on? I thought you were supposed to be in Sienne covering for the apostle?" I murmured through gritted teeth.

"I didn't think you'd make it in time…so I had to stall as much as I could, brother! For Muarim's sake!" he whispered.

"You left without a word?" I asked with anxiety shining through my voice.

"It's better that way, believe me!"

Was it really better? The Holy Guard would be on our tail for sure with the apostle missing. They would think us kidnappers, just as Sothe had feared. Apprehension churned in the pit of my stomach. "I don't like this," I confided.

"Little one, what is going on? If this is not who I think it is…then who is it?" Muarim asked in evident confusion. How could I possibly explain everything to him in the middle of a fight? The curse I had struggled so long to keep from him…how could I confess to it?

"Muarim…I literally cannot explain anything right now, but I need you to go with me on this. This is someone we can trust, okay?"

"Okay…for you I will try," he responded. I wasn't sure what could have been racing through his mind. I especially had no clue why he would agree to my request so promptly. Maybe his mind was still foggy from the poison. He couldn't possibly understand the reality of the situation. Then, I gasped aloud as I glanced at my wrist that was now exposed. But to my surprise, the crest was virtually gone. A part of me was relieved, so Muarim wouldn't have to see it. But, I couldn't help but to think it boded ill for Devlin.

He noticed my agitation as I looked at my wrist. I peered up at him to see his ruse slowly fading. The undeniable shocking red pigment of his natural eyes began to show through. His hair began to turn black at the roots. Soon, his size diminished as well until he was level with me. A foreboding cloud of black smoke orbited his entire frame. Once the smoke had dissolved Devlin stood before me in his true form. His skin was sickly pale and bags formed under his eyes. Muarim stared in outright shock.

Devlin formed a weak smile and subsequently collapsed forward. I caught him before he hit the ground. He struggled for breath like he had been running for miles. "Devlin!" I yelled frantically.

"Sorry…bout that…just so…tired…" he muttered.

"You overdid it! You said yourself that taking other shapes hurt you. So why? Why would you do that?" I shouted at him.

Suddenly a rumble of thunder shook the ground where we all stood. The sky became swamped with dark swollen clouds. A storm was coming. And it was moving at an incredible rate. Storms were seldom seen in the desert, but that did not mean they were nonexistent. A gusting wind picked up, blowing the menacing storm clouds closer to the soul of the mayhem.

Devlin became too heavy for me to support alone as he leaned all of his weight against me. I carefully set him on the floor and kneeled down with him. His eyes became more and more distant like he was fading away.

"Little one…who is this? He looks very much…like you," Muarim said in puzzlement. "Do you know him well?"

"Yeah…you could say that," I answered. Again I didn't want to give the in-depth explanation that he was itching to hear. "You just need to trust me, Muarim. Okay?"

He apprehensively nodded his head. If I were in his position I would be annoyed too, but I just couldn't explain what I had been hiding from him for so long. _What he doesn't know can't hurt him. _

I could tell he wanted to explode with questions. What would he say if he knew of all the madness? There was no way for me to tell, considering the eccentricity of the predicament.

Devlin was noticeably slipping into oblivion. I shook him intensely by the shoulders to keep his attention on me. "Devlin! Why? I don't understand…we _did_ make it on time! I really did! You didn't need to do this!" I tried again. He painfully held my gaze for a second, his striking red eyes appearing duller by the minute.

"She never…intended to….give you a chance…to stop the…execution," he muttered.

"What? What! What does that mean? What are you trying to say?"

"She… lied to…you." She lied? She lied! It was never her intention to give me an opportunity to stop it? Was it all a sick game?

"Then…what was she planning on doing?" I questioned.

"Execution…supposed to be…early…this morning…should have…already happened."

That was when it really hit me. If Devlin had not stepped in Muarim would have already died and I would have been too late. My stomach did somersaults. "No! That can't…how do you even know all this?"

"She wanted to…lure you back here…I heard her say it…"

Muarim's eyes widened with sudden recollection. He squatted down near me and grabbed my shoulder. "Little one…he is right! There was no intention of waiting until noon. A day ago…I thought I had seen you stand before me but of course then I assumed I was imaging it. But now…perhaps it makes more sense," Muarim spoke.

"After we were…put in jail…I came here to make sure…he was okay. That's when I heard…" Devlin mumbled.

"How long ago did you leave the Cathedral?" I asked in a hurry.

"Sunrise."

Now I was certain the Holy Guard was well on their way to seek out the apostle. She had been missing since the rising of the sun. They would be going mad with her absence and confused at the swiftness of it. They would find her. And I would be the enemy. After all, I was the one who fled from impending punishment of the misdeeds I had committed. I had the help of Sothe, but I prayed he remained unidentified. I wondered if anyone knew he had aided me in my escape. My heart jolted as I suddenly remembered the lone guard who spotted us. He wasn't bright, but he most likely told others about the escape. The guard had seen both of us. I then came to the realization that not only was I in danger but so was Sothe.

I knew I needed to find Sanaki. I needed to inform her that the Holy Guard would inevitably show up looking for the empress they think to be kidnapped. She would have to explain matters to them as brief and brusque as possible before they homed in on the escapees.

Sanaki's location was not known to me and neither was Sothe's. They had both disappeared in the thick of the fight. Finding them was a top priority. As I planned a quick way to spot them, Devlin began to moan. I had nearly forgotten how debilitated he was until he started to mumble something else.

"Would you…let…me…be your shadow…again?" he asked weakly.

"You already are, aren't you?" I confirmed.

"Not the way I…used to…be." From there his eyes began to slide closed. At first I wasn't sure what he meant.

_"My shadow! It…it's gone!"_

_ "Nope, it's right here!"_

His words echoed off the walls of my mind. He said himself he was my shadow when I first encountered him at the oasis. So, why the sudden denial? Only one possible explanation popped up in my thoughts. By becoming a true shadow once more perhaps he meant to give up his body in order to do so. In truth a shadow shouldn't be something that can breath and be touched. With the body he occupied currently he could never technically be my "shadow". Maybe in order to occupy the darkness that trailed behind me, he needed to leave his body. In much the same way a person dies.

"Devlin…you're not dying are you?" I asked in a fix. He opened his eyes so they were only thin slits and laughed carelessly.

"Just a little bit," he replied.

"How could you laugh about that?" I shouted. My yelling only brought on more laughter. Devlin was cryptic…and that was an understatement. I assumed that my theory was in fact correct. He was abandoning the body he fought so hard for. The body that practically had me waiting at death's door. But he was okay with it…he was happy. None of it seemed logical. What was happy about death?

"I had to do…what I had to do…to keep you safe," he said.

"Keep _me _safe? Muarim's the one who's in danger…or was in danger. I don't understand…"

"Yes but…I saw you…killed…shortly after…" Shortly after? Shortly after what? Maybe he meant after Muarim was executed…if things had gone according to plan. A chilling shiver shot down my spine.

"You _saw _me killed? By who?" How could he have seen something…that did not happen? Particularly something so dreadful. When he spoke again his response made me jump.

"You," he said. Me. How did he know about the awful thoughts that swam through my mind that one night? Only Sothe knew and I was glad it was only him. I didn't want anyone else to know of such a horrible weakness, especially Muarim. I doubted he could follow most of the conversation, but I was certain he could comprehend what was just said.

"How do you…but…Sothe…"

"I know everything you know."

It was impossible but reasonableat the same time. I recalled him saying something very similar to that the day we met_. __I see everything you see because we're connected! I know what's going on and I'm here to help if you'll just let me. _Finally I understood what he meant. _Who am I? I'm you! Isn't it obvious? Boy, you are dense!_

Out of the corner of my eye I could tell Muarim was horrified. I knew he was very bewildered, but scared more than anything.

"But I didn't! Sothe…he…he…he talked me out of it. So…you thought wrong!" I snapped. Muarim didn't say anything though, to my surprise. It was something he would surely address later, to my dismay.

"And how do you…think….he found…you?"

My eyes widened with a new sense of clarity. Devlin must have left to inform Sothe of my whereabouts the night I thought he had abandoned me. But what else did he tell him?

"How much did you tell Sothe? Hey look at me! Don't go yet! You still have a lot of explaining left to do!"

The light in his eyes burnt out like a candle. They were so distant and yet they tried desperately to hang on. He wanted to tell me more, but it became clear that he was unable. He clenched my wrist with the almost invisible crest branded on it. As he squeezed it tighter, the crest shined with an ominous red glow.

"Hey! Don't die on me!" I roared.

"I only die when you die, brother," he whispered. "…always be…right behind you…"

That was when the red glow on our wrists faded into nothingness. The crests disappeared and Devlin smiled stupidly one last time. Thin lines of black smoke erupted from his flesh. His body almost seemed to sink into the ground until it was once again a two dimensional black silhouette staring back at me. I was positive it was smiling.

Was he really gone? Was he…dead? For some reason…the feeling of loss didn't spread over me like I thought it would. I didn't feel sad or angry…because it didn't feel like he had left at all. Then, as I gazed at my shadow on the ground I realized something. There was no feeling of loss because I had lost nothing. I had only gained. Devlin was right…he did not die. He was just back where he belonged. I suddenly felt a feeling of overwhelming appreciation for him. Everything he did was for my well being. Muarim was alive because of him. _I_ was alive because of him. He gave up the body he was so ecstatic about inhabiting. _I only die when you die, brother. _Then again, maybe he was saving his own ass. But whatever his motives, I was still eternally grateful.

"I am…lost," said Muarim in utter perplexity.

"You should be," I replied with a laugh. We both turned in the direction of the chaos. I couldn't see Sothe, but Sanaki was visible. I breathed a sigh of relief upon seeing her unharmed. But, where had Sothe gone? I asked him to defend her back and clearly he wasn't doing so. Nervous butterflies fluttered in the pit of my stomach.

I watched closely as she performed spells I had never seen before. She summoned catastrophic bolts of lightning and enough wind to take anyone out in one solid hit. She was destructive, dynamic, and yet perfectly controlled.

Muarim helped me up into a standing position. Black spots cloudedmy vision as I stood. Too much magic…way too much. It was a crippling feeling…a helpless feeling. I tried to swallow it down the best I could. I was almost jealous seeing as Sanaki could send several destructive blows of magic everywhere she turned, without showing any signs of weariness. I guessed the adrenaline really worked.

I told Muarim quickly about the Holy Guard possibly coming after me and probably Sothe as well.

"Then we must find little Sothe and keep him safe. How did you possibly bring the apostle here?" he asked in a troubled voice.

"Well that's a long story…I'll save that tale for another day!" I replied cheerfully.

"You have many tales you need to tell me, little one," he spoke gravely. I knew some of the things Devlin had spoken of probably concerned him. I felt that a long talk between us was well on its way.

"I know…okay, we should go to Sanaki first and let her know what's going-" I was cut short by the distinct noise of heels clicking on pavement. My heart jumped and I broke a cold sweat. The woman who inflicted unfixable pain on Muarim was in front of me, the woman I hated to even call my mother. But, that's who she was. A deceitful, lying, masochistic woman…who never intended to give me a chance to stop her cruelty. Her cold stare shooting through me, sending me shivers. I realized Devlin had failed to tell me what he did with her to keep her away for so long. He certainly had made the rounds while he was gone.

At the sight of his master Muarim glowed with undeniable shame. I found his hand and held onto it securely, to let him know that I would never let her come between us again. I narrowed my eyes at her showing all the scorn I bared in one simple gesture. Soon, the clicking of heels stopped. Her eyes were instantly drawn to what was left of Warren. His body was scorched and charred. The burnt flesh gave off a pungent smell. The clicking of heels resonated again as she took a few steps closer to the lifeless body of her spouse.

I couldn't stop thinking that seeing Warren's scorched body would send her into a rampage. But, her face remained cool and careless. As she stood over his body she laughed sadistically. Then, she folded her arms over her chest and stepped on top of her fallen spouse, digging her sharp heel into his burnt skin. She was merciless and brusque. Not even an ounce of pity showed. Maybe Devlin wasn't exaggerating her malice after all. In fact, he captured her character perfectly.

"Useless fool," she spat. I watched in disgust at her bone-chilling malevolence.

"She's absolutely insane," I muttered to Muarim. He grunted nervously in return.

"She's a spirit charmer, little one. At least that is what the others used to tell me…" Muarim replied in a hushed tone. A spirit charmer? I had heard of that term from the man who had taught me magic in the desert so long ago. From what I recalled a spirit charmer would invite spirits into his or her body to become more proficient with magic. The spirits were said to produce vast amounts of essence that would energize the magic. Supposedly, it would inflate the magician's power at an astounding rate but at the cost of consuming the charmer's soul. I never once considered something like spirit charming to be responsible for her brutality. "Her and your father. They both did it. But this was before she knew she was having you. It used to be just a rumor between us slaves, but I always felt there was truth to it," he added, even quieter than before.

"My parents…spirit charmers? But she said something about magic lords before…" I breathed.

"According to the rumors, your father had done it a very long time ago. He didn't want you're mother worrying so he made up the story about the lords. It was only a cover-up." A cover-up? Everything suddenly became a little more understandable. Her malicious conduct could have been the long-term results of housing spirits in her body. Good spirits and bad spirits. Something told me her body was full of bad ones. But then again, I only knew her to be wicked and cruel. I didn't know her any other way. The thought of her acting anything but evil was difficult to wrap my head around. Although Muarim said it was just a rumor…it seemed so possible. From what I had heard…my father was very strong. Spirit charming was a simple explanation to his strength. I wondered if the alleged "rumors" explained my lack of control with magic I experienced at times.

I knew I would be left pondering such things seeing as any remnants of a soul in my mother were lost a very long time ago. Both Muarim and I watched her as she chuckled heartily at the man she once called a husband. She was mad, absolutely mad. It was a strange yet comforting thought knowing that her insanity was not always a part of her, assuming the rumors were true.

Minutes passed as she stood over her fallen spouse laughing wildly. Abruptly, the fighting ceased and all turned their heads in the direction of her act of irrationality. Silence fell over us all. I wasn't sure what brought it on. Was her booming laughter really that loud? Or was it the sheer ruthlessness of her behavior? It was ruthless enough to pause the battling. Swords were lowered while critical bolts of lightning and fierce gusts of wind disappeared as Sanaki closed her tome. She turned her head in the direction of the menacing laughter. The disgusted look on her face was obvious. She began to sprint toward me when the laughter stopped and all grew even more silent and still.

Muarim shoved me so I was standing behind. I wanted to yell at him until my tired gaze wandered to the distinct scars embedded on his back. I could tell some were very old by the way they were fading. Others were fresh, probably from today.

"Nothing justifies what she did," I murmured into Muarim's warm back.

At last my mother was done with her mad outburst of hilarity. She sauntered her way to Muarim and I. Her face didn't come off as angry, if anything it looked amused.

"You're very clever. Would you accept my praise?" she spoke spitefully. I stepped out from behind Muarim, still holding his hand. It was partially for support so I wouldn't collapse from the terrible fatigue. But it was also to ease my own mind, just so I knew he was still there.

"I don't need praise," I replied dryly.

"Oh? Well that's too bad, isn't it?"

I squeezed Muarim's hand tighter. He gave me a reassuring squeeze back. _He's still here…good…_

"You certainly have interesting friends. Very…manipulative…" she said. She was speaking of Devlin. I doubted she knew what exactly he was.

"Well…they sure come in handy," I replied.

"Shadow splitting is a dangerous game to play. You're fool of a father died just attempting it."

Shadow splitting? So she knew Devlin was my shadow. I didn't know what to say back to her.

"Perhaps I should offer your shadow the praise. After all, he kept me out of the picture for quite some time. I can't remember what he did…but I only just woke up a little while ago. Where is that vermin?" she asked.

"He's not here," I responded. She pretended to look surprised and hurt.

"Oh…I see. That makes my job a little bit easier," she said contentedly. I held her disdainful glare for another moment until I really spoke out.

"I want you stop this right now. There will not be an execution today so tell all these people to go home."

She chuckled darkly upon my request. She put on a fake frown as if she were mocking me. "Aww, did you miss your sub-human while he was gone? Look how close you two are…it's touching, really," she spoke with sarcasm while she glanced at my hand that hung on feverishly to Muarim's.

"You don't know anything," I retorted. She really didn't, she was mad.

"Is that so? It's a pity I always have to separate you two." She sighed like she was feeling sympathy. "Hm…how unfortunate."

"You're not taking him! He's not yours anymore, so leave us both alone!" I shouted, my voice beginning to crack from tears that wanted desperately to fall. I hugged Muarim by the waist, to show I wasn't leaving his side.

She took a few steps closer, her heels clicking as she moved. "It looks like I'm going to have some difficulty getting that noose around the beast's neck. I guess I'll just have to take matters into my own hands," she declared. The tips of her fingers flared to life with dancing orange flames. Her eyes grew large and seemed to take on more fire-like characteristics. I could barely see straight but for Muarim's sake I lit a flame in my hand, with my entire arm trembling. But, despite my efforts my focus slipped so easily and I found myself stumbling backward into Muarim. I couldn't do it. I couldn't light even a single flame.

"Why don't you step aside and save yourself some unnecessary pain? The beast's life is the only one I'm after," she announced.

"I'm sorry, but I can't let you do that," came a soft voice approaching me from behind. It was Sanaki. Her violet hair whipped away from her face as she walked against a strong wind that was forming. The sky was now bursting with dark threatening storm clouds. A lone drop of rain landed on the tip of my noise. I tilted my head toward the sky to see several more small droplets descending from the clouds.

I was relieved Sanaki had finally shown herself to the one who wanted Muarim dead the most. She stood in front of me in a protective way. It seemed like she caught on to my feebleness when her eyes skimmed over me. My legs were quaking and Muarim steadied me the best he could.

"Ah yes…the Empress! Yet…you are just a child and you're here without your entourage. What is it you plan to do?" my mother asked with skepticism. Sanaki gripped her tome angrily and took note of the flames growing on her challenger's fingertips. She took a quick peek at the foreboding sky, probably noticing that a rainstorm was not a favorable battlefield for one who used fire magic.

"If you are looking for a fight, I will be your opponent," Sanaki stated boldly.

"I'm honored that you find me worthy enough to take you on, Empress."

They took a few weary steps closer to each other. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to believe that Sanaki would easily come out victorious, but I still worried for her. There wasn't anything I could say to make her stop and I myself was nowhere near combat ready. That helpless feeling started to tease me again. The feeling that I was powerless to do anything.

Before the fighting could commence something momentous happened. A man armed with a sword came weaving through crowd closer toward us. He kept his shiny blade pressed up against the throat of someone much smaller than him. I drew in a sharp breath as my eyes registered the head of green hair that I had become so accustomed to. I immediately pushed myself away from Muarim and ran full speed ahead against my body's will.

"Sothe!" I screamed instinctively. The swordsman kept his grip on Sothe ever tighter as he noticed me yell for him. He then moved toward my mother to present his finding to her.

"Excuse me, Miss. I was able to capture this one. He seems of importance…" the swordsman glanced at my distraught face. "Wasn't sure if I should kill him or hold him as a hostage. You're choice, Miss," he spoke.

I nearly tripped as I ran for the swordsman. Sothe's eyes briefly met mine. "Sothe! Sothe! Please let him go! Don't hurt him! He has nothing to do with any of this! Please, I'm begging you…please…" I implored urgently.

"Well this sure changes things…the tide certainly has turned," my mother pondered aloud.

Muarim rushed to my side, speaking out for the first time. "Let him go! You have no reason to harm him. I won't let you cause my little one grief," he bellowed.

"Release him! No more dirty tricks…fight me honorably!" Sanaki screamed viciously. Her hasty explosion of rage startled me.

"Oh! I've thought of something most delightful!" My mother walked closer to me and lifted my chin up with one of her fingers. "If you surrender now, I'll let you all escape with your lives. But Tormod, my sweetheart, all I ask is that you come back to your mother and live with me again. Quite a generous deal, if I do say so myself!" She spoke.

"You won't kill…anyone? Not even Muarim?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Not even Muarim," she repeated soothingly as she moved a strand of hair away from my face. Sothe started to squirm under the swordsman's hold. His eyes were wild with desperation.

"Tormod! No! Don't be stupid! Think about this!" Sothe yelled. As he made his voice known, the swordsman held his blade closer to Sothe's neck. This time, he drew blood to prove he was serious. Sothe cried out in agony.

They were going to kill him. Sothe would die if I did not make my decision. Sothe…dead. No, I would never let such a thing happen. I needed Sothe. He was my best friend…he would always be my best friend. It was my fault he was here. His death would be on my hands. A world without Sothe…it was unthinkable. It couldn't happen…it absolutely would not happen. _Sothe…you are going to live…_

I fell to my knees and dropped my hands to my side. Then, I bowed my head to further prove my defeat and spoke the words that would ensure Sothe his life. "I surrender."


	33. Chapter 33 Left Behind

Chapter 33 Left Behind

"Tormod! No!" Sothe hollered.

The decision wasn't difficult to make. It was really only a matter of if I wanted Sothe dead or alive. The answer was clear as glass. Not only would I be able to save Sothe but I could save Muarim too. How could I pass up on such an offer? I kept my head down low and awaited my mother's approval.

"Wise choice…wise choice indeed," my mother agreed. At that, I turned myself around to look into Muarim's pained eyes. He knew I would never let anything happen to Sothe even if it boded ill for me. He was still distressed by the decision though. By saving everyone else, I would condemn myself.

I didn't care what was to come of me. As long as the ones I loved were safe, wanting anything more was just greedy. My mother seemed more than pleased with my surrender. The swordsman with his silver blade hugging Sothe's throat cautiously loosened his grip, but not all the way. He glimpsed at my mother for direction.

I couldn't take the sight of that blade being pressed against Sothe's innocent throat any longer. My frustration got the better of me. "Just let him go already! I said I surrendered!" I howled.

My mother gave the swordsman a nod. Before he set Sothe free, Sanaki spoke out.

"Wait!" she yelled. Upon her interruption the swordsman locked Sothe back into his hold, with the blade still being held tightly against his partially cut throat. Sanaki looked to me with a strange apologetic aura. "Tormod…you might not like this but as the apostle of Begnion…I overrule your decision to surrender."

My eyes shot wide open in astonishment. My blood started to bubble with wrath. How could she do that? Did she want Sothe dead?

"Overrule? Just because you're the Empress does _not _mean you can mess with my decisions. I won't let them hurt Sothe! Don't listen to her! I surrender!" I countered.

"I am sorry, but I am not allowing slavery to continue in Begnion. Which is why we do not surrender." Betrayal. The feeling consumed my mind. Sanaki was going to let Sothe die. I understood her reason but she would never fully understand my objection. She would never understand why living in a world without Sothe would be excruciating.

"No surrender?" Mother asked.

"Absolutely not. I will fight you now. Come and show me everything you've got!"

"Very well. You may do as you please with the urchin," she said to the swordsman.

"NO! You can't do this! SOTHE!" I cried in hysteria. By the time I had picked myself up off the ground, I was too late. The swordsman let his blade begin to slide across Sothe's throat in a clean swift motion. Blood followed where the blade made contact with his skin. I wanted to erase Sothe's death scream from my mind. It was so haunting that I wanted to throw my hands over my ears, but I felt I did not even have enough strength to do so. Blood trickled off the blade and onto the floor in a neat pile. However, as I listened closely I could hear two sets of screams. The swordsman's blade made it halfway across Sothe's neck before Sothe jerked his body into the swordsman. It took a moment for me to realize that Sothe had thrust a dagger into the swordsman's abdomen.

Despite Sothe's counter attack seeing him hurt was enough to make me woozy with grief. The swordsman took a few unsteady steps backward allowing Sothe the opportunity to slump to the ground limply.

I scurried to Sothe, whose neck seemed to pour out all of the blood left in his body. The gash was somewhat deep but it only impaled a part of his neck. What was I to do? I pressed my ear against his chest to listen for the beating of his heart. I felt a gentle thump against my ear. He was still alive. He could definitely be saved. _If only I was stronger! _

"Sothe! Sothe! Can you hear me?" I asked frantically into his ear. He forced his eyes open slightly and parted his lips to let out a laugh that sounded more like an awkward squeak.

"Loud and clear," he managed. His voice was hoarse, which didn't come as a surprise to me at all. He was talking, he was aware of me, and most importantly his heart was beating. The wound bled heavily but it wasn't as deep as it could be. He would be okay for a little while if I could stop his bleeding. I started to remove his tattered scarf from around his neck. By all of the rips it bared I came to the conclusion that his signature scarf absorbed some impact of the blade. It had also absorbed more than enough blood.

I tried to be as meticulous as possible, so I would not hurt him. As I did so, I decided it would be best to keep him talking. I didn't need him passing out on me.

"Was this what you were worried about before? Getting hurt?" I questioned. Sothe snorted in disapproval.

"Of course not. I'm only worried about you," he replied. A feeling of warmth spread over me.

"Why is that?"

"Don't know how to explain it."

With his scarf completely removed I could see his wound more clearly. There was no doubt he could have been cut much deeper. I unfastened my orange cape from around my neck. I held the clean soft fabric up to the gash and applied pressure when needed.

"How terrible does it feel?" I asked, while peeling away my cape to check on his wound.

"I've been better," he said. As I hovered over him intently the noises of battle filled my ears. The fighting commenced once again when the swordsman drew Sothe's blood. The shrieking of the ravens and hawks was enough to grab anyone's attention. Sounds of rumbling thunder drew my focus to where Sanaki was fighting ferociously against my mother. With the rain now falling steadily, it would be difficult to cast a decent fire spell, but Sanaki was in perfect conditions to use thunder.

I pulled my stained cape away from Sothe's neck for a moment. I took advantage of the unusual rain that was falling in abundance from the sky. I let the droplets of water fall into the gash in hopes that it would cleanse it. The rainwater washed away any blood that threatened to pour from the wound.

"Why'd you surrender so quickly? It's like you weren't thinking at all," Sothe spoke. I took my cape again and periodically dabbed the wound. Not as much blood was absorbed, the rainwater was helping.

"What was there to think about? They were going to kill you," I replied in honesty.

"Well I'm still here, aren't I?"

"How was I supposed to know you were gonna pull a stunt like that? Why didn't you just stab him before…had to cause suspense, didn't you?" I rolled my eyes thinking how I wouldn't have been so hasty if I had known what Sothe was planning.

"No…you couldn't have. Honestly, it was a last second decision. I wasn't even sure if I'd be able to pull the knife out in time but somehow I did."

The fact that it wasn't always his plan made me feel a little bit better. Despite everything, he was still hurt because of me. "I never wanted this to happen…."

A natural rumble of thunder made the ground quake and lightning protruded from the heavy storm clouds. The streaks lit up the darkened sky and branched out in every which direction. Soon the rain was falling at a more impressive rate. Both Sothe and I were soaked from head to toe from the downpour. All of the rain would surely make fighting difficult.

"I'm going to be fine," Sothe assured. He only temporarily alleviated my worries. A new sound created a different fear in my gut. My heart leapt at the sound of large wings flapping vigorously. It wasn't one of the laguz. The flapping was more definite…and more plentiful.

My eyes flickered upward at a pack of pegasus knights soaring through the blackening sky. The Holy Guard. I failed to catch my breath for a moment as I realized I had forgotten. I absolutely forgot. The Holy Guard! I had predicted their arrival and failed to warn Sanaki and the others. I knew exactly what they were coming for. They wanted me dead after what I had done. They probably wanted Sothe as well. My eyes darted from the Holy Guard to Sanaki. She was still engaged in combat. She was fighting with magic, if I broke her concentration for even a second, the results could be fatal. Where was I to go? I had to hide.

"Tormod, is that…?" Sothe began with fear edging on his voice. I swallowed deeply and nodded my head in return.

"Yes! We have to get out of here! Can you run?" I asked in a hurry. Sothe stirred where he had fallen. He struggled for a few more moments until he miserably shook his head. The rapid blood loss had weakened him. I was in a weakened state as well but at the time, I was the strongest out of the two of us. The Holy Guard was moving in on us and fast. I could tell they were infuriated by the way their weapons were raised high in the air.

They had all begun their decent toward the ground. They would close in on us in a matter of seconds. So I did the only thing I could think to do. Although my muscles pretty much refused, I hoisted Sothe over my shoulder. After securing him, I ran. I ran faster than my legs could bear. I sprinted with my back toward the raging pegasus knights. I gasped for air as I ran but as I tried desperately to suck in a breath all I got was a mouthful of rainwater. As I sprinted furiously the rain fell even more aggressively to the point where I could barely see what was in front of me.

Then, in less than a second my boot became trapped in a groove hidden in the ground. I fell forward without so much as a fight. I lost my grip on Sothe and his body launched forward before I could grab a better hold of him. He soon came to a skidding stop not too far from me, with his face down.

The others soon noticed the disturbance. I could no longer hear the prominent sounds of fire crackling, wind blowing, or lightning flaring. I wasn't positive, but I thought I had heard Sanaki scream something. Out of the corner of my eye I could see her rushing toward the Holy Guard with her arms flailing to get their attention. One pegasus knight strayed from the pack to speak with her. The rest continued to charge full speed ahead with not even a drop of mercy in their bloodthirsty eyes. I counted around seven of them, some equipped with spears, others with swords.

There was nowhere left to run so I did the only thing my crazed mind could think of under pressure. I dashed to Sothe who was debilitated and crouched on top of him to shield his body. _He wouldn't be in this mess if it weren't for me… _

He at least deserved to be able to runaway with his life still in tact. I hoped that was one thing I would be able to give him. I could feel his body shaking underneath mine. I couldn't blame him, I was scared too. I thought I heard him say something but between the shrieking of the laguz, the rumbling of thunder, and the resonant flapping of wings and clapping of hooves, there was no way I would be able to make out a word he was saying with his head pressed to the ground.

The flapping of wings was so close by. It was now only a few inches behind me. I accepted death in that moment. All I wanted was for Sothe to live. I could barely breathe…my mind raced with images of my life. As I squeezed my eyes shut all I could see was Muarim, taking care of me when I was sick, holding me if I had a nightmare and patching up my little cuts and burns from fire magic. I was prepared to let go once and for all when I heard the heavy breathing of several knights behind me, their breaths practically rolling down my back.

"Sothe…I'm sorry…" I mumbled fretfully. Both of our bodies were sopping wet and shaking from the inevitability of what was to come. But I was still warm, knowing I could keep Sothe from feeling the pain of a sword through his back. I locked my arms around his torso so he wouldn't slip away.

Just as I was prepared to lose my life I felt strong hands push me forcefully to the side. My body rolled and fumbled to a sliding halt. Sothe was still underneath me. We both continued to tremble like earthquakes. I didn't know what had occurred until the sound of a sword ripping through flesh met my ears. I heard someone cry out the word "stop" frantically. The next thing I heard was a deadly roar, an animal-like roar. A roar that could only belong to one person…

"Stop it! Stop it now! They are not the enem-" It was Sanaki's voice I heard shouting before, but she was abruptly cut off by a loud thud. I could hear my mother screaming something profound directed toward Sanaki. I didn't need to look up to know my mother had attacked her while she was unprepared. But it wasn't long until the Holy Guard turned their attention away from us and left it solely on Sanaki who was in danger. After all, her well-being was their first priority. When I was sure they were no longer interested in attacking us, I tore myself away from Sothe and lifted up my head to put images into all of the noises I heard.

When I opened my eyes my body went numb. I was frozen. I couldn't think. I couldn't breathe. It was over…everything I fought so hard for…was over. I didn't need to push for tears because they fell freely from my puffing eyes. My body felt like it was terribly sick.

"Muarim…?" My voice came out more like a squeak rather than something comprehendible. What my eyes perceived was something so nightmarish that I really thought I would wake up gasping and sweaty. Muarim sat on his knees with his arms cradling his stomach. My nostrils filled with the metallic scent of blood. It oozed wildly from his stomach and through a dark red opening on his back. I couldn't see the wound on his gut but I could tell it was horrifying by the way the blood seeped through the spaces in between his fingers.

Once I got through the phase of absolute shock I went into hysteria. I crawled hurriedly to his side and screamed out his name so uncontrollably that I almost forgot why I was saying it.

"MUARIM! Muarim…Muarim…Muarim…" I sobbed. It was impossible to stop of the uncontainable quivering of my lip and the running of my nose. I continued to cry out his name frenziedly. I grabbed him by his shoulders and shook him a little, anything to get a response from him. "Look at me! Muarim, why won't you look at me!"

Slowly, he forced his head up and our eyes met. "Little one…you're safe…that makes me…very happy…" he said quietly.

"But that doesn't make _me_ happy! Just hold on…I'll…I'll think of something! Just give me a minute…"

He brought his wet slippery hand away from his stomach and to my cheek. His blood smeared on my skin where his hand touched it affectionately. Now that his hand was on my face I could clearly see the wound he had been covering. When I saw it…I just knew…I knew it was so deep that there was no way he could possibly hang on…even for me but my mind just wouldn't acknowledge it no matter how obvious it appeared.

The injury was especially vivid without the presence of his typical navy blue top and white band around his waist. I could see where his skin was torn and where the blade entered his body. The heart of the wound was mostly dark and extended all the way to his back.

Getting the whole picture, I cried. I cried so heavily my body felt like it was being crippled with heartache. I gripped Muarim's cooling hand that rested on my cheek. It was cold…so icy cold.

"Please don't cry," he said. After he spoke I choked on my own tears and gasped viciously for a breath between sobs. I would allow myself to disobey him without hesitation.

"This is all my fault…I'm so weak! I can't protect anyone!" I screamed mournfully. Muarim dropped his bloody hand from my cheek and let me fall into his arms like a weeping infant. I didn't like how my body was so close to his wound, but I tried not to let it bother me. I propped my head up on his shoulder and wept harder than I ever had prior. My sobbing became so violent I could already feel nausea coming on. I glanced at Sothe who lied motionless on the ground, face down. When did he lose consciousness? I had not the slightest idea. But I wanted so badly for him to be at my side telling me Muarim would be okay, telling me to stop crying like a fool.

Muarim tried to speak again but this time his words became muffled with the sound of him regurgitating blood.

"Don't go…you promised! You promised you'd never leave! Please…stay…" I cried into his shoulder. Any disturbing feeling of being too close to his open wound vanished. I threw my arms around his neck and no longer cared how much his wound rubbed up against me.

"You'll always be…my little one," he murmured.

"You promise?" I lifted my head up so I was staring at him directly. His eyes were so weary, like they were somewhere else. He kissed my forehead lovingly and crumbled to the ground in defeat.

"I promise," he swore. After that any hope for further conversation was lost. He was in another world, but he wasn't gone from me forever. I would never accept such a thing.

"Muarim…wake up," I said seriously. I shook his body that slid to the ground. He was motionless and still…like he was in a deep slumber. But not dead, never dead, just still, cold, and unresponsive. All characteristics of someone….at rest. "Now isn't a good time to go to sleep…there's fighting going on." Still no response, not even a twitch. I gently slapped his cheek. "We can go to sleep later but…not now…not here…" My voice became lost in another attack of tears.

Amidst my sanity slipping away from me…I heard a voice. It was trying to tell me something. _Great, now I'm losing mind. _It took a second to process that the voice wasn't something imaginary my delirious mind made up, it was a memory.

_"But what if…what if it was a life or death situation and a normal healing spell wouldn't do the trick? Could you use adrenaline…to give the person more time?"_

_"Now that would depend on you, Tormod. How do you measure quality of life? Ask yourself that. You're correct that in a sense that adrenaline would give them more time but at the price of only doubling the previous pain. Would you rather live a few extra hours with the anticipation of grueling pain? Or would you rather die then and not put off the inevitable? That is a situation I hope you are never put in!"_

Adrenaline! Once again I was finding it was the answer to my problems. But I had already used too much magic…how would I pull something so strenuous off? Not only that but would I even be able to get Muarim help in time? What would come of me if I somehow pulled it off? I wondered if death would find me.

"_Once the spell wears off it will only double the pain or illness and in rare cases it could even take years away from the healer's life. Of course such a heavy risk would only be an effect from a fatal wound. So…it's best to only use this spell in fight or flight situations. If the injury is grave…I highly suggest staying away from adrenaline seeing as it will only cause more harm than good. Not only to the one you are healing, but you as well."_

How _did _I measure quality of life? Would it be selfish to want to keep him with me a little while longer? A part of me knew that, in the state I was in, I would never be able to cast such a strong spell. 'It never hurts to try' was something that no longer applied to me. It did hurt to try. But what else was I to do?

"Muarim? You're not listening to me…I said to wake up! Don't ignore me!" I barked in a thick cracking voice. I rested his head on my lap, while warm tears slid off my cheek and landed on his forehead. He stirred slightly in my hold. He was beginning to rouse. A hiss of pain escaped through his gritted teeth. "Good…now stay that way!"

"Little one…listen…" he began. A pounding headache came on as I watched him spit up blood helplessly. With blood dripping from the corners of his mouth, he mustered up the strength to attempt at words again. "I want you…to…stay close…to your friends…always. Don't push anyone…away…be…happy. I want you to be hap-" He cut his own words short with a raspy cough. _Why is this happening? Why?_

"S-s-stop saying s-s-tupid things like that! We're gonna go home soon…with everybody. They're here, Muarim. All of our friends are here so we can bring you home. I promised we'd tell them stories…"

"You are going to be angry with me…my little one…"

"Angry…?"

"I know I won't make it home…right here…with you…this is a fine place…to let go."

"No! You're staying here with me, I won't accept anything else!"

I couldn't quite pinpoint the reason for the ripping and stabbing sensation inside my chest. My stomach twisted like I was nervous. Was it the first sign of hopelessness? Muarim winced continuously and contorted his face in the agony that was burning inside him. I moved his head off my lap so he was lying on the ground.

"All I will miss of this life is you…don't ever change…you're _not_ weak…you've done so much for me. I'm happy…so happy…I could give my life to protect you…"

_I could give my life to protect you. _Why did those words linger in my head? Why couldn't I stop hearing them echo through my mind? Why did I suddenly feel so terribly guilty? I felt like I had taken something from him. The words took their full meaning in my head but I refused to believe them. They were too finalizing and my mind wasn't sane enough to process them.

"Shush! You're saying weird things again, Muarim. And I don't understand them."

"Little one…I don't want to see…you again…any time soon."

"What? You don't want me anymore? Muarim!" I knew exactly what he meant but I only feigned my ignorance in hopes of tricking my own mind. He was talking like he was…leaving me. He didn't want to see me in the afterlife where he assumed he was heading.

His wet bloody hand reached for mine. He held my hand as tight as he could which wasn't tight at all. He could barely hold on to it. His eyes started closing again and the smallest of smiles touched his lips.

"Stay with them…be…happy….love you always…" His head fell lifelessly to his side and his hand slipped out of mine. Everything then fell so deathly silent. I couldn't hear fighting or shouting behind me. The only sound I could comprehend was the beating of my own heart.

"Muarim? What are you doing? WAKE UP!" I shook him ferociously but this time he wasn't rousing. I shook him again with a little more force. "Wake up…wake up…please…wake up…" I clutched his shoulders firmly and shook him again. "Can't you hear me? I said wake up!" At last, I gave up on shaking him, it wasn't working like it had the first time. He was different…he was so still and cold much more so than before. I detached my hands away from him completely. I let my arms dangle at my side. For a moment all I could do was stare. I felt frozen in time until finally my emotions went absolutely wild. "YOU'RE NOT LEAVING ME!"

I viciously chanted the healing spell of adrenaline. Just by whispering the words I could already feel my own life draining from me but I couldn't stop. As I chanted with every last drop of energy in my body I pictured Rhys yelling at me telling me to stop because I would hurt myself. I didn't care if it would hurt me or kill me. At that point, there was nothing left to lose.

Soon, I found myself screaming the words of the ancient language. Sharp bursts of pain erupted all over like millions of tiny needles pricking my skin. My vision became cloudy and a feeling of overwhelming exhaustion took me over. I thought I heard someone calling my name out, but I wasn't certain. I couldn't hear much besides my own heavy breathing and the word "idiot" being yelled over and over again. I didn't know who was shouting or why but I felt the presence of others at my side.

A small delicate hand slid down my back. "I'm sorry…" said a warm sweet voice. The voice was the last thing I heard before something strong and solid crashed into the back of my head and the world around me went dark.

* * *

**A/N: **Expect around two more chapters! Reviews are appreciated :)


	34. Chapter 34 The Pain That Grows

**A/N:** Sorry this took so long to get up! I had a lot I needed to cover seeing as I'm only writing one more chapter after this one. This chapter was difficult to write...you'll understand why after you read it. Anyway...once again sorry for the delay and enjoy! :)

* * *

Chapter 34 The Pain That Grows

Warm white sheets rubbed up against my skin. A soft cuddly mattress was underneath me, relieving the soreness of my muscles. A bed? It had been so long since I'd been in one. My hands squeezed the sheets ferociously as previous events found there way back into my conscious mind. Being in a half dreaming state led to the uncontrollable kicking and thrashing of my legs. The warm sheets slid to the floor and left my body feeling cold.

Who was dead and who was alive? I needed to know. The unanswered question forced a shrill scream to explode from my lungs. Immediately upon screaming strong sweaty hands pinned me down to the bed. I shot my eyes open to see a head of green hair in my face and two glowing golden orbs staring at me intensely. My heart hopped in joy and a feeling of relief put my mind temporarily at ease.

"Tormod! Calm down!" Sothe insisted. It was such a great pleasure to hear his voice without a strain in it. His face was full of color and his eyes were lively. Seeing him with a healthy glow gave me hope that maybe…just maybe…

"Sothe! Wha-what's going on? Where is everybody?"

He unpinned my arms and rolled off of me now that I had stopped thrashing. He held a sad glimmer in his eyes.

"Well…we're in the cathedral…and you were out cold for a whole day."

My eyes bulged in disbelief. "A whole day?" I repeated. I tried not to think of all that could have gone on in a full day.

"Yeah. The healers here are really something else. My eye is back to the way it always used to be. I almost forgot what it was like to see out of two eyes!"

I had completely overlooked it before, but he was right. Once again, his eyes were two golden saucers. He looked more like himself but there was still something about him that was amiss.

"That's amazing! And Sanaki? I assume she's okay because if she weren't I guess we'd both be dead, huh?"

He nodded his head in agreement. More good news. Thank the Goddess. "Yep. She's been in bed for a while…came down with another fever last I heard. But, she's supposed to make a full recovery."

I was about to part my lips to ask the main question that had been on my mind but before I could do so Sothe interrupted me. "Um…your mother…she…"

It was obvious he was unsure how I felt about her. He didn't want to come off as too insensitive it seemed but I could already assume what he was trying to convey.

"Died?" I asked. With the Holy Guard there, I didn't see any way for her survival. Sothe nodded his head without speaking. Her death didn't come as a surprise to me at all. If the situation had called for it, I would have done the job myself. I didn't feel any sorrow or loss inside me. If anything I was glad that she could no longer inflict pain on another laguz again. "Oh," I said. Sothe appeared uncomfortable by the topic. He avoided looking at me directly. "So…is there anything else you need to tell me?" I had finally come out with it.

His eyes told me everything. He frowned dismally and dropped his gaze again.

"Where is Muarim?" My voice became stern and demanding. I needed it to be official. No more hints or games. I had to hear it. I had to know. Sothe looked like he wanted to run away.

He failed to speak when I wanted him to. Instead, he shook his head. I understood the message he tried to send me. Before I could ask for more detail, he finally spoke. "Tormod…he's gone."

The words didn't seem real at first. Muarim…gone? How was that even possible? I suddenly remembered trying to save him before I had blacked out. The healing spell could have worked…he could still be…alive.

"You're lying," I said.

"Why would I ever lie about that?"

Why _would_ he lie about that? He wouldn't. He would never do something so heartless. He was telling me the truth. Unbelievable grief detonated from my body in the form of uncontrollable weeping and trembling. My skin felt cold and frost bitten and my entire mind felt like it was collapsing. I buried my face in my hands and sobbed so violently that I thought my tears would burn a whole through my palm.

"Muarim…gone….no…no…" I cried out. Warm arms wrapped around my shoulders and back. Noticing that Sothe was comforting me, I lifted my tear-drenched face away from my hands. I let my body collapse into his. His chest muffled my horrific screaming. He rubbed my back soothingly in attempt to calm me down. "Sothe…I couldn't save him! It's because I'm so weak! It's all my fault…I was supposed to die…NOT HIM!"

A furious onslaught of tears came soon after speaking. I squeezed Sothe tighter, like he was the only thing keeping me from drowning. "No…it was his choice. He chose death so you could live. He would never want you blaming yourself for this."

I shut my eyes closed but all I could see was Muarim slowly bleeding to death. His gaping wound glistening with blood and his arms cradling his stomach where the sword pierced his skin.

"Sothe…I can't get the pictures out of my head…they won't go away." Nothing could chase away the horrible images but Sothe rubbing my back.

"It's okay…if you need to scream or anything…just do it. I'm right here." I took him up on his offer immediately. I was so frightened that if I let him go, just for a second, he would leave me forever. And then I would truly be alone. I let out a rippling scream that was loud enough to break glass. Sothe didn't cringe or wince. He just let it happen. He didn't tell me stop crying like a fool.

I tried to sniffle back my tears for him, so he wouldn't have to hold me like a weeping child. I did the best that I could to suck down my sobs. But as much as I tried the cries persistently tried to escape from my lips. When I pushed down my tears they disobediently popped back up sounding more like hiccups.

"Just cry. It's okay…you don't have to hold it in," Sothe suggested. I hugged him closer to me and propped my head up on his shoulder.

"Yeah?" I verified, before I completely lost myself.

"Go for it." That was my queue. My body quaked wildly and the horrible stabbing feeling in my chest came back. The same ripping sensation I felt after Muarim spoke to me for the last time. _Stay with them…be…happy….love you always…_

It suddenly occurred to me that I never got the chance to say a real good bye. I was too busy blabbering about how I could save him and becoming consumed in my denial. I never got to say that I loved him. I never told him how happy he always made me, how my life would have been hell without him.

"I didn't tell him…" I whimpered to Sothe. "I didn't tell him how much I…I…" I could only finish my sentence with a deafening scream. My broken yelp must have echoed through the halls because next thing I knew the door to my room swung open. A figure in grey robes came through and muttered something I couldn't hear to Sothe. Sothe nodded his head and peeled himself away from me. I reached out for him as he let me go. He shook off my hands that grabbed for him restlessly. The minute I couldn't feel him anymore was when waves started crashing over my head and I truly felt like I was drowning. I couldn't breath and I could barely open my eyes. All I could do was kick and scream helplessly, hoping that someone would throw me something to float on.

"Sothe! Sothe! Don't go! Sothe! Please! I need you!" I howled sorrowfully. I gasped for air like I had somehow lost the ability to breathe.

"You're going to feel better after this, I promise."

The mattress underneath me became an ocean and I became a castaway that had abandoned his ship. I was drifting away at sea without so much as a plank of wood to hold on to. The ocean's waves swallowed me whole to the point where thrashing and flailing did nothing to keep my head above the water.

A sharp prick to my arm awoke me from my hallucination and the ocean was no longer there. The rocky seas dissolved into nothingness and all I could see and feel was darkness.

* * *

My muscles were locked in place. I couldn't feel or move my own limbs. But I could see and I could hear just fine. The room was empty. It was the same room from before. It was pretty and beautifully decorated. Velvet drapes were pulled away from the room's lone window, directly across from me. Shimmering rays of light shined through the glass. It was morning or at least that's what it appeared to be. Time was something I was unsure of.

I wanted to rub the sleepiness out of my eyes but I couldn't find the strength to lift my arm. Everything felt numb and all I could do was moan loud enough for someone to hear me. I barely remembered Sothe pulling himself away from me. And then there was the drowning and the waves crashing…and then there was a void. What happened in between? Why did I find myself unconscious yet again?

As I pondered what happened I heard a faint creaking from the door. A green head of hair and a pair of golden eyes peeked inside the room. When our eyes met, Sothe completely revealed himself from behind the ajar door. He silently walked to my bedside and settled in a chair adjacent to my bed.

"Sothe…what'd they do to me…I feel…weird…"

Weird was an understatement. I felt terribly lethargic and practically paralyzed. My mind was cloudy and it was a miracle that coherent words were coming from my mouth.

"The healer gave you something to calm you down. No one wants you…y'know…burning down the apostle's home," Sothe admitted. So I was sedated for my own 'benefit'. I scoffed and rolled my eyes at the ridiculous proposition that I would burn down a palace.

"I wouldn't do that," I argued. Sothe nodded his head like he was agreeing with me, but I could still sense some doubt.

"I know but…they didn't want to risk it. And I thought you could use a little…peace of mind."

"Peace of mind? Sothe, I can't move…how is that peaceful? Enlighten me, would you?"

"I'm sorry okay! I just couldn't take seeing you…so…sad. You're always the one who is smiling and laughing and now you're…"

"Not."

There was a long silence between us then. I couldn't think of one thing that would make me laugh or smile now that Muarim was gone. There was just emptiness.

A twisting and burning feeling attacked my chest again. It was the same pain I had felt before I was knocked out and just before I lost Muarim. I scrunched my face up in pain and soon tears started falling freely down my puffy cheeks. I started off just whimpering. I wanted to cover my grief-stricken face with my hand but all I could manage was to lift a few fingers. The total numbness I felt was terrifying.

Before my cries became severe, Sothe hopped up on the bed and draped his arm around my shoulders. As we sat together miserably, something crucial crossed my mind.

"Sothe, where is he? What did they do…with Muarim?" I asked. Slowly I regained feeling in my upper body and it eventual spread down to my lower half. I rested my head on Sothe's shoulder and awaited his reply.

"Well…when I woke up everyone was here. I mean…all of your laguz friends. We waited around for you to wake up but you never did until late last night. So, they left and buried Muarim's body in the desert. They wanted you to be there but they figured you needed your rest and well a body can't lay around for a long time…for certain reasons…"

There it was again. The aching and twisting in my chest struck me as Sothe spoke. "They buried him…without me?" I could barely raise my voice above a whisper. I was too weak to even see him get buried. I couldn't stop thinking how I should have been there, but I wasn't. I knew I wasn't the only one hurting but it was so unfair. Muarim always treated me like his child…and I wasn't even there to say good-bye at his own burial.

"They wanted you to be there but you were out of it. I was told the apostle knocked you out to stop you from using some spell that would have killed you…given the state you were in. You were out a little longer than everyone expected, I guess."

That would explain the throbbing pressure on the back of my head. "I want to go there…where they buried him," I demanded.

"We will."

I couldn't hold myself together anymore. All the talk about Muarim being buried was more than enough to send me into hysterics. The stabbing in my chest became stronger and it took a second for me to realize that my hand was squeezing Sothe's wrist tightly enough to make my knuckles go white.

"It hurts…" I mumbled dreadfully. Sothe pulled me into an embrace and I buried my face into his chest like I had done prior. "Muarim…why didn't you let me die? I would have been better off…better off dead…ahhh! I want to see him!" I lost track of all the swear words that came spewing out of my mouth next. Naturally, my melancholy was replaced with sheer anger. I pulled myself away from Sothe and began on a rampage. My blood started to boil madly. I ran to the only window in the room and sent my fist flying through it. The glass immediately shattered upon contact. The shards stuck out of my skin leaving trails of warm blood behind where they impaled me. Sothe grabbed me by the arm in attempt to stop my outburst.

"Tormod! Cut this out!" he yelled. The glass in my skin was beginning to sting and enflame. I shook my head at his request and moved to the other walls where I tore down any hangings or priceless paintings. "Hey! Snap out of it! Destroying everything won't bring Muarim back!"

I dashed to the bed where I then ripped apart all of the pillows. Feathers exploded and drifted through the air as I shredded every single one I could find. "Then what _will_ bring him back! I don't know what to do or how to cope! Sothe, I can't do this! I can't! Is there a manual on how to deal with losing everything?" My face heated up until it was a flaming shade of crimson. My breathing was heavy with incredible rage. I balled my hands up into shaking fists to contain the rest of my insanity.

"You haven't lost everything! Think about what you still have!"

That was the last thing I heard him say before the man in the grey robe returned. He shot a strange look to Sothe and they both nodded. Sothe tackled me to the floor and kept me pinned down. My back burst with agony where I had fallen.

"No! Sothe, no! I don't want it! I don't…" Before I could finish my protest I felt a similar sharp prick to my neck. Without even realizing it, I fell into the world of unconsciousness where I was met with an uncanny dream.

_He was there with me. He held me like he always used to, rocking me back and fourth until all my tears were dry. His body was full of love and radiated warmth like how a candle gives off light. I desperately clung on to him for dear life, taking in his scent and cherishing his presence, every last second of it. _

_He moved his hand through my mess of red hair and lightly kissed the top of my forehead. Smiles and laughter burst from my body. His soft green tail tickled my back as it rubbed up against me._

_Before my eyes a beautifully lush sprawling field appeared. The shocking green pigment of the grass made the unbelievable blue hue of the sky pop out dramatically. The sun shimmered invitingly and repelled any clouds from blocking its beauty._

_Beyond the plains was a healthy patch of trees bearing fruits of all kinds. "I'll race you, Muarim! If you're up for the challenge…" I pressed. I hopped off of his lap and yanked him by his hand. _

"_Of course, my little one!"_

_I prepared myself for the race by standing in a readied stance. Muarim dissolved out of his human skin and into his natural beast form. _

"_Three…two…one…GO!" As I finished my words we both took off into a rushed sprint. I pushed my legs to move as fast as they possibly could. They burned with ferocity while we ran with each other side by side. The wind pushed any fallen strands of hair away from my face and a wide grin stretched across my lips. By the time we had made it to the trees, Muarim was well in front of me. _

_I hunched my body over and dropped my hands to my knees so I could catch my breath and slow down my racing heart. "I guess I'm not…faster than a laguz!" I let my body collapse onto the grass out of pure exhaustion. Muarim was much too fast for me to go up against. _

_As I sprawled out on the grass Muarim meandered toward me with a shiny red apple in his mouth. He hovered over me for a moment until he dropped the decadent fruit on my stomach. _

"_For me?" I asked. He laid down next to me and brushed his furry head against my flushed cheek. "Is this some sort of consolation prize?" Muarim released a low grunt and nudged the apple closer to me with his nose. I picked up the fruit and studied it in my hand. "Well…I'll take the apple but I don't need any sympathy because someday I'll be giving _you_ the consolation prize! Better watch out!"_

* * *

My eyes shot open and I found myself back in the same bedroom inside the home of the apostle, the only difference from before was the absence of pillows and wall hangings. The window across from me was boarded up where I had smashed it. I concluded that those things did happen and what had just occurred was only a dream…or an illusion of the mind.

"Sothe…" I muttered. The numbness was back and as debilitating as ever. It rendered me unable to turn my head so I could be sure my friend was still beside me.

"Right here," he said. He moved out of his chair and sat on the edge of the bed, where I could see him. He had a guilty look about him. Knowing that Sothe was still there, I patiently waited for the paralysis to disappear.

"Sothe…I don't want to be sedated anymore," I spoke.

"Then…just stay on your best behavior, okay?" If only it were that simple. Was I not allowed to grieve? Was I not allowed to mourn the part of my life that was taken from me? I wanted to 'stay on my best behavior' but I wasn't sure how. All I knew was that I didn't want to feel the numbness anymore.

"You'll make sure they don't drug me again, right?" With my eyes full of desperation there was no way Sothe could refuse. But even with that factor all was still quiet. Why was he not agreeing? Perhaps he didn't like having to console me when my emotions became so out of hand. The thought brought tears to my eyes…that maybe Sothe hated being around me while I was broken. "Please?" I was begging now.

"Well…alright. It' just…when you started hurting yourself that kind of drew the line for me. If you're sleeping then nothing bad can happen."

"I'm not hurt, Sothe. I'm fine." He scooted closer to me and moved the sheets away from my body. He then picked up my hand that was bandaged. Initially, I wasn't sure how the bandages had gotten there until I remembered throwing my fist through the window. The memory brought back the horrible stinging and burning of glass in my flesh. "Oh…yeah…I'll be more careful next time."

"There won't be a next time. Got it?" His voice suddenly became serious. Slowly, I found myself in control of my limbs again. The numbness didn't last for long, which made matters just a little more bearable. I sat up straight in bed and stared back at Sothe. My mind wondered for a moment what would have become of me if I didn't have him constantly slapping me out of my sorrows. As I stared at my loyal friend my eyes fell on his neck where he had the smallest of scars.

"Your neck is okay?" I asked with some worry. He nodded his head.

"Yeah it's fine. Don't worry about it. You took good care of me when you could…thanks." I was supposed to be dead days ago, but instead it was Muarim. I was so prepared to die so Sothe wouldn't have to, but instead neither of us were dead. Muarim took the penalty. None of it was fair.

"Sothe…why couldn't the healers save Muarim? They saved you…"

He sighed dismally and folded his arms over his chest. I could tell he wasn't pleased about being the bearer of bad news. "The others told me he was past saving by the time we got to the capitol. They estimated that he died sometime after you blacked out. But, I don't know for certain because I wasn't awake either." I felt almost a sense of relief after hearing the whole story. He didn't struggle to survive…he left peacefully with me like he wanted. _I know I won't make it home…right here…with you…this is a fine place…to let go. _I could still hear his voice loud and clear even though he was gone. The ripping sensation in my chest reappeared. Before the tears started to sting I made a request. "Sothe…I want to go to where he was buried. I'll never be able to let go until I can…be there and say good-bye for real…"

"Well…the apostle requested that you stay here until you're fully recovered but…I'm sure I could sneak us out of here unnoticed." For the first time in a while I broke a smile. I threw my arms around Sothe ecstatically and let my mind be consumed in bliss.

"Wow! Really? You're the best Sothe! Thanks!"

"Okay…okay…don't get _too _excited. We're gonna have to wait until late tonight. That window over there should be easy to hop out of. But you'll have to be patient. Think you can handle that?"

"Oh yeah! You bet I can handle it! I need a change of scenery anyway…this place is boooooring!"

The sun had finally disappeared and the moon rose in its stead. A feeling of self-accomplishment spread over me. I had gone the whole day without an episode of grief or rage. It was probably due to the fact that I was eager to behold the sight where Muarim was resting. Beforehand, Sothe told me Cade and the others had buried him a little ways off from our stronghold. Unfortunately, the trip to his grave would require a walk through the desert, but the temperature wouldn't be much of a bother to us considering the sun was not present. There was a strong possibility that it would be chilly, but desert nights often were.

While I crawled out of bed I finally took notice to the fact that the clothes I was wearing were not my own. They were simple white night garments with nothing too special about them besides the smooth silkiness of the fabric. I wondered what came of my real clothes. I shuddered as I realized they were probably permanently stained with Muarim's blood forever.

Before we snuck out, Sothe intently picked at the screws that bolted the planks of wood over the broken window we intended to slip out of. He dug his pointy knife under every screw until the wooden planks fell and the dark night sky was revealed. While Sothe cleared our exit I slipped on my boots that were still in existence.

I briefly glanced out the window to see that stars were twinkling in abundance and the luminescence of the moon caused me to squint. A cool gale whistled through the window and rustled the velvet drapes.

Sothe stuck his head out of the opening and observed how high up we were. He estimated we had to drop only about two stories. Sothe made his way to the bed that had been holding me prisoner and stripped it of its sheets and spare blankets. He tied the sheets and blankets together securely to create a long rope. He threw the rope of sheets out of the window and waited for it to hit the ground. He stared down and shook his head frustratingly.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"It's too damn dark. I can't tell if this rope is long enough," he said. I grinned as I thought of a way to help him. I lit a tiny flame in the palm of my hand that would be just enough to illuminate what we needed to see. The heat of the fire tingled my skin in a comforting way.

"Does this help?" We both peeked our heads outside of the window. I held my hand out so my flame could light up our path. With the light of the fire we were able to see that the rope Sothe put together would be substantial for our flight down. He nodded in satisfaction.

"Everything looks good. Hug the rope as tight as you can and I'll lower you down." I hopped onto the windowsill and straddled the tied together sheets with my arms and legs. Sothe pulled forcefully on the rope so I wouldn't go plummeting down.

"Wait! How are you getting down?" I asked in a panic. The thought hadn't occurred to me until after he started lowering me down inch by inch.

"I'm going to tie the sheets to the post of the bed. Don't worry, I'll be fine! Just stay quiet and hold on tight." I took his advice and made sure everything was secure. It didn't take a while for my feet to touch the ground. I gave the thumbs up to Sothe with one hand and let a flame glow in the other.

Once we were both down safely I let the fire in my hand grow brighter. Our walk mostly consisted of silence. It wasn't an awkward silence; it was more a somber nothing-needs-to-be-said kind of silence. However, that changed once we started trekking through the sand. Even though Sothe was there, a wave of loneliness hit me. The desert was my home and it was ridden of the one person who made it home. Nothing felt right. Just living without Muarim seemed wrong and an incomplete feeling shook me.

Before we arrived at the burial sight I broke down for the first time that day. I stopped dead in my tracks and let my knees buckle underneath me. The idea of saying good-bye to Muarim forever was beginning to make me feel sick to my stomach. I punched the warm sand with my fist over and over again. The strangling sobs resurfaced and the aching of my heart was back and more agonizing than ever. "I can't…I can't do it! I don't wanna….I don't wanna say good-bye!"

In seconds Sothe was kneeling beside me. I hated being so weak that I couldn't even go a day without weeping. "We can turn around now if you want," he suggested. For some reason the idea didn't please me. At the point we were at it would almost seem disrespectful to show such weakness. But the sorrow was so intense I wasn't sure how to carry on.

"When's it gonna stop?" I mumbled.

"When will what stop?"

I cupped my hand over my mouth to mute the dreadful cries gushing from me. The thoughts were back…the thought that maybe I could just…

_Little one…I don't want to see…you again…any time soon._

"This feeling…when will it go away? I don't like it very much," I confessed.

"I can't tell you when it'll stop…but they'll notice we're gone before long. So let's just do what we came to do. We can make it quick. C'mon let's go." Sothe helped me to my feet although it wasn't easy. My legs didn't feel substantial underneath me so I mostly leaned on Sothe for the rest of the walk. I sniffed back my tears and saved them for later.

When we arrived any feeling of reality was gone from me. A lone stone stuck up from the sand. I knew that had to be Muarim's. For a moment I froze. Sothe looked to me with concern. His body was under the sand. _Muarim's_ body. My absolute worst nightmare was actuality. Sothe urged me forward and helped me down to the ground where I kneeled and wept my broken heart out. Tears flooded out of their ducts and all self-control I had prior vanished.

"Muarim…I don't know why this is happening…but for some reason you're gone. You left me…it was supposed to be me…this should be my grave. And now I have to live with this terrible empty feeling…it hurts so bad…and nothing makes it go away."

Sothe wrapped his arm around my shoulder to remind me he was still there…suffering with me. "I dreamed about you last night…were you really there? I miss you…I miss you so much…"

I rested my pounding head on Sothe's shoulder. "It's okay…I'm not going anywhere," he assured me. The drowning feeling was happening again. I grabbed onto Sothe's torso with terror coursing through my veins. I had more and more difficulty taking in a breath of air. Sothe was the only thing standing between me drowning and me staying afloat, above the burdens that threatened to pull me under.

For a second, I pulled my head away from my friend and gazed at the stone. "I love you, Muarim…and I don't think I'll ever be able to let go of you. So…I don't think I will…I'll just…"

The next thing I wanted to say I didn't want Sothe to hear. I wiggled out of his hold and politely asked for a moment alone. He agreed without any reluctance. When I was sure he could no longer hear me I whispered, "I'll see you soon, Muarim. Whether you want to see me or not."

* * *

When we both safely arrived back in the cathedral undetected I searched my room for anything lethal. As I looked about I noticed Sothe hadn't left me alone like I wanted him to. I wouldn't be able to end my misery with him in my way.

"Why don't you get some sleep? I'm feeling a lot better," I lied. He stared at me quizzically while my eager eyes darted off the walls in search of something…adequate.

"You didn't seem okay before. I don't mind staying up all night if sleep isn't going to be a part of your schedule." I let out a fake chuckle and grinned animatedly like I used to.

"Oh Sothe! Don't worry about me…I was about to get some shut eye myself. I don't need a babysitter." There was something about the way he scowled at me that made me feel like he wasn't buying a word I was saying.

"Sometimes I wonder…" he responded. If only I hadn't lost my cool before, he might have believed me when I said I was okay. I tried not to let his persistence bother me as I continued to scan the room anxiously. "What are you looking for? Lose something?"

I chomped down agonizingly hard on my lower lip. My face grew white from being caught amidst my searching. Was I really that obvious? Or was he just insightful? Either way, I had to somehow relax myself and let excuses come rolling off my tongue.

"Actually…y'know what, I _was_ looking for something, but I think I'm just gonna call it quits. It's really late and…well if you don't mind I think I just want to be alone…if you're okay with that."

"Well…if that's what you want…"

"Oh it is! Thanks Sothe, you're the greatest!" Before he stepped on the other side of the door, he looked back at me with uncertainty.

"I'll see you in the morning," he said. I waved him out and smiled affectionately like I actually planned on seeing him when the sun rose. _Sorry Sothe…but this is my only way out. _

"See ya!" I fibbed. In seconds he was gone and the door clicked shut. I breathed a sigh of relief now that I was finally alone. At last, I could continue my searching. For a while I rummaged aimlessly through everything enclosed in the four walls that surrounded me. I wasn't satisfied until I came across a brown glass bottle full of fluid to clean out wounds. It stood with a roll of bandages on a small chestnut counter beside my bed. I carefully screwed off the lid and dipped my nose closer to the opening and sniffed in its scent. I let out a reflexive cough upon breathing in the sharp scent of what smelt a bit like alcohol. I glanced at my bandaged hand and realized the fluid was used to clean out my scrapes and cuts. It was almost completely full. I knew ingesting something like that in a large quantity would lead to an imminent death. Therefor, it was exactly what I needed.

I snatched the bottle full of deadly fluid and sat with it on my bed that was completely stripped of sheets and blankets. The bottle was cold to the touch as I smoothed my index finger over it. I wondered if my death would be swift and painless or if it would be long and excruciating. Surely there would be some discomfort but I wasn't positive how much suffering I had in store until I took my first gulp. Immediately, I coughed violently upon swallowing the liquid. It burnt and scratched my throat as it traveled its way down to my stomach. The taste was horrid and surprisingly dry for a liquid. While I took in gulp after gulp it felt like the fluid was setting flames to my entrails. _This is what death feels like. _I somehow choked down my last swig without coughing half of it up. Soon, the bottle in my hand was empty and light and all I had to do was wait. Wait for death to find me and set me free of the burdens I carried.

To my extreme dismay, death didn't come quite so swiftly. I hacked and coughed viciously for several moments. My throat itched and felt intolerably enflamed. My lips were dried out and were beginning to crack. "Is this what you felt, Muarim?" I muttered to myself in agony. The scorching feeling made its way to my stomach and when it did I whimpered in pain and cradled my arms over my belly instinctively.

During my tremendous suffering I failed to notice that the door had swung open and someone was hovering over me like a hawk. I felt the empty bottle slip out of my fingertips and into someone else's.

"What is…? Tormod…HOW MUCH OF THIS DID YOU DRINK? Answer me!" Even with the flames setting fire to my insides I could still recognize the utterly infuriated voice of Sothe. I swore under my breath. How did he know to check on me? My only explanation was that he heard my incessant coughing.

He stared wildly at the empty bottle and then back at me. Sparks of horrendous fear danced in his golden eyes. I drew upon the little strength I had to finally answer him. "The whole thing," I replied.

"What the hell were you thinking? I knew I shouldn't have left you alone! Dammit Tormod! Throw it up right now!" He tackled me with all of his weight and sent me crashing into the headboard of the bed. He squeezed my shoulders and shook me madly as if moving me around would cause to me to regurgitate.

"No! Get off of me!" I snapped. Objecting was useless as he continued to crush my shoulders under his constricting grip and shake me more savagely.

"Throw it up right now!" He pressed. I shook my head like a stubborn child and tried kicking him in the gut. Before I could lift my knee up he pinned my weakened body closer to the mattress so I was unable to move.

"No! I won't! Stop asking!" I screamed furiously. He grabbed me by my shirt and shook me again with even more desperation.

"Tormod! You don't have to do this…things will get better I promise! But right now…ending your own life…will solve nothing! So please spit that shit up while you still can!"

"No! No! No! Can't you see that I want this? Just leave me alone! Go!" Warm drops of liquid landed on my forehead. At first glance, I thought I imagined the droplets of water. It wasn't until I took a double take that I knew Sothe was crying.

"I don't want to lose you…so throw it up right now or I'll make you do it. Your choice."

I wasn't about to give up my resistance. Although seeing Sothe cry almost made me feel a smidge selfish. But I had already chosen death when I picked up the bottle. There was no turning back.

"No," I said firmly.

"Fine then!" Sothe moved his hands away from my shoulders and toward my mouth. He used his left hand to rip my mouth open wide and the other to shove a finger down my throat. At first, I fought him and hastily bit down on his finger, drawing blood that tasted sweet in my mouth. He swore out loud but shook off the pain.

"Stop!" I yelled frantically. My pleas were hopeless. It wasn't long until Sothe managed to successfully dig his finger down my throat triggering my gag reflex. He took note of the green pigment on my face and slowly backed off of me. I quickly cupped both of my hands over my mouth before vomit flew out of my lips overpoweringly.

* * *

I couldn't quite recall how long the vomiting went on for. Half of the time I was almost hoping I would choke on my own vomit and die, but I wasn't so lucky. The back of my throat still burned and nausea took over all of my senses. When I had finally regurgitated anything that had been floating around in my stomach I began to feel unsteady. I most likely blacked out after that because the next thing I knew I was back in that bed with a throbbing headache.

Sothe was there…of course he was there. He would want an explanation. He would tell me how ending my own life wasn't the solution to grief. I could practically read his words off of his face as he stared at me in worry. He'd probably be angry as well because I lied. I said everything was okay when clearly I was covering up what was truly eating away at me. I even thought back to our fight in the desert where I promised him I would live no matter what happened. It was almost like he foresaw what I was going to do. How was it that he knew I was verging on death? He could have heard me cough but then again what did I know?

To my surprise, he didn't speak first. He just stared at me, like I was a corpse lying on a bed. His eyes were full of sadness. But how could he possibly feel the pain I felt? His gloom sparked my interest. "Are you gonna stare at me all day or are you actually gonna say something?" I spoke. My voice was a bit dry and gravely.

He sighed frustratingly and rubbed the temples of his head. "I don't know what to say. You're the one who should be talking. Tell me…tell me what the hell you were thinking. I thought we were done with…this." He referred to our promise we made.

_"Tell me…you want…to live…" he managed between gasps for air. "SAY IT!" he shouted zealously._

_"I don't want to die anymore!"_

The circumstances were different. Surely he understood that. There was hope then, but what was there now?

"What do you mean what was I thinking? Isn't it obvious? I want to die; I want to be with Muarim. We promised no one would ever separate us again…we made a promise!" Tears began to well up in my eyes when I thought of the last moments I had with Muarim. Moments I would never let myself forget.

_"Muarim…I'm so happy you're okay. I'm sorry…I'm sorry I couldn't stop them from taking you…no one is ever going to separate us again."_

"Muarim would never want you to do something so…. permanent! I know you don't want to hear this but Muarim died so you could live. Don't waste his sacrifice!" Why did he always have to word things so convincingly? It wasn't fair; he could never begin to understand the emptiness that continued to grow. He would never know. But I would never want him to feel what I felt. That would be something no one deserved.

"But I…I just want him to come back…I don't want to be sad anymore. I'm tired of it. Time is supposed to 'heal all wounds' but it's not working for me! That's the biggest lie ever told!"

"That doesn't mean a few days, Tormod. You're hurting the most out of everyone right now…I know. But you haven't lost everything…and you know….I wish so badly that I could bring Muarim back but we both know that's impossible. He died for you and he wouldn't want you to be perpetually sad. He'd want you to be happy…like you used to be." His words almost echoed what Muarim told me before I lost him forever. He spoke about happiness and never leaving my friends. It was so simple to say but so difficult to actually do. I wasn't sure if happy was something I could ever be again, even if Muarim wanted it.

_"I want you…to…stay close…to your friends…always. Don't push anyone…away…be…happy."_

"Easier said than done," I responded blatantly.

"Can I tell you something?" he asked. I nodded my head curiously.

"What is it?"

"What would you say if you found out I knew Muarim was going to die?" My heart sank and my eyes bulged with impending interest. Sothe swallowed nervously before continuing. I couldn't reply just yet. I needed to let him finish, let him tell me everything before I jumped to hasty conclusions. There had to be a reasonable explanation for such an odd question. "What would you do? If…if I just knew...well before the act." Why was he saying such preposterous things? Was he going mad? I couldn't take his question seriously because there was no way such a thing was possible but he was still itching for a response from me, so I gave him a completely honest one. If that was even the slightest possibility…what would I say…what would I do? I knew exactly what I would do.

"I'd tell you to get the hell out and never talk to me again," I replied frankly.

"I figured as much." So what was the point? What was the point of asking such a ridiculous question? It couldn't be true…could it?

"Sothe…what's going on?"

He stirred uncomfortably where he sat across from my bed. He ran his hand through his hair nervously and his complexion was growing paler by the moment. What was going through his mind? He radiated guilt like how the sun gives off its warmth. One deep breath later he spoke. "I can't keep this from you anymore…I knew well before everything that Muarim was going to die. I didn't know exactly how or where but I knew….I knew and I didn't tell you."

Silence. It filled the gap between us. I couldn't feel anything but complete and utter denial. It wasn't true. Such things weren't possible. "There's no way you could have known. We knew it _could_ happen…but none of us knew for sure. Not even you. Please don't joke around about that."

"I'm not joking." His face showed no sign of humor while my breaths wavered with doubt. Confusion loomed through my thoughts like a cloud of thick smoke. "Someone told me…about you and what would happen if…and…I…I think I've done something terrible." There was so much fear in his voice that it became overwhelming. He had difficulty forming comprehendible ways of telling me that he knew Muarim's fate well before it was attained. All I could do was stare. My mind was going blank. "I didn't know who he was...he was like a dark shadowy figure…I didn't even know where he came from…at first I thought I was just dreaming until he started talking to me like we knew eachother. That was when he started shouting Muarim was going to die and if he died then you would die too. I thought I was going crazy! I didn't believe any of it! I mean, how could I? But then he told me where you were and I knew you needed my help. So I came…and that day…everything you told me…the way you acted…it was like that entity knew every single thing about you!"

It was exactly as I had feared. Everything he was saying was actually making sense to me. The shadowy entity he was describing was most likely Devlin wearing one of his many ruses.

_"I had to do…what I had to do…to keep you safe," my shadow said._

_"Keep __me __safe? Muarim's the one who's in danger…or was in danger. I don't understand…"_

_"Yes but…I saw you…killed…shortly after…"_

_"You __saw __me killed? By who?"_

_"You," he said_

_"How do you…but…Sothe…"_

_"I know everything you know."_

_"But I didn't! Sothe…he…he…he talked me out of it. So…you thought wrong!" I snapped_

_"And how do you…think….he found…you?"_

All was so very clear to me then. Sothe had received a warning from Devlin the night I was thrown behind bars. Of course he was confused yet alarmed by what my shadow told him of me. Devlin knew me possibly better than I knew myself. He knew how Muarim's death would affect me. When his death was only a possibility he must have felt my loss of will to live. Devlin knew what I would want to do. He knew everything I knew. It even seemed he knew things before I even knew them. And somewhere within all of the mayhem before the execution, he told Sothe. I supposed it was an instinct for Devlin to sense his own life in danger. _I only die when you die brother. _He did everything he could to save Muarim for both of our benefits. Because in reality, both of our lives depended on Muarim's survival. But I guess it was just hopeless. Muarim was meant to die on that day because neither of us could stop it from happening. Perhaps fate really was something out of the bounds of control.

I was positive Sothe didn't know what to make of such a warning but despite the lack of understanding he heeded it. Nothing changed the fact that Devlin could sense Muarim's demise and therefor sense mine and further sense his own death. That knowledge gave him the motivation to use all of his power in order to prevent what must have been inevitable. After fully understanding the situation all I could think was, _why was I never told?_ It was like everyone knew, but me.

"You knew…the whole time?" I asked, just to be sure.

"That's right. I wasn't sure if I was going insane…so I didn't say anything. And even if I felt perfectly sane then…what good would I have done by telling you? Well that's what I thought but now…I don't know…I feel like I should have told you…"

I chuckled darkly with unnecessary loudness. "Yeah? You _feel_ like you should have told me?" Anger began to shoot from my pores. I could tell Sothe was nervous by the way he looked at me.

"I _definitely_ should have…but I didn't know how to do it! How could I tell you something like that? Especially if I wasn't completely sure the information was valid."

"That changes nothing! Sothe you knew! You knew and you didn't tell me! We could have figured something out…thought of a better plan…anything! We could have saved Muarim! He didn't need to die…Sothe…how could you? How could you do that to me?"

"Tormod! Just stop! What could we have done differently? I didn't know how he was going to die…but yes I am sorry I didn't tell you. You have every right to be pissed…but let's face it…sometimes things happen for a reason."

My face turned a brighter shade of red with each passing second. Rage caused my heart to race like I had been running for several miles. "Things happen for a reason? No! There was no reason for Muarim to die!"

"Yes there was!" he shouted back. "So you could live!"

Uncontrollable laughter swept me away. "That's a bit of a lost cause, don't you think?"

"It doesn't have to be." Nothing he was saying was getting through to me, nor would it ever. My mind was in a fit of fury, thinking straight wasn't something I could do. His reasoning did nothing in his defense. He knew Muarim was going to die and did nothing to warn me. I strongly believed there was something I would have done differently if I knew for sure I was going to lose Muarim on that awful day. Sothe had given me false hope and that was the worst possible thing he could ever do.

"Just go…get out! Go! I don't need you and I never have! A real friend…would _never_ keep something like that to themselves!" I could hardly breathe. What was I even saying? It was like my anger was manipulating my tongue to say hurtful things to someone who I thought of as a friend. But I couldn't stop myself. My hands were trembling with hate and I had to let it out. No matter how much I would hurt him and myself.

"Tormod! You can't be serious…you're not thinking straight…look I'm sorry…I'm sorry for what I did. But even if you hate me…I can't let you go through this alone! You can't handle that pain all by yourself! No one can!" His argument went in one ear and out the other. Listening to him was useless. I had already made a decision to suffer alone. I didn't need a liar comforting me…telling me things were going to be alright when they most certainly were not going to be.

"Sothe! Shut up! You _knew_! How could you keep that from me? Does the word friends mean anything to you?"

"Oh please! What would you have wanted me to say? Muarim's just gonna die anyway so let's not even bother? Would you have rather I said that?" The way he spoke sent more unruly rage radiating from my skin. I couldn't even stop to consider that maybe he had a point. My heart-broken mind wouldn't allow it.

"I won't hear anymore from you! Sothe…you never wanted to be my friend to begin with. You thought I was insane. And y'know what…ever since Muarim le-left m-me…I'm starting to think that maybe you were right. I'm absolutely insane. I can't get these horrible pictures out of my mind and I don't need you telling me things are going to get better because that's not true!"

At some point I had fallen to my knees. I didn't want to look at Sothe's face because I knew if I did then I would feel awful and second-guess my course of action. So I buried my face in my hands where I felt safe inside the darkness. _If I can't see it then it's not there_, I told myself.

"Tormod…" I couldn't take it. I couldn't listen to him fight with me anymore. His voice was so thick with sadness and I wouldn't have any of it.

"Sothe…get out. Please just go…we can't be friends anymore." I really said the words I never thought I'd hear myself say. "Muarim was the one who wanted me to have beorc friends…but he's not here anymore so I don't need to worry about making him happy. I don't need you as my friend…I don't need anything. Why don't you go find that important person you were looking for? Go to someone who actually needs you! Because I sure as hell don't want you around me anymore! " I knew I hit a nerve, but I still refused to pick my head up and look into his hurting stare.

"Wh-what? But…hey…you don't mean that. You're not thinking clearly…" His voice cracked as he spoke. I found it to be shaky and dejected.

"No Sothe, I really do mean it. GO." I couldn't be any clearer as I spoke with a loud and clear voice. When all Sothe did was stand his ground I stood up as well. I avoided looking into his honey colored eyes and immediately searched for the empty glass bottle of the burning liquid I had consumed. It was exactly where I had last had it, on the surface of the bed.

"I don't want to go. I can't leave you like this! You'll go off and hurt yourself or-"

In a split second, before he could finish speaking, I sent the glass bottle flying towards him. He immediately ducked down just before the bottle smashed into his face. Instead, it went crashing into the wall behind him, breaking into several little pieces of glass. "I SAID GET OUT!" I knew my voice would be loud enough for others to hear. It was only a matter of time before my destruction would be discovered. "I don't want you as my friend anymore!" For some uncanny reason tears were threatening to fall from my wild eyes. I couldn't understand the feeling of sorrow that was eating at me because all my pent up anger was finally being released.

Without a second thought I snatched a glass vase from a short round table beside the bed. Inside the vase was a dying flower that was beginning to turn brown as its leaves fell from the stem dismally. I hurled the vase toward Sothe and to my extreme displeasure he dodged another blow. The vase shattered into the wall and exploded into tiny glass fragments, decorating the floor.

"Why don't you leave already? Can't you see I don't want you here?" I yelled callously. Soon, the doors burst open and the man in the robes entered accompanied by a few female servants whose faces I didn't take much note of. Two sets of hands grabbed my arms and pulled them behind me. I thrashed violently under their hold until I was met with the familiar sharp prick to my neck. Before my eyes slid closed I caught a glimpse of Sothe. I wished I hadn't as soon as my tiring gaze wandered toward him. Tumbling down both of his red cheeks were fresh shining tears.

* * *

The next morning when I awoke and my numbness had faded I was greeted with the undeniable feeling of my already broken heart breaking into more bloody pieces. I was truly alone then. If Sothe had decided to stay he would have been there at my bedside when I roused. As to be expected, his presence was absent. Through the long dreamless sleep I took all of my anger I felt previously washed away. The only thing I could feel was utter remorse for the terrible things I said. I hurt him. And I hurt myself even more.

As much as I hated to admit it…the words he argued with were reasonable. But I was too blinded by own anger to see it. _And now he's gone…_With the recognition of my dangerous mistake, I exploded into hysteria. I cried not only for the fact that I lost my best friend but for Muarim as well because no matter who I blamed or what I destroyed, he was never coming back.

The stabbing pain in my chest returned. It twisted and burned worse than anything I felt prior. As I drowned in my own tears I knew Sothe was right about everything. I couldn't handle the grief on my own. It was too much for one person to bear. He was so willing to suffer with me but I pushed him away…just as I was warned not to do. _I want you…to…stay close…to your friends…always. Don't push anyone…away…be…happy._

Most of that day consisted of sobbing and sleep. There wasn't much else to do that I could think of. My mind was still a bit cloudy from the sedation. Although I no longer suffered from paralysis, my body was still weak and drowsy.

I settled myself on the mattress and stared up at the ceiling for quite some time. Old tears were dried up on my face causing an irritating itch underneath my eyes. If it weren't for the light tapping at my door I probably would have dozed off. My heart jumped as I wondered who was on the other side of the door. I even let the highly unlikely thought that it was Sothe creep into my head. It was unlikely…but possible. Maybe he hadn't entirely given up…maybe he would try and get through to me once more. And I would naturally tell him how sorry I was and how totally wrong I had been. _Sothe! I'm coming! I'm coming!_ With that in mind, I jovially hopped off the bed and quickly pulled the door towards me. The smile that was spreading from ear to ear vanished as I saw who was on the other side of the door. It was the man in the gray robes. I automatically assumed he was coming for another sedation. I wouldn't fight it anymore. What was the point? All it would do was put me to sleep, which I was doing a lot of anyway. But to my surprise, the expected prick to the neck never came. In fact, for the first time I heard the man in the robes speak.

"These are yours. They've been cleaned thoroughly," he said in monotone. He carried a stack of folded clothes that were the ones I had been wearing on the day of the execution. I assumed they were drenched in blood before they were cleaned. A cool shiver shimmied down my spine. I guessed it was good to have my real clothes back without the evidence of that awful day on them. The man handed me the stack of clean clothes. As he handed them to me a crucial thought crossed my mind. I absolutely had to get back to Emancipation Army. I wasn't in contact with anyone and it was unnerving. Even though I was hurting the most, they would be hurting as well. Muarim was their friend too after all.

"Um…thanks. Uh hey, would it be all right if I slipped out of this place? I really appreciate everything but I've got some friends waiting for me in the desert," I said in a hurry.

"You are the apostle's guest so it would be wise to ask her such a question. She has informed me that she wishes to speak with you. Please be ready for her presence and do show her utmost respect."

"Oh! She's okay? That's good…that's _really_ good!" Finally some good news. It had been a while since I heard any.

"Yes, she has made a full recovery. I'll take my leave of you now. Please be ready for the Empress."

"Sure thing! Thanks a lot…er…robe…man?" He rolled his eyes and carried on elsewhere. He certainly seemed emotionless…that was for sure. With him gone, I quickly changed back into my standard attire. Finally something that felt right.

For the remainder of the time I patiently awaited Sanaki's arrival. What would she say? The topics that needed to be discussed were endless. I silently paced the room as I waited. My pacing stopped abruptly when I heard the door creak open. As she stepped in, I hurried to greet her.

"Hey! Feeling better?" I asked. Her golden eyes glimmered with sympathy. She seemed to be taken off guard by the simple question.

"Me? Yes, I'm fine. I've had plenty of time to get back on my feet," she replied. I grinned and nodded my head in approval.

"Good to hear!"

What happened next took me by complete surprise. Of all things for her to do, she kneeled on the ground and bowed her head so her hair covered the sides of her face. She then planted her hands on the ground. _The apostle is bowing to me…go figure. _

"Sanaki…what are you-"

"Silence! Please let me take full responsibility for all the grief that has befallen you. It was my Holy Guard that murdered your dear friend. Any apology wouldn't suffice but please allow me to take the blame. I couldn't stop them in time…and as a result you lost someone very important to you." It took me a moment to register what she was saying. She was kneeling to me and taking responsibility for something that was not her fault. It wasn't what I expected at all.

"Sanaki…I don't blame any of this on you. Trust me…I've been trying to find something to pin this all on but there is nothing. Nothing changes the fact that Muarim is gone and that I'll never hear him speak to me or call me his little one ever again. It hurts a lot knowing that…and it hurts even more knowing he died to protect me. Well…what I'm saying is that this is my burden to bear and you don't need take responsibility for anything." She picked her head up and looked at me with an apologetic glow. Her lips curved downward into a frown.

"No…but that isn't fair! Please just let me do something to show how sorry I am. I can give you anything you want. You're Emancipation Army is already put under my protection. But I could give you more…what is that you need? Money? Supplies? Please tell me!" Her voice was becoming so desperate it was frightening. As if things weren't odd enough with her kneeling before me now she was throwing money and things I didn't need in my face.

"None of those things matter to me. We get by well enough on our own. There isn't anything I need…but thank you anyway." I tried to keep my voice level but it was difficult. She really took me off guard when she wrapped her delicate hand around my ankle.

"Please! Think of something! Anything! Anything to get this guilt to go away…" There was no point in pretending there wasn't something I wanted anymore. There was something. I knew what it was the second I saw her use magic. She was destructive and controlled. Something I was not.

"I want to be stronger," I said at last. Her brows pulled together in confusion.

"Stronger? How so?"

"When I saw you use magic I couldn't believe how dynamic you were. You're…you're amazing…teach me how to use magic like that. Please teach me! I don't want to lose anyone ever again. I want to be strong enough to protect the people I care about!"

She stared back at me awe-struck. I waited for her to speak but she never did. Maybe it was too much to ask. After all, she was an empress. She probably had better things to do than teach someone magic. But when she failed to say even a single word, I tried another tactic. I outstretched my hand toward her. "All is forgiven if you agree," I added.

Her thin pretty lips stretched into a satisfied smile. She placed her warm hand into mine to show her acceptance. "Very well. I will teach you all that I know and then some! You will stay here and we'll train every day and night. That is….if you think you're up for it."

I helped her to her feet and scoffed playfully. "Bring it on, Empress."


	35. Chapter 35 Haunted

**Author's Note- (Important!) **I've returned from my prolonged disappearance! My apologies for not updating in well over a month...I travel quite a bit and school doesn't really help in the matter. Anyway...although I said this would be my last chapter, I lied. I was working on one gigantic chapter for so long that I finally came to the realization that my one chapter was absolutely ridiculous in length. So...I split that jumbo chapter into two normal chapters! And I do have at least one more chapter planned out. Just when you thought this story was over...I slam two more chapters on you with a third one on the way. Haha! Sorry for lying...but it just happened to work out this way! That's pretty much all I needed to say so...enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 35 Haunted

**3 years later**

As time went on the pain grew less and less. I wouldn't say it ever disappeared completely but it never got much worse. I had my good and bad days. My good days were when my emotions didn't get the better of me and I left a training session without a new set of burns on my fingertips. Sanaki would then say how I improved tremendously only for me to further disprove that by letting my feelings trickle into my magic and momentarily lose my sense of control. Those little fits of rage came and went as they pleased. I was never sure what exactly triggered them but I would sometimes find myself subconsciously housing flames in my palms. Whenever that would happen my mind was always elsewhere. It was like someone else was in my body controlling me.

On the bad days I would release those flames in wrath. I always wanted to stop myself but for some reason my self-control would vanish. All that would ever stop me from complete destruction was Sanaki calling my name out and eventually I would stop, with my heart beating wildly and my breathing growing heavier by the second.

I always found it odd that Sanaki was never angry with me for losing it. After several of these notoriously bad days we both did our research. I confided in her that both of my parents were spirit charmers. I also told her how Devlin came to be and what he actually was. With that information we would spend days at a time in her seemingly endless library, searching for an explanation for my lack of control.

It took time, but with a little dedication and hard work, we had a diagnosis. She explained it to me over and over again but it took quite a while for the truth to settle in. Through our research we concluded that my lack of control and ominous outbursts were caused by a spirit using my body as its host therefore giving me unrealistic strength. Of course, that strength was useless without having the control to be able to put it to work.

Time and time again I would tell her I was not a spirit charmer. But each time she would counter that saying in some rare cases a child can be born with such a rare trait. The fact that both of my parents were spirit charmers only added fuel to her fire.

"But I don't even have a mark!" I would argue. To her advantage she would always say that she saw one on my wrist before the attack. But, to my advantage, I would then say it faded when Devlin left his body. We constantly tossed this argument back and forth along with a bunch of other things we didn't understand. The only thing we could ever agree on was that some type of spirit was manipulating me.

Through the three years I spent studying with her we could only guess a spirit had invited itself into my body upon birth. It was still a mystery why the effects only started to become noticeable a few years ago.

Sanaki would always explain it as, "you were at a point where improving meant harnessing the power of the spirit within you. With that, you must have awoken it." In other words, to train meant to control the ravaging spirit inside me. That was pretty much what we spent most of our time on. Self control. It was so crucial and it was absolutely critical that I could master it with a spirit in my body. At times neither of us were sure if a violent outburst of magic was the spirit's charm or my own instability.

Of course three years wasn't enough to make me forget all about what happened to Muarim. I thought about it everyday and I assumed it was the source for my unpredictability. Sometimes I would still find myself weeping at the thought of him, but it was getting better.

Since I started training under the apostle I divided half of my time to be with her and the other half to my Emancipation Army whom I of course never forgot about through all of my troubles. Slavery became more and more scarce but there were always former slaves who we would offer a helping hand to.

After three years of training my skills doubled and my self-control was at last within reach. I could wield much more powerful tomes as well.

Over all of the time I spent with Sanaki I couldn't help but to notice her unrest with the senators. Something always seemed aloof with them but I wasn't entirely sure what it was. It wasn't really my place to ask her about such things so I kept my head out of her business for the most part.

One day when I insisted on practicing Sanaki refused and rather insisted we read tomes or other books related to magic in her massive library. I didn't mind her request too much at all. I liked being around her and the library allowed us to talk more than training would. It also appeared that she was stressed over something. For some reason I felt it was the senators' doing.

Once we were inside, tall chestnut shelves towered over us, each contained more books than the last. I couldn't even begin to count how many books of all kinds were stacked and stowed on the multiple shelves bordering the walls of the room. As to be expected we both had our faces buried in different tomes, both of our eyes skimming over the ancient language and being careful not to say any of the words aloud. We settled in a regal loveseat, passing off books to one another when we were finished reading them. Before long a hearty pile was forming underneath us and soon dozens upon dozens of tomes and other books littered the floor. There were enough so that the floor disappeared and all there seemed to be was an entire ocean of tomes.

I turned pages into the wee hours of the night. Being completely engrossed in what I was reading, I failed to realize Sanaki had fallen asleep until her delicate head slumped onto my shoulder. My face heated up as I noticed her purple locks of hair tickling my skin. Seeing her fast asleep also made me realize how tired I was too. We were ripping through tomes all day; it was bound to get tiring eventually.

I closed the fire tome I was reading and threw it into the growing pile of the other tomes, being careful not to move too much and wake Sanaki. When that was done I let my own eyes seal shut naturally out of weariness. The darkness felt good and inviting as I leaned my head back and let dreams seep from my unconscious mind.

_I was under the same apple tree I had dreamt about three years ago. The same sprawling field was in front of me and the same blue cloudless sky was above me. I was still out of breath from the race as if this particular dream was a continuation of the one from so long ago. _

_ Muarim affectionately rubbed up against my side, still in his beast form. I playfully twirled one of his long whiskers around my finger. Everything was exactly the same as last time. I still found the bright red apple in my free hand that Muarim had given me. The only difference was I felt the awareness that my surroundings would dissolve as soon as I awoke. With that thought looming over my head I breathed out a heavy sigh. _

_ "Y'know Muarim…things have been really tough since you left me," I began. He turned his head towards me with his golden eyes shimmering in sadness. "When I first found out you were gone…I didn't even know how to cope. I never felt so terrible in my whole life." He grunted at that and rested his head on my open lap. I stroked his warm soft fur. "You're gonna be mad at me but…I even wanted to die at one point." He growled softly but other than that remained mostly still and silent. I stroked him some more. "But I never got away with it…not with Sothe always on my case. He was such a good friend…I miss him." He picked his large head off my lap and gave me a questioning look. "Now you're really gonna be mad at me…I haven't spoken to Sothe in three years. Can you believe it's been that long? Three whole years since I lost two people I can barely live without. Three years…" I trailed off becoming lost in my thoughts. _

_I never stopped stroking his soft green fur. His fur felt so pleasant under my hand. Muarim let out a low moan that sounded like it was intended to be a cry. "I wish you were real…I wish I wasn't dreaming…nothing ever feels the same, Muarim…not since you…"_

_ He picked his head up off my lap and took a few steps away from me. He then closed his eyes and dissolved into his human form. As he did so, the dream felt less like a dream. I liked talking to Muarim when he was transformed but now that he wasn't, our conversation would be more personal. He sat down next to me like he had before, with both of our backs leaning against the thick trunk of the tree. _

_ "I am real," he said. With that, he grabbed my hand that was still so tiny in his. I wanted to cry…I could even feel the tears fighting their way out of my eyes but I wouldn't let myself. I knew no matter what Muarim said, he was still just a memory within a dream. _

_ "No, Muarim…as soon as I wake up you'll be gone. I hardly classify that as being real," I countered. My melancholy was easy for him to sense because as soon I as I finished speaking he lifted me up and embraced me just as lovingly as he always used to. _

_ "I'll always be looking out for you, little one. I'm never gone from you…_never_. You just need to look." Just as I was beginning to embrace the shred of happiness that was within my dream, my image of Muarim slowly started to fade away and soon the lush landscape behind him also became engulfed in darkness. _

_ "Muarim! No! Don't go! Not again! Muarim!" I reached out for him relentlessly but my efforts were but a waste because he had already disappeared. _

I awoke with a loud gasp and a slight jump. I looked over my surroundings and found that Sanaki was no longer at my side sleeping as she was before. Instead, I found her collecting tomes that were scattered on the floor and putting them in their rightful place on the bookshelves. When she felt my eyes on her back she quickly turned around.

"Guess I dozed off for a second there," I said in slight embarrassment, hoping she hadn't noticed my jumpiness. I hopped off the love seat to help her scoop up the remaining tomes but before I could help she stopped me.

"I've got it," she said abruptly. I pulled my hand away from the tome I was grabbing.

"You sure?" I asked in confusion. She nodded her head in return. "Is something wrong?"

"No, why would there be?" I shrugged my shoulders in response to her question. I watched her as she meticulously slid the last tome between two other books on the shelf. It was silent for a few moments after she was done putting away the final book. When she turned around to face me she quietly mumbled, "you talk in your sleep…"

Color rushed to my cheeks. I started to imagine possible things I could have said. Despite what it was that I had said the feeling of embarrassment was still ever present. "What did I say?" I finally spoke.

She took a few unsure steps closer to me, all while avoiding my gaze. It had to have been very late at night because the only sound I could hear was my own unsteady breathing. "You were calling out for your departed friend…and you kept shouting 'don't leave me' over and over again…I should have woken you" she admitted shyly.

None of it came as too much of a surprise to me. Of course, such things did show my apparent weakness that was still present. It had been a while since I dreamt of Muarim but that did not mean he wasn't in my thoughts every second of the day. He would never leave them…that much I was sure of.

"Oh…sorry I probably woke you up. Well…it's late anyway, I should go. I'll see you later!"

I made my way to the door slowly because a silly part of me was dying to tell her everything. Because it would make my burden that much more bearable with someone to listen to me. But, I never did ask her for such things because I knew she would end up feeling guilty for my pain. Sometimes it was because of that and other times it was because I simply didn't want her to know how much Muarim's death still hurt me even after three years, it hurt more than anything.

"You'll…be okay?" she asked apprehensively. I stopped my gradual walk out the door and turned to face her. She looked concerned and uneasy as she restlessly ran her fingers through her long silky hair.

_I don't know if I'll be okay…I never know anymore. Sometimes I feel all right and then something reminds me of him and I'm back to where I started from. _That was what I wanted to say, but didn't. Instead, I feigned a smile and chuckled lightly. "Yeah, I'll be just fine! Don't sweat it! I was just…having a weird dream…nothing to worry about!"

"Is that so?" She came closer toward me so we were not even an arms length away from each other. She tilted her head up slightly, since I was the taller one out of the two of us.

"Yep, sure is," I replied. Suddenly she grabbed my hand that was resting at my side. My cheeks burned immediately and a fluttering feeling filled my stomach.

"If you need anything…don't hesitate to ask." She gently squeezed my hand to let me know she cared. The warmth in her palm gradually spread to mine and a slight smile forced my lips to curve. I held her tantalizing gaze for a few more moments until I slid my sweating hand out of hers.

"Nope…I don't need anything…. but thanks! I'll see you later!" I said once again as I spun around and found my way to the door. With more heat rising in my cheeks I decided it was a good time to leave. Before I was completely out of her sight, she stopped me again. Light footfalls and a soft voice stopped me in my tracks. When I turned back around she crashed into my arms pulling the breath straight out of my lungs.

"Don't _ever _try to lie to me. You're very bad at it," she whispered. I didn't fight the comfort she tried to give me. What was the use? Initially I was hesitant to wrap my arms around her but she was right, I was a liar and apparently a bad one at that. "You don't mourn your friend enough," she added.

My eyes bulged in surprise. Was she asking me to pump out tears? The thought frightened me. Once again, showing weakness after spending so much time becoming stronger scared me more than anything. Especially in front of her. "I've cried plenty. More than I ever want to for the rest of my life," I said truthfully. _Just not in front of you. _

"Being strong isn't hiding what you feel."

I chomped down on my lower lip, wondering how she knew of my fear…my fear of being weak. "No? Then what is it? Wallowing in sadness for eternity?"

"No. It's being brave enough to accept the fact that you're hurting and having enough guts to tell someone who can help. There's nothing strong about hiding." I exhaled deeply at her words that frustrated me because they were true.

"I guess I'm still a weakling then."

"It doesn't have to be that way." I'll never forget the sincerity in her eyes and the way she lifted my burden with a few words. I almost didn't want to leave her side but it was only proper for me to do so, especially at such an hour. After that night I made the decision to be more open with her than I ever had before.

* * *

Back home all was quiet except for the quiet breathing of my sleeping friends. I made sure I was extra careful not to wake them as I tiptoed under my covers and nestled myself in for the night with Muarim's words still echoing in my mind. _I'll always be looking out for you, little one. I'm never gone from you…_never_. You just need to look. _Just as my head hit the pillow I was immediately dragged into a deep sleep where I was met with another dream.

_I found myself alone in the green meadow. Muarim wasn't under the tree like he had been before. It was only me, at least that was what I let myself believe. A quiet voice somewhere off in the distance grew louder and louder. I recognized the voice…and I knew it had been a very long time since I heard it. Eventually the voice grew loud enough for me to understand it. _

_ "Tormod! Hey!" it yelled. It took a second for me to process what it was saying until I felt a warm hand relax on my shoulder. "Tormod…" it spoke, seemingly out of breath. I quickly spun around to be met with the face of the friend who left me so long ago. His green hair still a mess in his face and his golden eyes still twinkling as bright as ever. _

_ "Sothe…? Sothe!" I couldn't believe my eyes. All I wanted to do was shout out a million apologies at once and hug him so hard that he'd be begging for me to let go. But something rendered me unable to do that. The twinkling of his eyes burnt out like a candle and it was replaced with something else…sheer undeniable pain. His face grew white and he let out a shaky moan. "Sothe! What's wrong? Are you okay? Talk to me!" I grabbed him forcefully by both of his shoulders and held direct eye contact with him so he would stay focused. Suddenly he wrapped his hands around his abdomen and cried out so terribly that I felt a shiver roll down my back. "Sothe?" I pulled at one of his arms that cradled his stomach and gasped at what I saw behind it. Vivid red blood escaped from a gaping wound. The blood gushed freely like water running down a waterfall. I didn't know what to do or what to say. My mind went blank and it was like I forgot all the healing spells I had learned. _

_ "I…I...help…please…" he muttered in fear. My hands and arms trembled as he collapsed into my quaking body. I could feel the heat of his blood oozing into the fabric of my clothes. _

_ "Sothe…what are you doing? Cut this out now!" I barked. He picked up his head like it weighed a ton and looked into my eyes so desperately I didn't even know how to react. He squeezed my arm with so much force that it caused me to grimace in discomfort. _

_ "Please….Tormod…." I lowered his body carefully to the ground and rested his head full of soft green hair on my lap. I eyed him up and down frantically as I strategized a successful way to mend his wound. It was so large and open that I trembled just looking at it. Instead of muttering a spell all I could do was take note of the bloody mess before me. "Tor…mod…hel-" He cut himself off with the spattering of blood from his mouth that shot out beyond his control. Dribbles of blood ran down his neck in two neat intersecting lines. _

_ The strong scent of Sothe's blood filled my nostrils so aggressively I had to resist the urge to scream in horror. I did the best that I could to swallow down my queasiness and chant a strong healing spell as fast as I could. Despite my numerous efforts his blood continued to drizzle steadily from his deep open wound._

_ "Nothing is working!" I yelled out in frustration. Sothe's agonizing stare found mine and it was enough to tie my heart into knots. Since my own healing remedies failed to show results, I would need somebody else's. "Help! Please! Somebody help! Anybody! Hello? Is there anybody out there? Help!" My voice seemed to echo as I shouted, gradually becoming quieter and quieter until it all but faded. I snapped my head around in every which direction to search for any signs of people nearby. But there was nothing to see beyond the rolling hills besides the line where the sky meats the earth. There was nothing. "Can anybody hear me? I need help! Hello? There has to be somebody out there!" I let go of Sothe for a moment so I could shout elsewhere and hope that my voice would reach someone's ears. _

_ "Little one…" came a not so distant voice. My heart jolted with relief because I knew there was only one person who ever called me little one. I followed the voice until I found Muarim standing silently next to Sothe who cried out piercingly in agony._

_ "Muarim! Thank goodness! We need to get Sothe help and fast! So shift right now so you can take him into town and get him a-" I stopped speaking when I noticed Muarim had brought his hand to his stomach. At first he just rested it there…and then after a few moments he clutched it fiercely, nearly tearing the fabric from his shirt. "Muarim?" He let out a low growl. It took a second for me to notice the shining red blood escaping through the spaces between his fingers. I put my hand on his and instantly felt the warm slipperiness of fresh blood. I hesitantly peeled his hand away from his stomach to see the exact same wound on Sothe, replicated onto Muarim. I couldn't hold back anymore. I jumped backwards and screamed violently with a tremor running through my skin. _

_ "I'm sorry…little one…" he mumbled before he crumbled to the ground next to Sothe, squirming and fidgeting in his pain. _

_ "WHAT IS HAPPENING?" I roared with trauma etched clearly on my face. Before I even had a chance to help Muarim, a strange feeling stung me in my abdomen. I keeled over like I was being punched in the gut. Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around the part of my stomach that was in pain. When I pulled them away to take a quick peek, I was utterly horrified. The same open gaping wound I found on Sothe and Muarim was now on me. I held my hands up in front of my face to see them painted red with my own hot and wet blood. _

When my eyes shot open I immediately moved my hands to my stomach. I pushed away my sheets and blankets that encased me and then began to fumble my way through the darkness. I whimpered quietly as I searched for some sort of salvation. "Cade….Cade…where are you?" I exclaimed, clutching my stomach even tighter. I pressed my hands against the wall so I could feel my way around until my clothing became entangled on something I could not see. I continued to move forward despite that, only to be rudely knocked down by something else in my way. I fell to the ground with a loud thud and a yell. "Cade!"

As I struggled to get up I could hear a resonant flapping of wings. "Little guy, is that you?" said Cade somewhere in the darkness. I didn't need to reply because he swiftly scooped me up and led me outside where the use of a torch almost was not even necessary. Between the white glow of the moon and the twinkling of the stars, it was more than enough to light up the sky.

Cade put me down in the sand and sat across from me with his legs crisscrossed. "Alright, what is it this time? I'm no healer but…is it a stomach ache?" He stared at my arms that were hugging my stomach.

"No, Cade! I'm bleeding!" I snapped back. He took a closer look and unwrappedmy arms from around my stomach. He raised one eyebrow upon looking and then lifted up my shirt where he playfully patted my bare stomach. "You're as dry as could be! Trying to pull one over on me, eh little guy?"

I eagerly shook my head. "No! I'm bleeding! I really am! Are you blind? Can't you see it?" Cade grabbed my hand and put it under my shirt. "Hey! What do you think you're doing?"

"Do you feel a wound or any blood?" I froze as I felt the skin around my stomach. It was smooth and soft and contained no traces ofblood. Not only that but to my surprise it was dry. No blood. No wound. Nothing.

"It was a dream…" I breathed. Cade lightheartedly shook his hand through my mess of red hair and grinned satisfyingly.

"Yup. You're smooth as a baby's bottom!" I couldn't think how it was only a dream but at the same time I was so very relieved. I was okay. Sothe was okay. And Muarim was…

"I thought…I really thought…ugh…" I rubbed my hand down my face. I thought I would be done with the nightmares…at least for one night but I just couldn't catch a break. Cade chuckled carelessly.

"You're one crazy son of a bitch, you know that?" he teased. I frowned at his joke and dropped my eyes to the ground. Sensing my displeasure, he draped one arm over my shoulder. "But…you're _my_ crazy son of bitch," he finished. I didn't give him any laughter of approval or even the slightest hint of a grin. I still found my hands shaking from the images of my nightmare. "Look…I know I'll never be able to be what Muarim was to you…but at least let me put a smile on your face." I didn't reply, instead I held my silence. "None of us ever see you anymore. You come home at night when we're all sleeping and then you wake us all up with your nightmares. Maybe if you spent more time with us…"

"I do spend time here…I'm not always with-"

"But you are! I don't think there's been one day where you haven't gone into the capitol just to see her. If you were with us more we could help you get through your rough patches. We understand how you feel a lot better than the Empress does! Muarim was our friend too and you seem to forget that."

A flame of anger was lit and I shrugged Cade's arm off my shoulder. "What do you have against Sanaki? She's done nothing but help us! Ugh, you're so ungrateful!" I shouted viciously.

"Help _us_? Don't be a fool, she's only helped you! With your stupid magic and things that don't even concern the rest of us! It's like we mean nothing to you." I bit my lip to keep myself from screaming at him to the full extent. I stood up off the ground and balled my trembling hands up into fists.

"Believe it or not, Cade, she actually has helped all of us! She put us under her protection incase you forgot." I could tell I hit a nerve when Cade's normally calm demeanor turned venomous.

"Ha! You want to know why she did that? So we wouldn't march up to her palace screaming 'murderer' with torches and pitchforks! It's called politics, there's nothing personal about it."

"She didn't kill Muarim! So stop it right now! Muarim died…because I was weak…and because of Sanaki…I'm not weak anymore and I'll never have to watch someone I love die because of me ever again! And to be perfectly frank she does in fact blame this entire ordeal on herself and quite honestly it kills me because I never once even considered putting her at fault." I couldn't control the now rapid beat of my heart pumping adrenaline through my pulsing veins. Cade narrowed his eyes at me in scorn.

"Pfft…please! You don't actually think she cares about Muarim being dead? And why would she? What was Muarim to her? Unless…oh for the love of everything…Tormod she's the Empress of Begnion!" I raised one eyebrow up in confusion and cocked my head to the side slightly.

"I'm sorry…I don't understand what you mean by that. Yeah she's the Empress, what exactly is your point? You can think what you want about her but if you say one more thing that isn't true…I'm leaving. She's my…she's my friend and I won't let you talk poorly of her."

Cade laughed and smiled stupidly, acting like he finally understood the situation. "Oh I see what's going on here…yep it makes perfect sense. Friends…right…got it! Look…we could stand here and argue all night or we could both go back to sleep. I'm up for either."

I sighed heavily and rolled my eyes. "I don't want to argue anymore either…I think I'll just stay out here and think for a little, if that's okay with you."

"Do what ever you want. I won't stay up with you all night until you fall asleep…although Muarim would probably tear me apart if he heard me saying that right now. Just…try to go to bed at some point, all right?" _He just had to go there_, I thought. With memories of Muarim beckoning me to sleep despite my usual restlessness, I solemnly nodded my head, afraid to speak. The truth was…the idea of falling asleep again had me a little uneasy. I feared falling into another nightmare. "I mean it. You'll regret staying up all night. If you need me…just give me a call. But not so loud this time," he said with a wink and disappeared from my sight.

I sat silently for several moments pondering whether or not I really did fail at giving my Emancipation Army equal attention. There was something about being with Sanaki that made me feel more secure than out in the desert. Until recently, I never talked of Muarim with her. Maybe that was why I preferred being there than home. She was an escape from the grief that still strangled me just as tight as the day I lost Muarim. When I was home…everything reminded me of him. Especially Cade…and everyone else. It was almost like it was their job to remind me of what I was without. I knew they didn't mean it…but they made me miss Muarim more than I would otherwise.

Nights were often cold and lonely since Muarim left. I knew I probably wasn't getting much more sleep but I figured I would at least lie down for the night. As I scooped myself off the floor and headed back inside my ears picked up on a not too distant conversation. I hid myself in curiosity and tuned in.

"…I don't know what to do anymore. Three years gone by and he's still like this! It's like no matter what anyone says or does he still grieves like it happened yesterday. What am I going to do with him? He can't carry on like this forever!"

"Cade…the boss just needs some time. He won't heal just like that. These things take a while. Maybe you're being too hard on him…"

"But he's had time! And he hasn't changed even a little…if he carries on I'm afraid of what might happen to him. It's not healthy! He barely eats…he doesn't sleep because he's afraid of his dreams…it's like he's better off when he's with the Empress than us." I pressed my body tighter to the wall and tried desperately to slow down my breathing, so I would not give myself away. My ears pricked up as the conversation continued.

"That's not true…we're his family. Shouldn't being around us be good for him?"

"Y'see I feel like we are having the opposite effect on him. Vika, we need to do something! Maybe send him away somewhere…I don't know! Something to keep his mind off things." Send me away? I nearly gasped at the proposition. They were trying to get rid of me…they didn't want me around. I began to feel my already shattered heart breaking into more pieces.

"I don't think getting rid of him would solve anything. He needs to be around his friends if he's going to get better."

"Think what you want…but I bet it would do him a lot of good just to spend some time away from us…away from this desert…away from everything that reminds him of Muarim. Some kind of distraction, y'know?" I wouldn't hear anymore of their absurd conversation. It was made clear to me that I was only their burden and that they were searching for ways to be rid of me. I figured I would save them the trouble and leave on my own. Before I left I quickly slid past the two of them to grab my Bolganone tome. It's all I was going to need to get by without them. Shock and surprise were fixed plainly on both their faces.

"Hey now boss…where do you think you're going so late at night?" asked Vika shakily, showing no doubt that she was taken off guard.

"The hell away from here," I replied bitterly as I made my way back to the dark night sky that awaited me. Vika looked nervously to Cade and he shrugged his shoulders in return.

"You're not going anywhere. Now get back in here and get some sleep," Cade demanded dryly. I shot him an icy glare.

"Are you sure that's what you want? Or would you rather send me away somewhere? And make it easier on yourself. Wouldn't that be more convenient for you?" Cade almost turned white as I used his own words against him. "Let me make it even easier for you! You don't need to ask…I'll just go. It's been great knowing you." Without a second thought, I ran straight forward as fast as I could so I would not give either of them a chance to convince me to stay. I knew either of them could easily find me with their sharp senses, but I prayed they would not. I prayed they would let me go and be done with it.


	36. Chapter 36 The Impossible

**Author's Note- **As promised here is the other chapter!

* * *

Chapter 36 The Impossible

I pushed my legs beyond their capabilities. I kicked up sand as my feet pounded heavily into it. Every grain of sand whipped the backs of my legs but I couldn't dwell on my discomfort. Somewhere far off I thought I could hear someone calling my name but I ignored it and pressed on. At first I was running blindly through the desert without any idea on where to go. But it didn't take me long to decide to visit the place where Muarim was buried. Perhaps talking to him would clear my head of all the madness that swarmed it.

I clutched my Bolganone tome tight to my side. The desert could sometimes be dangerous at night with thieves sometimes lurking in the shadows. Of course an enraged opponent with nothing to lose would hardly be a fair fight. With only the stars as my guide it took quite a while for me to find my destination. And it wasn't until I heard nearby voices that I realized I had arrived. Being careful not to be seen, I made myself invisible by freezing in place and crouching low. My heart jumped as I heard the unmistakable sound of a shovel digging into the sand. _What's going on? _

"Are we done yet? We've been out here all night and we still haven't struck a corpse. You sure this is a grave?"

"I don't know…the gray stone sticking out of the ground kind of gives it away. Of course it is you moron!" The shorter of the two males harrumphed in distaste.

"All I'm sayin' is that we've been diggin' for hours and have found not a single jewel! And if there ain't no body there ain't nothin' worth our while." The taller male ceased digging and stuck his shovel in the sand.

"For the moron that you are…I suppose you have some common sense. I guess you're right…there's no body which means nothing we can take. C'mon let's go." It was clear to me that I was eavesdropping on grave robbers. As I glared at them from afar I almost pitied them, they didn't have a prayer. It was a miracle that I hadn't subconsciously incinerated them already. They were going to pay for their disrespect to the dead and more importantly for disrespecting Muarim. Rage took me over uncontrollably and I could feel my skin turning a dark shade of red. I clenched Bolganone so aggressively I thought the tome would crumble in my hand.

"You're not getting away with this," I muttered almost silently. I watched carefully as the taller man yanked his shovel from the sand and beckoned his partner forward. Before they took another step I revealed myself from the shadows with a devilish smile on my lips. "Evening, gentleman," I said politely. The shorter man turned around to look at me and nodded his head. He stopped in his tracks and pulled on his companion's sleeve to bring his focus to me.

"What can do I do for ya?" said the shorter man. Although it was dark I could see the nervous bead of sweat rolling off his forehead. The light of the moon revealed his bearded face and short stumpy stature.

I carefully approached them, now that they had both stopped their movement. "Oh nothing…just figured I'd stop and _smell the roses_," I replied with a hint of humor in my voice. _If I'm going to drive them away, might as well have fun with it. _

The short man gave a befuddled look of astonishment. "But…their ain't no roses in the desert." I laughed mischievously and took a few steps closer to my prey.

"How very observant you are!"

The other man grabbed his companion's arm in frustration. "He's messing with you, ya twit! Now c'mon let's get out of here. I have a bad feeling…" I observed as the taller man led his partner away from me, but they didn't get very far. I jogged behind them and smiled again playfully.

"Going so soon?" They both stopped and stayed frozen in place. "I was hoping we could talk…but if you're in that much of a hurry…" The short man quickly spun around and vigorously shook his head.

"What'd you wanna speak to us about?" He asked with curiosity. I grinned in satisfaction.

"Wonderful! You choose the topic…it gets lonely out here in the desert…I'd love a quick chat!" It took everything I had to act lightly and not wring their necks. But I had to admit…I was beginning to enjoy myself.

The short man stared blankly into my seemingly innocent eyes. He looked around as if he were physically looking for something to say. "Er…what book you readin'?" I dropped my stare to my tome and laughed happily. The taller man eyed my tome suspiciously and upon realization of what it was, his eyes grew large.

"What a fantastic question!" I said cheerfully. The man's eyes lit up and he flashed a yellow and decaying smile.

"Ya think so?" he replied ignorantly. His companion gave me no chance to speak as he reached for his friends arm and began to scurry away.

"Quit talking to that boy! He's a mage! And a mage walking around in the desert at night means trouble for us!"

Again, I kept pace with them but this time without their realization. "A mage? Never heard of it!"

"By the Goddess you are dense!" I couldn't resist an audible chuckle as I listened to the grave robbers converse. Inevitably, my laughter reached their ears and both thieves turned around hesitantly. As they halted, I waved to them with a wide smile stretching from ear to ear.

"Hey there! I forgot to ask…did you find anything good in there?" I asked while pointing to the immense hole in the sand. Both of them bit down on their lower lip nervously. I could taste their fear just by watching their eyes grow bigger. "What? Is there something on my face?" They took two unsteady steps backwards until I finally dropped the innocent ruse I was playing with. I licked my dry lips and leafed through Bolganone to find the perfect spell that would burn them to the ground. "Do you guys like magic tricks?"

The short man clapped his hands together and nodded his head feverishly. "Ya mean when ya make stuff disappear with the snap of your fingers? Sure! I like magic tricks a whole lot!"

I laughed deviously. "Great! Then you'll love my tricks!" The man's eyes sparkled with wonderment. He leaned in closer to get a better look at me.

"What kind of tricks can you do?" he asked excitedly.

"Oh…a little of this….a little of that…nothin' special." The stumpy man looked at my open tome and then back up at me.

"I'll be the judge of that. Now lemme see these so called magic tricks!"

"As you wish…."

The other man wildly grabbed on to his companion and beckoned him to run. When he wouldn't budge he let out a long endless stream of curses. "Don't you get that he's not our friend? Get a move on! Run!" The stubby man crossed his arms in refusal.

"Not until I've seen these tricks of his," he replied.

"These aren't those kinds of magic tricks! He uses magic as a weapon, you fool! Run while you can!"

Despite his pleading, the round man stood his ground, awaiting my display of magic. Seeing no other option, the brighter of the two men finally tried to bargain with me. He kept his hands in the air and shakily walked towards me.

"What is it that you want from us? At least tell me before you do anything to us!"

In a split second I was holding the tall man by the collar of his shirt, trying desperately to hold back the urge to strangle him then and there. "I want to know who the hell gave you the right to dig up someone's grave? Have you no regard for the dead? Scum like you are the reason this world is so corrupt!" I spat.

"Whoa whoa whoa! Hold on there a moment! That grave was empty…there wasn't even a body. So technically…we've done nothing wrong," replied the tall man. I didn't believe him initially. How could Muarim's body just disappear? Things like that did not happen, they couldn't happen. _Dead bodies don't just walk away…unless they weren't there to begin with…_

"No body? You're insane! Of course there is one! What did you do with it? You sick disgusting worm…why would you take it? Is there no end to your ruthlessness?" My voice shook with wrath. The thought of somebody stealing a corpse sent me into a state of overwhelming rage.

"I swear on my life that grave was completely empty! Not a thing in there!"

"There's nothin'…just lots and lots of sand!" added his companion. I let go of the man's shirt and threw him to the ground with as much force as I could muster. He tumbled into the sand only to quickly rise up.

"I don't believe you…which is why I want you out of my sight! If you ever come here again…" I muttered a spell from Bolganone that caused the ground to quake and crack open with liquid fire spewing from the openings in the ground. I aimed it directly beneath the two grave robbers. They simultaneously yelped out in pain as their feet were singed mercilessly. They both cried in agony, unable to move away from the source of their torture. "I'll make sure this spell kills you both."

I turned away from their screams of agony, not seeing much point in watching them suffer. _They won't die…_I thought, _but it's enough to keep them away._ As scummy as they both were…_someone_ would miss them if they died. And that was a pain I could never wish on anyone…not after what I went through….what I was still going through. I couldn't think of one person who deserved such a heartbreaking emptiness.

Soon the fire beneath them burnt out and the two grave robbers fled with a set of new injuries to deal with. I slowly made my way to the now open grave where Muarim was supposed to be. I knelt in the sand and craned my head over the dark hole. I lit a tiny bouncing flame in my palm to illuminate all I could not see. I instinctively winced, not wanting to see the cadaver of someone I loved. But I soon realized there was no need for any flinching because the grave robbers had told me the truth. The grave was empty. Absolutely empty. Muarim's body was gone.

What was I to think of such a thing? How did bodies go missing? It takes many more years for a body to decompose and even if that were the case…a pile of bones would be left behind to show evidence of it. As I continuously thought about it something crucial crossed my mind and it almost excited me. I had never seen his body…. completely still and breathless. Before I blacked out…Muarim was talking to me trying to give me advice that I never did heed. And that was it. I awoke in Sanaki's home and was just told he was dead. Not many details were given because my broken mind wouldn't be able to handle them. I was only told certain things happened…but I never saw any of it with my own eyes. _Seeing is believing. _Suddenly, a fresh idea rushed through my head. What if I was being fed lies? What if…the information I was given was inaccurate? If I was being deceived…then where was Muarim? _He could be…alive. Muarim…could be alive. Alive! ALIVE! _

I tried to fan the flames of my excitement but it was difficult. Of course there were other more likely possibilities. I supposed someone could have stolen the body…although I could not think of a single motive for such a sickening act. But there were sick people in the world…that much I knew. The only thing I could think to do was rush back home and interrogate Cade for the information he hid from me.

* * *

I stood over Cade as he slept soundly. I kicked him on his side with my hard boot, not showing much kindness. "Get up!" I yelled. He began to stir and moan as he was awoken from his deep slumber. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and looked to me tiredly.

"What is it now?" he grumbled. I glared at him viciously, with my eyes narrowing in contempt.

"Where is he?" I snapped.

"Where's who?"

I scoffed aloud and laughed deviously. "Don't act like you don't know! Muarim! Where is he? What did you do to him?" His eyebrows pulled together in confusion. He stared at me in bewilderment.

"Tormod…you know where he is. Did you have another nightmare?" he asked carefully. I laughed carelessly and rolled my eyes in irritation.

"No! I ran away incase you forgot."

"Oh yeah…that didn't last very long." I growled in frustration and kicked him again on his side.

"I came back because I made a rather interesting discovery…" I then explained exactly what I had seen moments ago. Cade's jaw dropped in astonishment. He sucked in a breath of air abruptly. Before he let the shock completely take him over, he refused to believe my find.

"You're lying…" he said breathlessly, his voice still thick with surprise. I shook my head irritably.

"No I am not. I was going to accuse you of being the liar but now I'm not so sure…" His reaction was genuine. As soon as I denied my story being a lie, his eyes twinkled with hope. I could tell he wanted to smile, as did I. But I wouldn't allow my hopes to soar quite so high.

"How can that be…? How can he just disappear?"

I ran my hand through my smooth red hair. "I don't know…but I'm going to find out even if it kills me."

* * *

With thousands of questioning thoughts looming over my head, I made the decision to solve the mystery that morning. I wasn't entirely sure where to begin with my journey but I was certain that I wouldn't begin until I had Sanaki's honest opinion. After a quick breakfast and a change of clothes, I was ready to go to Sienne. With Bolganone in hand, I breathed in the hot moisture ridden air of the desert. The sun was still low in the sky, but I already got the impression that the day would only grow hotter. I quietly observed the mountains of sand that provided the most spectacular landscape, well at least for me it did. I wouldn't trade the warmth of the desert for anything. Of course to an average person the temperatures were too extreme, but to me it was perfect. The thought of snow falling over Daien skies sent shivers to my spine. _I never want to be that cold again. _Images of snowy mountaintops and chilling winds nipping at my skin caused bumps on my arms to form. "Sothe if you were here…you'd be laughing," I said longingly, thinking of how I missed my friend's presence dearly.

"Talkin' to yourself?" asked Cade jokingly from behind. His sudden company made me jump from surprise.

"You got me," I admitted with only a bit of embarrassment. He hit me hard on the back and chuckled.

"Normal was never your thing anyway." I laughed and nodded my head in agreement. "So…where are you headed to now? If you're going back to Karoo…let me come. It's far from here and a dangerous journey to go on alone."

"No…this is something I need to do on my own. But, thanks. I'm actually going to see Sanaki first. Just to get her opinion."

"Why am I not surprised? Well, I know there's no stopping you because you're too damn stubborn and I just don't have the energy for it. But, make sure you come home with an explanation. I know if anyone can get to the bottom of this it's you."

I was a tad shocked to have Cade's acceptance. But I didn't question it, I just took it gladly. I gave him my widest grin and pulled him into a warm lingering hug. "Thanks Cade…for everything." I hugged him tightly for a few more drawn out moments and then finally let him go.

"I guess we're on good terms again?" he said with a smile. I returned his smile and held out my hand to him.

"Friends?"

He took hold of my hand and shook it firmly. "Friends," he agreed.

"When I come back…I promise I'll be me again, okay?"

He ruffled my hair with his shimmering chestnut wings. "I'll hold you to that."

* * *

When I arrived in Sienne I wasn't sure what it was…but there was just this tense feeling in the air…like trouble was brewing. Inside the cathedral I could feel the unease as well.

The usual guard escorted me to where Sanaki was. As we made our way, I wondered what Sanaki would think of my discovery. I also couldn't stop thinking where this discovery would lead me. I didn't want to think that someone could have stolen a body in the middle of the night but I supposed such things were possible.

We stopped half way down a long hall way and the guard opened a door. He gave a salutation to Sanaki and quickly scurried off elsewhere. I recognized the room as the library where shelves of books towered over me like buildings. Sanaki sat at her desk in the corner of the room with her head resting on her hand. Covering the desk were stacks of papers that appeared to be documents and such. She radiated enough stress for me to take notice.

I casually walked up to her and cleared the cluttering papers off her desk in one clean swipe. I hopped up on her desk and laid there on my stomach, hoping to amuse her. She sighed heavily and gave me a disapproving look.

"Oh hey! Didn't see you there," I said cheerfully. She forced back a smile and dropped her eyes to the mess of papers on the floor.

"This desk is not meant to be treated as a mattress, Tormod," she said.

"Hm…I was wondering where the pillows were." I stretched out further on her desk and rested my head on top of my hands.

"Get down from there…look at the mess you made!" she scolded. As her lip quivered I knew she was holding back laughter and I made it my job in that moment to force it out.

"No thanks, I'm pretty comfortable up here."

She rolled her golden eyes and stood up from her chair, arms folded. "Do I have to force you down?" She asked. I gave her a frown and a sour look.

"I'd prefer if you didn't."

She bit down on her lip to hide her smile. Then, she yanked at my leg that dangled freely off the side of the desk. I was shocked by her strength as she sent me stumbling to the floor. It took me a second to collect my bearings and get myself on my feet again. Once I recovered, I stuck my tongue out playfully. "You truly are the meanest Empress who ever lived."

"And you truly are the biggest idiot who ever lived." There was a silent pause and I watched satisfyingly as a cute smile stretched across her pink lips.

"Thank you!" I replied with too much enthusiasm. She stared at me quizzically then gave up her fight to hold back her laughter. Her laugh was like a song…full of harmony and pleasant to the ears.

"That wasn't a compliment," she stated.

"Yeah? Well it's as close to a compliment as I'll ever get from you!"

"True," she agreed blatantly.

After a few minutes of idle chatter I was ready to give her the news of what I had come across. That was until she brought up something completely different. It was her concern over Daein. When I asked her why she was interested in Daien she told me of her own radical suspicions. She had no proof of it, but according to her the occupational Begnion forces were abusing Daien's fragile post-war state.

My thoughts immediately turned to Sothe. I hoped he was unharmed and was somehow trying to avoid this mess. "I know Daien was put under Begnion's control after they lost the war but…wouldn't that benefit them? I mean they couldn't possibly stand on their own without an heir to the throne..."

"It _should_ be that way, I'm not sure if you have noticed, but the senate is corrupt. And they are making the empire look like tyrannical oppressors. Bottom line…the senators can't be trusted…"

"So the occupational forces are strutting around like masters of the land without any regard for the people who call Daein home?"

"Something like that, yes."

_Sothe…I wonder what you're doing right now…_

"Is there anything we can do? I know the senators have as much of a say in this as you do but there has to be something we can do to stop this!" My voice became fiery because all of the talk about Daein kept me thinking about Sothe and how he was dealing with the oppression. _I need to see him…I need to know if he's okay. _

"I believe a liberation army has already been formed among the people. I've decided that I want to launch an investigation so I have my evidence. But before I announce one officially…I have a favor to ask of you."

"Sure, anything," I responded promptly.

"I want you and at least two of your best fighters to help this liberation army. I believe they go by the name…. the Dawn Brigade. Find out exactly what is going on and report it back to me. The information I know now is very limited but frightening nonetheless. Your help would be greatly appreciated."

My stomach fluttered as she asked me to take on such a responsibility. I was more than pleased that I could help her in any way. Of course the obvious reason I was so joyed by her request was the opportunity to find Sothe. I needed to make things right with him again…the past three years felt lacking because of our falling out. I longed to tell him how stupidly rash I was and how terribly wrong I had been about everything. I never intended to hurt him…ever. He saw me at my absolute worst…which was during the first few days directly after Muarim's death. Unable to handle the grief, I blamed my perpetual pain on Sothe. Somehow, I forced myself too see him as the antagonist who only wanted me to suffer. I was so blinded by my own sorrows that I couldn't even see that he was only trying to help me and save me from going mad. It wasn't until after he left that I knew I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life. Misery loves company as they say…

"Consider it done! When and where am I going?" I replied readily.

Sanaki breathed out a sigh of relief. "As soon as possible would be great. As for where…the Dawn Brigade is in need of more fighting strength so I would see you go to Umono, the largest working camp in Daein. There's no reason a Daein liberation army would not want to free the former Daein soldiers from that camp. I'm not completely sure…but it seems like a likely target and if they are not there, then you'll most definitely find traces of them along the way."

"Okay, but there's just one problem…"

"Is it too much?"

"No not at all! There's just…something I need to do first. It's a…personal quest."

Sanaki's eyebrows raised in intrigue. When she asked about my quest I told her all I had discovered from the previous night. "That certainly is odd. But what do you expect to find in Karoo?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Don't know exactly…but I just have this feeling that someone didn't just go digging for bodies. I feel like there's a whole lot more to this than what meets the eye. Call me crazy but…I think…I think that maybe Muarim is somehow-"

A delicate hand on my shoulder stopped me from finishing my thought. "Tormod. I know this isn't what you want to hear but I saw him dead. Many of us did…the likelihood of him being alive is so terribly slim...it's pretty much impossible."

"But more impossible things have happened! I used to have a double who could shift into anyone he's seen! Tell me the likelihood of something like that happening!"

"Yes but…people don't just rise from the dead! I'm sorry if I'm coming off as harsh…but it's the truth. And I don't want you to get hurt…"

"I really do appreciate the concern! But…this is something I need to do. It won't take long…I promise. Once I check things out there, I'll be on my merry way to Daein! You can count on me!"

She shook her head in defeat. My stubbornness was always one of my more beneficial qualities and I could tell that I was tiring her out. "Is there no convincing you to skip the detour through Karoo?"

I smiled ecstatically, sensing the overthrown tone in her voice. "Nope, I'm going one way or another. And if there is nothing suspicious going on I'll leave immediately. You have my word."

"Fine. In that case…there's something I want you to have." She moved to the door and then turned around as she noticed my eyes following her curiously. "I'll be back," she assured me. My mind raced as I thought of what she could possibly give me. A tome, perhaps? I supposed there were several possibilities and I wouldn't know what it was until she came through the doors again.

Time felt like it was going by very slowly as I impatiently awaited her return. Pacing back and forth no longer subsided my boredom, so I began to look through her never-ending collection of books.

Taken off guard, I jumped as Sanaki tapped me on the shoulder lightly. "Back," she said sweetly. I turned around to see a long chest decorated with regal designs and shocking colors presented in her arms. She pushed the chest towards me, motioning for me to take it.

"Is it my birthday and I forgot?" I asked, dumb founded. She giggled softly and forced the chest into my hands.

"No…it's just something you might need for your journey," she said. "It's not getting much use around here and I thought maybe it will help you." I flashed her a toothy grin.

"Well…let's find out if it will!" I carefully unclamped the silver clasp and lifted the lid away from the chest. It squeaked a bit as I opened it, signifying its lack of usage. When I had the chest opened all the way I gasped at what was offered before me. Resting on white silk cushion was a beautifully made mend staff. My eyes lit up as I took in the spectacle. I had never owned a staff of my own before and finally I had one…and such a fine one at that! "No way…" I breathed. "For me?"

Her pretty pink lips stretched into a pleased smile. "Yes of course! Do you like it?"

Excitement and happiness bubbled up inside me with great aggression. I was just about ready to start bouncing up and down, thinking of all the people I could help. With the help of a mend staff, I wouldn't have to put a heavy strain on myself to heal injuries. _I'll never have to watch anyone suffer again…because I can really help. I can help…_

"Do I like it? I think I'm in love…" I gazed adoringly at the staff and then back at her. Her cheeks grew rosy and her eyes seemed to bounce with confusion. "With this staff! I mean look at it…wow! I've never had one…ever! I've used some of Rhys's but those were his staves…and now I've got my own. I swear I'll use it well!"

Her appealing smile shrunk as she let out a disappointed sigh. "Oh…that's very good to hear." I meticulously removed the staff from its resting place inside the chest and held it up in the air. I admired the glowing sapphire orb that sat on the tip of the staff.

"You're so beautiful…" I whispered. Again, I noticed the out of place rosiness on Sanaki's cheeks, wondering what was causing such a cute reaction from her. "Yes you are…my little staffy! The most beautiful staff there ever was!" For a second I thought I heard Sanaki grumble something, but it was almost inaudible. After observing the astounding quality of the staff, I warily placed it back in its chest and set it aside on a close by table. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Tha-"

"That's enough…I understand. You are very welcome." On a spur of the moment I decided to tackle her with hugs until she was gasping for a breath.

"I'm so happy I could kiss you!" I exclaimed. Her body stiffened in my grasp.

"Wh-what?"

I laughed carelessly and loosened my tight grip on her. Her liquid gold eyes caught my attention, as they always did. "Haha! It's just an expression, silly!"

"Oh…" A flush of embarrassment turned her face a crimson red. I couldn't help but to giggle at her oddly endearing reaction. I pulled her into another affectionate hug because a gut feeling told me I would be gone for a while.

"Thank you," I said gratefully. "I guess this is good bye…for now anyway." I pulled her in a little tighter and rubbed her back warmly.

"Let me get you any food you'll need for your journey. At least enough to get you to Karoo," she offered. Before I could object to her unnecessary kindness she had already detached herself from me and started towards the door. I was definitely going to miss her…but then again I wasn't sure how long I'd be away or what kind of trouble I would find myself in.

It wasn't long before she came back with a large canteen of water and a bag full of food. "You didn't have to do that…" I began.

"Don't think anything of it," she replied. I knew then I was ready to go. The

only thing holding me back from leaving was myself at that point. For one last time I took in her impeccable violet hair and her penetrating golden eyes. Her skin was flawless and her lips were so beautifully pink I could barely stand it.

"Well…I guess this is it. Try not to cry too much after I leave," I said jokingly. She giggled in amusement with her perfect smile stretching wider by the second.

"I'll try not to. But promise me you'll be careful and take good care of yourself." I laughed at her request.

"Oh please! Being careful is my middle name…. s."

"Hmm…we shall see."

We walked quietly together towards the steps of the cathedral that led to the wide hustling streets of Sienne. Again, the feeling that it would be quite a while until I returned struck me. Sienne itself was never my home but over the past three years I found myself spending just as much time there as I would in the Grann Desert. It might as well have been home at that point, but nothing was grander than the desert in its entirety.

The sun was still rising, with small traces of orange brush strokes still lingering in the sky. A low buzz of people passing by and chatting to one another filled my ears. The mind-blowing sight of structures towering so high above my head still had me in awe, the way they surrounded me on all sides, as if it were a shield of protection.

Suddenly, a pleasant voice disrupted my thoughts. "You know…you really shouldn't travel to Karoo on your own. Were none of your companions willing to go along?"

I smiled and shook my head. "They'd follow me anywhere but I asked to go alone."

She sighed exhaustingly. "Of course you did…"

I took a few reluctant steps down off the small staircase. I made the dangerous mistake of looking back and beholding her delicate yet sorrowful face, with her eyes down cast and her lips in a frown. I extended my hand out to her and she grabbed onto it nostalgically. She took a few steps down so we were level once again but this time hand in hand. "Hey if it makes you feel any better, I'll try not to get myself killed," I suggested awkwardly.

"You will do more than try. Never neglect your own limits…especially in a battle." I looked at her curiously, wondering what exactly was going through her mind.

"What makes you think I'll be in combat?" I asked.

"Nothing in particular…but travelling on your own could call for it."

"True…in that case I'm glad I had such a great teacher! I know I'll be fine…with everything you taught me and my pal Bolganone here…nothing can stop me!"

She tucked back a strand of hair nervously and began to blabber ceaselessly about any unlikely hazard I could face on my way. Her argument ranged from the dangerous animals of the desert to the desert's sometimes deadly climate. After a while, the jabbering tired my attention span.

"You know of all the locations of the oases, correct?" she questioned.

"Yes, Sanaki."

"Don't ever use the dunes for navigation," she warned.

"I'm aware…"

"Make sure you're aware of thieves and looters once it is dusk," she cautioned.

"Uh-huh…"

"Do you have enough supplies? Should I get you more?"

"Nope, I'm good."

"Shield yourself from the sun as best as you can."

"Sanaki! I've lived in the desert all my life. I know all this stuff!"

"Yes but when you travel alone you're more subject to-" I cut off her incessant driveling with something I never would have dreamed of doing prior, but in that moment I thought it would be the only way to silence her completely. I blocked off the speech of her mouth with my own lips sealed against hers, closing out the nonsensical words she wanted so desperately to say. I quickly detached my lips from hers out of the sheer need to catch my own breath and the grave realization of what I had just done. I considered running away at that point, with the fear of what she might say clawing at my back. _Why did I do it? Why did I have to kiss her? _Regretful thoughts scrambled through my head. But when I dared to take a peek at her face I was beyond delighted to see her cheeks growing rosy and an uncertain smile forcing its way to her lips.

My skin heated more intensely than any fire spell ever could. My stomach flipped and fluttered nervously. I couldn't help the fact that my eyes were bulging and it was beyond noticeable. I parted my lips to force myself to speak, but nothing I could think of would take back what I did. The sudden urge to bolt replaced my fearful nerves.

I acted on a whim and gently patted Sanaki on her head. "Enough time wasting, eh? I'm off!" And without another word I turned myself around and made haste to the massive expanse of the Grann Desert.

* * *

Not even the blistering heat could keep my mind off of the tingling in my lips or the flips in my stomach. I played the scene over and over again in my head, in hope that by the time I returned to Sienne I would have a decent excuse for what just happened.

My overly analytical thoughts kept me more than occupied for my entire trek to Karoo, so much so that I forgot about my need to eat. It wasn't until an angry growl came and interrupted my thoughts that I knew it had been too long since my last meal. Even though my body demanded it, it was rare for me to obey my grumbling urges. The constant unease in my stomach left the entire eating process almost completely unbearable and cumbersome. Ever since that day three years ago…I found myself eating only when the other option was to lose consciousness. Food often made me nauseous, but most of the time I was without much of an appetite anyway.

I hesitantly cracked open whatever food I had packed and nibbled at it only to calm the beast that constantly roared in my stomach. After a few bites and a few uncanny thoughts I packed the food away for later use. I took a few sips of water to cool off my overwhelming reflex to gag after eating. Soon, as the sun rose higher in the sky, a few sips became mouthful after mouthful.

Feeling the merciless rays of sun beating on the top of my head, I pulled my hood over myself to cast minimal shade on my face. It was better than the direct sunlight.

Through the remainder of my journey my thoughts constantly bounced back and forth between Sanaki and Muarim. Regret was soon wandering its way into my mind. What if the trip to Karoo wouldn't be worth taking at all? What if Muarim's body disappeared because of something natural? I started to believe, as the day grew hotter, that Sanaki was right. I was getting my hopes up for nothing. Did I actually believe that after three years of being dead…Muarim could actually be alive? It was impossible. She had to be right. With the sun beating stronger, my head swarmed with every negative thought I could think of.

When I had at least reached the oasis, and finished off my last canteen of water, I made a decision. Muarim was dead. That was a fact. "And there's nothing I can do to change that," I whispered morosely.

Karoo was in plain sight. If I had been able to bear walking all the way back, I would have turned around then. But there was no way my weakened legs would be able to handle the walk. My lack of food consumption after Muarim's death left me skinnier than I ever had been before. I knew such a thing would cost me during a battle, but it was still much too difficult for me to eat with miserable feelings all around me. There were many times when I thought back to my attempt to end my own life. Sometimes I would find myself silently cursing Sothe for stopping me and other times just the thought of me saying such horrible things to him made me wish I had died even more, to prevent hurting Sothe all together.

I kneeled down tiredly in the sand with blood rushing through my head. Without anything better to do I made the choice to explore the town a bit since I had made the effort to get there.

Overall, it hadn't changed much in the three years. It maintained a relatively healthy sized population with the constant humming of chatter and clumps of hurrying people. The only notable difference was the increase in vendors. The town was known for its market but in the three years I had been gone the number of vendors seemed to triple. There wasn't one street not littered with pushy merchants.

Walking through the heart of the town soon took its toll on me. Feeling drugged by the heat and lack of nourishment, I swayed where I stood. Dizziness overcame me and soon black spots were dancing before my eyes. My stomach let out another furious growl that I ignored. But it was difficult to ignore the burning and twisting feeling inside me.

A sudden urgent thought crossed my mind that perhaps my face would be recognizable after what had happened. I made sure my hood remained fastened over my head tightly. Then, my head buzzed unpleasantly as I felt my surrounding spin wildly. Before I understood what was happening to my body I felt the warm pavement underneath me.

My eyes slid closed naturally and I moaned dejectedly feeling the impact of not eating and the sweltering heat. I tried relentlessly to open my eyes but part of me was too weak and the other part of me was too blinded by the rays of the sun. "Muarim…Muarim…where are you?" I cowered.

Concerned voices echoed around me and I could sense a crowd of shadows towering over me, giving off some mild relief from the sun. Subsequently, the touch of a pair of hands on my skin sent a static shock through my face where they rested. I wanted to push them away but I felt too debilitated to do so. I knew the sensation of hands on my face would lead to the uncovering of my hood. I tried to prepare myself as the hood was pushed away from my face. As a last ditch effort I barely managed to open my eyes into little slits and squirm away from the hands. _Why didn't I just eat? Have I actually become weaker in the three years? _Those thoughts ran through my mind as I realized my legs weren't substantial enough to hold up my own body weight, which had decreased considerably. Through my struggle, I managed to shift onto my knees and gather Bolganone back into my arms and fasten my mend staff tighter to my belt.

The stare of a scruffy well-built man burnt past me. I looked at him dismissively and forced myself to my feet, only to come crashing back down to the ground. I hissed as I fell and sharp pain arose from my kneecap that donned a fresh bleeding cut.

"What should we do with him?" asked a stocky man kneeling beside the scruffy one. "There's something weird about him."

My eyes fretfully bounced from each nameless face to the other. Instinct told me to run, but my uncooperative body had other plans.

"Don't know. Should we bring him in? He could be useful…I guess." The instinct to run pounded even harder in my skull. I made another attempt to stand but a wave of wooziness pulled me back down.

"Useful? You sure about that? Besides…he's not the kind the master is looking for anyway. He's a little too…. human," the stocky man replied with a humorous tone of voice. Both men chuckled at his apparent joke.

"I'm not bothering anyone…I was just leaving," I added sheepishly. Both men gave each other an insidious look and shook their heads. Another menacing chuckle followed soon after.

"You're not gonna get too far on those skinny legs, boy! When's the last time you ate? Last year?" said the well-built man. I narrowed my eyes scornfully at him.

"This morning actually," I corrected.

The large man grunted. "Hm. Coulda fooled me."

"Pardon his rudeness. I'll tell you what, how about you come with us and we'll feed you until you're nice and plump. And to pay us back…you could do some…simple labor for our master. What do you think? Do we have a deal?" Asked the other man suspiciously. I raised an eyebrow at his obscure question. _Simple labor? Master? He called me a human instead of a beorc. What's with this guy…. something is dangerously wrong here_, I thought to myself.

"No thanks," I replied politely and this time I managed to pull myself to my feet by leaning on a stonewall close behind me. My breathing grew heavier from the physical strain it took to pull myself up. I could no longer deny the burning on my forehead that felt suspiciously like a fever.

"C'mon kid. If you know what's good for you, you'll come with us," said one of the men. I could no longer focus my eyes on anything. The most I could see were smudges of blurs. But when I felt hands latching onto my arms I immediately went into panic mode.

"No…get off of me! I'm not coming with you! Go!" I shouted frantically. I wanted terribly to call upon my magic and exterminate them but I couldn't find the strength to open my tome.

Both of the men took turns dragging me against my will. I wasn't sure where I was going for the path ahead of me was a whirling blur. It was such a horrifying feeling. Not being able to fight back. That awful helpless sensation. And who was there to watch my back? There was no one. _I should have let Cade come with me_, I thought remorsefully. "Muarim…Muarim!" I called out.

"Who the hell is that? The boy's gone and lost his mind!"

I don't know why I called out for Muarim. It wasn't like he was going to help me or even hear me. But if Muarim had never died…I would have screamed for him even louder. He never let anything bad happen. He always protected me…to the point where it cost him his life. No one could ever be what Muarim was to me and I needed him so desperately. A lone tear tumbled down my cheek. "Muarim! MUARIM!"

"Ah! Shut your trap, brat or I'll shut it for you!"

"Go easy on him…he's clearly psychotic. Just let him be, we're almost there."

"What's he to me?" A sharp pang to my gut knocked the wind right out of my lungs. I stumbled forward but the tight grips on both of my arms kept me from hitting the ground. I cried out in pain.

"MUARIM!" I screamed. Another burst of pain erupted from my side.

"No one's coming for you, kid!"

"We're just about there! Now cut it out, before you make a scene."

Muarim would have never stood for that. Muarim would have killed them…or worse. My vulnerability took me over. It was terrifying how much I was yearning for him and how much I longed for his strength. _I've spent three years training and for what? To let these thugs carry me off somewhere? _Instead of screaming for Muarim, I screamed words I remembered from the ancient language, not knowing what effect that particular combination would cause.

The crackling and snapping of flames and the rumble of the earth were the last noises I heard until I finally succumbed into complete unconsciousness.

* * *

When I reopened my eyes I immediately wished I hadn't. The room I was in was less of a room and more like a prison cell, one that held me captive for the first five years of my life. A room where loneliness and tears were my only companions. A room I never wanted to remember, but even at such a young age I retained every grueling moment spent there.

The walls were painted a dark crimson with a single window straight across from the twin-sized bed I found myself laying on. The main question that whizzed through my head was how the hell did I end up here? How was it possible? I knew Mother died during the attack, so who could have occupied the house now? Why was I…home?

Instead of asking myself more questions I made the hasty decision that I did not want to know why I found myself back in my own personal slice of hell. I just needed to escape and fast. That's all there was to it. I wouldn't linger about and wonder…I would just run away and find some other place to rest from where I was.

I took the obvious route and darted toward the window with a sickening feeling of fear and nausea swimming through my gut. And I couldn't ignore the abnormal burning on my flesh. I pulled the window from the bottom and tried to push it upwards as I forcefully as I could, but to no avail. The window was locked, on purpose I assumed. With a fresh idea in my mind, I chose to take the more outlandish route and punch the window open. But not without some careful planning. I quickly wrapped a white sheet around my fist so it would serve me as a shield from the shattering glass. Once I made my way back to the window I sent my protected fist spiraling toward the glass. However, before I made impact, an unseen force pulled my arm back.

"Now that isn't a very good idea!" came a feminine voice that I loathed. I turned around with horror shining through my crimson eyes. Whatever color was in my face to begin with, immediately drained when I saw the flaming red hair, porcelain skin, and ruby red eyes of my mother. A face I never thought I would see again. "What's wrong with you? Do you think me a monster? Come! Come! You're ill child, and you need your rest."

I never imagined hearing that voice again. That horrible voice I wanted to erase. I gulped nervously and my heart thumped loud enough for myself to hear. "But…you're supposed to be…" I began.

She fumbled with dishes of food and glasses of ice water but paused in the midst of it. "Dead? Hardly! I'm right here, aren't I? Try to contain your joy now, child for I never left you!"

"That's just so comforting…" I mumbled sarcastically. While uncovering plates of steaming hot vegetables and large servings of meat she laughed deviously. A delicious aroma filled the air causing my stomach to rumble.

"What was that? Oh…no matter! Come! Come! Although I've noticed you've grown…you seem to have shrunken in stature. No son of mine is going to be made of skin and bones! Eat! Eat!" She motioned for me to sit at a small table filled with vegetables and meats of every array. Even though my stomach burned from its core, I resisted the temptation to eat.

"I…I don't feel well enough to eat…" I admitted shyly.

She quirked one crimson eyebrow and approached me casually, placing her smooth hand on my cheek. "And what can I do to make you eat? I'll not watch as you wither away."

I pulled her hand away from my cheek and took one uncomfortable step back. "You can start by answering some questions."

She clapped her hands together. "Ah perfect! What might those questions be?"

"How are you…how are you alive? Everyone said…Sanaki said…you're….you're supposed to be dead! And all this," I waved my arms around me, "isn't supposed to exist anymore! So how? How! Tell me! What else is being held secret from me?"

"Hm…I thought you would ask! Well sit down…because I have much to tell you, my son." We both seated ourselves. I tried unwaveringly to avoid dropping my eyes onto the hot food before me that made my stomach curl and twist in hunger. "Well, now then! That spoiled brat you call an Empress put up a good fight…but she was no match for me, naturally. During the thick of the fight she had the upper hand. Even with that I could have annihilated her _but _after the entire scene you caused I didn't really want the entire Begnion Empire on my case. So…I opted to forfeit the battle, but not of course without letting that foolish girl believe she had beaten me honorably."

I stared at her fixedly, trying to piece everything together. "So…you only pretended to die so she'd leave you alone?" I inferred.

She clapped her hands thunderously. "Bravo! My son has a brain! Yes, those were my intentions. I mean…why should I change my way of life just because some little girl says to?"

Heat rose on my face from the anger that rippled through me. "You're way of life is _wrong_. You're _wrong_. Everything you do is _wrong_! I lost _everything_ because of you…" Images of Muarim bloodied and breathless flashed across my eyes. An image of Sothe with a single tear streaming down his cheek haunted my thoughts.

"If by everything you mean body weight then I really can't take the blame for that!" She chuckled deviously with a wry smile spread from ear to ear.

I slammed my fists on the table, causing the china to rise and fall quickly with the sound of a small crash. "You know damn well what I mean!"

Her stature remained calm and collected. "Oh…do I? Is there something else I'm forgetting?"

"Muarim! You're the reason he's…he's…he's gone! I hate you…I hate you more than I ever have in my entire life. I don't care if your blood runs through me…I don't care! You took him from me!"

"Muarim? Ah! I hadn't realized it had a name! Well…with that cleared up I do believe you're precious Sanaki's Holy Guard saved me the trouble of killing him…if I remember correctly. Oh…but of course you would never blame her. No…I'm sure she made deal after deal with you just to clear her name. Yes…I bet she even concealed your agreement with a kiss! She wouldn't want you talking ill of her and the empire. Oh no no no! That would be most awful, would it not?"

"Stop! Just stop! You don't know anything about Sanaki or her intentions! She has a good heart…and I know she is sorry for what happened. But it's not like I need an apology from her. It was me the Holy Guard was after. Muarim was just protecting me…they never meant him harm."

"Ah yes…so in a technical sense the beast committed suicide and there is no one to blame! So please refrain from all this bitter talk, it's making me weary."

I balled my fists up with ferocity as I tried to conceal my rage. The beating of my heart thudded angrily. "You just don't get it! No…of course you couldn't. Muarim…he died so I could live…because as long as he was alive…he wouldn't let anything bad happen to me.

"Before I met some of my closest friends…Muarim was all I had. He took care of me…played with me...and he loved me. He was the greatest father I could have ever wanted. He was my best friend…and he promised he'd never leave me. And because of you, he had to break that promise because he always put everyone else above himself, especially me. And to be completely honest…after he died…I can hardly find a reason to smile anymore. So yes, you took _everything_ away from me."

"My, what a moving speech! Did you rehearse that? It was very good!"

"You're a monster," I spat with contempt.

"Oh! What a hurtful thing to say!"

"What makes you think I won't be reporting to Sanaki now that I know you're alive?"

"Because I won't let you! How's that for an answer?" She crossed her arms with authority and gave me a wayward glance. My head pounded with pent up anger. I didn't bother asking her how she planned to confine me, for it was already plain as day to me. She had enough soldiers under her command to stop me and enough insight to know when I was plotting an escape. "Anymore questions? I do love answering them!"

_I hate her…why am I here? What cruel fate is this? _I knew what I needed to do, however. No matter how difficult it would be, I needed to escape. I anticipated having to take careful planning but it was a price I was willing to pay. _Anything for freedom. _But how was I to do it? _Muarim did it once…so I should be able to as well. _One thing was entirely certain; there wasn't any ounce of possibility that I would be able to devise such a plan in the presence of Muarim's true killer.

I took her up on her offer then. "Yeah there's one more question. I don't feel well…so would you mind leaving me alone for a little bit? So I can rest?"

She silently agreed to my request. As soon as the door clicked shut was when I commenced my strategy. As I racked my thoughts for any shred of genius, I was interrupted by the ferocious growl of the beast that was my stomach. I soon came to the conclusion that the only way to a clear mind for thinking would be to vanquish the beast that roared through my skin.

I hated every second of it, but I swallowed down enough food to settle me. It was enough to extinguish the burning and twisting feeling with its tight stranglehold. With that much accomplished, a wave exhaustion greeted me rather rudely. My eyelids grew heavy and before long I retired to the twin sized bed I once slept in as a very young child.

When my world at last went black I collapsed into an aggressive slumber from which it seemed impossible to wake.

* * *

A warm yet calloused hand stroked my cheek ever so lovingly. Vibrations of nostalgia swam through my skin with every electric touch. I could sense the immensely large size of the hand as it stroked me and not only that but it held a cool and damp towel to my burning forehead. The feeling of love and nothing but love enveloped me gracefully into a protective cocoon where I was safe from all harm. A sense of security left me feeling comfortably content in the warmth of my sheets.

The sheer sensation of such a warm presence granted me the ability to open my weary eyes and behold for myself who my caretaker was. When my eyes were opened I immediately took in the darkness that was around me. It was dusk. The only source of light was a flickering candle by my bedside. That lone candle with its faltering flame gave off enough of a glow to illuminate the face that possessively hovered over me with such love and care.

When I saw the face, I couldn't breathe. Why were rich golden eyes staring back at me? Why did the face don distinct green facial markings? And most importantly, why did I know every contour of that face? Tears glimmered in the pair of shocking gold eyes. Beautifully wet tears dribbled down a tan cheek. Real tears. The wetness stained my sheets.

A dream…yes it all had to be a dream. Or was it that I was finally going mad? Did it truly take three years for me to finally lose my mind? Suddenly, a voice changed the direction of my thoughts.

"Little one…oh little one…I am so sorry…"

I couldn't help it…but I wept openly at the sound of his voice that was thick with sorrow, all while knowing very well he could be an illusion.

"Muarim?" I choked. He outlined my thin cheekbones with his thumb and removed the cool towel to place his own hand where it was. The heat from my forehead transferred to his hands.

"I've hurt you…you suffer because of me. Oh little one…I never wanted to cause you such pain. Little one…"

Of all the dreams I encountered of Muarim this one felt the most real. His hand felt real and the moisture of tears felt even realer.

"What are you talking about Muarim? This is my dream…you haven't hurt me."

"No, little one…not a dream. Do you feel the difference?" He stroked my cheek again lovingly, sending chills down my back and happy somersaults in my stomach. I could feel everything so vividly. Even down to his hot breath on my face.

"Not a dream? Then what is it?" I asked doubtfully. He stroked his hand through my hair.

"It's reality, little one. I was never gone from you…_never_."

* * *

**Author's Note- **Now that I've successfully messed with your minds...you can await my next chapter :)


	37. Chapter 37 Great Change

**A/N: **I'm back with my last _official_ chapter! Took long enough...I know and I apologize! I think this might be the longest one yet so hopefully nobody is disappointed! Don't freak out at the end...I'm writing a short little epilogue that will hopefully answer any questions. Anyway...enough talk! Enjoy my conclusion to this ridiculously long story!

* * *

Chapter 37 Great Change

A wet film glazed over my eyes. I felt as though I was being deceived by my own awareness. My body seemed to go numb with shock and all I could do was stare blankly into the golden orbs I had only dreamed of for three excruciatingly long years. I could barely gather a breath until he spoke to me again in a soft and soothing voice.

"Say something, little one…anything," Muarim pleaded. What was I to say? What if he was only an apparition? Haunting and toying with my fragile mind. I needed to protect myself.

"I'm going mad…" I uttered, still breathless.

"No, little one. I promise you I'm here," he argued. He brushed his hand across my cheek, catching each tear that fell.

"When I wake up…you'll be gone! And then I'll be alone again! So please…stop…stop teasing me! You're here one minute…and then you're gone! Gone! Gone…" I couldn't finish my thought as I exploded into unimaginable hysterics. Tears washed freely down my face, finding their way into the crooks of my mouth where I tasted their saltiness. My inability to breath caught up with me in the form of strangled hiccups.

As I collapsed forward from hysteria, Muarim instinctively caught me and crushed my weakened body with the full force of his embrace. "If you believe me to be a phantom…then why do you weep?"

"Because I…because…I'm scared …" I admitted between sobs.

"Scared of what, little one?"

"I'm scared that…that…you're actually real and you've been a slave for three years while I did nothing to help you!" I shook tumultuously between his arms, unable to control my frailty. He lessened my trembling by rubbing my back comfortingly and shushing me when my sobbing grew too loud.

"There's no way you could have known," he whispered somberly. I couldn't deny the truthfulness of his words. For the first time since he woke me, I decided to understand the impossibility of his presence. I would at least try to make sense of my potential insanity.

"How, then? How can you be here when you're supposed to be dead? And….and why didn't you run away? Why didn't you escape? Muarim! I'm losing my mind aren't I?"

He sighed deeply and shook his head. "No of course not, little one. I apologize for not being able to run away from this nightmare. I tried more times than I dared to count, but each time ended with twenty more lashes. I wanted to find you more than anything…but when I was gravely wounded trying to protect you…I was crippled by my injury. My scar constantly opens and bleeds if I jerk my body too quickly. So I was not fit for a proper chase."

With my eyes wide, I continued to question his existence. "How…how could anyone possibly heal a wound that big to begin with? And why would my mother want you alive? Wasn't it her goal to separate us?"

"Ah, they only healed it enough to stop the bleeding and for my heart to continue pumping. Although just doing that much was a difficult process for her team of healers. I can only fathom that she prayed upon my survival because of the dominance she would then have over you. She's been waiting for your return."

"Why didn't she just look for me? Why did she wait three years for me to come to her? It so irrational! She could have had her 'dominance' over me a while ago. So…why now?"

"Well there is the matter of you being under the protection of the apostle. If you were to disappear for too long a time, your mother feared the empress herself would come looking for you. And avoiding that very thing is what inspired her to live in secrecy in the first place."

Still not grasping the concept, I groaned exhaustingly. "But then why would she even bother taking me in now? She even tried to take care of me…which was beyond odd."

Suddenly, Muarim grasped my hand with concern pulsing from his touch and then radiating through my skin. "She won't keep you here long enough for the apostle to take notice," he said grimly.

"She's gonna let me go?" I inferred quietly.

Stroking my cheek, he replied, "No little one…she knows you're the one thing that will keep me and the rest of the laguz from freedom."

"Why should I be a barrier to your freedom? I want you free…I want all the laguz free! I don't understand…"

"Because if you die at her mercy…then she will have finally broken my spirit. And she knows without you…I may as well continue my life as a slave."

"What! That's insane! Muarim, what's gotten into you?" I snapped, feeling overwhelmingly shocked by his revelation.

"Little one…your life is more important to me than all the freedom the world has to give. I made a promise to watch over you and I don't intend to break it. As my child, whether or not by blood, I love you. The master knows this unfortunately…so I must sneak you out of here as soon as I can. If not for your own good, then for mine."

"But, Muarim…. you can't fight your way out of here with that injury! I can help! I've spent these past three years studying magic so I'll never have to watch someone I love disappear again. Please let me help! We can rally together the other laguz and…oh! I can even heal your wound completely with my mend staff! Please Muarim! If we don't want to be separated again then…. we need to work together and combine our strength. Are you with me?"

Muarim sighed heavily, still grasping my hand. "Your bravery makes me very proud. But I can assure you…the other laguz and I have been planning a rebellion for quite some time. I know they will escape and so will you. And now that you're here, we are going to have to work more quickly."

"But what about you?"

"Little one…you may have grown stronger but I've only grown weaker. Like I said, these injuries have crippled me more than you might believe…"

"Then let me heal you! I can change that, Muarim!" I exclaimed with pulsating excitement. He shook his head in rejection and slipped his hand under the hair that fell naturally onto my forehead.

"You have a fever, little one. Your forehead is burning like it used to when you were but an infant. You're not well." He held a sad glimmer in his eyes that tied my stomach in knots. I knew he referred to the common illness I used to suffer from called desert fever. In all honesty, I felt far worse than I looked but I would never let that stop me from healing Muarim. And I would never let him know the fullest extent of my pain.

"I'm fine! I'm going to heal you whether you like it or not!" I declared. After sliding through his loosened grasp I crossed the room to where my mend staff leaned against the wall. Upon picking it up, I felt the distinct feeling of eyes on my back. With staff in hand, I turned around to find Muarim staring at me in awe, his mouth slightly agape. "Something wrong?" I asked in curiosity.

"Little one…you've grown up…" he breathed, almost inaudibly.

I giggled at his shock and placed a sincere smile on my face. "Well yeah!" I agreed. He eyed me up and down several times in disbelief.

"You're not as little as you once were….but still little." I pursed my lips together in dissatisfaction.

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you'll always be little to me, no matter how much you grow," he said with an honest smile. I stuck my tongue out at him playfully and sauntered over with my azure mend staff in hand, ready to go.

"You won't be saying that when I'm an old man!" I countered. I chuckled at the thought of him calling me little one as I turned gray. But to my puzzlement, he remained quiet and still in response to my comment, with his eyes downturned. To ward off the tense aura that could suddenly be felt, I quickly changed subjects. "Now then! Let's see this wound-no-more." Muarim apprehensively lifted his shirt to reveal a thick binding of bandages wrapped around his torso. I gazed shockingly at the blood stained and tattered condition of the bandage. There was no trace that the bandage was ever white to begin with for it was mostly tarnished with blotches of red and brown. I was hesitant at first to peal away the bandages, but I was more than relieved when Muarim started unraveling them himself. I held my breath as I waited to see the severity of his injury.

Within a few seconds, the bandages were in a neat pile on the floor. Instead of seeing Muarim, all I could see was the same nightmare flashing before my eyes. The nightmare where I thought him to be dead from the very same wound.

"You don't need to do this, little one. It's much too severe," he suggested in a hushed tone.

"And let you suffer? I don't think so! Not while I'm around!" I gripped the mend staff confidently with both my hands and raised it slightly above my head. From there, I began to recite incantations Rhys had taught me several years ago. They rolled off my tongue fluidly without much thought. As the blue orb of the staff glowed luminously, I could immediately feel my own energy drain. With each word I spoke, energy was pulled out of my body but not in a frightening way. I was expecting to feel the strain, especially since I was out of practice when it came to healing. Instead of fighting the drain of my energy, I freely gave it away for Muarim needed it more than I did. I would recover from my fatigue, but without proper help, Muarim would never recover from the wound he endured for my protection. It was the very least I could do for him. I was more than willing to continue my incantations until I was collapsed on the floor twitching in pain, if only to erase the agony Muarim had to deal with on a day-to-day basis.

Soon enough I felt my consciousness slip but I furiously fought back by reciting the incantations louder, using my voice as a weapon to force myself to stay awake. I pictured the struggle the wound caused Muarim for years and used that as fuel to finish the mending spell. I hadn't realized I was shaking until Muarim's voice wiggled its way through my thoughts.

"Little one…that's enough, you're hurting yourself!" he growled. I couldn't obey him, because I knew from past experiences that the spell would be truly finished only when the constant loss of energy ceased. And I was still feeling the uncanny tug on my consciousness, which told me I was far from done. As my chanting grew louder, I fervently hoped my voice would not reach the ears of my mother and waken her. It would surely lead to imminent death for both Muarim and me.

I kept my eyes closed, so I was not be distracted by any of my surroundings. It took all my strength not to fall into the pit of darkness that beckoned for my presence. Muarim's injury was much worse than I had anticipated. Not once could I recall ever healing something so fatal. _How could he have survived all this time with that wound? And the whip lashes on his back? He's strong…so strong_, I thought. Tears started to rain down my cheeks as thoughts of Muarim suffering for so long invaded my mind. I couldn't begin to fathom the full impact of such horrendous physical pain. _All this time I thought that I was the one who couldn't catch a break from misery, but Muarim had it so much worse…_

"Little one, stop! Don't push yourself like this!" Abruptly, the flow of energy out of my body and into Muarim's was cut off. I muttered one last word in the ancient language and the incantation was complete. I knew Muarim would be okay. And I never would have dared to let myself think such a thing before. With a satisfied smile animating my face, my eyes at last rolled to the back of my head and my stomach dropped as I felt myself falling backwards into a pool of darkness.

* * *

I opened my eyes to find myself in the same room as before curled up next to Muarim on my soft comfortable bed. This time he didn't disappear. He was still there. I could feel him breathing uneasily next to me, stroking my head with apparent fear. "You didn't leave…" I whispered. He pulled me closer to him and kissed the top of my head affectionately.

"Of course not," he confirmed. Seemingly out of nowhere, tears started to cascade down my cheeks. I couldn't control my waterworks display, so Muarim cradled me tighter.

"Don't cry little one. You should be very proud of yourself…you have indeed grown stronger with your magic. Thank you…"

"You haven't seen nothin' yet," I replied tiredly before I was once again succumbed into an aggressive sleep.

* * *

When I awoke the second time I was still curled up next to Muarim. My fever burned more furiously than ever before. Muarim forced me to put food down my stomach to replenish the supply of energy I had given him. This time when I ate there was absolutely nothing nauseating about the process. The sick feeling in my stomach seemed to vanish as I clung onto Muarim for the comfort I so desperately needed. I knew, given enough time, Muarim's compassionate touch would freeze the inferno burning on my forehead.

He cared for me for the remainder of the night by feeding me, hushing my sobs, and watching me rest when I felt too exhausted to stay awake. I felt like a helpless infant again, but for one night it wasn't so bad.

When dawn began to break, Muarim roused me from the light nap I had surrendered to. I picked my weary head off of his warm chest and gave him a questioning look.

"Little one…I must return before my absence is noticed. When I find you again it will be our time to escape and most likely fight. I'm going to alert the other laguz that our time is rapidly approaching. Until then…don't come looking for me, it will give us away. Do you understand?" he asked. Initially, I wanted to explode into perpetual sobs, until I considered the importance of his words. He was right. If we ever wanted to go back to our normal lives…we would have to endure the temporary separation. But still, the uncertainty of the situation bothered me more than anything. What if something was to go wrong? What if my mother were to find out ahead of time? Those possibilities made my lower lip quiver and my eyes glimmer with sorrow. "Don't be sad, little one. We are going to escape, you and I and the rest of the laguz."

I nodded my head somberly and stared at Muarim with worry. "Promise?"

He placed his hand on my shoulder firmly. "I promise," he confirmed. No matter how convincing his reasoning was, the fact that he was leaving again after I had just gotten him back left me feeling empty and alone. Sensing my displeasure, Muarim pulled me into his arms one last time before he left. I wanted to tell him about all that had happened while he was gone, but I supposed it would have to be put on hold.

"This isn't fair…" I grumbled. Knowing that Muarim was still a slave sent a ripple of anger through me. Before he officially departed I said something I had wished I said three years ago. "I love you, Muarim."

"And I you, little one." He kissed the top of my forehead and made his way out the door. I stared at his back with a heavy heart and felt the loneliness kick in as the door clicked shut. Although I felt saddened by his absence, it was not to the same degree as it had been before. Before was much worse. I didn't need to lament over him because he was very much alive. He was alive and that was enough of a reason to smile and carry on.

* * *

My fever had virtually disappeared by the later hours of the morning. I knew I was to wait for Muarim's word but sitting around wasn't doing me much good. Before I ventured off I searched the room for Bolganone, which I distinctly remembered having upon getting captured. However, no matter how much I tore apart my room, the tome was nowhere to be found. "Well this is just great…" I said under my breath.

I assumed then that my only weapon was confiscated. I wondered why my staff wasn't taken as well but I decided not to dwell on the fact too much seeing as the simple act of possible human error saved Muarim from any more pain. After I slid the staff onto my belt, I closed my hand around the cold handle of the door. "Guess I'm going tomeless," I murmured to myself. After all, if need be I could use my mind as a weapon. There were several spells I had memorized for such an occasion.

Before complete exposure, I peaked my head outside the door to verify that I was alone in the long narrow hall before me. As I looked to my right and left, I failed to see another presence besides my own. Knowing that, I silently paced through the halls without a final destination planned. It felt good that I was no longer being quarantined in a small space.

While I strode aimlessly through the halls two different voices met my ears. The chattering was quite faint so I cautiously moved closer toward the source of the conversing. When the chatter became comprehendible, I pressed my body against the wall, so not to be seen, and pricked up my ears to eavesdrop on the conversation.

"And what do you mean a slave attacked you last night? If such a mutiny occurred, why did you not vanquish the beast?" questioned the voice of my mother callously.

"F-forgive me…I was too weak to do so. The beast was so very strong…and yet it left me only unconscious," stammered a wavering voice of an older man.

I clenched my teeth tightly together and began breaking a nervous sweat. "Too weak? What a shame! Hm, no matter…what did the beast look like? I'll kill it myself personally. Since clearly the only way to get things done around here is to do it yourself!" she replied spitefully.

My heartbeat faltered as I waited for the reply of the older man. "I don't exactly remember…it's all but a hazy memory to me now." I breathed a sigh of relief at his response.

"Fine, then. I'll just have to torture them all until one of them fesses up."

"Wait…there is something I remember about the slave. He had bandages wrapped around his torso and he looked like he was in pain. But that is all I can remember…"

_Muarim! No! _I cupped my hand over my mouth, to stop myself from reacting animatedly. I was torn between rushing to Muarim right away and continuing to listen to the rather informative conversation. _One step at a time_, I told myself. If I were to run off without a plan, chaos would certainly be in order.

"Ah…I see…thank you very much. Do you know where the beast was headed?" she asked.

"Well I was standing guard on the young master's door…so I assume he wanted entry."

_Just how long is Muarim planning on waiting to start this revolt? It seems like now or never! _I screamed to myself mentally. _I need to warn him…_

Suddenly I heard a thunderous crash against the wall and the man cried out in shock. I jumped where I stood and tried urgently to slow down my climbing heart rate.

"Why did you not mention this before? You fool! I should have _you_ killed for your insolence!" she shouted coldly. The man stumbled for words but just before he could mumble something understandable he was interrupted by another brutal blow. I winced at the sound of fists pounding on flesh. Then, without any warning, the clicking of heels resonated only to disappear somewhere off in the distance, away from me. I glanced down the corridor to see her receding down the opposite end of the never-ending hallway.

Once I knew my path was clear I acted spontaneously and somewhat inconsiderately. But I was not going to be bothered with trivial concerns like politeness. I approached the gray haired guard who sat slumped against the wall with black arcs forming underneath his weary brown eyes. I wasn't very confident with my fist fighting skills, but my opponent was already weakened. I took advantage of this by grabbing him by his protective chain mail and sending a punch spiraling toward his already bruised face. My knuckles flared with pain upon contact, but I took a sigh of relief as the gray haired guard lost consciousness with a fresh trail of blood trickling out of his nostril. "Today just isn't your day," I muttered.

Upon knocking him out, I stripped him of his chain mail and the silver tunic he wore underneath it along with his silver helmet. Then, I hastily pulled the borrowed garb over my own clothes and fastened the helmet atop my head. The chain mail felt uncomfortably heavy and the helmet perhaps a little too loose, but it would do. Lastly, I snatched the sword and sheath he had slung over his back. I secured it onto my own back, feeling the awkwardness of extra weight pulling me down. I fumbled with my mend staff, trying to hide it under the chain mail without it appearing obvious. Once all was secure, I scurried down the hall in search of Muarim and the other laguz.

To my luck, my memory did not fail me over the years. I could still recall the same room where I had first met Muarim as an infant. It was down several flights of stairs and on my way down I ran into at least five different guards, dressed identical to me. I nodded to each of them as I passed by, attempting to hide the fact that I was in a dire rush. None of them batted an eyelash at me or took a second glance.

When I reached the cellar where most of the slaves were bound to be laboring, I ran into another guard blockading the only entrance. Upon approaching him he said, "Were you given permission to enter?"

I nodded my head confidently. "Sure was! Direct orders from the fine lady herself," I replied enthusiastically. The doubtful guard narrowed his eyes at me skeptically.

"And what were those orders exactly?" he asked.

"Just the standard headcount, nothing fancy," I responded quickly. He grunted in distaste, but opened the doors nonetheless.

"Very well," he began. I started toward the door when the guard added, "everyone's on high alert today. I've got this bad feeling, don't you?" I spun around and flashed him an earnest grin.

"Nope. Not at all!" I said. And with that I hurried into the cellar to make his 'bad feeling' a reality. It was just as dark and dismal as I remembered with the distinct sound of dripping water. The further I plunged into the darkness, the closer I became to the candle lit corner with hurrying laguz, preparing to begin their daily duties. I counted about twenty of them, more males than females. Several were of the bird and beast tribes. When my presence was made known, the laguz hurried even more than they were prior. I was strangely satisfied that my ruse was fooling them all. Of course, that was until I heard the two words that only one person ever spoke.

"Little one?" said Muarim, stepping forward from the chaos. I grumbled dejectedly.

"How'd you know?"

Muarim carefully lifted the oversized helmet off my head and smiled. "Instinct," he replied. As my true identity was revealed the laguz stopped hurrying and stood frozen in place, staring at me uneasily. "Little one…what is happening? Why are you dressed like that and more importantly why are you here when I told you to wait?"

"Muarim, she knows! She knows you came to visit me last night and she knows you attacked a guard! Now is the time to fight! We have to or I'll lose you again! And if you think I'm gonna let that happen, then your sorely mistaken. Everyone, prepare to fight! Because right now…all of our lives depend on it," I bellowed. Each laguz exchanged frightened glances with one another. None looked prepared to fight. Their fear reverberated off their bodies, giving me a sense of anxiety. I looked to Muarim with concern; he crossed his arms and shook his head with a frown forming. The room fell silent except for the occasional murmur from one laguz to another.

Suddenly, Muarim's voice severed the silence. "I know this is earlier than we expected, but we can trust that his word is true. We'll take to battle now and leave any regret behind."

A few of the laguz hissed under their breath. "Why should we trust a human? He could be fooling us! This could be a trap!" said an infuriated cat laguz. I flinched at being thought of so negatively, until I remembered where and who I truly was. The rest of the laguz grunted in agreement and soon the lack of trust and anger swept them away.

"He is not one for you to fear. His only intentions are to see us escape safely," Muarim countered.

"Why should we trust a human? I say we report him as a traitor and watch him suffer at the mercy of a whip! And see how he likes it! Then we'll be the ones laughing…the way it should be. Humans are no good! The whole lot of them, hasn't that been made clear to you by know? And even if this traitor is sincere, then why would he want to help a bunch of slaves? I say we all attack him at once…it would be even better than watching him get whipped! You're right, it is time for us to fight back. Let's leave not a single human alive; starting with this one…" rebuked the fiery cat laguz. He flashed his sharp pointy teeth at me and the others behind him released low growls and intimidating hisses. Slowly they approached me, casually closing into a small circle. I backed up nervously only to crash into a hawk laguz directly behind me. I ran out of open space to step away from them and further found myself barricaded in walls of fuming laguz. Fighting them wasn't option, since I needed them to trust me. But I was partially tempted to call upon my magic as a form of self-defense.

Before I could completely gather my thoughts Muarim yelled out, "ENOUGH!" The laguz froze and turned around to behold Muarim's rabid glare. He furiously pushed through the laguz surrounding me, and grabbed me by the arm forcefully. "I raised the little one. He has been mine ever since he was an infant. He is my _son_, in more ways than blood ties could ever account for," he spoke firmly. My eyes twinkled with adoration while I watched him speak. He called me his son. I always knew it to be true…but to hear him actually say it bought me great joy and I couldn't help but to grin foolishly.

"And until recently we have been fighting for the emancipation of slaves all over Begnion. So please, don't mistake him for an enemy. At least for today, consider him one of us, seeing as we all have a common goal. And if we can't settle our differences then we may as well stay here and rot," he finished. The laguz whispered amongst themselves for a moment. Some nodded their heads and others shook their heads with discontent. I watched this exchange of gestures for a few more seconds until the cat laguz from before spoke yet again.

"If what you say is true…then why does he wear their clothing?" I laughed off his question, saying I used the garb as a ruse in order to be allowed entry into the cellar. And to make him feel better, I stripped off the heavy chain mail, sheath, and tunic, revealing the clothing I travelled to Karoo in.

"Trust me, I couldn't swing a sword if I tried."

"If you aren't one them…then what are you doing here? Are you a prisoner?"

I chuckled darkly. "Yeah…something like that…but there's no time to get into details now. It's do or die! Muarim, I can't make them follow me…so tell them to prepare for battle," I shouted as I ran to the door to check for guards. Muarim echoed my orders and devised a simple strategy for battle. Since our objective was to escape, Muarim split the laguz into three groups. One group would obviously be led by him, another group was led by an old raven laguz, and the last group he ordered me to command.

"But Muarim! I can't make them listen to me the way you can…why don't we just create two battalions?" I asked in a frenzy.

"Aren't you the leader of the emancipation army? Surely this is a simple task, little one. Treat them the way you would treat Cade and others…then they will listen to you."

"But-"

He put a finger to my lips and silenced my protest before I could form enough words. "Show me how much stronger you have grown."

With that, I nodded with newfound determination and courage. I even managed a smile, knowing very well we were about to be separated again with our fates very uncertain. But I had faith in the training I had undergone. I had faith in my magic and most importantly I had faith in my willingness to emerge victorious.

"I'll do more than show you! If you see me fighting, stand back, because you might just get blown away!" I boasted enthusiastically. Muarim grinned back at me and patted the top of my head.

"I'm very happy you haven't changed," he said with satisfaction. I wanted to collapse into his arms, but instead I settled for a quick reassuring nod. I felt that if I had taken the time to show my affection, our temporary departure would seem like a permanent good-bye. And that was something my fragile mind could never undergo again. Without further discussion, Muarim and I separated and rallied our laguz battalions into a strategic formation made up of four lines, the stronger fighters in the front, and the weaker ones in the back. When I discussed the strategy with the laguz, not one made eye contact with me or gave even a simple gesture to show they were listening. I sighed heavily, feeling the weight of pressure upon my shoulders.

Muarim's battalion shifted and set off way before my own. He shot me a concerned look when he saw the lacking organization of my laguz. I assuaged his worries with a quick halfhearted smile. When the others were clean out of sight, my battalion began to develop extra hard feelings towards me.

"We're not following a human. We are all in agreement and without Muarim, who you probably consider a pet, there is no one to stop us from trampling over you, son of the master," came a hotheaded cat laguz, his ears pricking in irritation, his tail wagging with excitement. _How did he know? _

My face flushed with wrath. "A pet? A pet! Pah! I've never had one in my life. Muarim watches out for me and I watch out for him, it's as simple as that!" I yelled in return.

The pugnacious cat stepped forward, hatred glaring through his eyes. "Well where is he now, human?" He hissed viciously and flashed his teeth like he was threatening me. "You're the master's son! I've been a slave here since you were born. I remember you. It's a shame how short your pathetic human life is. Even though I only remember you as an infant, there is no other human, save for the master, who has those devil red eyes!" He hissed even louder, baring his teeth once again.

My hands began to shake with the irrepressible anger coursing through me. "A son doesn't choose his mother! If you claim to know so much about me, then why don't you tell me why I left? You were there after all! Go on! Tell them why I left. Tell them why I curse the place I was born," I spat venomously.

"You set this house aflame, because you're the son of the devil! You're accursed magic killed so many of us! Did you know that? You killed us with your demonic magic! We all spit upon your name, Tormod. I can only imagine that you left because you feared that us survivors would take your accursed head."

I admit, hearing that, I wept. "I…no…I didn't kill anyone! I…never meant for that to happen! It was an accident…" I whimpered. Never had I know the full impact of that night. Muarim and I had fled too soon to notice an influx in laguz deaths. This was the first time I realized I was a murderer. And at last I understood the true nature of the anger they felt toward me. It was hardly because I was beorc, it was because they grieved for the all the laguz I had killed inadvertently. "I never knew…" I whispered as an attack of tears threatened to explode.

"Whether you were aware of it or not isn't the point. Do you understand now why we refuse to follow you? You're going to lead us to our deaths."

I nodded my head miserably with my shoulders slumped over. I couldn't pick my gaze up off the floor and face the laguz who had every right to loathe me. "I'm sorry…" I began.

"Sorry? I'm afraid that won't cut it," snapped the pugnacious laguz.

Suddenly, a spark of anger cut through my despair. I wiped the wetness away from my eyes and stiffened tighter than a bowstring. "I'll not listen to you any more! I don't need to explain myself anymore than I already have. If you are all so intent on dying, then please go right ahead and do so! Stay here and live in misery for the rest of your lives! I have nothing left to stay…but I no longer have the desire to die. I want to live more than anything right now and I won't let any of you stand in my way. I'll not abandon the others who are fighting for their freedom while we stand here and bicker!" I shot an icy glare towards the cat laguz who challenged me. Then, I turned around and with the swish of my orange cape I turned the handle of the door to confront the battle headstrong. "If you don't fancy death, join me. And if I can't change your minds, so be it," I added as I pulled open the door.

Upon opening the door I was greeted with the undeniable sounds of a fresh battle ensuing. Growls and screams coming from every which direction, the distinct smell of metal and sweat, and the ever present feeling of an unadulterated passion to win. My heart fluttered with adrenaline at the thought of deliberately throwing myself into the fray. Of course there was fear heavy in my heart, but such a price comes with any battle. Just as those fearful thoughts threatened to drown my perseverance, memories of Muarim warmed my heart and gave me the strength to run headfirst into the quarrel.

As I rushed into the fight, climbing several flights of stairs, I heard the flapping of wings and scratching of claws against the hard surface. I quickly glanced over my shoulder to see my small battalion following close behind me. I grinned with pleasure, knowing I had gotten through to them. I gave the laguz behind me a swift nod of acceptance and carried on up the endless flights of stairs.

Once we had reached the main level of the house, we were met with an onslaught of guards pursuing us from all sides. "Surround the rebels and kill the boy!" shouted one guard of higher rank. I made the assumption then that the soldiers were ordered to not kill the slaves, but the ones leading them. It was a simple tactic and made perfect sense in most scenarios. An army falls with its leader, and obviously there was no point in killing all the slaves who were needed for labor. With that in mind, I ordered the laguz to pull back, knowing the dangers of such a move since I was the target. They hesitantly obeyed and I smiled wryly when I at last had my open arena for fighting.

Despite the clamor that surrounded me, I cleared my mind of it all and let deadly spells flow freely from my memory and out of my mouth in the ancient tongue. Upon concentrating my arm was jabbed with sharp tip of a silver spear, but before I could cry out in pain and before that spear could completely wedge itself into my flesh, an explosion of a blistering gale of heat burst from my body, stunning the soldiers that thirsted for my blood. With the knowledge that they were only temporarily stunned, I hastily moved the rest of the laguz along closer to the nearest exit.

Soon we were met with Muarim's army, battling fiercely against a seemingly impenetrable wall of soldiers. Behind them had to have been an exit. I could tell simply by the lust shining through the eyes of every laguz fighting. I then ordered my laguz to join them, hoping the combined armies could break the wall of soldiers. However, after only a few seconds of fighting I could see that it almost appeared as if all the soldiers at my mother's disposal were crowded around this lone exit. I briefly thought of searching elsewhere for an escape route, but it would be impossible to shake a group of soldiers this large off of our tails. They would undoubtedly follow us if we ran for another exit. It seemed that we were faced with only two options. Fight or die.

An ear-splitting howl of agony caused my head to turn in the direction of the first fallen laguz. My hands began to grow damp from nervous perspiration. Another shriek sounded and then shortly after a thump vibrated the floor. A hawk laguz had fallen, most likely dead from what I could see. I should have heeded the warning as a third feline-like cry reverberated and a pool of slippery blood formed beneath my feet. This time the death was very close by and it was becoming more and more evident that the beorc soldiers were dominating the laguz. They were pushing us back and soon would have us in a defensive stance.

I couldn't find Muarim through the mess of soldiers, laguz, and scattered dead bodies. I tried not to panic and instead I strategized. With a fresh plan devised, I pushed my way to the front line, being careful to avoid the vengeful tips of prodding spears. Once I was exposed and vulnerable I shouted a quick order for the laguz to fall back yet again. All obeyed except one. Muarim found me just before my plan was executed. He growled at me with worry, flashing his teeth to express his disapproval.

"Fall back, Muarim! I'll be okay! Stay with the others," I shouted to him. He growled again, this time with more savagery. His roar soon made a shift into a sound that appeared to be more of a cry as I sidestepped away from a lance that was being thrusted at my abdomen. "Go, Muarim! You said yourself I've grown stronger! If you really meant what you said then leave! I can handle this…I promise!" He roared again but he turned away as he did so. With him gone and hundreds of soldiers surrounding me I did something Sanaki warned me never to do even in the most desperate situations. I called upon the spirits I harbored inside me. I screamed and shouted for their help in the ancient language until I felt their unbelievable strength coursing through me. Strange red and orange auras floated about me in the most unearthly way. They moved in the same way a flame of a fire waves and sparks with the occasional crackle. The soldiers froze in their footsteps, becoming mesmerized in the scene that was materializing before them.

The dancing auras swirled around my arms and tickled my legs and back as they danced all over my body. Then, finally, a static shot electrified my chest and the auras disappeared. Without any thought, I impulsively stretched one arm out and let all the dark energy the spirits gave me come spewing out of the palm of my hand, creating a fiery inferno. A devastating blaze erupted so violently that the walls around me literally began to crumble and crash down upon unsuspecting soldiers. I held onto the spirit's power that flowed through me until I no longer felt threatened by even a single soldier. Several of them had fallen to the floor and others screamed and ran about frantically trying to extinguish the flames that would inevitably engulf them.

I turned around and ordered for the laguz to flee and search for a window to jump through. I needed to have faith that they would find a way out. Again all obeyed but one laguz. Muarim cautiously approached me, stealthily avoiding the flames that yearned to catch on to his emerald fur.

"Muarim get out of here!" I yelled between clenched teeth. Frustration crept inside my voice as I tried to end the spell I had so critically cast. He growled and took a few uncertain steps closer to me.

My skin had to have been hotter than the inferno itself. Hypnotic flames outlined the contours of my body and although I was unsure how to extinguish them, they caused no real physical harm. As Muarim slowly approached me I couldn't help but to scream at him for the fear of burning his fur welled up inside me at a tremendous rate. "Muarim! No! Lead the others through another exit! I'll be fine, just go! I'm stronger now, remember?"

Red and orange flames reflected in his eyes. He roared so fiercely that I believe the ground beneath us shook, or I may have imagined such an effect. I understood his plight because in truth I was unsure how to discontinue the throwing of fire in all directions. But I needed him to trust me more than anything for I feared his life depended on it. "Just leave Muarim! I'm not a little kid anymore…and that means no more little kid magic tricks. I need you to get out or I'll hurt you! Please trust me Muarim…. please!"

His responding roar bellowed throughout the halls until he at last turned around with extreme reluctance. Soon he disappeared and all that was left to see was a blur of yellow, orange, and red. Embers flew through the air and glowed as bright as any individual flame. The temperature grew extraordinarily hot, even for me. A normal beorc and even a laguz would soon no longer be able to stand the blistering heat.

A feeling of relief washed over me as I watched Muarim's beast form disappear far away from the fire. _He trusts me…and I trust him_, I fathomed in my mind. With the laguz gone, I hoped they had reached safety; I was alone with the melting soldiers whose shrieks grew quieter and quieter as death's cold embrace enveloped them. I shuddered at the thought of such great loss of life occurring right before me, considering there were well over fifty soldiers. But I knew, deep within my heart, that murder was the only way to ensure myself a future away from the house I was born in and alongside Muarim and the Emancipation Army. The absurdity of Muarim's existence kept me standing inside the blaze that would normally kill another.

And yet it was strange. Initially, I could feel the sweltering heat gather around me and the nipping of flames at my skin, but those feelings didn't last. After a while any discomfort disappeared and I couldn't feel a thing. No pain, no burning, and no weariness. This strange feeling of adrenaline distracted me so much that it took me a moment to realize a feline laguz (the rebellious one from early) had its teeth and claws sinking into the skin of my right thigh. I yelled out only from shock, not of pain for I felt not even the tiniest scratch.

I had no intention of hurting the feisty laguz, but simply by pulling him off of me I did in fact cause him great harm. The touch of my hand sent him swirling into a fit of agony. I'll never forget the death cry as the laguz crumbled beneath my feet. The flames had caught onto his fur faster than I could have reacted. The hungry blaze ate through his fur and eventually it found its way to the skin, then the muscle, then the innards and the rest was more than I dared to watch.

When I turned away from the laguz's torment, I was met with the crazed face of my mother with fire burning in her eyes. "You really do cause so much trouble," she spoke, her voice was barely above a murmur as she competed with crackling flames.

"I try to keep things interesting," I replied with sarcasm. She clapped her hands together and laughed evilly. She then looked around and carefully studied the firestorm around us. She took in the horrid scent of burnt flesh and fur and grinned insidiously.

"Yes…you are definitely a son of mine. Who else could create such a fabulous display?" Her tone of voice made me just as sick as the meaning of her words. Her eyes then wandered to my thigh that had begun to bleed at an impressive rate. "Oh! You are hurt…well this certainly makes my job much easier."

I clenched my flaming fists and prepared to fight her with everything I had in me. "How did you do it? How did you fool us all into believing Muarim was really dead? You're sick…sicker than I ever gave you credit for…I nearly ended my own my life for no reason at all! If I had known…if I had known…" I trailed off in my own act of anger.

She chuckled sadistically and took three steps closer to me, showing no hindrance from the flames biting at her. "Well…you weren't the only one to ever split their shadow from their body. I had done it too, a very long time ago. I couldn't find much use for the helpless thing until the day you were separated from that beast. When I decided what I wanted to do, I made that shadow morph into your subhuman companion…and well the rest is history."

"Are you saying you buried your shadow? ALIVE? You're absolutely mad! How could you dispose of a living breathing person so easily? You didn't feel any connection to your shadow at all? Whatever heart you may have had has officially frozen over!"

She clapped her hands enthusiastically as if she were applauding a performance. "That may be so…but you disposed of your shadow just as heartlessly as I did! I hold no respect for hypocrites!"

My face turned brighter than the bouncing flames around me. "No! Devlin didn't waste his life…like your shadow did! He gave me hope when he died…hope that I could be permanently rid of you! What you did…. was disgusting," I spat contemptuously. "You're insane! The world will be a much better place without you in it!"

Then she laughed much harder than before. "You named the silly thing after your father? How touching! But in all honesty, Tormod, one day you will be just as 'mad' as me. Just look! It's already happening! How many of my men did you kill just now? Fifty was it? A rather ambitious feat! But I feel the spirits hiding in your body…just as they find shelter in mine. They'll take over you, my son, and soon enough you will find yourself thirsting for the blood of all those you may have loved. You'll lose your sense of self. You'll go absolutely mad with power…you will, you will! You'll forget any values you held. You'll be no better off than a feral one. Just think about all the exciting adventures life has in store for you now that you have charmed the spirits!"

"No…never! I'll never be like you! I'm stronger! I can handle the spirits…I know I can! The only reason you've gone batty is because you're a weakling! And in this world…only the strongest survive. And today…that most certainly is _not_ you!" For one last time I let the fire spirits go wild. My skin erupted barbarously into flames; again I couldn't feel a thing. As the inferno blew up in both our faces the walls began to crumble and it became obvious that the ceiling too was caving in as blocks of debris came raining down on us. I made haste to the window and sent my sizzling fist flying through it, shattering the glass that sprinkled into my face. I was thankful I couldn't feel the glass burrowing into my skin.

At first, I believed my mother to be lost in the flames or buried underneath a chunk of the ceiling that had fallen. That was until I heard her callous voice emerge above the snapping of fire and the rumbling of walls caving in.

"It will happen to you too! I welcome you into your fist stage of transformation into a monster!" That was the last thing she spoke as the house severely quaked and more chunks of ceiling and debris fell to the earth. Before I made my escape I would not let her have the last word.

"And may you burn in hell!" I screamed so ferociously that my lungs were sore afterwards. In an instant, the structure in which I was raised in started to crumble to the ground, symbolizing a life no more. With my childhood burdens in the past I ran far away from the collapsing building until I felt I was safe. Off in the distance I could see about a dozen untransformed laguz, watching the demolition much like I was. Their burdens, along with mine, collapsed into rubble with one last earsplitting crash. And the house was no more.

I stumbled away from the demolition behind me, completely out of breath. Every mini explosion that came from within the collapsed building caused my ears to ring piercingly. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed not only were the laguz watching the structure disappear but so were several bystanders, watching everything in horror. They screamed and yelled animatedly. I couldn't understand just what they were saying but the edge in their voices told me they were outraged.

My tired eyes eagerly scanned for Muarim but just as I found him within the group of laguz, I regained feeling in my body. Unable to stand on my bitten leg, I collapsed forward and fell into the rubble. The pain was unlike anything I had felt prior. The sensation of teeth sinking in past my layer of muscle was still ever present. The slippery blood ran down my entire leg smoothly. Despite the agony, I bolted my mouth shut. I didn't want to scream and I most certainly did not want to show weakness. Instead, somehow I picked myself up out of the rubble and stood on my half eaten leg like it was nothing at all. I panted and perspired with every movement I made. But it didn't take me long to hobble over to Muarim and the others. I wiped the sweat away from my brow as I did so and when I pulled my hand away from my face, I saw it. In the palm of my left hand was a dark black swirl, sheer proof that I could now officially call myself a "spirit charmer". However, my pain turned my attention away from that issue.

I wanted to crumble to the ground and release a blood curdling scream, but I still refrained myself from doing so. As I limped to Muarim and as he took notice of me, alarm swept him away. Just a quick glance to my leg and he sprinted towards me with that terrified look about him. I tried for a smile but with great difficulty. When I failed to grin, I let out an exhausted chuckle. "Hey…Muar…im…" I breathed.

He then grasped me by my shoulders distressingly and tried to look past my eyes where I could only imagine he saw nothingness for exhaustion consumed me with unbelievable aggression. "Little one! You're hurt…you're hurt because I left you! What has become of your leg? Stay with me…"

My eyes rolled around in their sockets like independent spirits. And the sudden urge to laugh at everything challenged my sanity. "Leg? Leg…leg…right! Leg! What…? Leg?" My words slurred together like I was intoxicated. I knew my lack of coordination was from rapid blood loss and the strain the spirits placed upon me.

"Either let me carry you or sit down now! I can't watch as you stand on that leg! You're making it much worse," Muarim barked.

"I'll do whatever I want to do…thank you very much!" Subconsciously, I rubbed my oozing leg with my hand then brought the bloodied hand up to my face. "Whoops…" And then I laughed so mirthfully that it took a moment for me to remember just what exactly it was that I was laughing at. "I'm tired…so tired…Muarim…would it be okay if I just closed my eyes and…" Without even realizing it, I collapsed forward. Luckily, I fell right into Muarim's chest where he decided to lift me up over his shoulder.

He carried me like that for a few minutes until he at last dropped me somewhere near a body of water. The place felt familiar but my frazzled mind couldn't quite figure out where I had seen the place before. Muarim yelled something that I couldn't understand but I knew it wasn't directed towards me. Someone must have followed us to wherever we were. I guessed it to be a surviving laguz. I hadn't noticed my eyes were closed until I opened them and saw a feline laguz rip the bottom of his shirt and hand the tattered fabric to Muarim. Muarim yelled something to the laguz again and then he sprinted off in the opposite direction.

"Be careful," I heard Muarim say clearly. After that, Muarim looked at me worriedly and again I struggled to focus my stare on his face. His glance was brief because soon after he scooted closer to the body of water and dipped the piece of shirt fabric in and brought it to my bleeding leg. He simultaneously kept me sitting up right and wiped away the crimson liquid seeping down my leg. His touch caused me to wince in pain and the strangest feeling shocked my body. I couldn't imagine what caused the sensation until I craned my head to get a closer look at my leg. And when I saw the severity of it, I was no longer sure of the likelihood of my survival. Never had I imagined seeing the bones of my own body. And yet, there it was. The traitorous laguz gnawed deep enough into my leg until he struck bone. The whiteness of the bone popped out dramatically against the dark thickness of the blood that surrounded it.

Although I promised myself not to scream and show more weakness than I had to, I could no longer help it. I threw my head back and moaned frustratingly. "What a mess…" I mumbled humorously.

"Little one…stay with me…I'm going to care of you, okay?"

"I'm not going…. anywhere…ha…not like this! Ha…ha…funny…you're so funny, Muarim…" The loopy feeling came over me again but this time it was much worse. Muarim didn't say anything, he just held the fabric closely to the gaping wound on my leg, being careful not to rub up against the bone. "You think…you think I'm going to die? Ha..ha…I never die…not with you…and Sothe…always butting in. I never get…what I want…ha ha…."

He looked at me questioningly. "Little one save your strength…I can't understand you."

"I wanted to die…but not anymore…we need to find Sothe…I need to thank him for stopping me…I miss Sothe. Where is he, Muarim? Can I talk to him? Ah…I wish he were here. I'm not going to die, Muarim. Not after everything…this isn't my place, so don't be sad!"

I wasn't positive, but I thought I saw Muarim beginning to tear. "Little one, I hope you made up _most_ of what you just said."

"Not one bit," I slurred. He stared at me wild-eyed with moisture forming under his eyes. Then, he continued to add pressure to my wound and carried on like the conversation never happened. "Cut it off…" I muttered daringly as a burst of pain shot up my leg.

Muarim froze, unable to look at me directly. "Cut it off…" I repeated, the agony swelling up inside me.

He continued to stare at my leg blankly; not daring to move a muscle "Cut it off…the leg!" I raised my voice that time.

"No…" he finally said. "No…I couldn't. There has to be another way. I sent some of the others off to find a healer. There has to be one in this town. They should be back soon."

I laughed sincerely and shook my head. "Like a healer in this town would be willing to help some laguz!"

"I don't care whether or not they want to help! I told the others to bring me a healer, no matter how they do it. I don't care if they have to beat him or her senseless! I don't care! All I care about is you, little one. I won't let you down…"

"Muarim, I'm going to die if you don't cut this leg off right now! If you care, you'll do it! If I had the strength to pick up my mend staff, I would do it in a heartbeat! But, I can't so I need you to do this for me."

"No…they'll come back!"

"Muarim…I'll be gone by the time they get here. Without magic, this injury is irreparable. If you cut it off now…we can be done with this and move on!"

"But-"

"I'm going to die! What don't you understand?" A long silence fell upon us both. After that final outburst I was done with talking. I couldn't catch my breath and the frightening feeling of suffocation tormented me. My body fell limp in Muarim's arms. Any bit of energy I had left me when the last pool of blood spilled out of my leg. I couldn't say anything else to Muarim. I could only hope that he would find a sword or anything to help him separate my irreparable leg from my body.

To my surprise, Muarim pulled a stained bronze knife from his pocket. I wondered why he had it but I was too weak to ask him. His face showed much hesitation and sorrow. But I was glad. So glad that he would be strong for me. As I carefully studied his movements he brought his hand to my face and gently closed my eyelids. He didn't want me to watch something so vile and I appreciated his gesture.

Although I struggled to hang on to my consciousness I could still feel him roll up the leg of my shorts until he found a clean spot to make his first cut. I admit, I was terrified. Probably more terrified than I had ever been prior. He had to still my leg for I started to shake out of pure terror. When I felt the cool blade press against my flesh, I sobbed. And at the sound of my sobbing, Muarim pulled the blade away. "Just do it!" I cried. For the second time he pressed the cold blade against my skin. Slowly, he applied more and more pressure. Slowly and carefully the blade sunk in, so chillingly against my warm leg. Now that I wanted to pass out, I absolutely could not. I was more awake than ever. At the first sharp prick I screamed earsplittingly enough for all of Tellius to hear. But then, just like that, the pain was gone. I heard the knife fall to the ground and I immediately became outraged. "Muarim! Just do it and ignore me!" I screamed. But he was silent to my outburst. I curiously opened one eye and when I did, I knew I wasn't dying. I was spared by the graciousness of fate.

"By the Goddess what has happened here?" came a voice I solely recognized as the healer who taught me all I knew about the art of using a staff. What he was doing in the middle of the Grann Desert I had no clue…but his arrival meant that I would live, that much I was sure of. There was much left for me to do in the world. That was made certain by Rhys's unexpected presence, which I was eternally grateful for.

"Nice to see you too…" I said under an obvious strain. As the fear of going through life with only one leg vanished, my pumping heart slowed and my eyelids began to fall. Muarim said something to Rhys, although I couldn't make out what exactly it was. But he spoke with such sorrow that I wanted to cry out for allowing myself to get injured so severely. Then, Rhys began to speak in a rushed tone. Even though I failed to comprehend his words, I could tell he was chanting a spell by the rhythm in his voice and the melodious composure in the few words I did understand.

Ever so slowly, the pain subsided and I began to become more aware of my surroundings. I could listen to Rhys's hurried chant and I soon noticed the tension in his voice. But I knew his spell was working, for the pain ceased to grow. Either that or I was passing into the void, which I firmly disbelieved. I attempted to open my eyes, but the incredible weakness was still ever present, as if I had gone weeks on end without sleep. Not only that, but the luminescence of Rhys's mend staff blinded me to no avail.

"There's so much blood…" Rhys uttered with a sense of hopelessness about him.

Muarim grunted. "Can you stop the bleeding?" He asked apprehensively.

"Hm? Oh yes of course! I've learned much since you last saw me three years ago. I've already stopped his bleeding and mended his torn skin and muscle, but…I only fear he has already lost too much blood prior to my arrival. I've never seen…so much…from one person…_ever_."

"Are you saying you can't help my little one? Rhys…he has only just begun to live! There must be something more you can do!" An angered growl rumbled in Muarim's throat and I could feel Rhys tense up as Muarim's animal-like instincts showed.

"Well…there is one thing…but I've never done it. And it has only been attempted a few times before…most times ending in failure. I…I don't have the means to perform something so intricate…but perhaps in the capital…no it is too far…we would never make it. I-I'm sorry…" he spoke. I barely had enough strength to even wonder what it was Rhys spoke of. But I did wonder how I could possibly die in his hands. It seemed so unlikely, yet I could tell Rhys was worried.

Muarim's curiosity, anger, and melancholy startled Rhys as he snarled barbarously like a beast. "Whatever this mystery remedy is you will do it, Rhys! I can get the little one and you to the capital by the morning. Is that enough time? The other laguz are indebted to me and must help, especially the bird tribe."

"I'm not sure how long he can last with so little blood…it's a gamble for sure. I suppose it depends on his will to live at this point."

"Good. My little on is stronger than you think. He will make it."

"This is a dangerous game we are playing…" he fretted.

"What other choice do we have? Come! We leave now!"

Ever so gently, Muarim scooped me up in his arms and pressed his forehead to mine. I couldn't open eyes, but I wanted to desperately so I could smile at Muarim and see him smile back. "Just a little longer, little one," he muttered.

"There is one more thing you should now. Tormod will need a donor in order to-" Rhys started.

"I'll do it," Muarim replied promptly without hesitation.

"That is very thoughtful Muarim but I don't think that would…"

"I said I'd do it! And if I can't do it then I'll find a way to do it!"

"Very well…I'll explain everything in full when we reach the capital if that's how it is going to be. In the mean time we need to keep Tormod awake if we are to have success at this."

Muarim shook me and yelled in my ear, as did Rhys. I wanted to open my eyes and tell them both to quit it, but the lack of strength I endured was crippling. Finally, Rhys resorted to more drastic measures. He whispered a spell he had once taught me years ago, the spell of adrenaline. "This time it is most necessary, my friend…" he murmured. As the incantation took effect I felt life swim back into my no longer dormant body. I shot my eyes open and took in all the sights around me. The first face that came into my field of vision was Muarim's. He looked incredibly pleased to see me awake, but I could tell he didn't understand the full price of the spell.

"Amazing…" he breathed. Soon after, Rhys explained to him quickly what the spell meant. After he was done with his explanation, we wasted no more time. Rhys and Muarim exchanged a few words that I paid no mind to, seeing as I was busying myself with studying my healed leg that bared not even one scar. _He's incredible_, I thought. _I want to be able to heal like that someday! _

After some mild discussion, it was decided that Muarim and the laguz would transform in order to speed up the travelling process. While Muarim shifted he handed me off to Rhys, who was more than glad to steady me while I stood.

"I got it," I said and Rhys reluctantly held back until I stumbled forward. For the small distance I did walk, I noticed I had acquired an irritating limp, originating from my once injured leg. For the time being, I overlooked it and hoped it would fade soon enough. "Sorry…" I mumbled timidly. Rhys smiled pleasantly as he allowed me to lean my weight onto him.

"You might be alert…but you still don't have enough blood in your body to feign good health. So let's be careful now!" He spoke. The two of us watched the laguz transform, dissolving out of their humanoid forms and into the shapes of stunning hawks, ravens, tigers, and cats.

For a moment I turned my attention away from the laguz and placed it solely on Rhys. "What brings you here anyway, old friend? Perfect timing might I add…"

"I could ask you the very same question, what with all this destruction I see! Is it a new hobby of yours to set buildings on fire? A most interesting hobby at that!" I laughed at this remark. "Well if you must know…I come to Karoo once every year."

My curiosity peeked at that statement. "Oh? Why is that?" I wondered out loud. Rhys let out a long lingering breath and stared longingly into the vast expanse of the desert where the dunes met the sky.

"I came to pay my respects to my dear brother. After all today is the anniversary of his death!" I gasped aloud at his words and I quickly realized that he didn't know. He didn't know that Devlin was my father. He didn't know of our blood ties. I opened my lips to speak excitedly but he cut me off before I could mouth a single word. "Tormod…what did happen to that house?"

I smiled wryly at his question. "I took it down," I replied simply.

"I can see that but…was it because I told you of this place so long ago?" he asked.

"A little of this…a little of that…I had my reasons. But it's a story for another day…it looks we are just about ready to leave anyway." We both glanced over to the laguz who were ready to depart. Muarim approached us and flicked his head backwards as if to show me where he wanted me to be. Rhys helped me onto Muarim's back where I laid on my stomach and wrapped my arms around Muarim's sides to hold on. Before Rhys disappeared from my line of sight I cried out, "Wait!" But my voice failed to reach his ears. With a disappointed sigh, I settled on waiting until we were in Sienne to tell him.

The ride through the desert was long and agonizing. As the adrenaline spell began to wear off, I admit, I felt like succumbing into the permanent slumber that beckoned me. Never before had I felt so numbingly cold under the scorching sun, but so it was. My teeth chattered and uncomfortable chills tickled my skin. My thoughts were reduced to the same line repeating over and over in my mind, _So cold…so cold…so cold…_

But I chose to carry on. I chose to survive, mostly for Muarim but I thought of Sothe and Sanaki too as I shivered through my journey back to the capital, where I had no intention of returning to, at least not for quite some time. About halfway through the journey I started to imagine the possibility of my own heart being able to pump enough blood for the rest of my body. The idea occurred to me as I found it harder and harder to breath with my heart fluttering like a hummingbird. Soon enough, my chest became a victim of a horrible twisting sensation. The chest pains failed to subside for the remainder of the time.

A little bit past the halfway mark of our march marked the beginning of the hallucinations. Somehow, the sand surrounding me turned a blinding white. Then, clumps of white fluff drizzled from the grey sky above like a rain shower. The dunes were no longer dunes in my wild eyes. Within seconds they shifted into treacherous white cap mountains. "Snow?" I muttered. A tantalizing chill shimmied up my spine and I sighed out of discontent. I thought nothing of the geography change, only that it was making me colder, which enticed my frustration. "I hate snow," I whined.

After hours of the wintry chill, I stopped paying attention to my surroundings. Instead, I became obsessed with the patterns of fur on Muarim's back. Before long, I became infatuated with the different layers and various shadings of green that I had nearly forgotten everything else. I was going mad. But I knew all that was needed of me was the smallest amount of strength and I was not about to let anyone down. Not after Muarim came back to me and not before I saw Sothe. I was going to live. Death was unacceptable, so I decided to embrace my delirium and wait for salvation to come.

My eyes shot open with a jolt. I wasn't sure if I had been sleeping or if I was having a hallucination. Either way, the undeniable clamor of chattering voices awoke me from my dormant state. At first it was only a low buzz of noise but soon it grew louder and louder. That was when I stopped feeling the vibration of Muarim's body in motion. He must have stopped so I slid off his back to see what the problem was. I stumbled a bit as I rolled off but Rhys was behind me before I could hit the pavement. Pavement? Before I realized where I was, Muarim and the rest of the laguz shifted into their humanoid forms.

"It would probably be best if you all hang back while we go into town. A band of laguz this large would stir trouble in a beorc town," Muarim said. The laguz mumbled in agreement. "South of here you can find our Emancipation Army. They are good friends of mine and were once in your position too. Find them near the beorc ruins and I promise they will help you, whether you decide to join our army or not. I thank you deeply for your help. None of this would have been possible if it weren't for your cooperation. Thank you…" he spoke gratefully. The laguz nodded and sent reassuring grins back at Muarim.

"Thank you, brother! It may have taken years but we finally are free of that accursed place! I no longer believe there is a Goddess…for what kind of divine being would let us suffer so? Despite those feelings…you have our deepest gratitude. I'm only sorry that one of us wasn't so faithful to our cause…but your child is strong. Frighteningly so! Watch over him, brother. And take care of yourself," said a tiger laguz with dusty gray hair and silvery eyes.

My eyes slid closed again and Rhys gently nudged me on the shoulder. "Just a little longer, Tormod. You're doing wonderfully!" he said soothingly as ever. I grunted in return and let my head droop on his arm. When I reopened my eyes, I found the gray laguz hovering over me with a tenacious look about him.

"Thank you for being the kindle to our fire, young one. There was never a day when Muarim didn't talk of his red haired beorc. We should have realized sooner you were a friend. I pray you can forgive us for our harsh judgment earlier. But don't bother saying anything just focus on getting well. Farewell, young beorc! Live strong," spoke the tiger laguz. I tried for a smile but my lips felt numb so I let my eyes fall closed again. When I was jostled awake by Rhys, I noticed all the laguz were gone.

At some point I was handed off to Muarim and we began walking through Sienne together. And at another point we were inside somewhere foreign to me. I attempted to study my surroundings and found a graying man seated behind a wooden desk with years of stress evident on his face in the form of wrinkles and dark bags underneath the eyes. When we entered the office-like space, the man immediately sneered at us, seeing Muarim's green tail sway back and fourth. "What do you want?" he spat distastefully in a rather raspy disgruntled voice. Rhys stepped forward and bowed politely.

"Good morning, sir. I came here seeking your medical advice. I hear that you are the best healer in Sienne, an incredible feat! And well...I'm aware that you're a busy man but my good friend is in dire need of your help. If you could help him straightaway I would be indebted to you for as long as the Goddess wills me to live!" Rhys exclaimed. The old healer shot a look at me and then glared at Muarim scornfully.

"Mmm…enough talk! Let me see the boy," he grumbled. My eyelids drooped down again but I immediately forced them back open and made eye contact with the old healer. My stare must have seemed desperate, seeing as the healer frowned upon looking into my eyes. "Pah. Why have you brought me a dead child? This is a waste of my time. I can't bring the dead back to life. I refuse to practice the dark arts!" he yelled.

My blood boiled at his remark. "N-not…dead…you son of a-" Muarim pinched my arm to stop me from finishing my words.

Rhys pleaded with the old man again. "Please, sir, we've travelled a great distance! My friend has lost a great deal of blood and-"

"Too much blood! His heart will tire of pumping fresh blood and it will eventually stop beating. I'm a healer, not a miracle worker! Now quit wasting my time with your petty concerns." _Who the hell is this guy?_ I raged mentally.

"Please! If you won't help him then could you kindly let me borrow some of your medical equipment? I'll be most careful! All I need are a few needles and any large tube or capsule you have. I'll do everything myself! I'll pay you whatever you want but please let me help my dear friend! He grows weak!" Rhys implored frantically.

The old healer paused for a moment and observed Rhys trembling from complete desperation. "What is it you plan to do?" he asked with his arms folded.

"I'm going to perform a blood transfusion, sir," Rhys stated.

"Ah. You are aware that no one, at least around here, has ever successfully performed a transfusion? You would be the first. I'll tell you what…I'll give you everything you need and if the boy lives to tell this tale I won't charge you a single piece of gold! I'll make you very well known if you can do this," the man bargained.

"That is kind of you, sir. Now, please show me where I can find what I need! I don't have much time!" Rhys replied hastily.

"Of course. But…might I ask who is donating the blood for this experiment of yours? _You_ couldn't possibly function with such a loss of blood. So who will it be?"

"I haven't decided yet."

"Not I," said the healer, just to be clear. Rhys nodded his head.

"Then I guess it will be me," Rhys declared. Muarim's body stiffened and he dropped his head almost shamefully.

"Then you will most definitely fail. Count on that!" said the old man coldly. I shuddered at his bitterness and watched Rhys scrunch his face up as if he were in pain. A single tear streamed down his cheek gracefully.

All was silent, until Muarim's deep voice disrupted the quiet. "I will do it," he stated boldly. Rhys and the healer gasped simultaneously. The decrepit healer then giggled in defiance.

"Subhuman blood mixed with human blood? Disgusting! I don't even want to think of the consequences of that. Do the child a favor and don't damn him to such a wretched curse."

Despite my weakness, I wanted to incinerate the arrogant healer for talking to Muarim in such a way. _When this is over…I'm going to punch him_, I though cynically.

"Muarim…that is very brave of you but…I don't know how Tormod's heart will react to such different blood! It is such an incredible risk! I don't know if-"

"We have no choice! If we don't take risks then we might as well do nothing at all. I hate this idea as much as you…but I don't see any other options. All I know is that I can't let my little one die on me…even if I have to damn him. Rhys…I don't care! I want my little one to live!" Muarim roared like an enraged laguz. The old healer seemed to shake where he stood.

"Take what you need! But I want nothing to do with this abomination!" The healer shouted fretfully.

"Very well, Muarim. May the Goddess watch over us," Rhys prayed.

* * *

I was slightly disappointed that I never saw this impossible feat occur. How such a thing was even possible to accomplish, I had not the slightest clue! As soon as the first needle was inserted into my vein I blacked out completely and for the rest of the procedure. As I rested in the darkness, I refused to pass into the void.

However, I was rudely reminded of my livelihood towards the end of the entire ordeal when I began to feel real burning aching and stabbing pain, all centered around my chest. It felt as if my heart were being twisted into hundreds and hundreds of knots. My skin felt like it was set aflame and my lungs could hardly carry the intensity of my high-pitched scream. "Make it stop! Make it stop!" I yelled. The pain was so terrible that I began to run my nails across my face, leaving scratch marks along the way. But then, strangely enough, the burning feeling moved away from my heart and onto the front of my right hand. I scratched at my hand and hoped to lessen the burning somehow, but to no avail. If I had had the means to, I would have severed my hand from my wrist. "Muarim! Rhys! Make it stop!" I yelled manically again. I cried and I cried for their help but I never felt their touch or heard their comforting voices. It was like they had abandoned me. "MUARIM! PLEASE!" I screeched one last time. "Rhys!"

Finally, I let out the most deafening blood curdling scream I had ever released. And just like that, the pain subsided. The burning was gone. The twisting had vanished. And I opened my crimson eyes to the world around me. Sweat dripped from my brow and into my eye. My breathing was increasingly heavy but my heart was slowing down, not dangerously so. I found myself on a tiny cot that was considerably wet from my own perspiration. I ran my hand through my ruby red hair and felt its dampness. Slightly disgusted, I stood up straight and found Muarim in a chair next to me, clutching my arm. I wiped more perspiration out of my eyes and wept, not from pain or sadness, but because I was happy. I survived and that meant I had many more years to spend with Muarim. At the time, that was all that was important to me.

"Muarim…" I whispered. He looked at me with concern and obvious guilt, but besides that I could tell he was just as happy as me.

"You did very well, little one. You're okay now," he assured me. I giggled with glee and blinked more perspiration out of my eyes and then rubbed them since they were slightly blurred by the sweat. Once my vision was no longer blocked by the moisture, I took in a sharp breath alarmingly. I blinked several times and rubbed my eyes again. How…?

"Is something wrong, little one?"

I grinned animatedly and stared in wonder at every swirl of wood in the wall and every dust particle on the floor. "Everything is so…clear! It's incredible!" I breathed in a puff of air with my nose and smelt an array of scents. First there was the musty scent of blood, then there was the putrid smell of sweat, and most distinctly a different strong scent overwhelmed me. It smelt of the outside world, mostly the desert. It took me a second to realize that it was Muarim's scent. "My nose…it's sensitive!" I exclaimed. I giggled some more as I tried to pick up hundreds of scents at once. "This is really overwhelming! There's so much to see and smell…and hear!" I could hear careful footsteps gliding across the pavement outside, then the tiny squeak of a doorknob turning. I breathed in through my nose again and picked up the undeniable scent of blood and malodorous medicine herbs. "That must be Rhys!"

"Yes…he went to get you food for when you wake up. Do you smell it?"

I sniffed the air again. "It's meat!"

"Very good. Little one…how do you feel?"

"More alive than I ever have before!" Muarim smiled tiredly.

"Good…that is good." His words slurred together and soon I realized that he was exhausted. I wasn't sure how much of his blood he had given me, but it had to have been a decent amount.

"Muarim…you can rest now. You've done enough for me…thank you."

"Never thank me for what I've done to you, little one."

"Why?" I asked, feeling confused and infuriated. He grabbed my hand and held it up close to my face so I could see. There, on the back of my hand, was an emerald mark. A mark of the branded.

* * *

**A/N: **Like I said...there is an epilogue coming! And it won't be quite so long...actually I hope it's not even half as long as this. But, it's coming soon! Possibly even tonight if I'm feeling ambitious. Thanks for reading!


	38. Epilogue

**A/N: **As promised here is the epilogue! I'm a little sad to be done with this story but now I can finally move on! I could probably write more with all these characters but I think it's time to say good-bye...for now anyway. So enjoy this last little bit of Warn you With a Whisper!

* * *

Epilogue

**Two weeks later…**

Muarim and I recovered quite swiftly from the pandemonium we had endured. I admit, after everything, I was changed forever. I would never be the same person I was three years ago. That embodiment of myself was gone for good as far as I was concerned. I was different. I was stronger. Much stronger. I owed most of my strength to spirit charming, somewhat regretfully. But I firmly believed that if I had not taken such dire actions then I truly would have lost Muarim forever. And that was not something I was willing to tolerate again.

Spirit charming had its queer effects on me. Many nights I suffered from horrific nightmares where I spiraled into the bottomless pits of hell in a fiery blaze. Other times, taunting voices echoed in my head, but just as mysteriously as they appeared, they elusively would vanish. On a positive note, I never felt bloodlust or any hostility to those whom I cared for. But then again, I was a new spirit charmer and my fate was still uncertain.

Muarim never understood what measures I had undergone to save him and the laguz and I was thankful for that bit of ignorance. He was better off not knowing and of course I consistently hid my mark on the inside of my palm, the mark of a spirit charmer.

The black spiral on my palm wasn't the only marking I had to hide. As time went on, I grew accustomed to wearing gloves in public. I was never ashamed of the mark of the branded on the back of my hand. If anything, it reminded me that Muarim loved me enough to give me a piece of him so I could live on. So in a way, it was the greatest gift Muarim could have ever given me. Life. Not only that, but I felt more powerful bearing the crest of the branded. All of my senses were heightened but I soon found out that Muarim's were still sharper than mine. Just as his senses were sharper, his life was still longer. But Muarim did tell me that I would probably stop showing signs of aging, which meant I was done growing, to my extreme displeasure.

"I wouldn't be able to picture you any other way. Now you'll always be my little one." He would often tease me by saying that whenever I grew cocky with the prospect that being one of the branded made me stronger. He disliked me being branded. He was happy he could save me…but he never stopped saying how he wished he could change me back to how I was.

No matter what Muarim said about it, I was thankful. Now, Muarim and I were more connected than ever. Although, I never told him of all my troubles while he was gone, except what I had accidentally dribbled to him when I had lost too much blood. He didn't need to know. What point would it serve? I could never think of a practical reason to tell him, so I remained quiet.

The effects of his abandonment showed quite often. Sometimes I found myself quivering or pacing back and fourth if he left for more than a few minutes. It was a problem of anxiety to say the least but I knew, given enough time, I would be able to push the entire nightmare behind me.

As for Rhys, he fled home to Crimea as soon as I had recovered. He was just one more person I owed my life to. And yet, I never did tell him of our blood ties that I had discovered. I found myself content with being great friends, rather than relatives. It wasn't necessary…I never felt any different about him just because we were linked through blood. Being friends was good enough for me and I would leave it at that.

With both Muarim and I being fully recovered, I was able to continue on my mission of finding Sothe and helping the alleged Daien liberation army free prisoners from a camp in Begnion. I planned on helping the liberators and then pressing them for information about Sothe and if they knew nothing then I would find another way to find him.

We took one other laguz with us and we didn't take the obvious route in choosing Cade as our accompaniment. He refused to come saying he needed to "hold down the fort" while we were away. So Muarim and I decided on Vika since she was new and needed her share of experience. The three of us traveled together all through the night and into the morning. Around mid day we had arrived outside the prison camp where Daien soldiers were being held.

The camp was a tall gray stoned structure that gave off ominous energy. Excited that we had at last arrived, I sprinted past Muarim and Vika, leaving them in the dust. "Hey wait up, boss! You can't go in without us!" Vika exclaimed, out of breath. I continued forward with a burst of adrenaline pushing my body forward.

Although they were ways behind me, I could pick up on Muarim saying, "Once he starts with his running he won't stop! It's best if we catch up with him."

"He's here one minute then gone the next! I can hardly keep up!" Vika complained.

"And who do you think taught him how to run?"

It didn't take long for me to sprint up to the prison camp. I didn't find many soldiers on the outside, assuming they had their hands full on the interior of the camp. Breaking in wasn't a terribly difficult task. Along the side of the structure, we ventured into a dark series of tunnels that we hoped would lead to the liberation army and the Daein prisoners. None of us had too much difficulty seeing in the dark, so we were able to move along rather quickly.

Soon, a ray of light was visible at the end of our path. "This must be it! Get ready!" I informed. The three of us came bursting through the tunnel and were immediately met up with Begnion soldiers equipped with spears and swords. As soon as we were in their field of vision Muarim and Vika transformed intimidatingly. The soldiers shook in their boots at the sight of Muarim's ferocious snarl and his razor sharp teeth. Vika released a piercing bird cry that caused the soldiers to shudder.

"S-subhumans!" One of the soldiers yelled with apparent cowardice. In an instant Muarim had pounced on the Begnion soldier that spoke. Then Vika took flight and targeted a soldier behind Muarim. Suddenly, a pair of soldiers approached me aggressively with their weapons raised high in the air.

"This one hasn't transformed yet! Kill him before he does!" cried the oncoming soldier. I laughed menacingly at their bluntness and flashed the soldiers a devilish grin.

"I might not be able to do that," I motioned to Muarim ripping a part a soldier with his long and deadly claws, "But! I can do this _pretty_ well…"

Sensing that my enemy was not of astounding strength, I saved my energy by casting a weaker fire spell but one that would inflict an equal amount of damage. The tips of my fingers flared to life with bouncing flames that spiraled up the rest of my arms. I released the pent up heat stored within the fire spirits and watched in satisfaction as I lit up the soldiers like candles and watched them melt away like goopy wax.

"A mage! Don't get near him!" Screamed a frightened soldier.

"That's what I like to hear!" I said confidently as a few soldiers retreated and regrouped. Getting caught up in the thrill of fighting, I almost hadn't noticed that Muarim and Vika were far ahead of me. "Those cheaters…" I mumbled. I sprinted forward with great tenacity and before long the liberation army came into view. They were all dressed differently, unlike the Begnion soldiers. Seeing them brought up a buried memory of Ike's army during the Mad King's War. I smiled at the comforting thought.

As I drew nearer to the liberation army, I became lost in my own thoughts about the Crimean liberation army. Thinking about everyone I fought with, I continued to sprint forward, my mind and eyes failing to work together. _I wonder what Ike is doing now and everyone else. It's been so long…I wonder if-_

Just as I was losing myself in more senseless thoughts I crashed into something tall and solid. The impact sent me falling backwards where I landed on my bottom with an audible thud. I hissed in mild discomfort.

"Watch where you're going, you reckless fool!" I mumbled an apology in return, assuming I hadn't hit a Begnion soldier or else they would have come after me. I slowly picked myself up, rubbing my bottom where it tingled from coming into contact with the hard unforgiving floor. For a split second I lifted my eyes up at the face that owned the somewhat deep unrecognizable voice that scolded me in a strangely familiar way.

The figure was noticeably taller than me and undeniably lean and well built. His enticing golden eyes locked onto mine. His emerald eyebrows rose in surprise upon looking at me while his thin lips parted. I needed to blink several times in order to get the entire picture and understand exactly who was in front of me. He carried a series of small knives in between the spaces of his fingers and in his other hand was a throwing knife with a sharp tip and a serrated edge.

"Well if it isn't Sothe!" I shouted enthusiastically, my heart growing warmer upon seeing him.

"Tormod?"

"Sothe…you're…you're…di-different! _Really _different! You're too tall if you ask me! Have you ever tried shrinking? And what is all of _that_? When did _that_ happen?" I pointed to his arms and core that were dramatically built.

"I'm not sure if I should apologize or start laughing."

"Start apologizing! You grew up! This is too weird! I don't like it, Sothe. Not one bit!"

"You haven't changed much, have you?" he said. I laughed aloud at that, thinking of all that he didn't know. Suddenly, a battle cry cut our conversation short. "Duck!" he yelled. I slid down to the ground and carefully avoided the projectile aimed towards me. Sothe sent his knife cutting through the air to stop the soldier behind me in his tracks. I rolled out of the way to give him room to fight. What I saw Sothe do was unbelievable. When the soldier launched a counter attack, Sothe's back appeared like rubber as he bent backwards until his hands reached over his head and his legs kicked over the rest of his body, springing himself out of the enemy's range. He landed steadily on both feet, with his knife ready in his hand. I watched the scene before me in admiration, too speechless to help. In a splint second, Sothe pounced on the soldier again. This time he stunned him by kicking him in the chest plate with his boot and then used that momentum to push himself into the air, flipping his entire body until he once again landed on his two feet. The dazed soldier staggered backwards and before he could recover Sothe had him dripping blood in numerous places.

"That just isn't fair!" I whined. Sothe chuckled, sheathing his knife.

"What are you doing here anyway?" he asked.

"To find you obviously! Oh and I guess help out your friends too but it was mostly for you…don't tell!"

He sighed. "Why would-"

"This one is mine!" I shouted vehemently and let the heat of fire course through my veins. The flickering flames crawled up the contours of my arms and engulfed my hands in its sizzling embrace. I homed in on the approaching soldier and started to mutter complex phrases in the ancient language. A dry gust of wind shot from within me and the orange and red auras danced around me as I put on a flashy fire display. I didn't need to be quite so dramatic, but I felt the need to show case everything I had learned. I lifted my arm skyward and brought it back down to the earth with a yell. As my hand touched the stone the ground became hot and cracked down the middle where a blazing red liquid bubbled underneath. Falling into the crack, the soldier screamed for mercy. Rather childishly, I stuck my tongue out at him and laughed deviously. A strange feeling of joy took over me as I watched the life slip out of the soldier, slowly and agonizingly. Just as quickly as the odd feeling came over me, it vanished. When I was complete I looked to Sothe for approval.

"I'm impressed…but you kind of scared me at the end there."

"Ha! That was my intention, Sothe!" I said, even though I partially lied. Sothe grinned and my worries melted away.

"The battle is thinning out…thanks for the help."

On a spur of the moment, I blatantly came out with what I wanted to say to Sothe. "He's alive…"

"He?"

"Muarim…he's here. Fighting with me!" Sothe didn't say anything; he only stared blankly at me, as if he didn't believe what I had said. "What I said three years ago…I…I didn't mean it. I should have never said those things to you…Sothe you know you're still my best friend even though you probably hate me by now."

"I don't hate you. I never have. I just worried about you, that's all. Sure, you have your way of getting on my nerves and sure you know exactly how to piss me off… but no…I definitely could never _hate_ you."

My eyes brightened. "Why?"

"You know why."

"Does that mean we can be friends again? Because I honestly can't take this whole never-seeing-you business!"

He stretched out his hand towards me. "Friends?"

I grabbed his hand firmly and smiled with new hope. "_Best _friends. C'mon, Sothe! Say it!"

"Fine…best friends it is."

* * *

**A/N: **And you thought I forgot about Sothe! Haha never! Sothe has the last word of course :) Reviews would be great! Hope you all enjoyed reading this just as much as I enjoyed writing it!


End file.
